PDA

View Full Version : Major issue with wife after conversion talk



markislam
09-21-2009, 11:38 PM
so finally today i told my wife that i converted to Islam.

I told her so many things.

she is hurt bad and she is still crying. she says muslims worship the moon god , and asked why they have the moon.

She says i am dead to her now, don't know what to do. I told her i want to be in the islamic community she said **** it and burst crying.

She asked me about slaying of animals and about Jesus dying on the cross.

She asked me if slaying of animals is allowed in Islam and i said no mohammed said no :phew

i am so confused now. i feel like running away some where so i cant see any one.

can some one guide me :cry:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
GuestFellow
09-21-2009, 11:58 PM
Salaam.

Well I think she is just shocked. She will calm down eventually. You need to clear up some misconceptions she has about Islam. I would talk to her more about Islam when she is calmed down...

You'll be fine Inshallah. Ask her about all the misconceptions she has about Islam. Post them all on the forum and one by one we will tackle each misconception she has of Islam.
Reply

Aisha20
09-22-2009, 12:18 AM
Give her time. She is still shocked!
Reply

//-Asif-\\
09-22-2009, 12:28 AM
Wow.

Brother, I'm happy that you converted and all and as it's been said your wife is in shock that needs to be worn off. So from fear of what she'd say and whatnot, all this time you had studied and learned about Islam without her being the least bit aware of your interest, nor did you at least have small chit chats about findings and the like. I'm sure this shock would've been prevented if this wasn't all done in seclusion. I mean it is your wife after all, ya'll should be able to share everything together amicably.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
markislam
09-22-2009, 12:59 AM
She is upset with me and not even talking to me. the biggest trouble is when the family knows about my conversion, they will swarm like bees from all over the place :(
Reply

Cabdullahi
09-22-2009, 01:16 AM
who told her about the moon god hype

"See you not that to Allah bow down in worship all things in the heavens and on earth, the sun, the moon, the stars.......... " (22:18)

"Allah is He, who created the sun, the moon, and the stars (all) governed by laws under His commandment." (7:54)
Reply

kwolney01
09-22-2009, 01:35 AM
As the others have said she is clearly in shock and I would give her some time to calm down. I would try to give her some information on Islam and let her know why you converted.

I'm sorry, is she Christian brother? If she is, tell her about the similarities between Islam and Christianity and that Muslims believe in One God just as Christians do. It is surprising that she never knew you were learning about Islam and that you never told her about it.

I would do the same to your family. Tell them about Islam and try to relate to them.

I wish you the best brother and may Allah make things easy on you Ameen.
Reply

جوري
09-22-2009, 01:40 AM
Moon God? as absurd as that is, I still find Jesus as a god even more absurd..
nonetheless, you can surely dispel her doubts.. I think you are not firm with her about your convictions, this isn't a matter where she frankly has a say.. in fact this isn't a matter where anyone has a say save for the individual!
what a shame that the church is so ashamed of its own beliefs, it has to makeup for its short comings by spreading false rumors about other religions.. shouldn't that tell her something about Christianity rather than islam?


6:96 He it is that cleaveth the daybreak (from the dark): He makes the night for rest and tranquillity, and the sun and moon for the reckoning (of time): such is the judgment and ordering of (Him), the Exalted in Power, the Omniscient.





7:54
Your Guardian-Lord is Allah, Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days, then He established Himself on the Throne (of authority): He draweth the night as a veil o'er the day, each seeking the other in rapid succession: He created the sun, the moon, and the stars, (all) governed by laws under His Command. Is it not His to create and to govern? Blessed be Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds!





10:5


It is He Who made the sun to be a shining glory and the moon to be a light (of beauty), and measured out stages for it; that ye might know the number of years and the count (of time). Nowise did Allah create this but in truth and righteousness. (Thus) doth He explain His Signs in detail, for those who understand.










13: 2

Allah is He Who raised the heavens without any pillars that ye can see; then He established Himself on the Throne (of Authority); He has subjected the sun and the moon (to His Law)! Each one runs (its course) for a term appointed. He doth regulate all affairs, explaining the Signs in detail, that ye may believe with certainty in the meeting with your Lord.


21:33

It is He Who created the Night and the Day, and the sun and the moon: all (the celestial bodies) swim along, each in its rounded course.



