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will a sis get offended?

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    IbnAbdulHakim's Avatar Full Member
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    will a sis get offended?

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    well i work at helpdesk and often sisters etc come for computer help i help em wiv gaze down hardly any talk etc etc but for some reason im always shy to say salaam to em, i mean weneva they ask a question its like i directly answer that question and thats it, nothing more. im thinking if that was you as a sister would you be offended? (been thinkin this for too long so thought let me ask inshaAllaah)
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    Malaikah's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: will a sis get offended?



    Do you look like a Muslim? Silly question, but personally, I think if I can tell that you are a Muslim then I wouldn't be offended, but it is probably a good idea to say salam lol.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    Well, i work to at an office. I don't work with (young) muslim men. I do talk without my will to my collegues. I don't even want to work in the first place, but because it's a course for school to learn the practical i have to. I don't even like my education, and love to stay home later to take care of my house husband and children Insha Allah.

    If i did work with muslim men, i think i would be shy also and would rather ask help from a kafir then my muslim brother...it's just a discomfort...

    But i guess this wasn't your question, i just thought i would place the girl's perspective..

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    Re: will a sis get offended?



    Personally I wouldn’t get offended. Women are different from men, their mentally is very different. Something as simple as salaam could mean a whole different thing to them (So I have been told by a lot of sisters). You may utter the salaam beneath your breath or say it as she leaves to ensure there is no fitnah caused by it.

    Actually I’d say the best time to say salaam is as she leaves, it makes matter much easier and you have done your duty to greet a fellow Muslim.
    There is a chance that some sisters may be offended, they may get the impression that you don’t want to voice your identity as a Muslim. However, Allaah is your witness to what is in your heart so do what is best for your imaan rather then trying not to offend others. The shaytaan tries every tool in the world to put doubts into our minds. There have been many cases where brothers felt bad for not greeting sisters or vice versa and only fitnah came out of it as a result.

    I hope I was helpful and Inshallaah all goes well .
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by Malaikah View Post


    Do you look like a Muslim? Silly question, but personally, I think if I can tell that you are a Muslim then I wouldn't be offended, but it is probably a good idea to say salam lol.
    A man can say Salam. I read one day (Don't really remember where) that a woman cannot start with Salam.

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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by Silver Pearl View Post


    Personally I wouldn’t get offended. Women are different from men, their mentally is very different. Something as simple as salaam could mean a whole different thing to them (So I have been told by a lot of sisters). You may utter the salaam beneath your breath or say it as she leaves to ensure there is no fitnah caused by it.

    Actually I’d say the best time to say salaam is as she leaves, it makes matter much easier and you have done your duty to greet a fellow Muslim.
    There is a chance that some sisters may be offended, they may get the impression that you don’t want to voice your identity as a Muslim. However, Allaah is your witness to what is in your heart so do what is best for your imaan rather then trying not to offend others. The shaytaan tries every tool in the world to put doubts into our minds. There have been many cases where brothers felt bad for not greeting sisters or vice versa and only fitnah came out of it as a result.

    I hope I was helpful and Inshallaah all goes well .
    Ahsanti Ukhti

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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    thats not shyness bro
    that just bad manners
    Honestly if I saw a muslim and they didnt say salam to me or reply my salam I would really think they have no manners at all

    When Allah has commanded for us to bid salam when we meet other muslims we MUST

    So fulfil the commandment and bid salam to any muslim male or female when you see them insha'Allah. Its part of our good manners.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    I think if there's going to be talk between muslims, then it must always start with saying salam. You're only giving duaa. If anyone is offended by receiving duaa, that's not your fault. Personally, I don't like it when people muslims start talking to each other without saying salam first.

    Like if I go into a meat shop. I say "aslam alaikum - can I have 3lbs of chops please?" It doesn't have to be like "aslam alaikum, how are you, how's your day going..." etc etc.. A simple salam is good enuff.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    saying of salam when conversing with a muslim is a commandment in the Quran

    we as muslims must submit our views when there is a commandment present insha'Allah

    there really should be no place for 'discussions and arguments' in these cases

    just my 2 cents
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by FollowingAlhuda View Post
    A man can say Salam. I read one day (Don't really remember where) that a woman cannot start with Salam.


    I've never heard that before... Do you have any hadiths or something for that?
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by FollowingAlhuda View Post
    A man can say Salam. I read one day (Don't really remember where) that a woman cannot start with Salam.

