PDA

View Full Version : How would you treat a non hijabi?



HopeFul
06-30-2009, 11:11 AM
:sl:


I encountered a situation last weekend. I went to the halal shop and instead of the normal brother serving this time, it was a sister. She was arab speaking I think probably Lebanon origin. I have only been to the shop 2, 3 times, with my husband and I was shocked at the women who came in there I only saw this time. Arabic speakers, they were dressed very improperly. The counter girl must have been around 21, 22 years old and had a halter top!!! I was amazed, she said salam and I felt a frown on my face automatically. I am so ashamed now.

It;s ignorance, i never did this before, but I thought, man your language is arabic, I am even deprived of this, you can understand all the ahdeeth and quraan first hand, and yet you stand here like this???

to make her feel guilty I went into the shop again, without my family and bought a Quraan and some islamic CDs for my kids. This time I tried to smile.

I wanted to ask all the hijabi and niqabis how would you treat a non hijabi muslim woman who dresses indecently.

Do you also feel sour? I normally feel very open minded and try and treat them well, so tey can be attracted towards hijab, but I feel so guilty now, I dont know why I was feeling kinda biased.

I was wondering what the etiquettes were for encountering non hijabi sisters...

JazakAllah

:w:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
HopeFul
06-30-2009, 11:38 PM
bump
Reply

AntiKarateKid
06-30-2009, 11:41 PM
You treat them EXACTLY as you would any other sister. Some people take time coming around. Moreover, you don't know what's in their hearts.

So the best thing to do, is the default, be nice to them as you would any other and DO NOT act superior because that'll create an Us versus Them complex, and they may never come around.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-30-2009, 11:44 PM
:sl:

I myself get this thought in my head like "why is she dressed that way," but try and try not to think negatively as it will show on my face...they should be able to see the beauty of Islam through us following it practically. They too are Muslim...just sinning. I love my fellow sisters regardless, hijabi or not...so I know what you're feeling sis. I guess it's normal.

I guess the best thing to do is show Islam through your actions. Even Muslims need dawah alongside non Muslims. However they are, they are your sisters and should be given respect and treated the same I suppose.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
liya
07-01-2009, 03:56 PM
sister she dont have to be muslim only 50% i think in lebnon r muslims ..... most of ma friends r hijabi but wen i see them its normal actually .... but ma cuzins r not hijabis i love them as my sister and i feel pain really wen i see them like that not beliving that hijab is to protect them ... but if u talked to them then u dd wat u have to do ... then everyone has the freedom of choice and she is responsible of it infront of Allah the almighty ...
Reply

HopeFul
07-01-2009, 06:06 PM
Assalmaolaikum,

I think the fact is that i feel weird. Even when I see my own sisters some of them who dont cover, it pains me and I actually being the eldest give them quite a bit of a lectre every time I see them.

I was ok before and recently have started to feel bitter about it. the more I travel and live in places wearing complete muslim attire, the more I think whats wrong with others, not that I compare with myself but sometimes I cant help it. my fmaily isnt very religious.. Alhamdolillah yet I have managed to keep own kids and husband somehow away from the hustle and bustle of materialism, Alhamdolillah.

This lady was a muslim, she was serving in the only certified halal shop in the canton we live in and she was a family member of the owner. Hence I felt that way. In any case, i should carry on like I use to before. Gentle, siley and dawa in a nice way.. i suppse that would be the right way...
Reply

Nihila
07-01-2009, 07:39 PM
Salaamun alaykum!

Sis, I suppose on some levels its natural to feel this way...at the end of the day they're our sisters in Islam and we don't want them to feel any pain etc, especially when it comes to the hereafter!

Buuut...you have to remember that in the same way 'we' see those who don't wear hijab and sometimes think negatively, those who don't wear hijab and see other who do also have thoughts! If we behave negatively towards sisters who don't wear hijab, it could have a negative impact...

I always try my best to smile loads and make conversation with sisters who don't wear hijab; I want them to see that hijab doesnt mean 'Im better than you' or 'Im unfriendly and won't speak to you'...InshaAllah I pray my attitude might one day encourage someone to learn more about, even don, hijab :)

"Love your brother (or sister) what you would love for yourself"
Reply

Caller الداعي
07-01-2009, 08:02 PM
salams All muslims should be treated equally however if possible we should try to encourage those who r further away from practising deen more abt islam.
Reply

- IqRa -
07-03-2009, 10:02 AM
man your language is arabic, I am even deprived of this, you can understand all the ahdeeth and quraan first hand, and yet you stand here like this???
Sister, if you think that is bad...

Last time I went to Umrah, in the Summer Holidays, I was sitting at Fajr time in the area outside Masjid-e-Nabawi, and a girl (full niqaab, hijaab and jilbaab, niqaab was in her hand because the area was segregated) was telling her friend in Arabic that;

"I told my mother I am going to the Masjid to pray Fajr, but I've called my boyfriend up and he is coming to meet me in a hotel. We are going to have breakfast and then...." (I'd rather not finish this sentence).

SubhanAllah. In the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam's masjid. Enough said.
Reply

Ali_008
07-03-2009, 10:26 AM
Originally Posted by T.I.A
Sister, if you think that is bad...

Last time I went to Umrah, in the Summer Holidays, I was sitting at Fajr time in the area outside Masjid-e-Nabawi, and a girl (full niqaab, hijaab and jilbaab, niqaab was in her hand because the area was segregated) was telling her friend in Arabic that;

"I told my mother I am going to the Masjid to pray Fajr, but I've called my boyfriend up and he is coming to meet me in a hotel. We are going to have breakfast and then...." (I'd rather not finish this sentence).

SubhanAllah. In the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam's masjid. Enough said.
Subhanallah, I felt jitters running through my entire body while reading that. I think its the Prophet's Mosque whose chastity is shocking us so much in this case in particular. May Allah guide all of us and prevent from these illegal practices. I've seen people who did them and regret till this day for having transgressed the limits, Alhamdulillah. May Allah cure the hearts of all of us. Ameen
Reply

HopeFul
07-03-2009, 10:46 AM
:sl:

Thank you everyone for your opnions/advice

and TIA, that made me feel sick to the stomach:astagfiru


May Allah guide us all, I ahve heard similar stories in kuwait, and I just hope that Allah guides us all,

doing something horrible under covers doesnt mean one should go wihtout covers and say they are good. Every thing has its own evils, one must strive to please Allah in every way...
Reply

- IqRa -
07-03-2009, 10:55 AM
People say that 'there is no point wearing Hijab because people with hijab do things like this and that', but at the end of the day, it is what you do that matters. The Hijab/Jilbab/Niqab is between you and your Lord, and no one can judge you for that.
Reply

aadil77
07-03-2009, 01:33 PM
Originally Posted by T.I.A

"I told my mother I am going to the Masjid to pray Fajr, but I've called my boyfriend up and he is coming to meet me in a hotel. We are going to have breakfast and then...." (I'd rather not finish this sentence).

.
hearing crap like this gets me vexxed if it was ok I'd hunt them down and slaughter them both, thats if I'm able to. I don't want to boast but I'm sure any brother here would feel like that after hearing such filth in one of the holiest places on earth
Reply

Salahudeen
07-05-2009, 09:31 PM
Originally Posted by aadil77
hearing crap like this gets me vexxed if it was ok I'd hunt them down and slaughter them both, thats if I'm able to. I don't want to boast but I'm sure any brother here would feel like that after hearing such filth in one of the holiest places on earth
yeah I know how you feel :raging:

I hate seeing Muslim women walking around not covering up and being a FITNA for the men. Then they moan when men look at them and call them pervs lol what's wrong with these women :enough!:

Also they moan they can't get married, which man is gonna marry a women who walks around displaying her beauty for all the men to gawp at,admire and size up. I don't think any man wants a women who walks down the road and all the men stare at her cause she ain't covered up.

The men that go after these type of women are just after a "bit of fun" and they normally attempt to use them for the purpose of fulfilling evil desires and have no intention of marrying her.

All they see her as, is a sexual object. I digressed into something else lol sorry me and my tangents :raging:
Reply

Abdul Fattah
07-05-2009, 10:06 PM
Selam aleykum

We don't know, we don't know, we don't know. Maybe this person just reverted? Just because you speak Arabic doesn't guarantee that you're raised Islamicly. So have patience and don't judge, instead give advice with diplomacy.
Reply

AntiKarateKid
07-06-2009, 03:48 AM
Originally Posted by aadil77
hearing crap like this gets me vexxed if it was ok I'd hunt them down and slaughter them both, thats if I'm able to. I don't want to boast but I'm sure any brother here would feel like that after hearing such filth in one of the holiest places on earth
I woulda just went up to her and called her a ***** and asked her wtf she was doing here.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
07-06-2009, 06:47 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
Originally Posted by HopeFul
:sl:
I encountered a situation last weekend. I went to the halal shop and instead of the normal brother serving this time, it was a sister. She was arab speaking I think probably Lebanon origin. I have only been to the shop 2, 3 times, with my husband and I was shocked at the women who came in there I only saw this time. Arabic speakers, they were dressed very improperly. The counter girl must have been around 21, 22 years old and had a halter top!!! I was amazed, she said salam and I felt a frown on my face automatically. I am so ashamed now.

It;s ignorance, i never did this before, but I thought, man your language is arabic, I am even deprived of this, you can understand all the ahdeeth and quraan first hand, and yet you stand here like this???
understanding Arabic and learning the deen are two different things.


to make her feel guilty I went into the shop again, without my family and bought a Quraan and some islamic CDs for my kids. This time I tried to smile.
what do you mean make her feel guilty:?

I wanted to ask all the hijabi and niqabis how would you treat a non hijabi muslim woman who dresses indecently.
the exact way i would encounter/treat a non-hijaabi sister...it makes no difference to me...i don't see why it should:?


Originally Posted by T.I.A
Sister, if you think that is bad...

Last time I went to Umrah, in the Summer Holidays, I was sitting at Fajr time in the area outside Masjid-e-Nabawi, and a girl (full niqaab, hijaab and jilbaab, niqaab was in her hand because the area was segregated) was telling her friend in Arabic that;

"I told my mother I am going to the Masjid to pray Fajr, but I've called my boyfriend up and he is coming to meet me in a hotel. We are going to have breakfast and then...." (I'd rather not finish this sentence).
knowing Arabic or having arabic as your first language doesn't mean that you're anymore religious than anyone else, taking into considering the fact that a lot of arabs are non-Muslim.

errrr and i hate to say it, but your lil story makes no sense. Why would go to the masjid and not straight to the hotel? stopping over at the mosque whilst your mother isn't even there to check on you, simply makes no sense. and why would you even say that in arabic in front of a bunch of other Arabs as well? i mean if your so adamant on concealing yourself, you don't go around speaking that kind of rubbish in the same language as those around you...