25:61



Blessed is He Who made constellations in the skies, and placed therein a Lamp and a Moon giving light;





35:13



He merges Night into Day, and He merges Day into Night, and He has subjected the sun and the moon (to His Law): each one runs its course for a term appointed. Such is Allah your Lord: to Him belongs all Dominion. And those whom ye invoke besides Him have not the least power.



41:37


Among His Signs are the Night and the Day, and the Sun and the Moon. Adore not the sun and the moon, but adore Allah, Who created them, if it is Him ye wish to serve.


what is the excuse for ignorance after this?
You'd think their orientalists would browse the Noble Quran before they malign it and render us Idol worshipers the likes of them ..

sob7an Allah..what impressionable malleable patsies buy into this crap!

I feel rather offended that such people still exist!
Reply

kawaiigardiner
09-22-2009, 01:42 AM
Originally Posted by markislam
She is upset with me and not even talking to me. the biggest trouble is when the family knows about my conversion, they will swarm like bees from all over the place :(
It sounds like your wife is a Christian fundamentalist who no how much evidence you provide will only change her mind of her own accord. I was going to ask you to quote the pope who made it clear that Muslims, Jews and Christians all worship the same God.
Reply

YusufNoor
09-22-2009, 02:07 AM
:sl:

Sabr Akhi,

give her a little time to regain her composure. she may ask questions that you don't know the answer to. don't lie, and if you are unsure, just say i don't know.

. she says muslims worship the moon god , and asked why they have the moon.
the moon [cresent] thingy is just there because we still use the lunar calendar and therefore people actually look for the cresent for new months to begin, as for having it all over flags and Masjids, it's bidaah.

She says i am dead to her now, don't know what to do. I told her i want to be in the islamic community she said **** it and burst crying.

She asked me about slaying of animals and about Jesus dying on the cross.
we don't believe that Jesus died on the cross. you MAY have a time explaining that one

She asked me if slaying of animals is allowed in Islam and i said no Mohammed said no
you are not allowed to kill anyone or anything except in the name of Allah. IF she is meaning "halal" slaughter, then your answer was incorrect. the Halal way is the MOST merciful way to kill an animal. it shouldn't be a problem once you've explained it.


here's a link to some shows by Yusuf Estes, former Christian Minister. he explains all about Islam in them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhz3_...F0E4327E0B7A77

most of your questions can be answered here, especially the Jesus question [well, except the crucifixion part].

actually, use this link:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...F0E4327E0B7A77

here's an EXCELLENT lecture by Abdur Raheem Green, a former Christian, called Islam: The Religion of Truth:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgj6p3JTLg

he further explains most of the points that he makes from that lecure in this series, The Proof that Islam is True:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55684

May Allah make it easy on you and may He guide and assist you!

:wa:
Reply

Humbler_359
09-22-2009, 02:26 AM
:sl:

Yes, in fact, alot of Christians believe that Muslims are worshipping Moon even my friends used to be asked this same questions because they were mislead by their own churches and websites in false propagandas.

Take your time and relax for a while, I had sort of experiences with "shocked", it will get better later when you both willing to listen, learn, and explain, Insha'Allah!
Reply

markislam
09-22-2009, 05:10 AM
she says i am selfish and i did not think of family but my question is how i am i selfish when it comes of matter of faith it is not selfish.

She said i am so sad we cant even see each other , i asked her cant see each other where, she said in heaven :(.

I told her God decides who goes to heaven not us.

She is so depressed because of it she vomited two times yesterday night :(. I feel so guilty i should not have told her this now.

but again i had to tell her one day or the other.
Reply

cat eyes
09-22-2009, 07:24 AM
Originally Posted by markislam
she says i am selfish and i did not think of family but my question is how i am i selfish when it comes of matter of faith it is not selfish.

She said i am so sad we cant even see each other , i asked her cant see each other where, she said in heaven :(.

I told her God decides who goes to heaven not us.

