Tough times...

I have an extremely complicated situation, so i will try to be brief...
I have found someone that i want to marry, but my family has made it extremely difficult for me...

We both believe that this is meant to be, we have both done Istikhara and we believe without doubt that, this is a good thing. But my brother and mother are making this really hard. They have no real reason to decline, but they are saying no because he is a bengali (we are pakistani..)
They are trying to use Islam against me, talking about things about respecting parents etc... i completely understand all that, but the parents should have a certain amount of respect/attitude to their children.

Rather than consulting Allah, through Istikhara (which is highly recommended by the Prophet (p.b.u.h)) they are becoming extreme in what they are saying and doing. My father doesn't know (as i am too scared to tell him, because i dont know how he may react (and for a girl, in my situation, she should talk to her sister, or any brothers she may be close to or her mum, because i am not that close to my dad, to talk to him directly))

My brother and mum are refusing to tell him. They believe we are going against Islam, when Subhan-Allah because of our fear and love for Allah, we havent even looked at each other without looking away quickly and feeling slightly ashamed. We have not comitted any sins, like some people would resort to in our situation, even thought we have been presented with the opportunity a few times.

We really believe that this is meant to happen. My family is being extremely awkward and backward in their thinking about this situation. My brother has even started to threaten him and me. He said he will take me out of college, he doesn't let me go anywhere anymore (i was a part of a writing group, which he doesnt let me go to anymore) he doesnt let me go to my friends, i dont have a social life! I wasnt allowed to have much of one before anyway... He has even threatened to kill him and me. And even gone as far as threatening HIS family!! He doesnt let me use the computer or internet anymore. And what he and my mum both say is that, i cant have as much freedom as before...cos i ruined it for myself by messing about!!!

Life is becoming hard to tolerate in my home, being kept a prisoner... but i am being as patient as i can and as i have been for over the past year (almost..) Our reasons for getting married are simple and understandable... nikah is half of Iman. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) has said that, those who can afford to get married should do so but those who do not are not from among him (i take this pretty seriously) It helps prevent sin in the future, it preserves your chastity and it is the halal way to control ur nafs...

Also my brother has been known to have done some dodgy stuff before, but now he says that he is more God-fearing (i mean...how can he know that, only Allah does...) he says he has more knowledge than us (he may do, but wats the point if u cant put it into practise!! and u go against it urself!!) These things make me so angry, but i have faith in Allah, he will protect us..

But now i believe i have no other choice but to move away/out to get married, but we are having problems finding an imam...

Sorry i sed i was going to keep it short...so i'll stop here...unfortunately the situation isn't this simple. I would be grateful if anyone had any advice for me...