Salaam firstl to brothers and sisters. Inshallah you all are in good health. Apologies for any mistakes..
I need advice to a dead end problem. I am sure most of you have heard the whole culture v islam problems and how some parents chose to present islam when it suits them and make it out like culture is islam.
In my family its always 'what people will say' and about 'what people think' but when it comes to things like islam my mums like 'its haram to marry who you want' cos culture says it but she makes it out like its islam and knows very well that i know and she knows but its a hint.
Its not just about marriage its about simple petty things which i dont really want to go in to. My mum is aggressive and never talks calmly or nicely. She swears at me for no reason and insults me. I try not to take it to heart as she is my mother. Everyone says talk to her about it but that never works she says im using islam to get my way.
I feel sorry for other people like me who are younger cos islam isnt presented correctly to them they get a different idea due to culture. Im doing what I can for Allah and Allah know best, its not for 'people'
We HaVe OnE LiFe; iT SoOn wiLL Be PaSt; WhaT wE dO FoR ALLAH iS aLL ThaT wiLL LasT
I feel sorry for other people like me who are younger cos islam isnt presented correctly to them they get a different idea due to culture. Im doing what I can for Allah and Allah know best, its not for 'people'
Which is why you must try to gain Islamic knowledge from as many places as possible.
I think this topic is very important especially with the young now waking up to islam and realising that what they had been fed by family and relatives is not the true islam which was at the time of the noble sahaba may Allah be pleased with them.
To go thru all the points would take a long time and cant be paraphrased into a few sentences, however what we can do is to make bring up the awarness of culture and islam.
As a citizen of the west one of the things that ive noticed over the years is the fact that as the muslims r becoming more and more aware of islam theyare being chained by customs which arent really going hand in hand with islam . This is good in a way coz awareness is the first step towards the goal, but on the other hand when islam is presented in the complicated forms of customs it infact deters our young muslim community from seeing the true beauty of the Deen of Allah and inturn makes islam seem as a burden!
Another point i wish to mention is that now the third generation of muslims are coming in society and are in a tug of war on oneside is the slow outdated culture which is kept alive thanks to relatives and on the other is the fast moving lifestyle of the west!! so what does this confused muslim do?
unfortunatly hes forced by the demanding society to chose the second side and leave the culture ( what he was made to believe was islam).
If hes lucky he realises and is born back into islam otherwise he takes the second path and never looks back at his religion inna lillah..
Now its upto us to show the west the beauty of islam and to exploit the poisonous cultures which conflict with it.
I think this topic is very important especially with the young now waking up to islam and realising that what they had been fed by family and relatives is not the true islam which was at the time of the noble sahaba may Allah be pleased with them.
To go thru all the points would take a long time and cant be paraphrased into a few sentences, however what we can do is to make bring up the awarness of culture and islam.
As a citizen of the west one of the things that ive noticed over the years is the fact that as the muslims r becoming more and more aware of islam theyare being chained by customs which arent really going hand in hand with islam . This is good in a way coz awareness is the first step towards the goal, but on the other hand when islam is presented in the complicated forms of customs it infact deters our young muslim community from seeing the true beauty of the Deen of Allah and inturn makes islam seem as a burden!
Another point i wish to mention is that now the third generation of muslims are coming in society and are in a tug of war on oneside is the slow outdated culture which is kept alive thanks to relatives and on the other is the fast moving lifestyle of the west!! so what does this confused muslim do?
unfortunatly hes forced by the demanding society to chose the second side and leave the culture ( what he was made to believe was islam).
If hes lucky he realises and is born back into islam otherwise he takes the second path and never looks back at his religion inna lillah..
Now its upto us to show the west the beauty of islam and to exploit the poisonous cultures which conflict with it.
Mashallah everything u said i agree with and its just so hard... Inshallah I will try my best
We HaVe OnE LiFe; iT SoOn wiLL Be PaSt; WhaT wE dO FoR ALLAH iS aLL ThaT wiLL LasT
yes i do agree with all the statements above,
there is alot of cultural influence, i believe also especially for people in the east as i believe one key difference between westerners and easterners are our rights for education and knowledge and freedom of will, both affecting our way of life. With this then we can come to a conclusion on why your mother may believe marrying who you want as haram because of the lack of understanding this is all just a cultural say from your country in which is hard to succumb for you and your mother because your culture is who you are and your way of life.
Tradition & culture is a whole different meaning from what your religion is and how it reflects on your way of life and in which in addition i may ask my brothers and sister, where in the holy Quran does it state that it would be haram to marry a man that your father and mother hasnt picked for you?
Either way, Insallah your mother shall come to realise and do whats best for you.
salaam, here's an interesing discussion on "the deen show" by Yasir qadhi. It deals specificly with this topic. Culture vs. Islam - Bid'ah - Yasir Qadhi - The Deen Show. I found it interesting check it out.
sister i can see its hard 4 u to deal with ur mum ... once i heard from a sheikh our mum and dad we cant do nothing with them only but make dua 4 them thats the only way if u want them to change ..... and subhanallah ma dad was most of times nervous but we used to make dua 4 him alhamdlilah he is much better now .... so keep making dua 4 her isa ..... Allah ll make it easy 4 us all ameeen
Islam is a religion coming from the root word salama or "peace" in arabic. A Muslim is someone who submits oneself to the religion of peace or Islam. As a Muslim, I often come across many who do not grasp the importance of recognizing that Islam and culture are two seperate things. For example, I am often asked, "Where are you from?" by those I meet for the first time. When I answer that I am from Maryland (born and raised here my whole life) the questioner will often raise his or her eyebrows in disbelief and persist in asking, "Where are you really from?" Having said this, while I am half Arab, Arabs only make up 25 percent of the Muslim world. In fact Indonesia has the largest population of Muslims and India has the second largest. Nonetheless, having been born and raised here, I consider myself to be part and parcel of the American culture and lifestyle. Although Islam may set Muslims apart from other Americans in the U.S. there is no denying that Muslim Americans are and have been a part of this culture for hundreds of years.
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I feel sorry for other people like me who are younger cos islam isnt presented correctly to them they get a different idea due to culture. Im doing what I can for Allah and Allah know best, its not for 'people'
the amount of times ive heard that one.
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