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View Full Version : BadBoys VS I work in my Dads rich Business Boy



AnonymousPoster
10-27-2008, 12:36 PM
:sl:

I am attracted only to people who have had some interesting pasts. You know, Someone who has an edge. Not some person who works in his fathers business who never experienced how to be in the real world. Only lives on daily hand outs. I know some sisters find this important, for security etc. I dont. Maybe I am immature, but I find the guys in suits very off putting with their bling bling watch. My dad got me this 30k car and all that, that does not make my heart beat any faster. We have homes in the maldives and Singapore, so what?!

I am not attracted to the rich. I want a Badboy whos not afraid to make a fool out of himself...Someone whos been there and done it. Someone whos not afraid to help and get his hands dirty, Character. A man who can beat people up who mess with him, not one who calls his bodyguards.

Unfortunately, I have a richguy in my throat situation and My family are loving it! There is no mental connection, no chemistry. I dont care about the size of his wallet, if he can't even move my heart.

Rant over....
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Mikayeel
10-27-2008, 02:53 PM
WaAlykumAlsalaamWarahMatAllah


Sister, what is that u want advice with? I can't really make it up from the text above.
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buddy1
10-27-2008, 02:58 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:

I am attracted only to people who have had some interesting pasts. You know, Someone who has an edge. Not some person who works in his fathers business who never experienced how to be in the real world. Only lives on daily hand outs. I know some sisters find this important, for security etc. I dont. Maybe I am immature, but I find the guys in suits very off putting with their bling bling watch. My dad got me this 30k car and all that, that does not make my heart beat any faster. We have homes in the maldives and Singapore, so what?!

I am not attracted to the rich. I want a Badboy whos not afraid to make a fool out of himself...Someone whos been there and done it. Someone whos not afraid to help and get his hands dirty, Character. A man who can beat people up who mess with him, not one who calls his bodyguards.

Unfortunately, I have a richguy in my throat situation and My family are loving it! There is no mental connection, no chemistry. I dont care about the size of his wallet, if he can't even move my heart.

Rant over....
Im exactly the same, but...... i have a nice guy, who loves me dearly, worships the ground i walk on and is more worried about my feelings in any situation but he has a good financial background.

win win situation I have!!

I thinkyou should try to bring the bad boy out in your husband, have some fun and try and connect with each other, all men have a rough edge, well most!

perhaps he thinks the same about you, you sound like yur both in the same situation, try getting to know each other better and you might both surpirse yourselves!!! :D
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IbnAbdulHakim
10-27-2008, 02:59 PM
i get where your coming from

you want someone courageous, who speaks out and is gutsy (so to speak)


tell your parents/sisters/friends who ever can help you out, coz we sure cant ;D


just make sure this bro is a good muslim though :)
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buddy1
10-27-2008, 03:01 PM
I will try and help you!! men are no good in men problems!! GIRLS ALL THE WAY!!

I will be your honary sister if you like, MZ is my honary gramp so you cant ask grandparents about boy probs!!! :D ha ha ha ha!!
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AnonymousPoster
10-27-2008, 05:29 PM
Originally Posted by Mikayeel
WaAlykumAlsalaamWarahMatAllah


Sister, what is that u want advice with? I can't really make it up from the text above.
Sorry if my post weird, i wrote it too fast maybe. I wanted to vent? -*-. Ok sure, ignore everything and delete this thread if you think that it has no purpose pls thanks. jazakalahkhayr.
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AnonymousPoster
10-27-2008, 05:32 PM
Originally Posted by buddy1
Im exactly the same, but...... i have a nice guy, who loves me dearly, worships the ground i walk on and is more worried about my feelings in any situation but he has a good financial background.

win win situation I have!!

I thinkyou should try to bring the bad boy out in your husband, have some fun and try and connect with each other, all men have a rough edge, well most!

perhaps he thinks the same about you, you sound like yur both in the same situation, try getting to know each other better and you might both surpirse yourselves!!! :D
He's not my husband ..
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Snowflake
10-27-2008, 11:29 PM
I am not attracted to the rich. I want a Badboy whos not afraid to make a fool out of himself...Someone whos been there and done it. Someone whos not afraid to help and get his hands dirty, Character. A man who can beat people up who mess with him, not one who calls his bodyguards.

