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Flame of Hope
06-10-2011, 04:20 PM
:sl:

What poisons of the heart are most deadly? What are their causes and consequences of having them within our heart? And what can we do to rid ourselves of them?

Anything that comes to mind, let's discuss in this thread.
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Who Am I?
06-10-2011, 05:07 PM
Well my big one has always been anger, as you already know. I hated myself and hated everyone and everything around me. I fostered much anger and bitterness in my heart for years. I fed it with alcohol and drugs thinking that would make it go away.

It didn't, and it was eating away at me slowly. I was often depressed, and thought at times of suicide. This cycle of anger and self-hatred continued for most of my adult life.

I can't really explain how I broke out of it. One day not too long ago, I just finally realized that life is too short to be angry about everything all of the time. All of those old hatreds and grudges that I had held against various people slowly disappeared. I started having fun and laughing again.

I guess you could say that Allah (swt) just woke me up, slowly but surely. I'm still not sure why He saw fit to choose me, but I won't complain about it. ;D
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Flame of Hope
06-10-2011, 09:50 PM
:sl:

According to Ibn Qayyim, there are four poisons of the heart.

----------------

The Four Poisons of The Heart

(By Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah)

You should know that all acts of disobedience are poison to the heart and cause its sickness and ruin. They result in its will running off course, against that of Allah, and so its sickness festers and increases.

Ibn al-Mubarak said:

"I have seen wrong actions killing hearts,
And their degradation may lead to their becoming addicted to them.
Turning away from wrong actions gives life to the hearts,
And opposing your self is best for it."

Whoever is concerned with the health and life of his heart, must rid it of the effects of such poisons, and then protect it by avoiding new ones. If he takes any by mistake, then he should hasten to wipe out their effect by turning in repentance and seeking forgiveness from Allah, as well as by doing good deeds that will wipe out his wrong actions.

By the four poisons we mean unnecessary talking, unrestrained glances, too much food and keeping bad company. Of all the poisons, these are the most widespread and have the greatest effect on a heart's well-being.

Unnecessary Talking

It is reported that the Prophet said : "The faith of a servant is not put right until his heart is put right, and his heart is not put right until his tongue is put right."

This shows that the Prophet has made the purification of faith conditional on the purification of the heart, and the purification of the heart conditional on the purification of the tongue.

The Prophet also said : "Do not talk excessively without remembering Allah, because such excessive talk without the mention of Allah causes the heart to harden, and the person furthest from Allah is a person with a hard heart."

'Umar Ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "A person who talks too much is a person who often makes mistakes, and someone who often makes mistakes, often has wrong actions. The Fire has a priority over such a frequent sinner."

A man, through his actions and words, sows the seeds of either good or evil. On the Day of Resurrection he harvests their fruits. Those who sow the seeds of good words and deeds harvest honour and blessings; those who sow the seeds of evil words and deeds reap only regret and remorse.

In a hadith, the Prophet said : "What mostly causes people to be sent to the Fire are the two openings : the mouth and the private parts."

Uqba ibn Amir said: "I said: "O Messenger of Allah, what is our best way of surviving?" He, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied: "Guard your tongue, make your house suffice for sheltering your privacy, and weep for your wrong actions.""

The Prophet said, "Whoever can guarantee what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him the Garden (heaven)."

He also said, "Let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day either speak good or remain silent."

Thus talking can either be good, in which case it is commendable, or bad, in which case it is haram.

Umar ibn al-Khattab visited Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with them, and found him pulling his tongue with his fingers. Umar said "Stop! may Allah forgive you!" Abu Bakr replied; "This tongue has brought me to dangerous places."

Abdullah ibn Masud said: "By Allah, besides Whom no god exists, nothing deserves a long prison sentence more than my tongue." He also used to say: "O tongue, say good and you will profit; desist from saying evil things and you will be safe; otherwise you will find only regret."

Abu Huraira reported that Ibn al-Abbas said: "A person will not feel greater fury or anger for any part of his body on the Day of Judgement more than what he will feel for his tongue, unless he only used it for saying or enjoining good."

Al-Hassan said: "Whoever does not hold his tongue cannot understand his deen."

The Prophet said : "One of the merits of a person's Islam is his abandoning that which does not concern him."

Abu Ubaida related that al-Hassan said: "One of the signs of Allah's abandoning a servant is His making him preoccupied with what does not concern him."