She is so depressed because of it she vomited two times yesterday night :(. I feel so guilty i should not have told her this now.

but again i had to tell her one day or the other.
I wonder what ignorant people told her we worship the moon. You see these people are so use 2 of worshipping idols and humans that they cant see anything past that, weathr its saints or prophet's. They cant imagine a god that dont have human like features and elephant headz and you name it. There god has 2 look like something in this world. They are so deluded from the truth. I would give her time and when she ready you can tell her about islam.
Reply

markislam
09-22-2009, 07:42 AM
I totally agree with you, people want to think of god as a physical person who they can see they dont want to accept the real God who does not have human like features. i was thinking of the same today
Reply

peaceandlove
09-22-2009, 09:51 AM
Originally Posted by markislam
so finally today i told my wife that i converted to Islam.

I told her so many things.

she is hurt bad and she is still crying. she says muslims worship the moon god , and asked why they have the moon.

She says i am dead to her now, don't know what to do. I told her i want to be in the islamic community she said **** it and burst crying.

She asked me about slaying of animals and about Jesus dying on the cross.

She asked me if slaying of animals is allowed in Islam and i said no mohammed said no :phew

i am so confused now. i feel like running away some where so i cant see any one.

can some one guide me :cry:
:sl: brother

Well , reading your message its seems that your wife has many many mis-conceptions about Islam, try to remove his mis-conceptions by giving him some books or online materials , tell him that what he was thinking was wrong and i think your wife just see whatever on media accept it , prove him that all that he was thinking was wrong.

Ask him the question , for which she was confused , then tell him that she was thinking wrong.

If you need any help from us , we will try our best to help you.

Ask help from Allah to turn his heart/mind.

May Allah help you and guide us all toward the right path.
Reply

markislam
09-22-2009, 01:57 PM
she is upset that i converted and it was a surprise for her.

well today morning she asked me why did i leave God and go to a totally different religion. I said Islam is not a religion , she said then why do you pray 5 times a day and face mecca when you pray if it is not a religion, you have to cleanse your self when you pray , she said God looks at your heart not if you cleansed or not.

I told her Islam is all about following one God, then she says then follow one God why be in Islam which is a religion.

She says she always felt the presence of Evil spirit around muslims :(

She says she does not trust me any more :(
Reply

UmmSqueakster
09-22-2009, 01:59 PM
To the muslims on this forum - how would you react if your spouse converted to christianity? You'd probably have a very hard time accepting that fact, wouldn't you?

Mark, as I've offered before, I would be happy to email with your wife, so that she could have the opportunity to speak with an american woman, born and raised, who just so happens to be a muslim. I think part of the shock is that she has some ideas about what islam is that are untrue, and inshaAllah with knowing real muslims, that can be overcome.

http://umms.wordpress.com/contact/

The other is that you've hurt her in changing something that is obviously important to her. That you will have to work on yourself.
Reply

convert
09-22-2009, 02:10 PM
Originally Posted by markislam
she says i am selfish and i did not think of family but my question is how i am i selfish when it comes of matter of faith it is not selfish.

She said i am so sad we cant even see each other , i asked her cant see each other where, she said in heaven :(.

I told her God decides who goes to heaven not us.

She is so depressed because of it she vomited two times yesterday night :(. I feel so guilty i should not have told her this now.

but again i had to tell her one day or the other.
Sounds like she is playing emotional games with you to be honest.

You have NOT acted wrong in any manner. It is tough for converts such as you and I to tell family members of the conversion. It took me nearly a year to tell my mother.

Do not grovel to her akhi. Just be patient and give dawah in the best manner you see fit. Do not let her play games with you though, make sure to be direct and demand her to be direct as well. At all times, have taqwa. I will remember you in my duas. My mother had problems at first but she now defends islam when people attack it.
Reply

Hamas
09-22-2009, 02:13 PM
Give her some time and space to get her head round it and dont be in her face 24/7 in the meantime think about how you can answear questions and maybe expose her somehow to things that will help her to become more convinced the bros and sis here can help you with that too but always make dua first and ask Allah to guide you.
Reply

czgibson
09-22-2009, 02:36 PM
Geetings,
Originally Posted by markislam
she is upset that i converted and it was a surprise for her.
You could perhaps have softened the blow by letting her know you were getting interested in Islam. If she had known you were thinking about converting for a while before it happened it would have been a lot easier for her.