Also they moan they can't get married, which man is gonna marry a women who walks around displaying her beauty for all the men to gawp at,admire and size up. I don't think any man wants a women who walks down the road and all the men stare at her cause she ain't covered up.
that reason is like the tiniest of proportions of all the reasons some of us may have trouble marrying... oh and i hope you brothers are doing your fair share of lowering your gaze as well! i mean if you want a modest wife, you would only be trying just as hard to preserve your modesty as well. right?
Reply

- IqRa -
07-06-2009, 09:43 AM
Excuse me, I didn't ask for your opinion whether you think its true or not. I simply posted it for sister HopeFuls thread. So please excuse me, and try and show less attitude sister. May Allah punish me if I am lying.
Reply

Sari
07-06-2009, 10:48 PM
Treat her like any other Muslim sister. You don't know her at all, only Allah can judge her.
Reply

S_87
07-07-2009, 08:33 AM
same as anyone else..have a lot of friends and family members that are not hijabis...

errrr and i hate to say it, but your lil story makes no sense. Why would go to the masjid and not straight to the hotel? stopping over at the mosque whilst your mother isn't even there to check on you, simply makes no sense. and why would you even say that in arabic in front of a bunch of other Arabs as well? i mean if your so adamant on concealing yourself, you don't go around speaking that kind of rubbish in the same language as those around you...
let me guess, her driver dropped her off at one side of the masjid and her hotel was at the other side so she walked through the court? :p

i remember when i was there in the court, it was late at ngiht and the masjid was closed so not much people around but a group of teenage boys passed with music playing loud from their phones and no shame at all...
Reply

HopeFul
07-07-2009, 09:31 AM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
wa alaykum us-Salaam


understanding Arabic and learning the deen are two different things.



what do you mean make her feel guilty:?



the exact way i would encounter/treat a non-hijaabi sister...it makes no difference to me...i don't see why it should:?




knowing Arabic or having arabic as your first language doesn't mean that you're anymore religious than anyone else, taking into considering the fact that a lot of arabs are non-Muslim.

errrr and i hate to say it, but your lil story makes no sense. Why would go to the masjid and not straight to the hotel? stopping over at the mosque whilst your mother isn't even there to check on you, simply makes no sense. and why would you even say that in arabic in front of a bunch of other Arabs as well? i mean if your so adamant on concealing yourself, you don't go around speaking that kind of rubbish in the same language as those around you...


that reason is like the tiniest of proportions of all the reasons some of us may have trouble marrying... oh and i hope you brothers are doing your fair share of lowering your gaze as well! i mean if you want a modest wife, you would only be trying just as hard to preserve your modesty as well. right?
Assalamoalaikum,

I understand what you are saying. i normally feel this way too. There is nothing wrong but a piece of cloth missing on the sister, maybe the dressing style is different too. And the fact is that it is not nice to see that sisters appear as objects. I just wanted to know how one can invite them, to wear the Hijab. because the niqab may be a disputed thing but the Hijab is a fard.


I think maybe its just like having abeard for brothers, maybe it's "not a big deal". Anyway Allah guide me in doing the best, ameen.

As for making her feel guilty, this is so wrong, but I went back in so she could see me again that I am wearing an Abaya, maybe that will make her think..:D to wear it herself.
I cver myself for Allah not for people so it was wrong, but how can one tell a sister to try and cover up. I was young and I only covered my ehad with a scarf many years ago. I was in italy and walking when this motorbike just stopped behind me and the brother with a beard started syaing something in italian and I couldnt understand. he tried in english, " head covered is good, please cover all.." Then he drove off. Since then I never took the abaya off, Alhamdolillah. I couldnt just say that to someone, so i asked if there is another approach and what do hijabi isters feel/do when they see non covering sisters. Afterall it's bad isn't it?
Reply

Ansariyah
07-12-2009, 06:30 PM
I wud treat her the same way I treat any other sister to be honest.
Reply

جوري
07-12-2009, 07:05 PM
alot of sisters who don't wear hijab secretly want to, it isn't that they aren't conscious that they are committing sins or that it doesn't eat away at their heart-- there are many reasons as to why not, perhaps all of them silly and ridiclous like not having courage to do it.. the best approach is the gentle approach not the forceful one IMHO... no I wouldn't treat a sister poorly because she is dressed one way or the other.. she is still a sister..

:w:
Reply

zanjabeela
07-12-2009, 08:43 PM
:wa:
Originally Posted by HopeFul
:sl:
I wanted to ask all the hijabi and niqabis how would you treat a non hijabi muslim woman who dresses indecently.

Do you also feel sour? I normally feel very open minded and try and treat them well, so tey can be attracted towards hijab, but I feel so guilty now, I dont know why I was feeling kinda biased.

I was wondering what the etiquettes were for encountering non hijabi sisters...

JazakAllah

:w:
Treat non-hijabis the way you'd treat any other person, Muslim or non-Muslim. The only difference between a hijabi and a non-hijabi, as far as a another human being is concerned, is that the non-hijabi's sin is more obvious. Of course, the hijabi's other sins might be obvious too, but the non-hijabi's lack of hijab is more visible, thus more obvious.

Of course, if a non-hijabi treats you with disrespect, the rules change a bit. Nobody needs to tolerate disrespect from anybody else, whether hijabed or hijabless.

Originally Posted by aadil77
hearing crap like this gets me vexxed if it was ok I'd hunt them down and slaughter them both, thats if I'm able to. I don't want to boast but I'm sure any brother here would feel like that after hearing such filth in one of the holiest places on earth
I think you might want to calm down. Hearing it, no matter where you are, is not the same as seeing it being done; and, no matter where you are, you still need witnesses and all that jazz. So, relax, take a chill pill, breathe deeply, and don't speak so comfortably of killing people. It sounds scary and highly inappropriate.

Originally Posted by squiggle
yeah I know how you feel :raging:

I hate seeing Muslim women walking around not covering up and being a FITNA for the men. Then they moan when men look at them and call them pervs lol what's wrong with these women :enough!:

Also they moan they can't get married, which man is gonna marry a women who walks around displaying her beauty for all the men to gawp at,admire and size up. I don't think any man wants a women who walks down the road and all the men stare at her cause she ain't covered up.

The men that go after these type of women are just after a "bit of fun" and they normally attempt to use them for the purpose of fulfilling evil desires and have no intention of marrying her.

All they see her as, is a sexual object. I digressed into something else lol sorry me and my tangents :raging:
To the brothers who find the uncovered women to be a fitna: whatever happened to the concept of lowering your gaze? We have the responsibility to cover up (as do you men) for our own good. You have the concept of lowering your gaze (as do we women) for your own good. If you didn't gawk at it, it would be a whole lot less of a fitna. And there are men out there who see that kind of dressing (or undressing) and are completely disgusted, to the point where it is not a fitna for them at all. So, a large part of the problem, sorry to say it, is with you. She may be dressing like a sexual object, but you bear responsibility for seeing her that way. Control yourselves, stop giving women who dress that way the attention they might be seeking, and maybe...just maybe, they'll stop dressing like they just stepped out of the shower.

PS: In Muslim countries, where women cover up, such as the Middle East and the subcontinent, women do still get harassed, molested, and raped. It's not about the way a woman dresses and behaves. It's about the way some men think. Fix the thinking, the rest will follow.

:w:
Reply

GuestFellow
07-15-2009, 08:12 PM
Originally Posted by HopeFul
I wanted to ask all the hijabi and niqabis how would you treat a non hijabi muslim woman who dresses indecently.
Generally I do try to avoid talking to any girl that is not related to me, whether they have the Hijab or not. If I am in a situation where I have to work or talk to a girl, I would simply keep things formal. Be nice and kind, but never get too friendly or personal. I try not to judge a girl who dresses indecently and I always lower my gaze. I always try to treat all women equally and with respect, even if they do not offer me any respect at all (some girls are rather stuck up).
Reply

Strzelecki
07-19-2009, 01:29 AM
Originally Posted by Yanoorah
I wud treat her the same way I treat any other sister to be honest.
This.

(:
Reply

أبو سليمان عمر
07-19-2009, 03:49 AM
First May Allah guide her Ameen
Now as to how to treat her there is only one thing u can do and that is advices her and the rest is on her so with this i wanted to post something i was reading for the sisters mashallah a good read May Allah increae us in imran and make our hearts firm in islam Ameen

Why Should I Wear the Hijaab?

http://www.troid.org/

"PIVOTAL QUOTE"

Dear Muslim sister! Come towards the gates of Paradise with us! Fulfill your duties towards Allaah, put on your adornment - put on your hijaab, and race towards Jannah (Paradise) by doing all good actions.

This is a good question and there is a beautiful answer! Allaah has commanded us with every action that is good for us and prohibited us from performing every action that is bad for us. Allaah orders the Muslim woman to wear the hijaab when she steps out of the security of her home or when in the presence of strange men. So to wear the hijaab is a source of great good for you – the Muslim woman - for many reasons. Among them:

1.

You please Allaah. You are obeying the commands of your Lord when you wear the hijaab and you can expect great rewards in return.
2.

It is Allaah’s protection of your natural beauty. You are too precious to be "on display" for each man to see.
3.

It is Allaah’s preservation of your chastity.
4.

Allaah purifies your heart and mind through the hijaab.
5.

Allaah beautifies your inner and outer countenance with hijaab. Outwardly your hijaab reflects innocence, purity, modesty, shyness, serenity, contentment and obedience to your Lord. Inwardly you cultivate the same.
6.

Allaah defines your femininity through the hijaab. You are a woman who respects her womanhood. Allaah wants you to be respected by others, and for you to respect yourself.
7.

Allaah raises your dignity through the hijaab. When a strange man looks at you, he respects you because he sees that you respect yourself.
8.

Allaah protects your honour 100% through your hijaab. Men do not gaze at you in a sensual way, they do not approach you in a sensual way, and neither do they speak to you in a sensual way. Rather, a man holds you in high esteem and that is just by one glance at you!
9.

Allaah gives you nobility through the hijaab. You are noble not degraded because you covered not naked.
10.

Allaah demonstrates your equality as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. Your Lord bestows upon you equal worth as your male counterpart, and gives you a host of beautiful rights and liberties. You express your acceptance of these unique rights by putting on the hijaab.
11.

