women, wrk, education and driving.

salm
I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis?

Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education and drive? And also 2 be able 2 wrk?
(I wnt 2 do a poll bt not sure if i cn. Can admin do da polls for me plz? sorry abut my poor english):embarrass

My opinion:

- Women should get an education, religious plus secular.
- Women should drive.
- Women should work if the situation necessitates it (for example, she could be a single mother without anybody to support her or a need for a female GP may have arisen in the community, etc.).

I realise nowadays that the economic climate is such that both men and women are somewhat forced to work. I wouldn't place any blame on women who work prior to marriage if they somehow need to but would not appreciate one who desires to work for the sake of it when she is married, with kids, to someone who can more than reasonably provide.

I would be against women who think of higher education and being in a successful job as though it is the be all and end all of life or they go to the extent as thinking that it somehow defines 'success' and subsequently look down upon housewives as lesser people. That is nothing but arrogance and supreme ignorance.

Working several hours a day so that she is never able to raise her own children and give them the proper tarbiyya that they deserve is not appropriate for a muslim mother and shows someone who has not got her priorities straight.

Being married and raising pious children is much more rewarding in the hereafter than going out chasing a career (and I deliberately say 'chase' here, to reflect on the mentality of feminist 'career women').

Ubah said:

salm
I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis?

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:wa:

Work insha'Allah. But I'd like to stay home when I have children and until they're 7 insha'Allah.

Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education

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Yes.

and drive?

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Yes, of course. Though I don't care if I'd be taken to where and when I want.

Thanks 4 da replies. Da ting wid necessitates, is dat women are half of da population thus there always will be necessitates unless women are meant 2 stay home all da tym. I fink muslim should stop saying necessitates.
If we were 2 be shortage of female gp as an example, it would tke years to produce other female gp 4 obvious reasons. So there shuldnt be a shortage of female gps in the 1st place. N wat is wrong wid female working for her own sake, is it haram. I honestly dnt knw. I gave up wrk to marry but dat didnt went well so back 2 wrk agen. N i was finking if i were to marry agen i wuldnt stop workin because i enjoy it. So it is haram 4 me to enjoy it work?

Ubah said:

salm
I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis?

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Sis this is typical cultural thinking, i totally dont agree with any of it.

Ubah said:

Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education and drive? And also 2 be able 2 wrk?

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Education, work definately. I think its important a woman has independance, who knows what will happen in the future. Its good to plan ahead. I agree with what everyone else says,i know 2 sisters who are stuck in unhappy marriagess, they, just feel they are unable to leave, as they dont have any education, nothing to fall back on, and have children to consider.

D

Of course women need to get an education. you don't want us to be like animals do you? Islamic education is especially necessary because otherwise women won't know their responsibilities. a lot of women who don't have islamic education end up being materialistic and even a problem for society, for exampe when buying things they don't need. men and women alike need scientific education for various reasons. Those scientifically educated can understand islam better. Additionally they can better teach children. Uneducated women can't teach their children and also don't know the benefit of education.

There's nothing wrong with women driving as long as they don't go out of town on secluded roads.

Women who want to work should work, but shouldn't be pressured to work since there may be times when it won't be possible for them to get work, for example when raising young children or when one can't find work while wearing hijab. however, women shouldn't be stopped from working since we don't want to waste our education. Also, there is a need for female teachers, doctors, etc.

Bedouin said:

My opinion:

Being married and raising pious children is much more rewarding in the hereafter than going out chasing a career (and I deliberately say 'chase' here, to reflect on the mentality of feminist 'career women').

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these are mostly women at the top of the profession ladder. power just gets to people's heads, i know a lot of girls like this. I really dont get why they look down on others.

muhaba said:

a lot of women who don't have islamic education end up being materialistic and even a problem for society, for exampe when buying things they don't need.

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May I ask what do you mean by things they don't need? Make-up? And how is it a problem for society?

i fink she means those who r u selfish and demanding things their father or husband cannot afford. lyk if dey were to get islamic education, they wuldnt act lyk dat. bt den agen even a non muslim girl/woman wuldnt act like dat to der families. it is basic moral principle so i dnt particularly understand where da eduaction wuld come in2 it.

thanks for replies.

Ubah said:

i fink she means those who r u selfish and demanding things their father or husband cannot afford. lyk if dey were to get islamic education, they wuldnt act lyk dat. bt den agen even a non muslim girl/woman wuldnt act like dat to der families. it is basic moral principle so i dnt particularly understand where da eduaction wuld come in2 it.

