Silences

I talk little (unless it's something that I have a strong opinion about... And those things are very few). This morning, at the bus stop, a random lady began talking to me... And all I could think about whilst smiling in a 'the-world-is-beautiful' way was the fact that she was a stranger and that she musn't initiate a conversation with me unless I feel the need to do so. Yes, I'm very... Selfish?

Anyway... I appreciate the silence between a stranger and myself. But whilst walking back after school, I was with a friend, and since I hardly initiate conversations, our journey consisted mostly of silence and her poor attempts at conversation. And, of course, it was uncomfortable. For me, who knew I made her uncomfortable... And her, who didn't appreciate the awkward silence. That made me wonder about the saying that a friend is someone with whom you sit in silence but feel like you've talked a lot. (Or something like that)

And my conclusion: it's bull.

My conclusion was based on several experiences with friends I've known for several years (10) and friends I known recently (2).

All I want is to find out if I'm right. Well, for majority of the people anyway.

Do I not make sense? Vote anyway.

NB: You may ignore the third option on the poll. It was another of my odd-number obsession thing. But of course, I kept the members hidden, just in case one of you might feel obliged to be honest and admit...

nani??

When i was young i was very quiet but now that i am older, i always have something to share with those who i have bonded with but if i dont know them then im quiet

alcurad said:

nani??

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Done.

Junior said:

When i was young i was very quiet but now that i am older, i always have something to share with those who i have bonded with but if i dont know them then im quiet

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Generally speaking, what do you tend to talk about? Things like?

i never used to speak much before but since i started uni i have become a chatterbox. i don't talk to every person i see but among my friends, i talk a lot. I used to wonder why people feel the need to talk so much but now I realised that the next person somehow feels more at ease when you talk to them. when you don't talk, they sometimes think that you feel that you are better than the rest and feel it beyond yourself to talk to them coz they are too low or else they may think that you are upset with them or very snooty and unfriendly. And usually women feel the urge to talk all the time more than men do (that's just my opinion. there may be exceptions)

Silence is only uncomfortable if you think it's uncomfortable. Whenever there's an awkward silence with anyone, and I'm like "uhmmm yeah, this is awkward...", I just tell myself that. And it's no longer awkward, it becomes peaceful and fulfilling. Silence is such an interesting thing, with both friends and strangers, the feeling differs depending upon whom the silence is shared with.

And I do agree with that saying that you posted, very much so. So many times have I spent my time with friends just sitting and thinking. Deep amazing conversation followed by a long pensive silence, that isn't awkward in the least.

Hmmm well it's almost midnight and I think I just rambled without even answering the question?...

The Ruler said:

Done.



Generally speaking, what do you tend to talk about? Things like?

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i talk about things that when i do people say im crazy for example ''concpiracies'' erm boring stuff like football but to my small sisters i just make them laugh and play pranks on them,....there's two years difference between them one is 12 the other is 14 and they are always
arguing and fighting so i pulled out my phone and said i will video their argument and post it on youtube and when ppl view it they will automatically say these two must be worst enemies or something, but then i will reply and say no they're actually sisters! and everybody will be ohhhh shocked,that made them giggle alittle and they kinda stopped the arguments now

i am really really quiet. Every one says why dont u talk
and i go i dont feel like it

crayon said:

Silence is only uncomfortable if you think it's uncomfortable. Whenever there's an awkward silence with anyone, and I'm like "uhmmm yeah, this is awkward...", I just tell myself that. And it's no longer awkward, it becomes peaceful and fulfilling. Silence is such an interesting thing, with both friends and strangers, the feeling differs depending upon whom the silence is shared with.
And I do agree with that saying that you posted, very much so. So many times have I spent my time with friends just sitting and thinking. Deep amazing conversation followed by a long pensive silence, that isn't awkward in the least.

Hmmm well it's almost midnight and I think I just rambled without even answering the question?...

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does it always have to be philosophical chill out with the textbook terminology

BintAbee said:

they sometimes think that you feel that you are better than the rest and feel it beyond yourself to talk to them coz they are too low or else they may think that you are upset with them or very snooty and unfriendly.

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I see. It's a good thing I smile whilst I'm silent. Heh.

Hmmm well it's almost midnight and I think I just rambled without even answering the question?...