Allaah defines your role as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. You are a someone with important duties. You are a reflection of a woman of action not idle pursuits. You display your sense of direction and purpose through your hijaab. You are someone that people take seriously.
12.

Allaah expresses your independence through the hijaab. You are stating clearly that you are an obedient servant of the Greatest Master. You will obey no one else and follow no other way. You are not a slave to any man, nor a slave to any nation. You are free and independent from all man-made systems.
13.

Allaah gives you the freedom of movement and expression through the hijaab. You are able to move about and communicate without fear of harassment. Your hijaab gives you a unique confidence.
14.

Allaah wants others to treat you – a Muslim woman - with kindness. And the hijaab brings about the best treatment of men towards you.
15.

Allaah wants your beauty to be preserved and saved for just one man to enjoy – your husband.
16.

Allaah helps you to enjoy a successful marriage through wearing hijaab. Because you reserve your beauty for one man alone, your husband’s love for you increases, he cherishes you more, he respects you more and he honours you more. So your hijaab contributes to a successful and lasting marriage relationship.
17.

Allaah brings about peace and stability in the society through the hijaab! Yes this is true! Men do not cause corruption by forming illegal relationships because you - the Muslim woman - calm their passions. When a man looks at you, he feels at ease, not tempted to fornicate…

So a Muslim woman in hijaab is dignified, not dishonoured, noble, not degraded, liberated, not subjugated, purified, not sullied, independent, not a slave, protected, not exposed, respected, not laughed at, confident, not insecure, obedient, not a sinner, a guarded pearl, not a prostitute…

Dear Muslim sister! Come towards the gates of Paradise with us! Fulfill your duties towards Allaah, put on your adornment - put on your hijaab, and race towards Jannah (Paradise) by doing all good actions. You should agree by now that wearing hijaab is extremely beneficial – it must be - because Allaah only commands what is good…

…and believe me dear sister, it is good to obey the commands of your Lord…

"Their reward is with their Lord: Gardens of Eden underneath which rivers flow wherein they will dwell for ever; Allaah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him; this is (in store) for whoever fears his Lord." [Sooratul-Bayyinah 98:8]
Asalam wa alaykum
Reply

noorseeker
07-19-2009, 05:21 AM
Sometimes when i walk past a girl, i blatantly lower my gaze, as to show her im not looking at her, not to really make feel guilty, but maybe to show her a non verbal message

is this wrong?

There are lot of bros who would like to keep the beard, but something stops them,same as for a lot of sisters.
Reply

Ramadhan
07-20-2009, 02:00 PM
Originally Posted by nightstar
Sometimes when i walk past a girl, i blatantly lower my gaze, as to show her im not looking at her, not to really make feel guilty, but maybe to show her a non verbal message

is this wrong?

There are lot of bros who would like to keep the beard, but something stops them,same as for a lot of sisters.
Wearing for women hijab is compulsory, wearing beard for men is not compulsory, at least not stated in the Quran
Reply

- IqRa -
07-20-2009, 02:02 PM
^ Exactly.
Reply

Ali_008
07-20-2009, 02:24 PM
Originally Posted by nightstar
Sometimes when i walk past a girl, i blatantly lower my gaze, as to show her im not looking at her, not to really make feel guilty, but maybe to show her a non verbal message

is this wrong?

There are lot of bros who would like to keep the beard, but something stops them,same as for a lot of sisters.
:sl:
Brother, lowering the gaze is an order of the Qur'an and it has been to be done solely for the sake of Allah and not to make anyone feel anything at all.

Umar ibn al-Khattaab (RadhiAllahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wasallam) said:
"Actions are by intention, and every person will receive what he intended. So whoever intended to migrate for the sake of Allaah and His Messenger, then his migration will be for Allaah and His Messenger. And whoever intended to migrate for the sake of some worldy benefit or in order to marry a woman, then his migration will be for that which he migrated."
[reported by Saheeh al-Bukhari (v.1 no.1) and Saheeh Muslim (v.3 no.4692) and also Sunan Abu Dawood]

So whatever you do, do it only and only to gain Allah's pleasure. Doing a righteous act with an intention other than pleasing Allah is considered minor SHIRK. Protect yourself from the traps of shaytaan. Keep reciting this dua for clean intentions :

"Allahumma inni aoodhu bika an ushrika bika wa ana a'lam wa'staghfiruka lima laa a'lam"

O Allah, I seek refuge with You from knowingly associating anything with You and I seek Your forgiveness for that which I am unaware.
Reply

Faith.
07-22-2009, 06:27 PM
Originally Posted by HopeFul
:sl:

I wanted to ask all the hijabi and niqabis how would you treat a non hijabi muslim woman who dresses indecently.


:w:
:sl:
Honestly, I would treat her the same as a hijabi, mostly due to the fact that I don't no what's in her heart. She may not have been brought up in an ideal islamic way, I mean im still getting used to wearing hijab, but even when I wasn't wearing one no one knew my intentions, but Allah. and unfortunatly some sisters who do cover up arn't so holy as they seem.

So sis I wouln't judge a sis like that, and i wud feel sort of uncomfertable for making her feel bad

:sl:
Reply

piXie
07-22-2009, 06:56 PM
Originally Posted by HopeFul
Arabic speakers, they were dressed very improperly. The counter girl must have been around 21, 22 years old and had a halter top!!! I was amazed, she said salam and I felt a frown on my face automatically. I am so ashamed now.
Why are u ashamed? If they are Muslims, they are the ones who should feel ashamed to be dressed like that. :ermm:
Reply

nays
07-22-2009, 07:49 PM
Originally Posted by T.I.A
"I told my mother I am going to the Masjid to pray Fajr, but I've called my boyfriend up and he is coming to meet me in a hotel. We are going to have breakfast and then...." (I'd rather not finish this sentence).

SubhanAllah. In the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam's masjid. Enough said.

Only if you recorded her and gave it to the religious police :nervous: lol
Reply

Banu_Hashim
07-22-2009, 09:18 PM
I'd treat them with respect as I would a hijabi. I'm not here to judge. Everyone has their own path; some may take longer to make it to that transition to wearing hijab. You need full conviction to do it, right?
Reply

Clover
07-22-2009, 10:12 PM
If I saw a Muslim woman dressed in the clothing they are "supposed" to wear in Islam, I wouldn't say anything, except probably take a second look cause I have never seen one wearing one before, although I'm pretty sure it's just cloth covering the skin, nothing special. I mean a lot of people would stare at Amish, I don't cause I live near them and have been living with them all my life. I guess you just grow into it.
Reply

lordvader
07-22-2009, 11:53 PM
i see some women leave there hair in front showing
is that allowed ? (i think its not)

is there any hadith can give the sisters or point out where its writen for them to cover head
without any hair been seen
i know few sisters who let a few hair showing in from (for style i guess)

jazakh allah
Reply

- IqRa -
07-23-2009, 03:52 PM
What is the point of wearing hijaab if your hair is being seen?
Reply

Salahudeen
07-23-2009, 08:42 PM
Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. I have been wearing hijab for five years. It was my choice, but my confidence and self esteem have been entirely shattered because of it. I am enraged at the fact that the scholars (mainly men) have been threatening Muslim women into believing that Allah has ordered them to cover their hair. The truth is that these scholars (mostly men) have decided that women must cover their hair in order to divert the desires of men, labeling such a ruling as a commandment of Allah. In Qur'anic verses Allah specifically tells women to cover their bosoms. Did Allah forget to mention hair? Jazakum Allah khayran




Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister, we commend your pursuit of knowledge and your eagerness to seek what is lawful and avoid what is not. We earnestly implore Allah to bless your efforts in this honorable way.

It must be well-known that the primary purpose of hijab, or the proper Islamic dress code, is to safeguard the modesty, dignity and honor of men and women.

Allah, the Creator of humans, knows our nature better than ourselves, and thus He has prescribed appropriate rules of behavior and appearance to be observed when men and women interact with one another. These rules of interaction also include a prescription for modest dressing, which applies to men as well as women. Almighty Allah says, "Say to the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their chastity…” (An-Nur: 30) He also says: “And tell the believing women to lower their eyes, and guard their modesty, and that they display not their ornaments except what appears of them.” (An-Nur: 31)

In his response to the question in point, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

You are commended for your desire to set the matter straight on the matter of hijab. You are also to be commended for your attempt to find the required information through the most authentic sources in Islam, namely the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

Having said this, however, I must advise you to approach these sources by using the proper methodology;. Since the Qur’an was revealed in the Arabic language, we must understand its meanings by reference to the usage and conventions of that language. To use a translation, however accurate it may be, often does not properly convey the full nuances of the revealed Word.

Let us now turn to the specific verse on hijab in the Qur’an: “And tell the believing women to lower their eyes, and guard their modesty, and that they display not their ornaments except what appears of them. And that they draw their scarves (khumurihinna) over their bosoms…” (An-Nur: 31)

The word used in this context is khumur which has been variously translated as veils or scarves; the latter is more precise for it is the plural of khimar, which has been defined as “a woman’s head covering; a piece of cloth with which a woman covers her head.” (See Ibn Manzur, Lisan al-`Arab.) Imam Raghib al-Isfahani in his famous work, Mufradat alfadh al-Qur’an defines the terms by saying, “The root meaning of the word is to cover, and the khimar, therefore, is the cover or veil, but it has become synonymous with veil with which a woman covers her head (i.e., headscarf); the plural of the word is khumur (as used in the Qur’an: An-Nur: 31).” Because, according to the Arabic usage, covering the head is the most important function of khimar, no scholar in the past that we know of has ever disputed the fact that women are commanded by Allah to cover their heads; they only argued whether the face and hands are also included in the above order. The majority of scholars are of the opinion that they are allowed to uncover their faces and hands.

Furthermore, one of the basic principles of the Qur’anic exegesis is that we must seek to understand the Qur’anic verses as they were originally revealed to, received, understood, and applied by the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), both men and women. We have incontrovertible evidence in the sources to suggest that it is in the above sense, and in the above sense alone, that they related to, and applied the above verse. We read the report of `A’ishah, the beloved wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who said: “By Allah, I never saw more excellent women than those of the Ansar in their zeal to believe and act according to the Revelation. When Allah revealed the verse, “and let them draw their veils over their bosoms”, their men rushed to their homes in order to recite the same to their wives, daughters and sisters and relatives. No sooner they heard the verse, everyone of their women without exception rushed to cut a piece of their long gowns and covered themselves with it, and thus they stood behind the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) with their heads covered as if they had crows sitting on them (because of the color of their head-scarves)!” (See Tafsir works such as those of Ibn Jarir, al-Qurtubi and Ibn Kathir, etc.)

