Parents!! Parents !!! Concerns and Problems with

**noahs_arc** · 03-09-2007

my parents are not happily married.
they do not talk to eachother and constantly fight and argue. this has started to reflect upon my siblings now. i cannot remeber a time in my life where we have been a happy family even though my mother claims we are. i feel that because i have never seen my parents show any kind of affection towards each other this has reflected greatly on me and my siblings. it has reflected on me as my best firend is the complete opposite to my father. and every day i don't want to be at home my love for my friend grows stronger. i really think now that he is the only thing keeping my alive.

my paretns' relationsip is also affecting my siblings. my brothers have begun to swear at eachother and at my parents. my mother has no real control other them even though she is trying more than she can. my father has no real part in our lives even though he lives and eats with us evryday. if there is a situation where my brothers go out of control my father would escalate the problem, while he is trying to control it.

apart from the swearing they are not really trouble unless provoken. however i do fear they are in bad friendship crowds.

i do not know why i am writing this or what i expect from this post but i would just like to conclude by saying that i do dua and thank Allah tallah for my friend as he is my life. and i also pray my parents be happy but honestly i see them at the brink of divorce.

jazakallah for reading.

**Irfan's Wife** · 04-22-2007

Sister,your Imaan is being tested.The situation with your mother is a test,don't doubt Allah's love and mercy.He will help you, you should do dua, and sincerely put all your trust in Allah swt He will help you.Inshallah everything will be ok.I know right now it seems really hard but after every hardship comes ease.And I will do dua for you and Inshallah your relationship with your mother will become better,Ameen.Please don't give up you have got to gain your strength from continuous prayer and dhikr.I hope that helps.

Sis are you ok?

**yigiter187** · 04-22-2007

think muhammad.(saw).he underwent so many pressures but remember that he didnt accepted so many rıchnesses offered by nonmuslims because he wanted the happiness of akhirah.. ı went to my uncles grave today and ı thought that ıt is worth doing everything for happines of akhirah...at one side :temporaray happinesse or sorrows of an average 60 years...on the other side life of ınfınıte happiness....

**'Abd al-Baari** · 04-22-2007

May Allah make it easy for you...Ameen

Don't give up your hope in Allah sis..do Dua

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 04-22-2007

ukhtee theres many such examples of the great companions of the prophet saws, theres even examples from the prophets. inshaAllah listening to them will strengthen you greatly.

Theres one sahabi whos mother always use to insult the prophet saws, this use to hurt the sahabi so much till one day he ran to the prophet saws in tears and asked him to supplicate Allah to guide his mother. The prophet saws did so and this resulted in the sahabi's mother coming to islam.

Alhamdulillah

theres the example of ibrahim AS, whos father was staunch against him, but ibrahim AS even then said to him " i will pray for your guidance", the father went far enough to throw him into the fire, a fire so big they had to cattapult him in to escape the heat.

sister theres many examples and all i can say is that the most pleasure and happiness you can find is in the obediance of Allah swt. Everyone gets tested, once a man came up to the prophet saws and attested his love for him to which the prophet saws replied that tests will befall him one after the other like a gushing river.

Sister inshaAllah i pray you attain jannatul firdaus, you mother might convert one day inshaAllah.

keep trying inshaAllah.

**- Qatada -** · 04-22-2007

May Allaah ease your affairs sister.

Your situation reminds me of a similar situation that a companion of the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) went through:

Companion: Sa'ad ibn Abi Waqas:

While the Prophet was delighted with Sad's acceptance of Islam, others including and especially his mother were not. Sad relates: "When my mother heard the news of my Islam, she flew into a rage. She came up to me and said:

"O Sad! What is this religion that you have embraced which has taken you away from the religion of your mother and father...? By God, either you forsake your new religion or I would not eat or drink until I die. Your heart would be broken with grief for me and remorse would consume you on account of the deed which you have done and people would censure you forever more.'

'Don't do (such a thing), my mother,' I said, 'for I would not give up my religion for anything.'

However, she went on with her threat... For days she neither ate nor drank. She became emaciated and weak. Hour after hour, I went to her asking whether I should bring her some food or something to drink but she persistently refused, insisting that she would neither eat nor drink until she died or I abandoned my religion. I said to her:

'Yaa Ummaah! In spite of my strong love for you, my love for God and His Messenger is indeed stronger. By God, if you had a thousand souls and one soul after another were to depart, I would not abandon this my religion for anything.' When she saw that I was determined she relented unwillingly and ate and drank."

It was concerning Sad's relationship with his mother and her attempt to force him to recant his faith that the words of the Quran were revealed: "And we enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In pain upon pain did his mother bear him and his weaning took two years. So show gratitude to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destiny.

"But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. Yet bear them company in this life with justice and consideration and follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the end, the return of you all is to Me and I shall tell you (the truth and meaning of) all that you used to do."

(Surah Luqman, 31: 14-15).

More...

Don't give up on your Islaam, remember that you are being tested, and other believers are also being tested in different ways. Also know that Allaah never overburdens a soul with what it can't bear, so anything which is happening to you right now is something that you can be patient with.

Remember that Allaah is on your side, and He tests those whom He loves - so don't despair of Allaah's Mercy, Reward and Victory. However, know that this can only come through patience and by placing one's trust in Allaah.

A famous scholar said that you should be like a bird, the love of Allaah is the heart (which keeps you living), and the other two wings are the wings of hope and fear. The hope that you can get Allaah's reward and the concept of fear - so you don't transgress the boundaries set by Allaah. If one was to outweigh the other - the bird would fall, so if you are in a state of fear right now, balance it out with placing your hope and trust in Allaah.

We will continue praying for you, and remember to stay constant in your prayers. Praying is better than not praying at all. And surely after hardship Allaah will grant ease, just know that this is a test from Allaah to strengthen you in faith, and you realise how precious Islaam really is to you because sacrificing shows onces dedication and sincerety to Allaah. If someone doesn't even sacrifice for Allaah, then they really have to question their faith right? And the praise is for Allaah that you are showing that sincerety through what you are facing right now, since we know that Hellfire is surrounded by evil lusts and desires, whereas Paradise is surrounded by hardship and disliked things.

I hope and pray to Allaah to keep you steadfast, and to stay constant in your obedience to Allaah. Allaah provides a way out for those who keep their duty to Him from ways they never expected. And without a doubt He grants ease after hardship.