Regarding the rights of another

**anonymous** · 12-23-2007

A couple of years back, I can say I was not completely unaware or ignorant of the rights of another but I took away the rights of someone who trusted me at their worst. An older sibling confided in me so that she can release her pain and believed that I would advise her. As far as I recall she never asked me to keep this a secret but expected this from me anyway, I cant believe how naive and stupid I was but I shared her problems with others that she knew.

At first it was because I felt over burdened by her problem, I felt I needed to seek advice of another so I told another sister who is older and wiser than me and I believed would be able to help. She couldnt help me advise my sister but I felt better I had shared this with her. At that point I felt no guilt.(How wrong I was)

Months passed and in conversation I also told a couple of my friends, when there was absolutely no reason to tell them except for the sake of conversation. And I guess by revealing her sins I almost felt slightly proud that I hadnt fallen into such a trap...(How wrong I was)

Still living through this situation my sister was going through I talked to her and grew closer to her and then I slowly developed hate against her for being naive and falling in such a trap for causing pain to herself and to others. (How wrong I was).

When the situation settled I was able to talk to her properly again and she shared how she was so glad she had me when she was at the her lowest so this secret was not exposed to anyone (she told no one not even her friends). She told me about how much she valued self respect and how she yearned and rightfully earned the respect of others.

This is the point when it hit me, I have dont something so wrong. I have taken away the respect others will have for her by revealing her sins, I have taken away her right to be respected as a person. I feel drowned with guilt and I cry at my stupidity. I have been so foolish! I dont have it in me to tell her what Ive done, I know she will never forgive me. What can I do?

Sometimes I want to go back to these people and tell them I lied to them, for she obviously treasures her worth in others eyes more than I did... I cant live with myself for doing this. What can I do

**Umm Hurairah** · 12-24-2007

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

I think you should tell your sister what happened before she hears it from another person. If she hears it from one of her friends or something, it would most likely create a lot of problems within the family. If you tell your sister, also mention that you won't ever ever ever tell anyone what she tells you so that she realizes that you understand what you did was wrong and that you are extremely sorry for it.

Or you could tell your mother everything and she will know what to do Insha Allah.

OR you could got to an alimah or another learned elder and without revealing the secret, ask for her advice.

**anonymous** · 12-24-2007

Thanx for ur reply.

I am quite confident she would hear it from someone else. But is there any other way without having to tell her. Asking anyone without giving away details is not an option.

**Umm Hurairah** · 12-25-2007

Originally Posted by anonymous

Thanx for ur reply.

I am quite confident she would hear it from someone else. But is there any other way without having to tell her. Asking anyone without giving away details is not an option.

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

I don't think there is any other way...you should tell your mother or an alimah Insha Allah.

Since your sister is older than you, she should probably understand what you're going through? It might take a while for her to understand and get over it but Insha Allah in the end at least you won't feel as guilty.

People learn from their mistakes, that's just how humans are.