:cryin....

format_quote Originally Posted by Gangster No.1

So after all, you are ganna get married 2 a geza who has done this, does he evene Love you? does he evEn REALLy want 2 get married? and does he REALLY want 2 get married 2 U or your MATE?

has his parents forced him 2 get married 2 u, now that all this arguemnet has started between you, your mate and your wanna b husband?


seriously i thnk you shud carefully consider what is right and what isnt. becuz if you do nd up marrying him, ater a few months are gone both of you are ganna fink was i really 2 marry him/her!

if he wants 2 b with your mate more than you, and loves her and she loves him then let them be together, however if he loves you and you love him and then thats diffrent.

talk 2 him, politley ask him want he wants truelly, ask yourself want you want truelly, can you send your life with him for ever, forgetting the past, does he care bout you, why wud he do this in thefirst place!

wotver you decide 2 do, dont ruin yourself, and ruin others with you,

becus, YOUR in control, and i fink parents sumtyms dont understand the situatation as much as the person. this is your life! be careful, be wise, pray 2 allah, ask 4 help, ask for support, ask for the best. Inshlah good will come, even if you are 2 marry him/not.

iF I SAID AANYTHING GOOD, MAY ALLAH REAWRD ME AAND THE UMMAH, IF I SAID ANYTHING BAD, PLEASE FORGIV ME, UN-INTENSIONALL.

No I didnot say I will marry him..I'm still thinking about it...and I cannot talk to him for the time being, he will influence my decision and I want to make it my own without any persuasion from him..yes he has spoken the truth...he was the one who wanted to get married in the first place and I agreed at that point in time because for us it would be the sensible thing to do if you know what I mean? (I didn't want to keep him as a boyfriend) He is the one who said he wants to marry me, not my mate and he made that decision I had nothing to do with it. Plus your right parents cannot understand the situation as the person, and the only way they think this can be solved is by marriage

format_quote Originally Posted by Gangster No.1

Does he STILL want get married tho, before the fact that your parents went over to his house.

O.K he asked you 2 marry him, ryt, then you thought yes, but then did he go 2 ya mate and start 2 deal with ther? is that the issue, if so dont get married 2 him. Wo know if he will do it agin, only allah knows best.

rememebr 2 make a decision that you will not regret later on in life.
Its easier 2 marry sum1 else, be patient, inshlah you'll find sum1 more appropraite, women try and look for the best when there the worst themselves, lol.

not talking bout you, but be patient, and be steady, giv it 2/3 weeks before you make you final decision, becus once you married, evrything will change!

for the better/worse

Yes he does even before that, he was actually gonna come to my house but my parents got there first...my mate wanted to get married to him and he went along with it and then he wanted to marry me while still engaged to her

format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester

I though he was the one for me....we had so much planned and we were gonna get married...but how could he do this to me?!
He said he loves me...and I told him let's get married...then I found out he's engaged to someone else...and guess what he loves her as well...and she is my friend (was my friend ) I heard everything he said about me behind my back..calling me a ***** when I never even done anything I swear Allah is my witness I never let him touched me and we never dated, and he wasn't my boy friend, we were not like that...we chose to follow the rules and do this properly...what am I sayin? there is no we nomore!!!
and I love him with all my heart I swear on my mother's life and he let me down when I needed him the most..and yes I'm trying to get over it...it is the only thing I can do but I swear if I come across him..he will pay....I mean when he found out I knew...he stopped contacting me...never returned my texts or emails, or pick up when I called him...never even said sorry for how things have turned out...and my ex-friend said that she didn't know anything about me and him...and he told her that we had nothing going...he just saw me around it was 'asalaam alaykum', 'waalaykum salaam'...OH ...yes yes I am really pissed off sorry for swearing on here..he broke my heart...and this quietness is killing me...I have decided..i'm going round his house..I don't care if his parents are there or not...I WONT LEAVE UNTIL I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR!!!

Assalamu Alaikum,

Im sorry to hear what you have been going through, im kind of in the same boat myself.