Maybe you did do this, though - I don't know all the details.

well today morning she asked me why did i leave God and go to a totally different religion. I said Islam is not a religion , she said then why do you pray 5 times a day and face mecca when you pray if it is not a religion, you have to cleanse your self when you pray , she said God looks at your heart not if you cleansed or not.
I don't know what your wife's religion is, but it's very likely that you both worship the same god, no?

I told her Islam is all about following one God, then she says then follow one God why be in Islam which is a religion.
Because Islam is a purely monotheistic religion?

She says she always felt the presence of Evil spirit around muslims :(

She says she does not trust me any more :(
It's a difficult situation and I hope things work out for both of you. All the best.

Peace
Reply

markislam
09-22-2009, 02:42 PM
She says she lost me, i told her what if i was dead.

She says she is sad because she cant grow in faith with me, i told her yes we can in this, she said no i dont want in Islam.
Reply

Mysterious Uk
09-22-2009, 04:17 PM
I don't have a clue about what she maybe feeling but it seems she might be afraid of the changes that might happen now. I guess you could just let her know that although there will be some changes you are still the same person, you can still do the same things together. You have told her you are muslim and whether you did it the 'right' way or not it doesnt matter now. Inshallah you will talk it through and work things out. Keep strong and give it a bit of time brother.
Reply

glo
09-22-2009, 04:37 PM
Originally Posted by markislam
She says she lost me, i told her what if i was dead.

She says she is sad because she cant grow in faith with me, i told her yes we can in this, she said no i dont want in Islam.
I agree with czgibson.

If you had shared more with your wife about your feelings, your thoughts and your faith journey then your conversion wouldn't have come as such a shock to her.

But you told her now, and that was better than leaving it even longer ...

I understand your wife's sadness about not being able to follow her faith with you. Perhaps you even feel the same sadness.
I am sure many devout people who desire to follow God through their religion and who believe that only their religion is true and all others false will feel the same.

I suggest that you show your wife that you still love her and want to be with her (from your previous posts I assume that you do), and let the two of you settle into the new situation.

I can actually imagine how hard this is for you, but if - only if - you are both willing and loving, you can make this work!
Reply

Humbler_359
09-22-2009, 05:42 PM
:sl: Brother Mark

Sir, we expect surely that this could happen when your wife learned you believe in Islam. My advice calmly is sit down and talk with each other, tell her what do you see in Christian Catholics I assume? Why Pope, third person in between you and God? Why too many idols with cross? Why black people church (think Jesus is black due to Middle East) and other believe in imagine (Jesus is white and pure)?

BTW, tell her this verses if she know in Bible.

"And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? There is none good but one, that is God." (Mark 10:18).

"And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; the Lord our God is one Lord:" (Mark 12:29)

"Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying Eli, Eli, lama sabachtani? . . ." (Matthew 27:46)- (why are you forsaking me?)

Ask her, why difference systems in Catholics (Jesus/Mother Mary), Baptist (from Catholics), Jehovah Witness (believe Jesus is prophet and son of God), Mormon, Evanglical, Methodist, KKK (to speak), etc.

Does this mean, all these sections will go to Heaven for sure?

Read here

Learn more about the history of Christianity and then judge on Islam's Qur'an. It would be helpful for her to realize. She could understand the differences.

Thus, Islam means submission to God only.
Reply

Santoku
09-22-2009, 11:02 PM
Originally Posted by markislam
she is upset that i converted and it was a surprise for her.

well today morning she asked me why did i leave God and go to a totally different religion. I said Islam is not a religion , she said then why do you pray 5 times a day and face mecca when you pray if it is not a religion, you have to cleanse your self when you pray , she said God looks at your heart not if you cleansed or not.

I told her Islam is all about following one God, then she says then follow one God why be in Islam which is a religion.

She says she always felt the presence of Evil spirit around muslims :(

She says she does not trust me any more :(
Wewll it looks as if I am not allowed to put her point of view, that she is hurt and upset that you kept all of this secret from her. So what the heck!
Reply

YusufNoor
09-23-2009, 03:16 AM
Originally Posted by markislam
she is upset that i converted and it was a surprise for her.

so at some point, you never thought that it might be a good idea to bring the subject up? i imagine it was wee bit more than a surprise if you never even raised the subject.

well today morning she asked me why did i leave God and go to a totally different religion.

you did not leave God. Allah lead you to the truth.