    Wallaho Ta'ala a3lem

    that's not true sis. the ruling is same for both ways. neways bak2topic..



    ps: here's source: http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=39258&ln=eng
    Last edited by lolwatever; 01-23-2007 at 10:44 AM.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    if a man..unknown man gave me salaam....dunno how i'd react....different women react diff ways..get diff understanding....u knw wt i mean...

    well if sisters approach you...if they say salaam...could reply back and help them directly inshAllah...

    if u approach them with salaam...would abit weird......

    on the other hand salaam can be given to anybody...but depends on them how they take it.....
    will a sis get offended?

    All i hope is for my mums happiness.Shes my light.Shes my dunya.Her tears are my weakness.Her sadness breaks my heart.She is my mirror.A mirror that keeps me alive.Without her am nothing.shes my saaya.How can i leave her.I pray to Allah(swt) to keep me with her forever inshAllah.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by traveler View Post
    if a man..unknown man gave me salaam....dunno how i'd react....different women react diff ways..get diff understanding....u knw wt i mean...


    If it was just some stranger walking in the street and you and him where both alone, ok that would be weird, but the women have to talk to him anyway! It doesn't make sense that he has to talk to them to answer the question but he wouldn't say salam?:confused:
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by akulion View Post
    thats not shyness bro
    that just bad manners
    Honestly if I saw a muslim and they didnt say salam to me or reply my salam I would really think they have no manners at all

    When Allah has commanded for us to bid salam when we meet other muslims we MUST

    So fulfil the commandment and bid salam to any muslim male or female when you see them insha'Allah. Its part of our good manners.
    jazakAllah khair, big bro may Allaah help me rectify ma manners
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    jazakAllah khair everyone
    will a sis get offended?

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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by traveler View Post
    if a man..unknown man gave me salaam....dunno how i'd react....different women react diff ways..get diff understanding....u knw wt i mean...

    well if sisters approach you...if they say salaam...could reply back and help them directly inshAllah...

    if u approach them with salaam...would abit weird......

    on the other hand salaam can be given to anybody...but depends on them how they take it.....

    well.. approaching a brother just to say salam would be weird, but if your going to approach one - say in a shop etc and ask the price of sumthin, I think one should say salam first. Same goes for them too.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by lolwatever View Post

    that's not true sis. the ruling is same for both ways. neways bak2topic..



    ps: here's source: http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=39258&ln=eng
    Well you cannot say im wrong, because if you read the article, it's better not to greet when there is fitnah, so i guess i heard it for a part right.
    Last edited by FollowingAlhuda; 01-23-2007 at 11:09 AM.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    erm am a lil confused here...is salaam giving to anybody acceptable in islam?..randomly anywhere...

    with bro IbnAbdulHakim its understandable as his working..that is part of his job...

    bu t for example weirdos on the street..unknown creeps approach you with the greetings of islam? is that unacceptable?.....his intentions may be utterly wrong...
    will a sis get offended?

    All i hope is for my mums happiness.Shes my light.Shes my dunya.Her tears are my weakness.Her sadness breaks my heart.She is my mirror.A mirror that keeps me alive.Without her am nothing.shes my saaya.How can i leave her.I pray to Allah(swt) to keep me with her forever inshAllah.
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim View Post


    well i work at helpdesk and often sisters etc come for computer help i help em wiv gaze down hardly any talk etc etc but for some reason im always shy to say salaam to em, i mean weneva they ask a question its like i directly answer that question and thats it, nothing more. im thinking if that was you as a sister would you be offended? (been thinkin this for too long so thought let me ask inshaAllaah)
    Well,

    read this insha Allah
    http://fatwa-online.com/fataawa/wome...am/0021119.htm
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    Re: will a sis get offended?

    format_quote Originally Posted by traveler View Post
    erm am a lil confused here...is salaam giving to anybody acceptable in islam?..randomly anywhere...

    with bro IbnAbdulHakim its understandable as his working..that is part of his job...

    bu t for example weirdos on the street..unknown creeps approach you with the greetings of islam? is that unacceptable?.....his intentions may be utterly wrong...
    If it wouldn't cause fitnah it's permissable,
    read my last post, it's a fatwa of Sheikh Abdulaziz Bin-Baz.

    Look at his first point
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