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I think now I understand what she may have meant. I think she meant Islamic knowledge. If you're ignorant of and far away from Islam, and the heart finds peace only in the remembrance of Allah swt, you'll start to seek contentment from the materialistic life of this world.

Runaway said:

May I ask what do you mean by things they don't need? Make-up? And how is it a problem for society?

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LOL I buy too much makeup! what i meant was buying, for example, another purse or pair of shoes or a new sweater, etc which one doesn't need. I used to do this as well. I just couldn't resist shoes and handbags if i saw one in the store that i liked, but alhamdullillah that now i don't want to buy one unless i absolutely need it. Now i think it's dumb to buy things that one doesn't need and I sometimes wonder if women do this more than men? There is a verse in Surah Al-Nisa which says not to give money to the "sufahaa" (those of weak understanding) and some commentators say that this refers to women. While that isn't absolutely true, but women probably fall into this category more nowadays since a lot of women don't know how to use money properly. I really think that anyone who buys something they don't need has a weak understanding.

i here remember of Hazrat Asma Bint Abubakar...She was married to Zubair Ra....cousin of Prophet PBUH....She dont know how to cook, and work...but She herself do work of farming (i dont have appoporite word for that)...this is mentioned in Bukahi in detail...to cook she take her stuff to Ansar women and they cook for her...mean generally Quraish women are like queens at that times bcz they quraish do business and for domestic work they have servents...however in madina...its bit hard for them in the start...anyway they did it........the things to understand is .....actually this education, work, driving etc is not a purpose but its just to support the real purpose.... so if in a society (like it in 3-4 rd century hijri) if there is no financial issue,,,i blv there is no need for women to take this wordly education and science tension...work and driving etc........ they have much more responsibilites as mother.... since now a days men dont have worth for purity, piouty and taqwa of some girl so i think she must educate herself, can do work but never forgot life is not just for to get good degree, good car and job etc....we should effort more to learn the things of islam as taqwa, eman, salat, knowledge of deen, responsibillites as muslim mother......

Ubah said:

salm
I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis?

Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education and drive? And also 2 be able 2 wrk?
(I wnt 2 do a poll bt not sure if i cn. Can admin do da polls for me plz? sorry abut my poor english):embarrass

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i dont see anything wrong with it. as long as it isnt compromising your iman in anyway. if it does, then drop it. i dont think this is particular to either gender.

if brothers dont want their wives to drive, they at-least have to willing to take her places. its not really nice to keep on asking for something you already have the capability of doing yourself.

Ubah said:

salm
I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis?

Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education and drive? And also 2 be able 2 wrk?
(I wnt 2 do a poll bt not sure if i cn. Can admin do da polls for me plz? sorry abut my poor english):embarrass

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Women should if they want to. If not it shouldn't be forced upon them unless there's no other option such as in times of hardship. I hate the mentality that some women have who scoff at other women who choose to be at home with the family.

As far as women being encouraged to stay at home and do domestic work... that is the ideal, but individual circumstances need to be considered.

I think mental health plays a part too. Consider a woman who, perhaps, yet doesn't have many family responsibilities. Being stuck in the house all day is downright depressing when you're pretty much alone, such as in the case of reverts who don't have a supportive family around them, whose mothers, sisters, fathers and brothers are absent or broken up and don't really see each other (and are maybe non-muslim so not quite so understanding). Maybe don't even live together. The home is a fairly empty place for such a woman leaving her open to subtle attacks that could make her depressed.

In latitudes closer to the poles s.a.d. syndrome is also a problem. There are three main remedies for this: a special type of light (that doesn't always help), keeping occupied at all times, and getting outside a LOT. So in such latitudes getting work outside the home may even be a therapy to some women.

Then there are some women who just don't have the personality type to remain at home, where being indoors all the time would just be too stressful. As I hate when working women scoff at home-working women, I also can't stand home-working women who scold women for having a job and getting outside. Some women are just very active and need to be out and about, even out working, to keep their mind sharp. Many such women have just as much usefulness as working men do or as home-working women, such as those who pursue a career that can turn out to be helpful to society. If a women has a personality and a mind for that kind of thing, such as as one person used as an example, being a GP or a doctor, or physical activities such as being a wilderness/mountain rescuer (some women really do need to be kept physically active and get outside) it shouldn't go to waste. It would be a terrible shame.

That's my honest feelings and opinions on the matter.

women can work...drive....but at some point they'd have to stay in and nurture the kids

Ubah said:

salm
I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis?

Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education and drive? And also 2 be able 2 wrk?
(I wnt 2 do a poll bt not sure if i cn. Can admin do da polls for me plz? sorry abut my poor english):embarrass

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A poll has been added