This is the least harmful of the tongue's faults. There are far worse things, like backbiting, gossiping, obscene and misleading talk, two-faced and hypocritical talk, showing off, quarrelling, bickering, lying, mockery, derision and falsehood; and there are many more faults which can affect a servant's tongue, ruining his heart and causing him to lose both his happiness and pleasure in this life, and his success and profit in the next life.

....... to be continued.
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aadil77
06-10-2011, 10:10 PM
Pride, Jelousy and some others
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Salahudeen
06-10-2011, 10:38 PM
Doing sins with the intention of making repentance.
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Flame of Hope
06-10-2011, 10:41 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by aadil77
Pride, Jelousy and some others
I think pride is the deadliest poison of them all. And then there is prejudice.
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Flame of Hope
06-11-2011, 05:58 AM
:sl:

I think pride tops the list, second is prejudice... but Ibn Qayyim's second on the list of 4 poisons is.......

2: Unrestrained Glances

The unrestrained glance results in the one who looks to become attracted to what he sees, and in the imprinting of an image of what he sees in his heart. This can result in several kinds of corruption in the heart of the servant. The following are a number of them.

It has been related that the Prophet once said : "The glance is a poisoned arrow of shaytan. Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness which he will find in his heart on the day that he meets Him."

Shaytan enters with the glance, for he travels with it, faster than the wind blowing through an empty space. Shaytan makes what is seen appear more beautiful than it really is, and transforms it into an idol for the heart to worship. Then he promises it false rewards, lights the fire of desires within it, and fuels it with the wood of forbidden actions, which the servant would not have comitted had it not been for this distorted image.

This distracts the heart and makes it forget its more important concerns. It stands between it and them; and so the heart loses its straight path and falls into the pit of desire and ignorance. Allah, Mighty and Glorious is He, says :

"And do not obey anyone whose heart We have made forgetful in remembering Us
- who follows his own desires, and whose affair has exceeded all bounds."
(Al-Qur'an 18:28)

It has been said that between the eye and the heart is an immediate connection; if the eyes are corrupted, then the heart follows. It becomes like a rubbish heap where all the dirt and filth and rottenness collect, and so there is no room for love for Allah, relating all matters to Him, awareness of being in His presence, and feeling joy at His proximity - only the opposite of these things can inhabit such a heart. Staring and gazing without restraint is disobedience to Allah.

"Tell the believing men (and women) to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that is more purifying for them. Surely Allah is aware of what they do."
(Al-Qur'an 24:30)

Only the one who obeys Allah's commands is content in this world, and only the servant who obeys Allah will survive in the next world. (The REAL world.)

Furthermore, letting the gaze roam free cloaks the heart with darkness, just as lowering the gaze for Allah clothes it in light. After the above verse, Allah, the Glorious and Mighty, says in the same surah of the Qur'an :

"Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth: the likeness of His light is as if there were a niche, and in the niche is a lamp, and in the lamp is a glass, and the glass as it were a brilliant star, lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it. Light upon light. Allah guides whomever He wants to His Light. Allah strikes metaphors for man; and Allah knows all things."
(Al-Qur'an 24:35)

When there is a light in the heart, countless good comes to it from all directions.

If it is dark, then clouds of evil and afflictions come from all directions to cover it up.

Letting the gaze run loose also makes the heart blind to distinguishing between truth and falsehood, between the sunnah and innovation; while lowering it for Allah, the Might and Exalted, gives it a penetrating, true and distinguishing insight.

A righteous man once said: "Whoever
- enriches his outward behaviour by following the sunnah,
- makes his inward soul wealthy through contemplation,
- averts his gaze away from looking at what is forbidden,
- avoids anything of a doubtful nature
- and feeds solely on what is halal;
his inner sight will never falter."

♥ ♥ ♥

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Flame of Hope
06-11-2011, 06:03 AM
According to Ibn Qayyim......

Poison of the heart, number 3 :

Too Much Food.

The consumption of small amounts of food guarantees
- tenderness of the heart,
- strength of the intellect,
- humility of the self,
- weakness of desires,
- and gentleness of temperament.

Immoderate eating brings about the opposite of these praiseworthy qualities.

Al-Miqdam ibn Ma'd Yakrib said: "I heard the Messenger of Allah say: "The son of Adam fills no vessel more displeasing to Allah than his stomach. A few morsels should be enough for him to preserve his strength. If he must fill it, then he should allow a third for his food, a third for his drink and leave a third empty for easy breathing."

Excessive eating induces many kinds of harm. It makes the body incline towards disobedience to Allah and makes worship and obedience seem laborious - such evils are bad enough in themselves.

