well i work at helpdesk and often sisters etc come for computer help i help em wiv gaze down hardly any talk etc etc but for some reason im always shy to say salaam to em, i mean weneva they ask a question its like i directly answer that question and thats it, nothing more. im thinking if that was you as a sister would you be offended? (been thinkin this for too long so thought let me ask inshaAllaah)
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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i have heard that When a strange [i.e. non-mahram] women greets a man with salam, he should answer her verbally loud enough for her to hear if she is an elderly women. However, if she is a younger women he should respond within himself. Likewise, when a man greets a [non-mahram] women with salam, the ruling would be the same alahu yaclam,
i have also heard you shouldnt say salam to a non mahram but if they say it to you then you must replay back in a low voice so that they can at least hear you. but allah knows best.
I've never thought about that before ffended: like today I walked into a bookshop....its opened new round my area....should I have walked in in complete silence and not said salaam to the brother? it would have been rude to ignore him would it not?
As a sis i wont get offended atall.
I have the same problem.i am too shy to say salaam to non mahrems
( esp when i have to say salaam to male cousins and uncles). My mom thinks i am a wierd girl :rolleyes: .
Sis Muslimah gave some good advice there . MashaAllah she is always like that .
I am currently studying at uni. I dont drop in salaam right, left, and center to men, when i am going down the stairs, or going from one lecture room to the other. But yes, i do say salaam to all the girls, whom i know as well as those whom i dont know. Alhumdulillah everyone here is muslim, but people(both genders) these days think that if somebody from the opposite gender says salaam to them , they are interested in them. Astagfirullah If girls can misinterpret salaam, boys can do that too.
When i have to ask something from my male teachers, about tests, or assignments etc, i take a friend of mine along with me, and as i have to talk to him , so i start with salaam.Its like
"May i come in, sir." "Assalamualaikum sir" "If you are not busy, i had to ask about the lecture". And yes with my gaze down.And ask what i wanted to know and then saying Thankyou i leave. I will be adding Assalamualaikum in the end.
Its not a chit chat like Assalamualaikum, how are you, the weather seems to be nice <---- Not in that way .
MashaAllah akhee, i really appreciate your shyness.
Hehehe! I do not get it. What the deal man! Just say your salaam to the sister. It is not like you are going to flirt with them or something. Jee! some men. Does a man thinks differntly than a woman when he is about to say salaam to her. Maybe you are shy because (maybe) you are single. Are you single brother. This shyness might be pointing to something completely different. Prophet would not have hesitated in saying salaam inshaAllah.
It all depends i say. I would say salaam to a sister if i went to a store she runs, but never to her if i ran into one at the market (unless necessary). Likewise, i wouldn't say salam to her at the masjid (unless needed).
why?
First the sister herself and then cuz of the community. For her it's ok if a non-muslim guy says "hi" to her and she'll galdy reply back. But if a Muslim guy to say "salam" there's that suspicion of "ulterior motives", and the same goes with the community. if you were to say salam, everybody start wondering if you're interested in the sister.
so just cuz of the mentality of the opposite gender and community, they feel secure saying "hi" to non-muslims.
=Anonymous Tester;646815]
Sis Muslimah gave some good advice there . MashaAllah she is always like that .
loq thank you
When i have to ask something from my male teachers, about tests, or assignments etc, i take a friend of mine along with me, and as i have to talk to him , so i start with salaam.Its like
"May i come in, sir." "Assalamualaikum sir" "If you are not busy, i had to ask about the lecture". And yes with my gaze down.And ask what i wanted to know and then saying Thankyou i leave. I will be adding Assalamualaikum in the end.
Its not a chit chat like Assalamualaikum, how are you, the weather seems to be nice <---- Not in that way .
MashaAllah akhee, i really appreciate your shyness.
A perfect example there mashaAllah
Keeping the gaze down when saying salam is excellent. InshaAllah, saying it this way, combined with a flat tone of voice and keeping the rest of the convo (if followed) business-like, a salam wouldn't be taken the wrong way.
Assalamoalaikum,
When I was working we had no men at work and suddenly then we had a few men teachers hired for boys section at school and in addition they were Pakistanis too. So If an Islamic religion teacher passed by us, he'd run along as if he never saw us. If the Pakistani teachers(men) passed by they'd always like to say Assalamoalaikum Ma'am or Ms... how r u? and go on with their work.
First I found it terrible, then I got used to it but then I had this sick feeling that my husband is looking at me from somewhere, when I talked to a male teacher...hehehehe
Anyways, at his work he has to shake hands with Lebanese Women whether muslims or chirstians. Coz Most of Lebanese Muslims r much like Christians. Some Muslim ladies also kiss men on their cheeks while saying salam and shaking hand!!!!!!!!!!
I feel I've lost a thousand years,just living day by day.I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,my sorrow guides the way. By Jamie Pace
First I found it terrible, then I got used to it but then I had this sick feeling that my husband is looking at me from somewhere, when I talked to a male teacher...hehehehe
Anyways, at his work he has to shake hands with Lebanese Women whether muslims or chirstians. Coz Most of Lebanese Muslims r much like Christians. Some Muslim ladies also kiss men on their cheeks while saying salam and shaking hand!!!!!!!!!!
Two exciting stories, insha'Allah, how much guidance is in their in following the sunnah especially a forgotten sunnah "lowering the gaze infront of non-mahram"
“There was a companion of ours in Glasgow who became ill and was hospitalized. He was admitted for three days and on the fourth day the attendant nurse said, “Marry me”. He [the brother in Glasgow] asked, “Why? I am a Muslim, you and I cannot become companions.” She said, “I’ll become Muslim”. “What’s the reason?” it was asked. She said, “In all my time that I have served in hospitals, except you, I have never seen a man lower his gaze in front of a woman.” “In my life you are the first person who lowers his gaze when seeing a woman.” “I come, and you close your eyes. Such great modesty can be taught by none other than a true religion.” The protection of one’s gaze entered Islam in her. She became Muslim. They both got married. By now, that girl has become the means of bringing so many other girls into Islam. How many of the women there have become Muslim.”
[Mawlana Tariq Jamil]
“This time when I went for Hajj, a young man had come there from Italy. He was from the lineage of Sayyiduna Hasan رضى الله عنه and was a local of Marrakesh. Out of necessity he had been living in Italy. At the age of twenty two he got all the Muslims in Italy moving.
Three hundred mosques have been built, when there had been none. And he had brought with him seventy young men to Hajj. So immense is the power given by Allah to Muslims. He wasn’t an ‘Aalim [Scholar]. … But the way he brought there [in Italy] this effort to life, he became the means for the construction of three hundred mosques, and a means for thousands of young Muslims to make tawba [repentance].
So this is your work, your responsibility. I neither say, become a member of the Tablighi Jamat, nor am I inviting you to any other group. [What I say is]: Me and you, all of us become the servants of Allah and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم, and become those who spread to others this servitude. And in spreading it whatever hardships we may face, we bear for the Pleasure of Allah. From al-Kawthar, the Beloved of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, with his own hands, will give to drink. All sorrows and pain will leave. There will be a call there: “Where are my last Ummatis? When the Deen was being erased, they were the ones who embraced it and conveyed my message and spread it.””
Hadith: "The best of my community are my generation, and then those who follow them, and then those who follow them" [related by Imran ibn al-Husayn in Bukhari].
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I've never thought about that before
ffended: like today I walked into a bookshop....its opened new round my area....should I have walked in in complete silence and not said salaam to the brother? it would have been rude to ignore him would it not?
.
If girls can misinterpret salaam, boys can do that too.
<---- Not in that way .
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