I said Islam is not a religion,

actually, it IS a religion, BUT it is MORE than just plain religion. it is a way of life. we use the word, Deen. i'm sure that is what you meant, but you need to explain it to her correctly if you can

she said then why do you pray 5 times a day and face mecca when you pray if it is not a religion,

people often confuse Salat with "prayer," the Arabic language is a better vehicle for describing the Deen. Salat is a formal worshiping of Allah, DUA is prayer.

you have to cleanse your self when you pray ,

we clean ourselves for Salah and not dua. Salah is more like church, in which some Christians STILL put on their "Sunday Best!" you just do it 35 times a week instead of once...

she said God looks at your heart not if you cleansed or not.

ABSOLUTELY, but for FORMAL worship, we do it according to the method taught by our Prophet. Jesus, did not attend the Temple unless he was ceremoniously clean. the Jews pray according to the way that Ezra taught them [which was instituted in place of what Moses taught them after the Babylonian captives were allowed to return home.]

I told her Islam is all about following one God, then she says then follow one God why be in Islam which is a religion.

because Islam is the ONLY Religion, OR Deen, that worships Allah Alone and without Partners.

She says she always felt the presence of Evil spirit around muslims :(

how does she know that? maybe it was just Shaytan clouding her mind because he was afraid of losing her.

She says she does not trust me any more :(
:sl:

Akhi, you blindsided your wife AND you have a hard time explaining Islam to her. that is a formula for disaster.

take some time, get composed and take some time to figure out how to teach her about Islam. you might not get another chance.

i posted some links to some Yusuf Estes' programs. i recommend that you watch them and IF possible, get your wife to watch them too. i am watching them with my wife and we enjoy his presentations. he has a knack for explaining things and for clearing up misunderstandings. this could be useful to you right now. [you can choose from different topics]

it is not like you came home and said that i want to be a Catholic instead of a Protestant. it's more like you came home and announced that you are a Jehovah's Witness, ONLY MORE TRAUMATIC for her. keep that in mind!

ask Allah for guidance and try to do a better job of explaining Islam to her.

:wa:
Reply

جوري
09-23-2009, 03:29 AM
^^^ excellent advise..

I suspect that your wife has been frequenting anti-Islamic sites, since no one talks of such nonsense as 'moongods' save questionable sites, I doubt that in this day and age any church would be so politically incorrect as to disseminate frank erroneous information (of course I could be wrong) but I doubt it was the topic of her church last week of which suddenly applied to you, in which case she probably suspected for sometime...

If you love this woman, I'd give it time and a great deal of patience.. many Islamophobes reverted to Islam (one of the brothers here posted such a thread just yesterday Masha'Allah, in which case your wife might one day become a sister to us).. but if you don't love her, and this is a further divide then I'd just cut my losses and move on, work it out so the kids aren't lost in the middle.. I suspect she might turn them against you anyway.. but if Allah swt guides them and you are a good example, then her efforts will most likely backfire on her...

and Allah swt knows best

:w:
Reply

syriana
09-23-2009, 03:31 AM
yea its just religious shock brother... be strong its all a trial on you.
Reply

markislam
09-23-2009, 06:29 AM
I had a big discussion with her yesterday about Islam I told her it is about submission to God's will.

She shows me the bible to show references where Jesus talks about I and the father are one.

I asked her show me one verse in the bible where Jesus asks us to worship him.

She wants me to come to christianity.

After knowing the truth i dont want to back slide. I would rather face persecussion here on this earth than go to hell.

She does not want to hear the word Allah she is ok with God lol
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
09-23-2009, 08:00 AM
:sl:
^ akhee, everything and everyone in our lives will be a trial for us, be it to do with reverted spouses or otherwise. these are just tests from allah. the end is all that matters --->Make sure allah is pleased with you, for by allah, no one will be there for you when you stand before Him.
[S]you are the only one who will carry your sins. [/S]

having said that though, it doesnt mean you have to treat her disrespectfully...do expect that she will be fice and passionate, but as long as she isn't insulting Islam than explain islam to her as kindly as possible...
Reply

sana safdar
09-23-2009, 08:16 AM
bhai kia yaha urdu me threads nahi hain ?
Reply

Caller الداعي
09-23-2009, 09:30 AM
salams bro
mashalla uve takin a very big step in the eyes of Allah obstacles will come to u it will not be easy for her to accept over night give her time and show her good character and tell her how u feel and listen to what she says .
remember the lives of the sahabah when they accepted islam !
May Allah guide ur wife 2
Reply