A full stomach and excessive eating have caused many a wrong action and inhibited much worship. Whoever safeguards against the evils of overfilling his stomach has prevented great evil. It is easier for shaytan to control a person who has filled his stomach with food and drink, which is why it has often been said:

"Restrict the pathways of shaytan by fasting."

It has been reported that when a group of young men from the Tribe of Israel were worshipping, and it was time for them to break their fast, a man stood up and said: "Do not eat too much, otherwise you will drink too much, and then you will end up sleeping too much, and then you will lose too much."

The Prophet and his companions, may Allah be pleased with them, used to go hungry quite frequently. Although this was often due to a shortage of food, Allah decreed the best and most favourable conditions for His Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.

This is why Ibn Umar and his father before him - in spite of the abundance of food available to them - modelled their eating habits on those of the Prophet . It has been reported that Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: "From the time of their arrival in Madina up until his death, the family of Muhammad never ate their fill of bread made from wheat three nights in a row." (Subhanallah..)

Ibrahim ibn Adam said:

"Anyone who controls his stomach is in control of his deen, and anyone who controls his hunger is in control of good behaviour. Disobedience towards Allah is nearest to a person who is satiated with a full stomach, and furthest away from a person who is hungry."
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Flame of Hope
06-11-2011, 06:12 AM
Ibn Qayyim's 4th poison of the heart:

Keeping Bad Company

Unnecessary companionship is a chronic disease that causes much harm. How often have the wrong kind of companionship and intermixing deprived people of Allah's generosity, planting discord in their hearts which even the passage of time - even if it were long enough for mountains to be worn away - has been unable to dispel. In keeping such company one can find the roots of loss, both in this life and in the next life.

A servant should benefit from companionship. In order to do so he should divide people into four categories, and be careful not to get them mixed up, for once one of them is mixed with another, then evil can find its way through to him.

The first category are those people whose company is like food.

It is indispensable, night or day. Once a servant has taken his need from it, he leaves it be until he requires it again, and so on. These are the people with knowledge of Allah - of His commands, of the scheming of His enemies, and of the diseases of the heart and their remedies - who wish well for Allah, His Prophet and His servants. Associating with this type of person is an achievement in itself.

The second category are those people whose company is like a medicine.

They are only required when a disease sets in. When you are healthy, you have no need of them. However, mixing with them is sometimes necessary for your livelihood, businesses, consultation and the like. Once what you need from them has been fulfilled, mixing with them should be avoided.

The third category are those people whose company is harmful.

Mixing with this type of person is like a disease, in all its variety and degrees and strengths and weaknesses. Associating with one or some of them is like an incurable chronic disease. You will never profit either in this life or in the next life if you have them for company, and you will surely lose either one or both of your deen (religion) and your livelihood because of them. If their companionship has taken hold of you and is established, then it becomes a fatal, terrifying sickness.

Amongst such people are those who neither speak any good that might benefit you, nor listen closely to you so that they might benefit from you. They do not know their souls and consequently put their selves in their rightful place. If they speak, their words fall on their listeners' hearts like the lashes of a cane, while all the while they are full of admiration for and delight in their own words.

They cause distress to those in their company, while believing that they are the sweet scent of the gathering. If they are silent, they are heavier than a massive millstone - too heavy to carry or even drag across the floor.

All in all, mixing with anyone who is bad for the soul will not last, even if it is unavoidable. It can be one of the most distressing aspects of a servant's life that he is plagued by such person, with whom it may be necessary to associate. In such a relationship, a servant should cling to good behaviour, only presenting him with his outward appearance, while disguising his inner soul, until Allah offers him a way out of his affliction and the means of escape from this situation.

The fourth category are those people whose company is doom itself.

It is like taking poison. Its victim either finds an antidote or perishes. Many people belong to this category. They are the people of religious innovation and misguidance, those who abandon the sunnah of the Messenger of Allah and advocate other beliefs. They call what is the sunnah a bid'a and vice-versa. A man with any intellect should not sit in their assemblies nor mix with them. The result of doing so will either be the death of his heart or, at the very best, its falling seriously ill.


What Gives the Heart Life and Sustenance

You should know that acts of obedience are essential to the well being of the servant's heart, just in the same way that food and drink are to that of the body. All wrong actions are the same as poisonous foods, and they inevitably harm the heart.

The servant feels the need to worship his Lord, Mighty and Glorious is He, for he is naturally in constant need of His help and assistance.