Unfortunately, I have a richguy in my throat situation and My family are loving it! There is no mental connection, no chemistry. I dont care about the size of his wallet, if he can't even move my heart.
Sorry sis, im a bit slow at getting the full drift. When you say 'badboy', do you mean someone with a criminal record etc? :-[

Oh hang on! you mean at least as rough as that anyway, since you say you want a man who can beat people up! Why would you want a man who beats people up? Money or no money, a real man is one who controls his temper and is not aggressive. That's harder to do than to lose it. What if you end up on the wrong side of him sis? Please give it deep thought and ask yourself if you'd really feel comfortable having children with a man who loses his rag at the drop of a hat and probably ends up with a conviction in the process? How would he be a good role model to your children?

The Prophet (saw) and his companions (may Allah be pleased with them) are the best examples of bravery and manliness. Yet at the same time they feared Allah and did not transgress the limits set by Him. They are the ones who truly feared none but Allah. But they did not go round knocking the stuffing out of ppl who 'messed' with them. Those are the characteristics you should look for in a man. Strong and just (and pious). Then you really could have the best of both worlds.
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Zahida
10-28-2008, 09:56 AM
:sl: This is the only post from all the others that makes sense...... We should be grateful forwhat we have. Why are you wanting too change it??????? People would be happy to have what you have a "badboy"???????? Do you want to ruin your life.... Well done Scents of Jannah, again you have excelled in the way you have spoken!!!:w::thumbs_up
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Sorry sis, im a bit slow at getting the full drift. When you say 'badboy', do you mean someone with a criminal record etc? :-[

Oh hang on! you mean at least as rough as that anyway, since you say you want a man who can beat people up! Why would you want a man who beats people up? Money or no money, a real man is one who controls his temper and is not aggressive. That's harder to do than to lose it. What if you end up on the wrong side of him sis? Please give it deep thought and ask yourself if you'd really feel comfortable having children with a man who loses his rag at the drop of a hat and probably ends up with a conviction in the process? How would he be a good role model to your children?

The Prophet (saw) and his companions (may Allah be pleased with them) are the best examples of bravery and manliness. Yet at the same time they feared Allah and did not transgress the limits set by Him. They are the ones who truly feared none but Allah. But they did not go round knocking the stuffing out of ppl who 'messed' with them. Those are the characteristics you should look for in a man. Strong and just (and pious). Then you really could have the best of both worlds.
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Sabbir_1
10-28-2008, 10:49 AM
Weird
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Cabdullahi
10-28-2008, 10:59 AM
Originally Posted by buddy1
Im exactly the same, but...... i have a nice guy, who loves me dearly, worships the ground i walk on and is more worried about my feelings in any situation but he has a good financial background.

win win situation I have!!

I thinkyou should try to bring the bad boy out in your husband, have some fun and try and connect with each other, all men have a rough edge, well most!

perhaps he thinks the same about you, you sound like yur both in the same situation, try getting to know each other better and you might both surpirse yourselves!!! :D
^

sister worship is only for allah and no one else...not you ...not buddy love.... no one!!
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buddy1
10-28-2008, 11:45 AM
Im sorry, I did put my foot in that there didnt i?

My apologies if I have offended anyone, its just a figure of speech and I didnt mean anything by it.

Sorry! :(
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buddy1
10-28-2008, 11:51 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
He's not my husband ..
You can still try to bring him out of his shell!?
Reply

AnonymousPoster
10-28-2008, 01:52 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Sorry sis, im a bit slow at getting the full drift. When you say 'badboy', do you mean someone with a criminal record etc? :-[

Oh hang on! you mean at least as rough as that anyway, since you say you want a man who can beat people up! Why would you want a man who beats people up? Money or no money, a real man is one who controls his temper and is not aggressive. That's harder to do than to lose it. What if you end up on the wrong side of him sis? Please give it deep thought and ask yourself if you'd really feel comfortable having children with a man who loses his rag at the drop of a hat and probably ends up with a conviction in the process? How would he be a good role model to your children?

The Prophet (saw) and his companions (may Allah be pleased with them) are the best examples of bravery and manliness. Yet at the same time they feared Allah and did not transgress the limits set by Him. They are the ones who truly feared none but Allah. But they did not go round knocking the stuffing out of ppl who 'messed' with them. Those are the characteristics you should look for in a man. Strong and just (and pious). Then you really could have the best of both worlds.
Thanks sis. I didnt mean that kind of a bad boy. I meant someone like Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (ra) in character but who has the mercy of Abu bakr (ra).
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Nawal89
10-28-2008, 02:06 PM
I also dont like men who don't know anything about real life and are spoonfed by their daddies all their lives.