Santoku
09-23-2009, 09:34 AM
Originally Posted by syriana
yea its just religious shock brother... be strong its all a trial on you.
And it is not a shock for her? She has no right to feel betrayed that her husband never saw fit to discuss this with her or even invite her on the journey with him?
Reply

'Abd-al Latif
09-23-2009, 09:54 AM
Originally Posted by Santoku
And it is not a shock for her? She has no right to feel betrayed that her husband never saw fit to discuss this with her or even invite her on the journey with him?
Is your intention just to argue? I somehow doubt that your reaction would be the same had markIslam converted to a religion other then Islam! If you have nothing good to say then my advice is not to say anything at all.

Accepting Islam isn't betrayal nor is it something to be 'shocked about'. It's a personal decision and not something you need to consult others about. What is this betrayal that you are talking about anyway? The fact that Islam says the best of muslims are those who are best to their wives or that Islam is the complete truth?!

The blind and the seeing are not the same and Allah guides to the straight path whom He wills. So stop disputing over matters which are of no concern to you!
Reply

Danah
09-23-2009, 01:55 PM
Originally Posted by markislam
I had a big discussion with her yesterday about Islam I told her it is about submission to God's will.

She shows me the bible to show references where Jesus talks about I and the father are one.

I asked her show me one verse in the bible where Jesus asks us to worship him.
Then I strongly recommend you to watch this Video for Dr Zakir Naik that talked about the same issue you and your wife had talked about, just 26 min video not that long one

Media Tags are no longer supported


and it will be even better if she watch it with you

May Allah make it easy for you to overcome this obstacle brother
Reply

markislam
09-23-2009, 08:35 PM
i will show her this today
Reply

Eric H
09-23-2009, 11:18 PM
Greetings and peace be with you markislam; I am so sorry to hear that your faith is causing problems in your marraige.

i will show her this today
I have watched the Dr. Zakir Naik video, I would urge caution about showing her this in the near future. It is going to sound like you are trying to convert her, and if she is still feeling bad about your conversion, this video may seem like pouring petrol on a burning fire. I sense you have to do some making up first.

It is obvious Dr. Zakir is a very talented and gifted man, and he is very encouraging to fellow Muslims. I can only talk from my own Christian perception, that his arguments would not convince me.

Please feel free to ignore this totally, as I do not know you, or your wife, my thoughts may be wrong.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding, despite all our differences.

Eric
Reply

Danah
09-23-2009, 11:30 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you markislam; I am so sorry to hear that your faith is causing problems in your marraige.



I have watched the Dr. Zakir Naik video, I would urge caution about showing her this in the near future. It is going to sound like you are trying to convert her, and if she is still feeling bad about your conversion, this video may seem like pouring petrol on a burning fire. I sense you have to do some making up first.

It is obvious Dr. Zakir is a very talented and gifted man, and he is very encouraging to fellow Muslims. I can only talk from my own Christian perception, that his arguments would not convince me.

Please feel free to ignore this totally, as I do not know you, or your wife, my thoughts may be wrong.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding, despite all our differences.

Eric
Peace Eric,
I agree with some of what you said Eric, but I didnt have any intention to convert the wife by posting that video, I just recommended that video for her to show the issue of God and whether Jesus peace and blessing be upon him is a God or a prophet thats all. So its just a clarifying the misconception nothing more!

Then its up to her to whether accept it or not
Reply

جوري
09-23-2009, 11:31 PM
his wife isn't able to rise beyond 'moon God' and 'Muslims surrounded by evil'..
what exactly would you consider convincing or not convincing to someone whose judgment is completely clouded by hatred and frequenting islamophobic sites?

Perhaps the logical route is indeed not the best way to go.. I don't want to dispense with bad advise myself.. to me Islam is above any man or woman even if they be a parent or a spouse, I am not sure such a woman would even be worth the effort...(astghfor Allah) ..