In order to maintain the well being of his body, the servant carefully follows a strict diet. He habitually and constantly eats good food at regular intervals, and is quick to free his stomach of harmful elements if he happens to eat bad food by mistake.

The well being of the servant's heart, however, is far more important than that of his body, for while the well being of his body enables him to lead a life that is free from illnesses in this world, that of the heart ensures him both a fortunate life in this world and eternal bliss in the next.

In the same way, while the death of the body cuts the servant off from this world, the death of the heart results in everlasting anguish. A righteous man once said, "How odd, that some people mourn for the one whose body has died, but never mourn for the one whose heart has died and yet the death of the heart is far more serious!"

Thus acts of obedience are indispensable to the well being of the heart. It is worthwhile mentioning the following acts of obedience here, since they are very necessary and essential for the servant's heart.

1. Dzikr of Allah ta'ala.
2. Recitation of the Noble Qur'an.
3. Seeking Allah's forgiveness.
4. Making du'as.
5. Invoking Allah's blessings and peace on the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.
6. Praying in the middle of the night.

...... end of Ibn Qayyim's 4 Poisons.....
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Riana17
06-11-2011, 06:14 AM
Salam

all human being can be greedy at times, like me, nomatter how simple I am I can be greedy in some things like when I really like the food, i eat till i cant breath LOOOOL , but hello I am not exactly greedy all the way, in 100s of food I can like just one and I would like to eat it everyday till i get fed up (so guilty huh)
Or in clothes, If I like a polo shirt, I sometimes buy atleast 3 of them to make sure that when the 1st one is worned out, I have spare lol

Prophet Adam & Eve (pbuh) were greedy as well, Allah gave them everything, literally they own everything in "JANNAH" but when they thought that Shaytan can give them a little more, they were attracted and took the chance, and so the story goes.

But there is no excuse in being PROUD

that is why Allah forgave our prophet Adam and his wife
and Shaytan remains where he is till now
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Salahudeen
06-11-2011, 01:34 PM
I think doing sins with the intention of making repentance is very dangerous, I've seen people do this, they say lets drink alcohol and then make repentence after, so they have good time drinking alcohol then they say, "lets make repentance now" ^o)
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Reflections
06-11-2011, 01:54 PM
^ I agree...Lack of taqwa...

Interesting points Flame..I remember someone once told me 'eat less, sleep less and (I forgot the last one)...
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Who Am I?
06-11-2011, 03:54 PM
Of those listed above, the unrestrained glances is one I struggle with the most. I like looking at beautiful women, and I try not to, because it will distract me from doing what I am trying to accomplish. That is why I have decided not to find a wife yet, because I have to walk my own path alone for a while, and I can't ask a sister to share that burden.
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Salahudeen
06-11-2011, 04:00 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
Of those listed above, the unrestrained glances is one I struggle with the most. I like looking at beautiful women, and I try not to, because it will distract me from doing what I am trying to accomplish. That is why I have decided not to find a wife yet, because I have to walk my own path alone for a while, and I can't ask a sister to share that burden.
But wouldn't having a wife help you to stop unrestrained glances, you could just look at your wife instead.
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Who Am I?
06-11-2011, 04:04 PM
Originally Posted by Salahudeen
But wouldn't having a wife help you to stop unrestrained glances, you could just look at your wife instead.
Brother, I see your point, but you have to understand my situation in life right now. I haven't told my parents that I'm a Muslim yet, and until I do, I don't think it's fair to bring a sister into my life. I can't just very well show up at my parents' doorstep and say "Hi, this is my wife. Oh by the way, I'm a Muslim now." It wouldn't be fair to ask any sister to deal with that. We couldn't be a real family when I haven't even told my parents about my conversion.

This path I must walk alone, for that reason.
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Salahudeen
06-11-2011, 04:14 PM
Originally Posted by Just a Guy
Brother, I see your point, but you have to understand my situation in life right now. I haven't told my parents that I'm a Muslim yet, and until I do, I don't think it's fair to bring a sister into my life. I can't just very well show up at my parents' doorstep and say "Hi, this is my wife. Oh by the way, I'm a Muslim now." It wouldn't be fair to ask any sister to deal with that. We couldn't be a real family when I haven't even told my parents about my conversion.

This path I must walk alone, for that reason.
I see your point and the predicament you're in. May Allah make it easy for you.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
06-11-2011, 04:54 PM
Assalaamu Alaaykum

Jazakallaahu Khaayr great thread..