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No... Quite frankly, your answer brought out points I never thought about. Omoshirokatta. (Hehe~)

to my small sisters i just make them laugh and play pranks on them,....there's two years difference between them one is 12 the other is 14

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My sisters, too, are 12 and 14. And the only topic I can talk to them about is anime. Even with my 7 year-old brother it's the same. My parents encourage me to talk to them about school work etc, but I just can't find it in me to sit down and talk to them about something like that. It takes too much effort. And I forbade any type of heart to heart conversations.

arguing and fighting so i pulled out my phone and said i will video their argument and post it on youtube and when ppl view it they will automatically say these two must be worst enemies or something, but then i will reply and say no they're actually sisters! and everybody will be ohhhh shocked,that made them giggle alittle and they kinda stopped the arguments now

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Haha, that's funny... Though silly of them. My siblings hardly ever fight unless it's the teen sisters vs the child sister-of-a-brother.

Silence is such an interesting thing, with both friends and strangers, the feeling differs depending upon whom the silence is shared with.

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crayon, could you give me an example? Maybe tomorrow... Hmm? =]

interesting thread, I used to be a silencer too (still am though) , I also felt like I made people uncomfortable lol those were funny moments when I think about it.


especially with strangers ....honestly I dont want them to talk to me lol strange ?
I do talk most of the time with friends and especially if its about Soccer, Islam, school, work ,cars and Life but usually the convo never lasts more then 10 minutes.

argh i hate talking to strangers. well i dont but i dont know what to tallk to them about.

Like theres this women whose a customer and always comes to our shop and I'd always see her by this bus stop after school and she'll be talking and talking to me and am 'like ummmm yeh' uncomfortable...

and theres this other lolipop women who comes and randomly comes and talks to me. And she'd be talking about what she did in the weekends and about her grand children. and i'll be like 'yeh,yeh' then when she stops for a bit a quickly say that i have to go otherwise i'll be late.

am usually quite. But sometimes silence is a good thing.

what i hate is when you have relatives(family friends) over and they have a kid about your age and you have to make them feel welcomed...its hard i hate that....i always start by saying......YO! did you watch the match....and then i would on the PS3 and our eyes would be glued on the tv playing games.......... without talking and getting to know each other taking place

Güven said:

especially with strangers ....honestly I dont want them to talk to me lol strange ?

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Not really (answering your '?').

I do talk most of the time with friends and especially if its about Soccer, Islam, school, work ,cars and Life but usually the convo never lasts more then 10 minutes.

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The only two things I have from that list is a Life and Islam. But since my friends are all non-muslims and we try not to debate about religion to minimise our misunderstandings, Islam is a topic we don't talk about... Unless we're discussing me and my sense of fashion.

And Life is something I prefer to keep private.

Like theres this women whose a customer and always comes to our shop and I'd always see her by this bus stop after school and she'll be talking and talking to me and am 'like ummmm yeh' uncomfortable...

and theres this other lolipop women who comes and randomly comes and talks to me. And she'd be talking about what she did in the weekends and about her grand children. and i'll be like 'yeh,yeh' then when she stops for a bit a quickly say that i have to go otherwise i'll be late.

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I usually have my headphones on to keep things like that at bay. But the lady this morning thought it was necessary even though I couldn't hear her. she suddenly asked me if I was going to college, I replied, "yes". Her, "oh, so are you applying to university?"; me, "of course"; her, "what for?"; me, "medicine"; her, "I knew you were going to say that!"... I asked her, rather curious, "why" to which she simply said, "I just did". Tch. Then she was talking about her son who also wanted to medicine... But the bus arrived, and I was never so grateful for the good-timing.

Or when ur forced to talk to ur relative's on the phone. I hate it.

it will go like this.

me: salam
person: wasalam
me: how are u and hows ur family...
person: fine alhamdulillah everyone's okay.
me:ummm....

break into a silence.

me: umm my brother wants to talk to u....

lol

J.U.N.I.O.R said:

what i hate is when you have relatives(family friends) over and they have a kid about your age and you have to make them feel welcomed...its hard i hate that....i always start by saying......YO! did you watch the match....and then i would on the PS3 and our eyes would be glued on the tv playing games.......... without talking and getting to know each other taking place

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It's easy to "help mum in the kitchen".

Oh, I'm liking the way the poll results are turning out to be. Heh.

Rida said:

Or when ur forced to talk to ur relative's on the phone. I hate it.

it will go like this.

me: salam
person: wasalam
me: how are u and hows ur family...
person: fine alhamdulillah everyone's okay.
me:ummm....

break into a silence.

me: umm my brother wants to talk to u....

lol

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;D
funny how your brother says exatcly what you said and then your mum wants to 'talk' to them

^LOL that happens with me all the time ;D

and especially If you have a little sister in house, Man I dont know about you guys but my sister ,who is 8, TALKS ALOT , I think she has already talked more than half of my whole lifetime!

60% of my phone conversations consist of 'ah', 'oh', 'hmm' and 'I see'. I avoid conversing on the phone as much as possible.

^Yes, but what about a stranger who stupidly had a sudden urge to converse with you?