But then, not all rich boys are like that. I'll give you an example of someone I know so well.
His dad runs a big company, making millions a year, but he refuses to work in it. He opens his own company which rivals his dad. But after a while I guess he got tired of working and wanted something better and went to study deen. He came back, without a job. He left his company in good but not smart hands and it went down. so he went to work with his dad. He took his dads company to a whooole new level. Simply because he was smart and daring and knew how to work hard and take risks.


Now thats the kind of rich bad guy I like :p

And people dont' get worked up. Shes just mentioning the type of guy she wishes she had.
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Ushae
10-28-2008, 06:19 PM
Sorry I don't mean to offend .. but what is the point of this thread ?! You're not exactly asking for advise and simply stating you want a 'bad boy' for a husband. I personally don't like either of the choices you presented above. They both sound spoilt lol.

Good for you :D! Want my opinion on 'bad boys' ? Here goes..

They have no respect for themselves or the women they 'charm'. Yes respect. There's a stark difference between true respect/honour and 'gangster' respect. Here's what I think respect is..

1. Helping your elders, loving your parents regardless of who they are, whenever they need you.
2. Politeness, etiquettes, manners around your relatives and friends.
3. Working hard at your job, no matter what work you do.
4. Being able to take humiliation, defeat and get back up on your feet. Knowing when you've made a mistake and admitting it.
5. Sacrificing for your family and friends.

This is what respect isn't..

1. Being a thug and beating up people, to look 'hard'.
2. Being rude, unwelcoming and abrasive to people from other cultures .i.e. 'non-muslim ppl'.
3. Ignorance, arrogance, stupidity. Not knowing when your wrong.
4. Selfish behaviour. Unwillingness to sacrifice for others.

Bad boy's come and go everyday, REAL gentlemen/ladies don't. I guess you're going through a phase. Hell, even I went through a phase where I wanted a 'hot' wife, how wrong was I lol...

Please omit if you didn't mean 'gangster' type badboys lol, I think I misread your post :O
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Ansariyah
10-28-2008, 06:46 PM
^The sista obviously clarified wat she meant wit "badboy". She didnt say anything of that sort?

A man who can beat people up who mess with him, not one who calls his bodyguards.
I think wit that she means, like: Someone who can stand up for his woman, fearless when need be? Not somene who randomly beats people up lol...duhh!

Sista dont feel pressured to marry anybody that ur not ready to marry. MashaAllah at the example u gave of umar * abu bakr. Nice combination! May Allah bless you wit wt u desire ameen.

I also dont like men who don't know anything about real life and are spoonfed by their daddies all their lives.
nicely put sis.
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Snowflake
10-28-2008, 11:54 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Thanks sis. I didnt mean that kind of a bad boy. I meant someone like Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (ra) in character but who has the mercy of Abu bakr (ra).
Alhumdulillah for that!

Im relieved. But you arent being forced sis. Neither can you be. I suggest getting a fave aunt/mum's friend to intervene and explain your views to your family. Honestly, I've observed parents paying more attention to what their 'friends' say than to their kids. And I figured it's because their friends/relatives are the sameish age and so they think they are wise like them.:rollseyes And they think their kids are too immature to know whats good for them so they dont listen. Good luck.

May Allah grant you a hubby like you desire inshaAllah. Ameen.
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Güven
10-29-2008, 12:04 AM
Well good choice... MashaAllah

May Allah Grant you your happiness! Amiin

:w:
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S_87
10-29-2008, 12:42 AM
if thats what u want dont settle for less.. dont ruin ur life by marrying someone you dont like no matter how big his pockets are
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
10-29-2008, 01:00 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
I meant someone like Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (ra) in character but who has the mercy of Abu bakr (ra).
:sl:

Women don't give birth to men like Abu Bakr (ra) and Umar (ra) anymore. I mean you need to also ask yourself are you like a sahabiya with their kinds of qualities? If not, then brothers are not like the sahaba, nor anywhere close. Marry someone who's pious, who you're comfortable being with, someone who's compatible, you like, and don't marry anyone you don't like. What I'm saying is, set your standard high, but be careful not to place it impossibly high.
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AnonymousPoster
10-29-2008, 11:32 AM
Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad
:sl:

Women don't give birth to men like Abu Bakr (ra) and Umar (ra) anymore. I mean you need to also ask yourself are you like a sahabiya with their kinds of qualities? If not, then brothers are not like the sahaba, nor anywhere close. Marry someone who's pious, who you're comfortable being with, someone who's compatible, you like, and don't marry anyone you don't like. What I'm saying is, set your standard high, but be careful not to place it impossibly high.
Wow u make some depressing posts, is all I gotta say.