:w:
Reply

czgibson
09-23-2009, 11:39 PM
Greetings,
Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
Is your intention just to argue? I somehow doubt that your reaction would be the same had markIslam converted to a religion other then Islam! If you have nothing good to say then my advice is not to say anything at all.
But Santoku is saying something good.

Why is there so little concern about the impact of the member's conversion on his wife? You have to think about both people if you expect any kind of resolution to be possible.

Accepting Islam isn't betrayal nor is it something to be 'shocked about'.
Tell that to the person whose spouse has just converted - that's the reaction she's displayed.

It's a personal decision and not something you need to consult others about. What is this betrayal that you are talking about anyway?
It's obvious to anyone - the betrayal involved in keeping a life-changing secret from one's wife.

If that is indeed what the member has done. We don't know - we weren't there.

As for the suggestion that this lady, who is apparently very upset, be sat down in front of a Zakir Naik video to be told why her religion is a load of nonsense, I can think of few things more likely to lead to complete disaster.

So what is the best course of action? At this late stage, it's hard to say. She has had a tremendous shock (rightly or wrongly), which is unlikely to dissipate before some time has elapsed.

I think the best thing markislam can do is to show his wife that he is still the same person she fell in love with despite his new direction. Also, behaving in accordance with the high moral standard that Islam encourages might just change her mind about the religion. Above all, if she can be convinced that she hasn't "lost" her husband, there may well be an amicable way out of this.

Peace
Reply

Eric H
09-23-2009, 11:48 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Danah;

I agree with some of what you said Eric, but I didnt have any intention to convert the wife by posting that video,
I know you have good intentions, and the video may be of use in the future, but I do believe that some bridges need to be built first. It is a great sadness to me when differences in religion, create huge barriers and conflict. We should be able to live side by side despite all our differences, we should still be able to love others who believe differently to ourselves.

We should use our faith to do good in this world, to forgive others, build relationships, build communities, help the marginalised and the oppressed. Instead we use our faith to find the time and energy to argue with those who have different beliefs.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric
Reply

Danah
09-23-2009, 11:56 PM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Danah;


I know you have good intentions, and the video may be of use in the future, but I do believe that some bridges need to be built first. It is a great sadness to me when differences in religion, create huge barriers and conflict. We should be able to live side by side despite all our differences, we should still be able to love others who believe differently to ourselves.

We should use our faith to do good in this world, to forgive others, build relationships, build communities, help the marginalised and the oppressed. Instead we use our faith to find the time and energy to argue with those who have different beliefs.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric
Peace Eric,

If he explains to her the purpose of the video "as I mentioned in my previous post" before showing it then there will be no problem to show it now. It will come out as clarfiying the misunderstanding she had about Islam.
Reply

Eric H
09-24-2009, 12:12 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Danah;

If he explains to her the purpose of the video "as I mentioned in my previous post" before showing it then there will be no problem to show it now. It will come out as clarfiying the misunderstanding she had about Islam
If your husband told you he had converted to Christiainity, and whilst you were still angry with him. He said watch this Christian video, it will clear up any misunderstandings. Can you truthfully say that you would sit down and calmly watch this Christian video?

In the spirit of praying for the sanctity of marraige.

Eric
Reply

Danah
09-24-2009, 12:19 AM
Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Danah;


If your husband told you he had converted to Christiainity, and whilst you were still angry with him. He said watch this Christian video, it will clear up any misunderstandings. Can you truthfully say that you would sit down and calmly watch this Christian video?

In the spirit of praying for the sanctity of marraige.

Eric
Yeah! Why not?
I will be waiting him to explain his reasons and what made him take such a decision.
Reply

Snowflake
09-24-2009, 01:19 AM
:sl: Brother Mark,

When Allah wills, He sets your affairs in order for you. All you have to do is draw closer to Him. Don't waste your time and energy in convincing your wife you've made the right choice. It is Allah Who guides and turns the hearts. Instead my brother, spend time glorifying and praising Allah in the quietness of the night. Glorify and praise Him with every breath you can. I swear by Allah brother, if anyone is easy to please, it is Allah. If you walk to Him, He runs to you. Man is ungrateful and hardest to please.

Be steadfast in your prayers. Avoid the prohibited. Glorify and praise Allah after each salah (subhanAllah 33x Alhumdulillah 33x, Allahu akbar 34x) Ayatul Kursi (verse of The Throne) and astaghfirullah as much as you want.