People will give you alot of suggestions and steps to take in order to help you overcome your hardship, maasha Allah.

I would say that maybe it would make it easy for you to just accept everything that is happening to you, have a mentality like oh you want to do this to me? ok, oh you want to do that to me? ok, dont reflect emotionally and dont link your emotions to your head, just accept it, just accept it

I hope it helps, JazakAllah.

format_quote Originally Posted by Hamas

Assalamu Alaikum,

Im sorry to hear what you have been going through, im kind of in the same boat myself.

People will give you alot of suggestions and steps to take in order to help you overcome your hardship, maasha Allah.

I would say that maybe it would make it easy for you to just accept everything that is happening to you, have a mentality like oh you want to do this to me? ok, oh you want to do that to me? ok, dont reflect emotionally and dont link your emotions to your head, just accept it, just accept it

I hope it helps, JazakAllah.

Easier said than done!!! :grumbling

okay my parents talked to me and well they said it is my decision if i want to marry him or not so...
I spoke to my friend...she says that she has broken the engagement
just for me...
and she is not upset at all, she says that there plenty of fish in the sea
and this one is mine (as in me not her)
I can't believe she's done that....for me
It seems to be a big sacrifice...and she has shown to be a very honorable friend, may Allah give her the best in life ameen*

sis, I think we have give u a lot of advises, I don't know why is this discussion being continued? what do u want us to say? "marry him" ??? I don't think any thing is needed more to be said, you parents gave u the choice, your friend broke the engangment with him, now it's up to you. How you make the decision we don't know, we don't know you, we don't know him, so we can't say marry or don't marry him. You have the chriterias from Islam for a good husband, now the choice is up to you to judge wether he suits u or not, or wether he is a good man or not.

please read this if u have time, i think it's a good article.
http://www.soundvision.com/info/Islam/mar.6adab.asp

format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester

Easier said than done!!! :grumbling

Assalamu Alaikum,

The sister is going through a rough time and is probably like oh what should i do? where could i go? who do i tell? if nothing happens in her favour regarding her situation then she will have to realise that all she can do in the end is accept everything.

Oh sure its easier said than done but trust me, ive not only just said it but have also done it. If she wants to feel at ease, it will come in to play straight after she accepts what is happening to her.

Let me talk to you directly sister, its not really all that hard to accept something, if your looking for explanations or exscuses inorder to justify things then stop and rather stop yourself from being affected. Feel yourself accepting your misfortune and i promise you will feel better, the balance will be very delicate and you can easily fall back into your previous mental state but the more you go on with your acceptance the easier it will get and the stronger you will become inshaAllah.

Assalamu Alaikum.

format_quote Originally Posted by Hamas

Assalamu Alaikum,

The sister is going through a rough time and is probably like oh what should i do? where could i go? who do i tell? if nothing happens in her favour regarding her situation then she will have to realise that all she can do in the end is accept everything.

Oh sure its easier said than done but trust me, ive not only just said it but have also done it. If she wants to feel at ease, it will come in to play straight after she accepts what is happening to her.

Let me talk to you directly sister, its not really all that hard to accept something, if your looking for explanations or exscuses inorder to justify things then stop and rather stop yourself from being affected. Feel yourself accepting your misfortune and i promise you will feel better, the balance will be very delicate and you can easily fall back into your previous mental state but the more you go on with your acceptance the easier it will get and the stronger you will become inshaAllah.

Assalamu Alaikum.

huh okay

format_quote Originally Posted by Hamas

Edit: Please refrain from throwing insults, they are counterproductive, especially in cyber counceling where people come looking for help. This is the second post I see of you like this, third will raise your warning level. Selam aleykum

are you talkin 2 me???:rolleyes:

I don't know what more is needed to be said?? ppl already gave their advices. We don't solve things, which just give advices a little bit to direct you the best way.

format_quote Originally Posted by vpb

I don't know what more is needed to be said?? ppl already gave their advices. We don't solve things, which just give advices a little bit to direct you the best way.

I think that is enough...thank you for all your advice