The rest was nice tho.
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AnonymousPoster
10-29-2008, 12:50 PM
hmm...
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Hamas
10-30-2008, 02:44 PM
Assalamu Alaikum :)

I think i know where your comming from sister but a brother wouldnt have to be a "badboy" to be in the "real world" you could also be a "goodboy" and everyone has their own conception of the two. Ideally a "goodboy" would have good manners and a "badboy" would have bad manners, a "goodboy" is calm wheras the "badboy" would be chaotic and you will find many differences between the two good and bad, I guess the point is whether your a "man" or not. Now a man is sophisticated, a man is responsible, a man does not burden another, a man knows his limits, knows when to stop, when to say yes and when to say no.

You dont just become a man by thinking your a man and if you feel your not a man? its not because you dont know how to be or even that you dont want to be, its because your behaving outside the character of a man, your actions deny you the classification of a man as they sever the means to becoming one.

I dont mean to offend anybody, everybody makes their own choices, everybody chooses the life they lead and the enviroment they want to dwell in, its another matter whether your successful in it or not. Just know that whatever path you choose whatever choices you make? Your standing, your judgment with God has got nothing to do with anybody but yourself.

If your confused brothers and sisters if your life is at a mystified stage dont fret! All you have to do is submit yourself to Islam because Islam will bring you to life Islam will bring you to reality Islam will take you towards the light.

I hope im not way off topic :-\

Assalamu Alaikum :)
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Khalil_Allah
11-03-2008, 05:44 AM
sister, i know what you are talking about.

i think it is biological.... men, when they are single, tend to be more competitive and aggressive, having noticeably higher levels of testosterone! The women are more attracted to these stronger ones. Then when they have kids, the kids will be with the stronger one and more likely to survive.

Hehe, but its hard to think how this translates into some girl getting excited over a "sleezy" guy.

methinks what you really desire is not a "badboy," but rather someone who excites you and makes you laugh... who brings something new to the table every day. In reality, every girl wants this. yeah the money and the shoes and the purses are nice, but they won't be lying next to you every night for the rest of your life. Oh if it were only some handsome man who understood how to make you smile with every word he said! Then his touch becomes so much more meaningful than anything else in dunya.

If this were the man you had, then you wouldn't be complaining huh? you wouldn't even care if you woke up next to him in a hammock over a dirt floor for the rest of your life would you?

No, you would care about that! its not the money, its the personality. Ditch this guy, if it's not right, and wait for Allah swt to bring you someone you deserve.
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noorseeker
11-03-2008, 08:41 PM
Girls love bad boys, that the way it is, thats if your into all that dating kind of thing.

I have actually heard girls say this, when a good guy comes along they dont wana know.
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Liberty
11-04-2008, 12:59 PM
Lol calling all badboys!! Report here now!! :P

hahahaha it's funny you should want a badboy.
Be careful what you wish for ;)
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Liberty
11-04-2008, 01:00 PM
Originally Posted by nightstar
Girls love bad boys, that the way it is,
Incorrect. Other girls, like yours truly looooves a nice boy who knows his place, is well mannered, kind, a good conversationalist and all things nice! :D
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Cabdullahi
11-04-2008, 01:02 PM
Originally Posted by nightstar
Girls love bad boys, that the way it is, thats if your into all that dating kind of thing.

I have actually heard girls say this, when a good guy comes along they dont wana know.
well....when bad boys come along girls are left heartbroke and that is a proven fact!
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Liberty
11-04-2008, 01:04 PM
I guess some chics love all the drama that comes with it?
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Sahabiyaat
11-04-2008, 01:28 PM
bad boys? i just want to live with some cats and some cans of peaches in syrup, is that too much to ask for :mmokay:
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Liberty
11-04-2008, 10:56 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
bad boys? i just want to live with some cats and some cans of peaches in syrup, is that too much to ask for :mmokay:
Oh where's your ambition?
lol cats..now now you can do better than that =D
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