Draw closer still to your Creator with voluntary acts of worship... Glorify and praise Him by saying ' SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi subhanAllahil 'adheem'. Do one round of your prayers beads, two three? As much as you want. 'Astaghfirullah' 100/200/300? Keep going until you feel like stopping.

Say 'La ilaha illAllah' as many times as you want. Glorifying and praising Allah will draw you closer to Allah and Him to you. La ilaha illAllah rolls of the tongue so effortlessly. 500x a day is really easy. :statisfie

There are other tasbeehs (Fortress of The Muslim). I mentioned these for personal reasons. Leave the stresses bro and just turn to Allah. Everything is in His hands. What He wills will happen. You just worship Him and make dua to Allah to set your affairs in order. Glorify and praise Him in solitude and Tahajjud and you will see the results for yourself inshaAllah. Don't stress with the duniya. It isn't worth it. Go to Allah. He will take care of it. :)


:wa:
Reply

Rasema
09-24-2009, 01:20 AM
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahamtu Allahi wa barakatuh brother

I'm sure that in a while or so Allah will alleviate your sufferage. I know that deeply you feel good that you suffer because you're suffering for Allah's cause. You have to be very strong and not doubt in these occasions. There is something in you rheart that Allah likes and he guided you. I'm sure that from this sufferage you will benefit and become a stronger individual. You will be faced with many obstacled but it would be beautiful if you only turned to Allah and express your sadness to him alone without partneshiping or assosiating anyone to him.


For Him (alone) is the Word of Truth: any others that they call upon besides Him hear them no more than if they were to stretch forth their hands for water to reach their mouths but it reaches them not: for the prayer of those without Faith is nothing but misguidance. [13:14]


And when My servants ask you, I am indeed near (to them by My knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright. [2:186]
Reply

Eric H
09-24-2009, 01:37 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Danah;

If he explains to her the purpose of the video "as I mentioned in my previous post" before showing it then there will be no problem to show it now. It will come out as clarfiying the misunderstanding she had about Islam
You are very understanding, :smile:

We must pray for markislam and his wife, and the same God hears all our prayers.

In the spirit of praying for a just and loving outcome

Eric
Reply

markislam
09-24-2009, 07:07 AM
thanks for it


Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
:sl: Brother Mark,

When Allah wills, He sets your affairs in order for you. All you have to do is draw closer to Him. Don't waste your time and energy in convincing your wife you've made the right choice. It is Allah Who guides and turns the hearts. Instead my brother, spend time glorifying and praising Allah in the quietness of the night. Glorify and praise Him with every breath you can. I swear by Allah brother, if anyone is easy to please, it is Allah. If you walk to Him, He runs to you. Man is ungrateful and hardest to please.

Be steadfast in your prayers. Avoid the prohibited. Glorify and praise Allah after each salah (subhanAllah 33x Alhumdulillah 33x, Allahu akbar 34x) Ayatul Kursi (verse of The Throne) and astaghfirullah as much as you want.

Draw closer still to your Creator with voluntary acts of worship... Glorify and praise Him by saying ' SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi subhanAllahil 'adheem'. Do one round of your prayers beads, two three? As much as you want. 'Astaghfirullah' 100/200/300? Keep going until you feel like stopping.

Say 'La ilaha illAllah' as many times as you want. Glorifying and praising Allah will draw you closer to Allah and Him to you. La ilaha illAllah rolls of the tongue so effortlessly. 500x a day is really easy. :statisfie

There are other tasbeehs (Fortress of The Muslim). I mentioned these for personal reasons. Leave the stresses bro and just turn to Allah. Everything is in His hands. What He wills will happen. You just worship Him and make dua to Allah to set your affairs in order. Glorify and praise Him in solitude and Tahajjud and you will see the results for yourself inshaAllah. Don't stress with the duniya. It isn't worth it. Go to Allah. He will take care of it. :)


:wa:
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-13-2015, 10:23 PM
  2. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-04-2013, 11:56 AM
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-20-2011, 06:20 AM
  4. Replies: 42
    Last Post: 01-20-2010, 11:44 PM
  5. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-01-2007, 11:17 AM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!