In light of the above, it is easy to conclude that covering the head (and not the face and hands) is a stated requirement of the proper Islamic attire for Muslim women. It is clearly not one of those scholarly interpretations which one may choose to accept or ignore but a clear commandment of Allah stated in the Qur’an. May Allah guard us all against the evil inclinations of our souls and help us to remain steadfast on the truth. Amen.

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islam.ca

You can also read:

Hijab, Why?

Hijab: Is it Always A Woman’s Business?




Allah Almighty knows best.
Reply

Sahabiyaat
07-24-2009, 09:22 AM
well in the palestinian society in my uni,there is this palestinian girl,very pretty MashaAllah,but the way she dresses makes me blush, her neck line is so low and her skirts so short! and ofcourse all the boys try to flirt with her, muslim boys too! and one time something happend and you know how Arabs say 'Ya Allah'! to vent their frustration at something,and when she said this,i felt so strange,and i thought how can you say Allah's name dressed like that,you dont deserve to say Allahs name!

Now i feel so i ashamed to think that i thought that a creation of Allah is not worthy of his mercy.......Maybe Allah loved her more than me for something i dont know about....Maybe she is better than me in the sight of Allah for something.

So ive learnt,were ALL Allah's creation and we should never look down upon another,whom we think is less than us in deen, as all knowledge rests with Allah.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
07-24-2009, 01:37 PM
:sl:

None what you said is RIGHT. If yo're going to claim to follow the Prophet then learn to accept not only Qur'aanic verses but hadiths where the Prophet(saw) mentioned veiling. The only one falsifying is you. I'm done tellin u anything. My posts were deleted too so plz calm down.

We fall in innovation centuries after death of our prophete Mohamed SWS.
Covering our hair was not done centuries after at all. Infact it was done while he(saw) was present!

Unless the admins address his posts I'm going to end up replying to it. So please reply, rather than the issue be unaddressed. I mean this sincerely. I apologize that this went out of hand, but I cannot, I repeat, cannot let lies fly! Especially about Islaam. At all :skeleton:

JazakAllah Khair


:w:
Reply

AlbanianMuslim
07-24-2009, 02:24 PM
I think personally it is best if we do not speak ill of anyone, regardless of wether they are not wearing hijab or dressing immodestly.

If an issue arises in the masjid/mosque, and you feel very uncomfortable notify anyone who may be in charge. They should address the issue to the entire congregation.
I did this myself. A girl who was attending the mosque and for a time was a friend was speaking about inappropriate things and texting and calling boys while the Imam was saying a Hutba (sorry if thats not spelled right)
I felt very uncomfortable and later told the Imams wife, she then told the imam and the following week he made a 20 minute lecture about how girls/women and men need to put away their phones or they will be taken away and they need to either step out of the mosque or keep their conversations appropriate and stop talking when the imam is giving a lecture.

After that, i noticed many girls who were acting poorly either stopped showing up or kept quiet. Anyone who continued to behave poorly was escorted outside by one of the women elders.


So again, i dont think we should be judging, only educating. If we see a sister we know is Muslim behaving poorly, dressing poorly, we can try to educate that sister. If she returns it with hostility, we must leave it to Allah swt, and move on. Some people are so far in the dark that only Allah swt can help them. It is sad, and yes it does frustrate us and anger us, but we must keep our cool.
Reply

piXie
07-27-2009, 07:31 PM
I agree that we are not allowed to Judge anyone or criticize and speak ill of anyone.. but I sincerely don't understand what some of us are saying.. how can we treat a Muslim woman dressed totally indecently and one dressed Islamically the same ?

Many of us keep saying we cannot Judge anyone and we do not know what is in their hearts and okay I agree with that. But what about the hadith of the Prophet :arabic5: where he said that if u see evil stop it with your hands, if u can't stop it with hands, then stop it with your words, and if not that, then atleast think bad of it in your heart and that is the lowest of your eemaan.

Where does this hadith come in then?

I understand that some Muslim girls who dress inappropriately are ignorant or they are trying and good at heart, and ofcourse our approach with them is more softer and gentler and encouraging. But some girls know everything yet still dress like that. They are rebellious. How can we treat them all 'how are u haha hehe' n be nice ? :hmm: Should atleast keep quiet n make them feel embarrassed.

Originally Posted by zanjabeela
It's not about the way a woman dresses and behaves. It's about the way some men think.
Isn't it about both? Allaah did not only tell the men to lower their gaze, He told the woman to cover too.
Reply

AlbanianMuslim
07-27-2009, 11:36 PM
Yes, it is our job to stop haram, but first with OURSELVES and our own families, THEN we can worry about others.

When you dont have haram in your life, thats when you have the right to go stopping others form doing haram.
You are responsible for yourself, that girl at that store is a grown women by most peoples standards, if she hasnt learned the difference between immodesty and modesty and her father and mother did not teach her or did not guide her....what makes you think shes going to listen to you?
Reply

Clover
07-27-2009, 11:39 PM
Originally Posted by AlbanianMuslim
Yes, it is our job to stop haram, but first with OURSELVES and our own families, THEN we can worry about others.

When you dont have haram in your life, thats when you have the right to go stopping others form doing haram.
You are responsible for yourself, that girl at that store is a grown women by most peoples standards, if she hasnt learned the difference between immodesty and modesty and her father and mother did not teach her or did not guide her....what makes you think shes going to listen to you?
I don't think its a good idea to say it's your job to stop others from committing haram, cause they have a right to do as they please, as long as it isn't breaking that specific nations laws. If you tried to stop people from listening to any kinda music, you'd have to attack them, and then your a vigilante for a cause that most are against, including me.
Reply

AntiKarateKid
07-28-2009, 02:58 AM
Originally Posted by Clover
I don't think its a good idea to say it's your job to stop others from committing haram, cause they have a right to do as they please, as long as it isn't breaking that specific nations laws. If you tried to stop people from listening to any kinda music, you'd have to attack them, and then your a vigilante for a cause that most are against, including me.
If they are Muslim, you have a duty to tell them what's right, at least. The Prophet pbuh said "You don't believe until you desire for your brother, what you desire for yourself". If I wish to be a good Muslim, I should be concerned for the well being of the other Muslims. Though I can't be overbearing, nosy, or force them to listen.
Reply

Clover
07-28-2009, 04:11 AM
Originally Posted by AntiKarateKid
If they are Muslim, you have a duty to tell them what's right, at least. The Prophet pbuh said "You don't believe until you desire for your brother, what you desire for yourself". If I wish to be a good Muslim, I should be concerned for the well being of the other Muslims. Though I can't be overbearing, nosy, or force them to listen.
The statement I quoted, said, STOP it, not stop it by using the voice, I took it as a physical way also. If that is not how the individual meant it, I apologize.
Reply

Salahudeen
07-28-2009, 04:24 AM
hmm this is interesting, what about "loving and hating for the sake of Allah", to love that which Allah loves and to dislike that which Allah dislikes,

can we say Allah loves and likes the women who walks down the road exposing all her body and beauty wearing tight clothes causing the men to become tempted and go astray.

no we cannot say this, so is it not our duty as Muslims to dislike and like the things that Allah likes and dislikes. How can you treat her the same when you love that which Allah loves and dislike that which Allah likes.

hmm I guess you could dislike the action of her not covering up and that's it, or you could dislike her as a person for the fact that she's disobediant to Allah and you only love those who are obediant to Allah and dislike those who aren't obediant to him.

it's tricky after thinking about it am not sure myself what the correct response to this kind of women is, the following questions come in my head

1) Does Allah dislike this women individually because she's disobeying him

2) Or Does Allah just dislike this one specific action of hers walking out uncovered, and as an individual likes her,

I personally IN MY OWN OPINION can not treat the women the same, I feel nothing but dislike towards her my justification for this is, if you were an ex smoker would you like a person infront of you always smoking and making you inhale their smoke and poison tempting you to start smoking again and also, killing you along with them, you wouldn't like it you'd dislike them and not treat them the same as everyone else.

Similarly the women who walks around uncovered poisens the men with her act of not covering up, it's not just herself that she impacts upon she impacts upon every man that walks past her.

Although men are commanded to lower their gaze it'd be alot easier for the man to obey Allah in following this commandment if the women was covered up as oppossed to wearing skin tight clothing and low cut tops or just not covering up islamically in general.

So how can I treat her the same or like and not mind something that is causing big temptation for male muslims and causing them to go astray, it's like putting alcohol infront of a person who used to drink before Islam and telling him to not drink it, would you like the person who put the alcohol infront of the Muslim, would you treat him the same even though he's tempting you by putting this alcoholic drink infront of you?

No you wouldn't, you'd say what a fool doesn't he know that man hates to drink alcohol and hates anything that brings him near it, why's he putting it directly infront of him, right in his face, in his eyes. And you'd dislike that person for tempting the individual to fall into a big sin and you wouldn't treat them the same as everyone else.

This is similar to the women who walks around uncovered she's tempting the men constantly to fall into a big sin so how can you treat her the same when she's an open temptation to evil? how can you treat her the same when because of her making her body a temptation, many brothers have gone astray and fallen into stuff like zinna because they're unable to restrain their glances? Yes when zinna occurs both partys are to blame but the chances of it happening are decreased if the women is covered up and dressed modestly because there's less chance of her attracting the man.

I feel nothing but dislike towards her, she's aiding the devil how can I not dislike her :S.

It's like satan walking around but instead of whispering in your ear he's appearing infront of you in the form of an uncovered women. How many times the Muslim man instead of saying " 'a uthu billahi minna shaytaan nira jiim" and lowering his gaze to the ground he continues to look and smile and then approaches her, yes the blame is upon him also because he carried on looking and found it way to appealing to his desires to not look, but wouldn't it have been less appealing to him if she was covered up instead of walking around uncovered? Does she take more of the blame because the desire inside the man is much stronger than a women? If it was the other way round and the desire was stronger in women and men were ordered to cover up lol wouldn't you dislike men walking around uncovered because you'd see them as creating unnecessary temptation for you, if you were a man you'd understand why it's such a big temptation lol.

But then again it's possible I am being too harsh, what if the girl doesn't know that her dressing like that is disobediance to Allah and that it causes such a big temptation for the men and causing some of them to do evil.

Then I think she should be advised about how Allah commands the women to cover up and it should be explained to her that men are weak when it comes to this area. Yes they are told to lower their gazes but it would be much easier and pleasanter for them to do so if you wern't dressed the way you were.