One of the bad things is being lazy and laziness is painful! It takes you away from doing things, fullfilling ones duties, say your mother asks you to do something for her, and you reply "you cant be bothered", and then it may for some end up in arguments and maybe other things, so can cause a lot of harm..

Great reminder..
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Flame of Hope
06-11-2011, 04:58 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by Pєαяℓ σf Wιѕ∂σм
One of the bad things is being lazy and laziness is painful! It takes you away from doing things, fullfilling ones duties, say your mother asks you to do something for her, and you reply "you cant be bothered", and then it may for some end up in arguments and maybe other things, so can cause a lot of harm..
I agree. Laziness is definitely a poison. Ughh!
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Flame of Hope
06-11-2011, 05:04 PM
:sl:

Just a Guy, I found a few things on anger..... posting those here, hoping they will help...

---------------

Anger. Some advice for us all.

The Prophet 'alayhissalatu wassalam was asked, "What will save me from the wrath of God?" He said, "Do not express your anger."

He, 'alayhissalatu wassalam, has also said: “If one of you gets angry, he should be quiet.”

"The strong man is not the one who can throw another down. The strong man is the one who can keep hold of himself when he is angry.”

~~~

Anger, if it is truly and sincerely for Allah's sake, will only inspire us to noble deeds and to personal sacrifice, and never to base, unjust, or ignoble actions.

Anger is a very powerful emotion. It rages through a person, creating a desire for revenge and for striking out at the object of anger.

Anger is an emotion that inspires action, if left unchecked and uncontrolled, it is the emotion that can lead a person to the evilest of deeds and to the worst consequences.

Anger is a destabilizing thought. It is the most dividing emotion between friends; it takes away judgment, leads to depression, madness and wrong actions that we would repent later on when we are not angry.

~~~

Anger that inspires a person to avenge his own personal feelings is indeed blameworthy.

Among the chief causes of anger are pride and arrogance, since a prideful person is most easily offended and the most painfully stung by criticism.

Another cause of anger is being argumentative. The more a person disputes with others, the less likely he is to accept the truth. His views become increasingly polarized and emotionally charged.

Anger snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense.

Anger weakens a person's Iman.

~~~

One preventive medicine is to avoid being too sensitive to pressure and become "deaf, dumb and mute".

~~~

Check the circumstance, check your words, check yourself. Because sometimes, you may find that the other person violated one rule and find yourself violating ten.
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Ramadhan
06-12-2011, 02:05 AM
Originally Posted by Flame
I think pride is the deadliest poison of them all. And then there is prejudice.

I agree. That's what made iblees cast out to earth and naar (hell). And in fact, it is the first ever cause of disobedience in the history of creation that Allah SWT has made it known to us.

Pride leads to all sorts of other poisons and evil, such as riya', which in itself completelywash away all your good deeds.
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IAmZamzam
06-12-2011, 02:14 AM
Self-deception is the most dangerous and central of all sins, as without it all of the other vices could hardly exist at all, and none of them would ever look appealing or justifiable to the thoughts of the perpetrator.

If you're talking about specific actions, though, instead of abstractions, then revenge is the deadliest. There is no form of injustice that masquerades as justice so successfully.
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Laila-
06-12-2011, 07:05 PM
Love
now here I'm not talking about love after marriage, love for your parents, love for your parents or any other type of halal love
What I'm trying to say here is that having a relationship, loving someone before marriage is the deadliest things tot he heart. This is because when you fall in love (or you think you're in love, as it is hard in the modern society to define the word love) all you think about is that person. You eventually think more and more about that person, your eating routine changes, your sleeping routine changes (you sleep less), eventually its like your worshipping the person you'e in love with, you end up forgetting about your lord. Like in Romeo and Juliet, when I was doing my essay,I wrote about Juliet love for Romeo, I wrote that she is so much in love with him, that she has forgotten god, instead of god she worships Romeo now.
Love can cause many conflicts, it can cause arguments within families, separation from friends, love makes people mad, it drives them crazy, it changes people/
seriously what is the actual meaning of love? the dictionary meaning is no way near to explaining to what love is. Love is the poison which poisons your brain, you entire body, your life. People who are not in love are people who sleep early have restful nights, they are happy and enjoy life. Whereas on the other hand people who are in love tend to restless nights, and tend to cry a lot more then people who are not in love.
I personally believe that love is the deadliest as it can destroy someone's life, I know many peoples whose lives have been destroyed because they have fallen in love with people.
the only true love is love for Allah (swt)
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