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**Your Advice - Self Harm**

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    Exclamation **Your Advice - Self Harm** (OP)




    I posted a thread a couple of days ago about Self Harming, which can be found here. (http://www.islamicboard.com/general-...ut-yes-no.html)

    The results were a bit higher than I expected, so I decided to create a thread in whicih people can give advice to brothers and sisters on:
    • How to stop self harming
    • The short/long term effects of self harming
    • And anything else people find relevant to give advice on.


    Jazaak Allaah Khayr in advance

    P.S. I posted in the Member Support thread, and brothers and sisters can give advice via the Anonymous Account if they need to

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    Hamas's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

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    "No one's disputing that Allah places on a person more than his share of burdens. I agree that we wrong ourselves, Allah doesn't. Nevertheless depression isn't simply a case of feeling sorry for oneself. So telling people to 'snap out of it' is just ignorance. I suggest you and others who cannot understand this mental health disorder take a look at the link below."

    I not ignorant, ive been through depression myself, i go through mental disorders everyday, maybe more than you, ones that you cannot even imagine but nothing justifies harming yourself and cutting yourself up, thats just pathetic, thanks for the link but i dont need it.

    JazakAllah
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamas View Post
    I not ignorant, ive been through depression myself, i go through mental disorders everyday, maybe more than you, ones that you cannot even imagine but nothing justifies harming yourself and cutting yourself up, thats just pathetic, thanks for the link but i dont need it.

    JazakAllah
    Forigve me for misunderstanding. It seemed you were talking about depression - not self-harm. But even then, u can't judge as you are not in anyone else's shoes. How about asking Allah to help ur brothers and sisters instead?
    **Your Advice - Self Harm**

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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    Forigve me for misunderstanding. It seemed you were talking about depression - not self-harm. But even then, u can't judge as you are not in anyone else's shoes. How about asking Allah to help ur brothers and sisters instead?
    Im talking about both and who said anything about judging? i dont want to big myself up but i always remember my fellow brothers and sisters in my prayers inshaAllah, how about you ask Allah to help you in your depression and others in your position?

    JazakAllah
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamas View Post
    Im talking about both and who said anything about judging? i dont want to big myself up but i always remember my fellow brothers and sisters in my prayers inshaAllah, how about you ask Allah to help you in your depression and others in your position?

    JazakAllah

    lol, how do you know I don't?

    neway this thread isn't arguing about such things, it's for advice - so as I've already given what advice I had, I'm out.
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    lol, how do you know I don't?

    neway this thread isn't arguing about such things, it's for advice - so as I've already given what advice I had, I'm out.
    How do you know i dont what you thought i didnt?

    Ive also given my advice, im out too

    JazakAllah
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    It's not a simple as you think. Depression may not be due to present circumstances, but could be a result of things that have happened in the past. You might say then get counselling and deal with the past. Yet counselling/drugs don't help everyone. Nobody likes to be depressed and it makes it worse when people don't understand it and tell you to 'just get on with it'. Nobody tells a cancer patient to do that. Then why tell a depressed person to that just because their illness can't be seen or understood. Believe it or not depression is an illness.
    Heh a bit of a misunderstanding there I think, I do believe depression is a real illness, and I'd be darn sure to say you got a cruddy counselor if he just tells you to "get on with your life". Hell yeah you can get depressed from both past and present experiences. All in agreement there.

    I guess it came off as a frivolent and ignorant answer. What I meant was, the basic solution to depression is identifying what you are depressed about and change (yourself, or your circumstances, or both) in a way that makes sense to you. Now, that may seem rather "duh", but the identification of the depression and the change that has to happen are the hard parts; it involves concessions on your own part towards yourself as well as to whoever may be tied to the depression, and humans hate to do that kind of stuff because that's one of the most painful things to do.

    They don't call it "swallowing a camel" because it tastes bad, it's because it's so darn hard to do.
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**




    Click links for more information


    There are a number of therapies offered both by the NHS and privately that have proved successful in reducing and stopping self harm

    * Cognitive behavioural therapy
    * Cognitive analytic therapy
    * Psychotherapy
    * Medication
    * Dialectical behavioural therapy
    * Interpersonal group therapy
    (The last two are for people with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder).
    - |Help for Self Harm


    - | Self-Injury: Types, Causes and Treatment


    - | Understanding Self Harm


    He offers parents tips on what to watch for:

    * Small, linear cuts. "The most typical cuts are very linear, straight line, often parallel like railroad ties carved into forearm, the upper arm, sometimes the legs," Rosen tells WebMD. "Some people cut words into themselves. If they're having body image issues, they may cut the word 'fat.' If they're having trouble at school, it may be 'stupid,' 'loser,' 'failure,' or a big 'L.' Those are the things we see pretty regularly."

    * Unexplained cuts and scratches, particularly when they appear regularly. "I wish I had a nickel for every time someone says, 'The cat did it,'" says Rosen.

    * Mood changes like depression or anxiety, out-of-control behavior, changes in relationships, communication, and school performance. Kids who are unable to manage day-to-day stresses of life are vulnerable to cutting, says Rosen.
    - | Cutting & Self-Harm: Warning Signs and Treatment
    Last edited by ------; 06-17-2008 at 10:48 AM.
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    u've hit the nail on the head. When your feelin so much emotional pain you don't see any other way out. No-one wants to cut them self for the sake of it, its just thats summat else to feel instead of the horrible heartache u are alwasy feeling.
    Those who harm themselves, know its wrong but when things are so bad, it feels as no other escape. feelings are bottled and inside and cos u just cant lash out at anyone else to get frustration out, it feel best to do it to yourself to feel the different pain, and u feel as that may help in some sort of way. Instead of feelin that one pain constantly, you feel a different pain.. a change..
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    i self harm and the reason i do it is because when something or sum1 hurts me and i cant take the hurt, wen i cut myself i feel as if i can hurt myself more than any1 else and that makes the emotional pain im feeling better
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**



    ^ It's not worth it...Wallaahi...
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    Re: **Your Advice - Self Harm**

    I think, for alot of us - it makes no sense why anyone would do it. In light of that, most of us really arn't qualify to give advice for somthing we have no understanding of.

    What would seem, the best people to seek advice from, is people who used to cut themselves and hear them out. Relate with them why they did it, why its wrong and how they stopped doing it. I think people are far more convinced by those who went through similar experiences rather than those who probably see them as "strange" crudely speaking.

    Myself, I cannot fathom how people end up cutting themselves - I myself have gone through hard times as sure many have - but I will not understand what results in people cutting themselves (why it relieves them) - So it really isn't my place to advice .

    I think if you look around the web, you can find people who got off it that can help you greatly.
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