And after this if she persists then I say you should dislike her and don't treat her the same cos of her causing herself to be a temptation for your brothers. Do you like bars and clubs? I don't because their a temptation for people I apply the same principle here I dislike anything that is a trial and temptation for the believer.



She's totally different from the beautifull muslim lady who covers up and doesn't aid the shaytaan in leading man astray. The women who doesn't cover up reminds me of a drug dealer lol there tempting you to take the drug and get high and feel good, trying to attract you towards taking the drug, would you treat a muslim drug dealer the same way?, and they do exist.

The sin of a women not covering up is seen trivial by some people but amongst the brothers I know personally, it's hated because it's seen as unessary temptation, it's a trial you don't need or want and hate to go through over and over, especially when it's done by "Muslim women".

To show how serious the messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) thought this topic to be of the woman covering up below are some hadiths

2. A women is a object of concealment, thus when she emerges, Satan surreptitiously pursues her (and lays in wait to create his fitna for immorality).

"There will be in the last of my ‘Ummah’ (Muslim Nation), scantily dressed ‎women, the hair on the top of their heads like a camel’s hump. Curse them, for ‎verily they are cursed.” ‎

In another version, the Messenger (saw) said: “…scantily dressed women, who go astray and makes others go ‎astray; they will not enter Paradise nor smell its fragrance, although it can be smelled from afar.” [At-‎Tabarani] [Muslim]

“Scantily dressed women” are those who wear clothing which ‎reveals more than it conceals, thereby increasing her attractiveness while opening the ‎path to a host of evils.

hmm the hadith where the messenger of Allah says to "curse them for verily they are cursed" is interesting

Abu Hurairah . reported Allah’s messenger . having said this, "Two kinds of people would be in the worst situation in Hell. First, those officials who would carry with them whips looking like the tails of cows and they would use them for whipping people. Secondly, those women who would be naked despite wearing clothes (due to wearing see through and tight clothes) who would attract strangers (men) towards them and will themselves be attracted to them. Their heads will be on a side like the humps of fast camels. They will neither enter Paradise nor would they even smell the fragrance of Paradise which will reach for distances."(Abu Dawud)

How many times the Men have turned out to be Muslim approaching Muslim women who walk around uncovered :(

How many times I wished the brothers would lower their gaze rather than looking at that which stimulates their desire but I guess it's alot harder than it needs to be when the women walks around uncovered :(

that's just my view on the topic you don't have to agree with me :)

Also the messengoer of Allah said peace be upon him "I have not left behind any bigger temptation for the men of my ummah than that of the women"

the hadith shows you the status of a women's temptation in the eyes of a man, it's not an excuse rather a warning to the man to be careful and lower his gaze, it would be alot easier if our own sisters in faith covered up and stopped being such a big temption for the brothers.
Reply

lordvader
07-29-2009, 12:29 AM
Originally Posted by squiggle
hmm this is interesting,

it would be alot easier if our own sisters in faith covered up and stopped being such a big temption for the brothers.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”
[al-Noor 24:30]

So all the Men who are not following the Command of Allah
are having problems :)

Reply

Salahudeen
07-29-2009, 12:37 AM
Originally Posted by lordvader
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”
[al-Noor 24:30]

So all the Men who are not following the Command of Allah
are having problems :)

Yeah it wouldn't be such a big problem for them if the women covered up, it would actually make it easier to follow the command. :hmm:
Reply

Muslim Woman
07-29-2009, 12:59 AM
Salaam/Peace:sl:

Originally Posted by HopeFul
:sl:

...you can understand all the ahdeeth and quraan first hand, and yet you stand here like this???

:w:

Those who opposed the Last Prophet ( saw) , killed his grandson ...I guess , many of them were Arabs . So , language is not the main factor . Guidance come from God only. So , let 's pray for all :)
Reply

syilla
07-29-2009, 01:41 AM
salams...

if you are in malaysia and been surrounded by them...

probably you'll be like me

you'll only say what you want to say when you want to say...huhu :hmm:
Reply

cjmax02
07-29-2009, 04:40 AM
Originally Posted by squiggle
Yeah it wouldn't be such a big problem for them if the women covered up, it would actually make it easier to follow the command. :hmm:

doing right in God's eyes isn't supposed to be easy...then everyone would be doing it!
Reply

zakirs
07-29-2009, 05:31 AM
salaam everybody ,


well indeed..we dont know the culture she was brought up in and she might have her own reasons for not wearing hijab . what ever it is sis she surely deserves respect, regarding her not wearing hijab , thats for Allah to decide.
Reply

piXie
07-29-2009, 09:47 AM
Originally Posted by cjmax02
doing right in God's eyes isn't supposed to be easy...then everyone would be doing it!
doing right in God's eyes isn't supposed to be impossible either...then everyone would be leaving it!

Allaah has made the religion easy to follow. :) If he gave some laws for the man to follow, then He also gave some laws for the female to follow. So it is easy for both.

Originally Posted by zakirs
salaam everybody ,

well indeed..we dont know the culture she was brought up in and she might have her own reasons for not wearing hijab . what ever it is sis she surely deserves respect, regarding her not wearing hijab , thats for Allah to decide.
I agree that this is for Allaah to decide, but lets not forget that Allaah has also told us to enjoin the good and forbid the evil. This is a very crucial part of our deen. Our Eemaan is not complete unless we like what Allaah likes and dislikes what He dislikes. If we see someone disobeying Allaah or showing disregard to His commands, how can we respect that?
Reply

zakirs
07-29-2009, 11:55 AM
not complete unless we like what Allaah likes and dislikes what He dislikes. If we see someone disobeying Allaah or showing disregard to His commands, how can we respect that?
exaclty.. but the matter is we can explain her the things and try to show her the right path. the rest again is a decision she needs to make.Respect her not because she is great or something but its good to respect any body right ? for ex : would you respect a non-muslim elder living next door? (note:she doesnt follow allah's commands too )

PS: iam not saying to follow her , but just to respect her a person , please correct me if am wrong anywherew
Reply

piXie
07-29-2009, 05:31 PM
Originally Posted by zakirs
Respect her not because she is great or something but its good to respect any body right ?
But how can we respect a person who calls themselves a Muslim and claims Islam to be their religion yet they do not care about and nor follow its teachings? I am not referring to those Muslims who are trying to obey Allaah and feel guilty when they do wrong, or those who are ignorant and don't know any better, but I am referring to those who show a total disregard to His command, despite knowing everything. How can we respect people like that?

i never did this before, but I thought, man your language is arabic, I am even deprived of this, you can understand all the ahdeeth and quraan first hand, and yet you stand here like this???
Exactly. Did u not say that to her then? :hmm:
Reply

Xiaus
07-29-2009, 07:52 PM
I'd treat them the way I would want to be treated by other sisters. I.e, with respect and courtesty as opposed to condescending or lecturing them because I can't possibly know how they feel deep down. Why? Because I've been there myself. In the first year of sixth form, I wore skinny jeans, somewhat immodest tops (but always covered by trench coat and I went to a all girls' school..alhamdullilah...although I still travelled to and fro' like that. :hm:
Reply

Xiaus
07-29-2009, 08:03 PM
Ooooops, I accidentally posted it w/o finishing. :exhausted Can a mod please merge them?


Anyhow, to carry on...I wanted to wear hijab deep down but I was hesitant. After my 17th birthday this year, I decided to wear full 3abaya and hijab because I felt the time had come for me to start correcting my faults, starting with the outside and working my way inwards. Those who are quick to judge, do you know how awkward and self-conscious I felt when I had to 'debut' my new look at school or the embarrassing questions I had to answer? Such as: "How can you possible enjoy it? Is it because of your dad?" It's not easy! I always used to get smiles, hellos, and good mornings from the people on my way to school but now they look down/away or grab their kids closer. :rollseyes


It took me 7 months to make the transition from that horrible 'clothed but not covered' look to modest clothes, alhamdullilah I love it now and it's not a decision I regret but please, cut our sisters some slack! You may have good intentions but all that condescension can be really off-putting and even hostile sometimes.
Reply

Muslimlearner
07-29-2009, 08:04 PM
I found out,that I don't want even to look and talk to non hejabi.
They remainde me of what I escape from(Alhamdulillah!)

I send a book:,,Why hejaab?,, for non-hejabi muslim,who went to Umra last year.May Allah guide her!
Reply

Salahudeen
07-29-2009, 10:24 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
But how can we respect a person who calls themselves a Muslim and claims Islam to be their religion yet they do not care about and nor follow its teachings? I am not referring to those Muslims who are trying to obey Allaah and feel guilty when they do wrong, or those who are ignorant and don't know any better, but I am referring to those who show a total disregard to His command, despite knowing everything. How can we respect people like that?

Exactly the issue of not wearing hijaab is a sin, would you treat a drug dealer who calls himself Muslim with respect just because you don't know what's in his heart? although all day openly he walks around selling drugs to kids? but who cares you dont know whats in his heart, this is 1 of the commands of Allah he has a hard time following just like the women who has a hard time following laws of hijaab so we should treat him the same because he has a hard time following this and she has a hard time following that.

They are both comitting sins so to say you'd respect her because you don't know what's in her heart means, you have to pay that same respect to every person who commits sins openly because you don't know what's in their heart.

You may think a drug dealer is completely different to a women walking around uncovered but they are both sinning openly and in my view they are both the same, the women walks around uncovered attracting looks from men, old men who "wish they were younger" when they see her, any guesses why?

and young teenage boys who are at the peak of their sexual desire look at her and think "wow if only I was older I'd go after her" in this way she's partly responsible for corrupting the boys mind because the young boy gets conditioned to looking at women uncovered whereever he goes and as he grows up desiring to go after women.

Yes the boy should not be looking and lowering his gaze but would it not be alot easier for him to do so if she was covered up. And if she was covered up and the boy still carried on looking, then is not the blame entirely on him because the women has done her duty of covering up and obeying Allah and doing what Allah has made obligatory on her. And in this case is not the boy the one to blame because he is the only 1 who is not not obeying the commands of Allah by lowering his gaze.

Where as if she walks around uncovered the blame is also on her because she's partly to blame for making her body a temptation, when she's covered up her body's no longer a temptation to look at. when the lady is covered, then he is the 1 to blame out the two.

In a way pixie is right how can we respect people who call themselves Muslims and say we believe but show total disregard to Allah's commands, despite knowing everything. How can we respect people like that? Fair enough if she doesn't know, but what if she does know??

what if she does know the hadith where the prophet pbuh says "the women who wears tight clothing will come no where near the sweet fragrance of jannah"

Is not a Muslim by definition one who submits to the will of Allah, is she submitting when she hears that Allah commands her to cover up and she refuses. So how can you treat her with the same respect as the one who knows and submits :S

I'm sure other men have noticed this but amongst the majority of Muslim men, there is a special type of respect for the Muslim women who covers up that is unparalleled. They never look at her in a bad way, or think bad of her, or hassle her in an unappropriate manner and in my view she is deserving of this. Rather they treat her like their sister and refer to her as their sister.

How can you give this same respect to the other type of women when she walks around openly disobeying Allah, part of what makes a Muslim women so honoured in Islam and special is when she observes hijaab she gets that respect of not being viewed as a sexual object rather as a person.

And to say both are the same and both should be given equal treatment I do not agree with, is not the women who covers up better than the women who does not cover up??

Didn't the messenger (peace be upon him) of Allah say alll mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action.

So is not the women who covers up and obey's Allah openly more better than the women who doesn't? because she has more piety with regards to her appearance. And therefore is she not deserving of more respect because she is more pious and god fearing with regards to her appearance than the women who doesn't cover up.

So would it not be wrong to treat them both the same? even though 1 is better than the other in piety.

I don't know, maybe I'm understanding it wrong here, it's like saying we treat all muslims the same regardless of what they do because we don't know what's in their heart.

Wouldn't you treat your beautifull brother or sister who obey's Allah openly, with his heart in the deen and he/she helps keep your feet firm in Islam better than the brother or sister who disobeys Allah? and who's heart isn't in the deen and she sins openly and possibly takes your heart away from Islam with her. You'd treat this 1 the same as the other 1?
Reply

Muslimlearner
07-29-2009, 10:45 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
the women who has a hard time following laws of hijaab so we should treat him the same because he has a hard time following this and she has a hard time following that.
Good post sis,masha-Allah!

So:if the non-hijabi has a hard time bcos she lives for in a non-muslim land-she must do heejrah!
If she take it as a some kind of excuse-she will be from the losers (may Allah forbids!)
And how bad it is to adore the looks of kufr?
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
07-29-2009, 11:24 PM
By all means hate the action if you cannot change it...but it's not a good idea to do or say anything to push that person away. Not everyone has the same imaan level. I would still address and speak to her nicely regardless. At least to her she'll realize the level of patience Islam teaches and we should be kind to one another. Allah(swt) says to invite others with wisdom and kindness InshaAllah. If you stuff all this in her face at once you'll freak her out and maybe push her away. Patience people...

:sl:
Reply

Salahudeen
07-29-2009, 11:33 PM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
By all means hate the action if you cannot change it...but it's not a good idea to do or say anything to push that person away. Not everyone has the same imaan level. I would still address and speak to her nicely regardless. At least to her she'll realize the level of patience Islam teaches and we should be kind to one another.

:sl:
Yes I don't agree with being nasty to the person or saying anything bad to them, I think you should be nice to them and advise them with kindness about what Allah has made obligitory on them and how show her the hadiths from the messenger of Allah demonstrating what a serious matter it is.

If they still refuse then I feel that they shouldn't occupy the same status in your eyes or you shouldn't love them as much as you love your brothers and sisters who pratice the deen and are your companions in praticing the religion.

But are you really going to like a person who when you show him what Allah has revealed and shown him what the messenger of Allah says and he still refuses like it's some trivial matter? and calls himself Muslim.

I'm not talking about the person who is trying inside and attempting to make the step towards it but has issues inside, i'm talking about the person who doesn't care full stop and just carrys on living their life as normal without taking steps and trying to implement the command of Allah.

But obviously if the women is Muslim and is wearing a mini skirt or tight fitted jeans and trousers or tops that are low cut exposing her belly she's not making much of an effort towards implementing the command. I'm talking bout this type of person, because it's possible to dress modestly to a certain extent and still fit in with society and not be looked at weirdly for wearing hijaab.

But if she's walking round flashing everything do you really think she's desiring to implement the command of covering up into her life? and would you treat her the same as the one who does after you've made her aware that it's haraam what she's doing? would you love her the same as your sister who pratices the religion?

Even though she knows it's blatantly haraam and she makes no attempts to cover up and walks around exposing herself after you've advised her?

by the way we're not talking about inviting people to Islam we're talking about people who claim to be Muslim's yet openly disobey Allah obviously with the non Muslim you'll treat her exactly the way you mentioned because she doesn't claim to be a Muslim and is completely ignorant.

We're talking about the Muslim who claims to believe in the Qur'an and sunnah and knows that Allah has made it obligatory upon them to cover up and make no efforts at all towards dressing modestly. And shows no desire towards implementing the command of Allah and doesn't really care and jus walks round wearing anything she wants like a halter top.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
07-30-2009, 12:38 AM
It's still the same, born Muslim or not. If you want what you to say to have any affect, then you would need to be humble. Some people may wear hijaab but do things even a non practising Muslim might not.

I think we're better of starting off with ourselves rather than to look for someone to judge. I'm not saying we should let the bad fly over us, but before we go and point fingers, I'm pretty sure we have many things in ourselves to point fingers at. Also I wasnt talking about those who blatantly reject. I don't even bother with that kind of people unless of course they want to ask me something. I dont like to seem all preachy. Unless they have questions, I let my behavior do the talking.

:sl:
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
07-30-2009, 12:41 AM
Edit
Reply

Salahudeen
07-30-2009, 01:03 AM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
It's still the same, born Muslim or not. If you want what you to say to have any affect, then you would need to be humble. Some people may wear hijaab but do things even a non practising Muslim might not.

I think we're better of starting off with ourselves rather than to look for someone to judge. I'm not saying we should let the bad fly over us, but before we go and point fingers, I'm pretty sure we have many things in ourselves to point fingers at. Also I wasnt talking about those who blatantly reject. I don't even bother with that kind of people unless of course they want to ask me something. I dont like to seem all preachy. Unless they have questions, I let my behavior do the talking.

:sl:
I agree with you. We all have faults within ourselves but what is wrong with advising someone who is openly disobeying Allah and says they are Muslim? is advising judging them? If I was doing something haraam in front of all the people I'd love it if my muslim brother came upto and took me to 1 side and advised me that what I am doing is haraam and I should not be doing such things if I am a Muslim.

Because I believe as Muslims we should also be aiming to better each other not just our own individual selves. And also doesn't this fall under the hadith where if you see an evil change it with physically with your hands if you cannot do that change it with your tongue and if you cannot do that then hate it in your heart and that is the least of faith.

Is not the Muslim women walking around uncovered disobeying Allah openly infront of everyone considered to be Evil and haraam? then how can I not advise her when the messenger of Allah said the least of faith is to hate it in your heart?

And we're kinda drifting off topic but this is relevant to the thread topic I guess because 1 of the ways you would treat her is by advising her and seeing her response.

Advising isn't judging Noor if some 1s doing something they shouldn't be and you tell them it's wrong and advised them based upon clear proof which is what I'm saying you should do what is wrong with it?

If you saw a Muslim drinking alcohol or smoking drugs wouldn't you advise him and try to help him?? "Look akhi what you're doing is haraam and goes against Qur'an and sunnah you have to try giving it up"

or would you just let him carry on drinking himself to death and say to yourself "Oh no can't tell him what he's doing is haraam who am I to point the finger I'm not perfect" who cares if he's my fellow Muslim can't be pointing the finger now can I.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
07-30-2009, 01:13 AM
I was talking to anyone who thinks that way. No need to argue :p I didnt say anything was wrong with advising. But it's better not to put all the blame on the women folk.
Reply

Salahudeen
07-30-2009, 01:22 AM
oh sis am not arguing with you just discussing am very passionate about getting my point across. Your right all the blame shouldn't be upon the Muslim women it should be on the kuffar women also who they've learnt it from.

But I'm not specificly targeting women lol men are in perfect too even more so than women. but that's a whole diff topic lol "How would you treat a non bearded muslim who's away from sunnah" ;)
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
07-30-2009, 01:24 AM
Same reply, plus I wouldnt even be talking to em :D
Reply

Salahudeen
07-30-2009, 01:28 AM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
Same reply, plus I wouldnt even be talking to em :D
Mashallah, :nervous:
Reply

zakirs
07-30-2009, 06:16 AM
But how can we respect a person who calls themselves a Muslim and claims Islam to be their religion yet they do not care about and nor follow its teachings? I am not referring to those Muslims who are trying to obey Allaah and feel guilty when they do wrong, or those who are ignorant and don't know any better, but I am referring to those who show a total disregard to His command, despite knowing everything. How can we respect people like that?

We all some where or the other commit mistakes sis ,we also know all the things we need to do, but i know i am not able to do every thing , i am trying my level best but it is not so easy sis.i accept that she is disobeying the principles but still who knows she may be trying to get good too sis ?So ...
Reply

piXie
07-30-2009, 11:48 AM
Good posts n good points from everyone.

Originally Posted by zakirs
We all some where or the other commit mistakes sis ,we also know all the things we need to do, but i know i am not able to do every thing , i am trying my level best but it is not so easy sis.i accept that she is disobeying the principles but still who knows she may be trying to get good too sis ?So ...
I agree. I was referring to people who don't try and don't care. But that is a good Q u asked about how do we know whether the non Hijaabi Muslim sister is someone who just doesn't care about the commands of Allaah or someone who is trying but there are external factors stopping her ?

We cannot enjoin the right or forbid the wrong if we do not know a persons background. This is crucial. So before saying anything to anyone, you speak to them and get to know them.

There are 3 types of people out of which only one type will be saved from Allaahs wrath.

a) Those who don't enjoin the right nor forbid the wrong. Leave it altogether.

b) Those who enjoin the right and forbid the wrong but do not do it correctly.

And the last one, the only group which is saved from Allaahs punishment:

c) Those who enjoin the right and forbid the wrong and they do it correctly.

Have to be wise, gentle, know their situation.. cant make anyone run away. etc. Otherwise we will be causing more harm than good.

But that doesn't mean we don't dislike the sin in our heart, no we still dislike the sin, because our emaan is not complete if we do not dislike that which Allaah dislikes. However our approach should be wise.
Reply

qarasz
07-30-2009, 02:50 PM
aSSALAMU ALLIKUM................

ITS ALL WE CAN IDENTIFY THERE ARE NOT PRACTICING ISLAM....(TGERE ALSO SHOWING SYMBOL OF A MUSLIM..THATS Y V UNDERSTOOD THERE R MUSLIM)

THEY ARE ONLY ABIDING...HALF....

THIS CAN HAV LARGER EFFECT.......

GENERAL FEELING WILL BE THER AMONG NON-MUSLIM...THAT MUSLIM ARE LIKE THIS( THEY ONLY COVER HALF OF THEIR HEAD../ THEY HAV NO PROBLEM IN SHAKING THEIR HANDS.....ETC)

WE SHOULD TEACH THEM ISLAM THROUGH OUR ISLAMIC LIFE.

OTHERWISE SUDDENLY A DAY WOMAN STARTED COVERING FACE , EVERYONE WILL LOOK/ SAY THAT IS A FUNDAMENTALISTS.......ETC



TRY TO FOLLOW ALL & TRY TO MAKE MUSLIMPRACTICE ISLAM , NOT WAITING FOR ANOTHER DAY.

JAZAK ALLAH GHAIR
Reply

jeff d
07-30-2009, 10:30 PM
Squiggle, I must agree with you, as you seem to have very good knowledge of the Islamic Faith! I am not Muslim, I am a Christian Reverend, but I understand the purpose of modesty. Here in america, many girls dress very provocatively. Even though I don't think that the way someone dresses is the problem, I believe that it can lead to problems (envy, lust, etc) and that's why the need to dress modestly. I appreciate you strong knowledge of the Qur'an, and helping others understand and learn from it! Thank you for your insight!
Reply

Salahudeen
08-01-2009, 11:27 PM
Your welcome jeff, girls dressing provocatively is not good cos it leads to sexual relations outside marriage for most men and women. because lust becomes a big problem for quite a few men. And that is something we don't want in Islam so the women are told to cover up due and dress modestly due to mens inferiority when it comes to this area and not being able to control themselves, they have a hard time controlling themselves around this area and many times think lustful thoughts about women who are dressed indecently. This is not the case with the majority of women because men have a much stronger sexual desire,

however men are told to dress modestly also by wearing loose cloving and men also have certain parts of the body that they aren't allowed to display for example they can't display above their elbows and anything above their knees.

And Islam seeks to remove sexual relations that take place outside of marriage and babies that are the product of relationships where neither party is married to each other.

Our prophet peace be upon him advised the young men to get married as soon as possible as a means to protect themselves from sexual relations with women outside of marriage.

And if they didn't have the means to marry he said they should fast because fasting decreases your sexual appetite and lowers your testosterone.
Reply

qarasz
08-02-2009, 10:22 AM
jeff d....
i accept ur appreciation , but my knowledge is limited.
i undersatood that Allah/god has sent his revelation as Quran
Allah has created HEaven & earth & Quran...........human being & each Human being born not because his wish , but wish of Allah.

each man is born not with wish of he himself/his parents.......
BUT ALLAH SUBHAN THAHALLA...CREATED.....HEAVEN&EARTH...MAN AND PROPOSED TERM FOR EACH.....BOTH LIVING & NON LIVING.


MAN IS UNAWARE ABOUT HIS MENTAL & PHYSICAL CAPABOLITIES, WEAKENESS ETC.......
MAN UNDERSTOOD THAT....HIS HAND WILL GET HURT WEN HE PUT HIS HAND ON FIRE......MAN IS UNAWARE ABOUT HIS MENTAL & PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES.

SO, RATHER THAN THINKING UNDIFENED WAYS.....ITS GOOD TO FOLLW CREATORS GUIDANCE...WITH PRAYERS TO HIM & DEEDS AS PER HIS GUIDENCE.....BOTH PLEASINBG HIM.

ALLAH IS ALL KNOWING

SO MAKE UR DEEDS& PRAYERS AS PER INSTRUCTION OF ALLAH...BECS ALLAH CREATED ALL..& PROPOSED ALL.

HE KNOW WANT MAN DOESNT KNOW.

1st WEARING HIJAB IS INSTRUCTION ALLAH...THE RATIONALE OF THAT WILL BE WITH ALLAH.
2nd IF U THINK U CA N UNDERSTAND,,..HIJAB BRING WOMEN IN TO HER MODESTY.

U CAN GET MANY POSITIVE RATHER THAN NEGTIVE ANSWER......

ALLAH CREATOR OF ALL.
FOLOW HIS GUIDENCE..IN UR DEEDS(AS PER HIS GUIDANCE) & PRAYERS(AS PER INSTURCTION)

ALLAH CREATOR OF ALL

FATE IS FROM HIM......IF HAV GOOD /BAD DAY IN LIFE...ALLWAYS KEEP SAYING ALLHAMDULLILAH & MAINTAIN UR PRAYERS & DEEDS.

ALL FOLLOWERS HAV GOOD LIFE HERE AFTER , IF THEY FOLLOWED THEIR RELIGION WITHOUT COMPROMISE

JAZAK ALLAH GHAIR
Reply

Grimjack
08-03-2009, 02:55 AM
hearing crap like this gets me vexxed if it was ok I'd hunt them down and slaughter them both, thats if I'm able to. I don't want to boast but I'm sure any brother here would feel like that after hearing such filth in one of the holiest places on earth
I think whats more disturbing than your desire to murder this woman innocent woman is the fact that not one person in this thread as of yet has condemned your statement.
Reply

Ramadhan
08-03-2009, 08:46 AM
Originally Posted by Grimjack
I think whats more disturbing than your desire to murder this woman innocent woman is the fact that not one person in this thread as of yet has condemned your statement.
Read again carefully, he said
"if it was ok"
so he knows that it's forbidden in Islam and/or formal law to do what he wants to do and he is not going to do it. So what's the crime in it?
However, I agree with you that it is not such a pleasant thought.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-03-2009, 02:10 PM
Not one person? I'm pretty sure I saw people speak against that.
Reply

Salahudeen
08-03-2009, 08:31 PM
and just because some 1 says something doesn't mean that they are neccessarily going to do it, I've heard people say countless times "I'M GONNA KILL HIM" but they never actually do. they use the extreme expression to express their anger but in reality they have no actual intention of killing any one. They just wish to demonstrate how upset they are at what has occurred.
Reply

Grimjack
08-03-2009, 09:42 PM
Originally Posted by naidamar
Read again carefully, he said
"if it was ok"
so he knows that it's forbidden in Islam and/or formal law to do what he wants to do and he is not going to do it. So what's the crime in it?
However, I agree with you that it is not such a pleasant thought.
Yes, if it weren't for the fact that the law restricts him from it this brute would murder that poor woman. The fact that he desires to do it is whats disturbing.
Reply

Grimjack
08-03-2009, 09:53 PM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
Not one person? I'm pretty sure I saw people speak against that.
I skimmed back through the thread and I saw only one person, a page or two later, speak out against it. I saw a few people quote him, not to condemn him, but to simply agree that the girls actions were disgusting.

What upsets me is the level of apathy or indifference that is shown when people say things like that. Rather than ostracizing him for being a bloodthirsty lunatic, he is for the most part quietly tolerated.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-03-2009, 09:57 PM
I didnt reply to him doesnt mean I didnt think it was strange. Just as the rest I'm pretty sure did the same. I don't think its fair for you to generalize everyone. Unfortunately you cant read our brains and nor can I read yours. So I think it's best you stop now ;)
Reply

جوري
08-03-2009, 10:13 PM
Originally Posted by Grimjack
I skimmed back through the thread and I saw only one person, a page or two later, speak out against it. I saw a few people quote him, not to condemn him, but to simply agree that the girls actions were disgusting.

What upsets me is the level of apathy or indifference that is shown when people say things like that. Rather than ostracizing him for being a bloodthirsty lunatic, he is for the most part quietly tolerated.
He is a bloodthirsty lunatic? is that a fact?
is it also a fact that you are a pervert who is obviously upset about said words because it touched you personally since you enjoy taking women to hotel rooms and living in sin?

It is easy to come up with a whole scenario most assuredly.. I wouldn't be too liberal with my words if I dislike for others to be judge and jury over mine as well.. in fact I have already seen this as a comment to his:

Originally Posted by Abdul Fattah
Selam aleykum

We don't know, we don't know, we don't know. Maybe this person just reverted? Just because you speak Arabic doesn't guarantee that you're raised Islamicly. So have patience and don't judge, instead give advice with diplomacy.
are you picking what you want to read, or just want to pick a fight with someone? If you don't like the lunatics here, then don't be a member here!

all the best
Reply

aadil77
08-03-2009, 10:23 PM
woh whats goin on here, lol im not a 'bloodthirsty lunatic' it was just a reaction to readin that crap for the first time

if the two hoe's were married they would have got stoned to death, what hav you gotta say about that Grimjak?
Reply

Grimjack
08-03-2009, 10:28 PM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
I didnt reply to him doesnt mean I didnt think it was strange. Just as the rest I'm pretty sure did the same. I don't think its fair for you to generalize everyone. Unfortunately you cant read our brains and nor can I read yours. So I think it's best you stop now ;)
See, when I first read what he said I didn't think "Hey that's strange...",

I was horrified.
Reply

Tony
08-03-2009, 10:34 PM
Originally Posted by aadil77
woh whats goin on here, lol im not a 'bloodthirsty lunatic' it was just a reaction to readin that crap for the first time

if the two hoe's were married they would have got stoned to death, what hav you gotta say about that Grimjak?

lol, oh aadil have you been charging intot he kafir mounted an a camel beheading people with a broad sword again whilst barking like an otter:p, im disapointed you said that those days were over, tut tut. You really are a blood thirsty lunatic
Reply

Grimjack
08-03-2009, 10:42 PM
He is a bloodthirsty lunatic? is that a fact?
is it also a fact that you are a pervert who is obviously upset about said words because it touched you personally since you enjoy taking women to hotel rooms and living in sin?
Yea, I'm sure that's it.
woh whats goin on here, lol im not a 'bloodthirsty lunatic' it was just a reaction to readin that crap for the first time

if the two hoe's were married they would have got stoned to death, what hav you gotta say about that Grimjak?
I can understand how someone might overreact a bit when they hear something they find objectionable (though I think two people having sex is hardly something to get upset about) but what you do was more than just a bit of an overreaction.
Reply

جوري
08-03-2009, 10:50 PM
Originally Posted by Grimjack
Yea, I'm sure that's it.
Glad you agree..

I can understand how someone might overreact a bit when they hear something they find objectionable (though I think two people having sex is hardly something to get upset about) but what you do was more than just a bit of an overreaction.
Overreacting here seems more like a clear perception into your own psyche!

all the best
Reply

aadil77
08-03-2009, 10:59 PM
Originally Posted by Tony
lol, oh aadil have you been charging intot he kafir mounted an a camel beheading people with a broad sword again whilst barking like an otter:p, im disapointed you said that those days were over, tut tut. You really are a blood thirsty lunatic
lol wot? go back to sleep

and camel? come on thats an insult, this is the 21st cenury you need atleast somethin like a quad bike :p
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-04-2009, 12:01 AM
Originally Posted by Grimjack
See, when I first read what he said I didn't think "Hey that's strange...",

I was horrified.
Illicit relations is more horrifying. He had a reaction to something which you seem to have a really big issue with. I hardly doubt he would do it. But you seem to be overreacting more than any of us combined.
Reply

IslamicRevival
08-04-2009, 12:17 AM
I would treat them the same way i treat everyone. With respect.

I was asked by a Non hijabi , Non Muslim girl the other day if i had a cigarette or not. I said "No I haven't, Sorry"

Because she had no hijab and she isn't a Muslim it doesn't mean i had to treat her differently. We have no right to judge anyone. That is up to Allah SWT

Treat everyone with respect, regardless of anything else.
Reply

Grofica
08-05-2009, 03:09 AM
Originally Posted by T.I.A
What is the point of wearing hijaab if your hair is being seen?
oh there are a lot of women that leave their hair seen... I was in Dubai last month (july) and it was everywhere... (and i dont mean the tourists) my hubby thinks its probably some "in fashion" thing right now...

ahhhhh i will never get the hang of fashion.... sorry but jeans and a shirt work for me... (my hubby says im a redneck.) he he he he he;D
Reply

Grimjack
08-07-2009, 01:52 AM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
Illicit relations is more horrifying. He had a reaction to something which you seem to have a really big issue with. I hardly doubt he would do it. But you seem to be overreacting more than any of us combined.
Personally, and this is just me, I think desire for murder is scarier than a couple having sex together.

But hey, I guess I'm just weird like that.
Reply

Grimjack
08-07-2009, 01:55 AM
Overreacting here seems more like a clear perception into your own psyche!

all the best
Again, I'm not a big fan of death threats, especially ones made over something as trivial as premarital sex.

I only responded further because of all the people jumping out to make excuses for that person.
Reply

جوري
08-07-2009, 02:26 AM
Originally Posted by Grimjack
Again, I'm not a big fan of death threats, especially ones made over something as trivial as premarital sex.

I only responded further because of all the people jumping out to make excuses for that person.
what you find or don't find trivial is really your own business to be dealt with on your own private time. The topics on this board are only concerned with Muslims engaging in pre-marital sex.. since you don't understand the laws, how they work and under what circumstances, as is apparent from your exaggerated reaction to someone expressing an emotion then you should refrain from sharing your pearls or expressing your fears all together. You are absurd at best!
You seem uncomfortable here -- if you don't like the replies you are reading then don't be a member here!



all the best
Reply

MMohammed
08-07-2009, 11:34 AM
If I meet a Muslimah who is a non-hijabi.I will advise her to wear it and go through the Quran and Ahadith.I will not force her to wear.Because I know forcing has no result.When you tell her the advantages of wearing it, she will definitely wear it.
Reply

- IqRa -
08-07-2009, 11:45 AM
And if she doesn't. You shouldn't leave it up to choice of the sister. Force her to wear it when she is about 11, only if she wear it will she understand the importance of it.
Reply

MMohammed
08-07-2009, 12:56 PM
We cannot force a girl to cover her face until unless she reaches puberty.
If she doesnt, I will then try my best to tell her.I will keep on tryin until I succeed.
Reply

Salahudeen
08-10-2009, 02:34 PM
You know if a women doesn't cover up it's not just her that will get questioned about it??

There's a hadith that says there will be four who are punished for a lady who doesn't wear hijaab, the father, her brother, her husband and her son. Sheikh Yusuf estes talks about it in this vid http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUZ3gfoRl0c
Reply

NoorInaya
08-10-2009, 02:46 PM
Asalaamu Alaikam,

We should treat all with respect, regardless of what they are wearing (or not wearing). I am friends with both hijabis and non-hijabis. I do not make that distinction. Although I know and understand that hijab is not a "personal choice," I do not feel that anyone has the right to judge anyone else based on the clothes that they are wearing.

We should be mindful, as well, that simply wearing a scarf on our heads does not make us "perfect Muslims," or for that matter, even "good Muslims." Hijab does not act like a "fitnah shield" or anything, and we can still get up to bad things while wearing it.

I know Muslim women who do not cover, yet pray five times a day, fast every day in Ramadhan, do lots of charity, etc. And I also know hijabis who smoke, hardly pray, complain when Ramadhan rolls around, backbite about their friends, etc.

As I like to say, "hijab takes iman, but iman does not take hijab."

For whatever reason, some women choose not to cover, and we should not judge them. We should be their friends, and treat them with kindness. Maybe in being their friends, we can help to inspire them to also wear hijab, inshAllah. Every person has their struggles, and for some women, they struggle with hijab. Maybe they desperately want to cover, but need some encouragement. We can offer that encouragement, inshAllah.

By being cruel or judgmental, we are encouraging them to never cover, because they may have it in their minds, "I never want to be like those sisters who think that they are better than everybody else because of a scrap of fabric on their heads and long sleeves!"

Be very kind to your sisters, regardless of their dress.

wasalaamz,
Reply

MMohammed
08-10-2009, 04:52 PM
I meant that if you force someone to do anything they wont do it until they will be satisfied.So I will first tell them it's benefits.
Reply

rpwelton
08-10-2009, 05:03 PM
Originally Posted by MMohammed
If I meet a Muslimah who is a non-hijabi.I will advise her to wear it and go through the Quran and Ahadith.I will not force her to wear.Because I know forcing has no result.When you tell her the advantages of wearing it, she will definitely wear it.
I'm sorry but a brother saying this to a sister will mean very little. It's our hijabi sisters that should be educating the non-hijabi sisters about the importance of hijab.

And no, she will not definitely wear it in all cases when presented with proof. This issue is more delicate to the sisters than you realize; it is not a simple matter.
Reply

MMohammed
08-10-2009, 05:12 PM
I know its obligatory.But she wont wear if you force.I am not saying that I will stop if she wont wear.I will finish by seeing her wearing the Hijab,
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-10-2009, 11:19 PM
Originally Posted by rpwelton
I'm sorry but a brother saying this to a sister will mean very little. It's our hijabi sisters that should be educating the non-hijabi sisters about the importance of hijab.

And no, she will not definitely wear it in all cases when presented with proof. This issue is more delicate to the sisters than you realize; it is not a simple matter.
I agree completely!

Those who willingly want to ignore the hijab will ignore it...if they want nothing to do with it...others might contemplate it and come around to it sooner or later.
Reply

Proud of Islam
08-15-2009, 06:44 PM
Originally Posted by HopeFul
:sl:


I encountered a situation last weekend. I went to the halal shop and instead of the normal brother serving this time, it was a sister. She was arab speaking I think probably Lebanon origin. I have only been to the shop 2, 3 times, with my husband and I was shocked at the women who came in there I only saw this time. Arabic speakers, they were dressed very improperly. The counter girl must have been around 21, 22 years old and had a halter top!!! I was amazed, she said salam and I felt a frown on my face automatically. I am so ashamed now.

It;s ignorance, i never did this before, but I thought, man your language is arabic, I am even deprived of this, you can understand all the ahdeeth and quraan first hand, and yet you stand here like this???

to make her feel guilty I went into the shop again, without my family and bought a Quraan and some islamic CDs for my kids. This time I tried to smile.

I wanted to ask all the hijabi and niqabis how would you treat a non hijabi muslim woman who dresses indecently.

Do you also feel sour? I normally feel very open minded and try and treat them well, so tey can be attracted towards hijab, but I feel so guilty now, I dont know why I was feeling kinda biased.

I was wondering what the etiquettes were for encountering non hijabi sisters...

JazakAllah

:w:
:wa:
Oh my sister I understand your feeling.. But as they said in the previous posts, Arabic people are not necessarily to be good Muslims, and unfortunately we see this everyday..
I usually see in my university some non-hejabi girls who are Muslims! And as you said, they understand the holy Quran and Hadiths very well and they memorize some of them by heart.. But some people are simply fractious! You said that you are even deprived of reading the original Arabic verses and hadiths, but let me tell you that you are not deprived insha Allah my dear.. Allah has guided you to the straight path, and you wear hejab which some Arabic Muslims are deprived of the reward of wearing it!
In each country you can see people with good or bad morals regardless of their nationality.. It's right that the Holy Quran is Arabic, but Islam is global and you have the translations, and you are better than many Arabic people.. This shows us how Allah is The All-Just.. It's fair when all people are likely to obey Allah or not regardless whether they are Arabs or not.. Bukhari for example is not Arabic although, as we all know, he is the best scholar of Hadiths..
As I told you, I see some Muslim girls without hejabs in the university, but here usually their clothes are not very indecently.. I always try to treat them nicely and advise them either directly or indirectly, depending on the situation.. But still in a nice way because this encourages them to be nice and good Muslims.. I feel that if a non-hejabi girl saw a bad treatment from me to her, she might think that I am not happy with my hejab, I might be forced to wear it, and I am grudging her because she is free! Some girls think in this way, believe me! Therefore, I should show her that I am VERY happy with my hejab, I am living a very nice life, and I am enjoying my time with the all including her.. It's very influential if I show her with a smile that she is doing a bad thing, and she is deprived of the happiness that I feel :sunny:

and bought a Quraan and some islamic CDs for my kids
May Allah protect your kids & make them true Muslims insha Allah :)


----------------------------------------------------------------

Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…
Reply

mahfuja
08-15-2009, 07:10 PM
We can't make excuses for those who choose not to wear hijaab but we can give them dawah without being patronising/ "lecturing" them/ acting superior than them. We can give them dawah by our actions/speech etc.

Since I've been at uni I have seen so many sisters reform themselves masha'Allah and resort to modest clothing/hijaab. Some do it all togehter and get rid of everything immodest replacing with everything modest and some do it in a sequence ie loose clothing first then move on to the head covering etc.

In a perfect world yes we should all be covering ourselves up but that isn't really the case. We tend to change our exterior when we feel ready and understand why it is a necessity to cover up and obey the orders of our Lord.

Undermining sisters and looking down on the ones that dont dress like a Muslimah can actually turn them away instead we should treat them as we would treat any other practicing pious sister ...
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-25-2013, 05:58 PM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-30-2009, 04:07 AM
  3. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-11-2008, 05:06 PM
HeartHijab.com | Hijab Sale | Pound Shop | UK Wholesale Certified Face Masks, Hand Sanitiser & PPE

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!