Originally Posted by Tyrion
If the groom and bride can accept arranged marriage sincerely, why not ?.
Even, sometime I think, an arranged marriage between two persons who never meet before but accept this marriage sincerely, can be a happy marriage because they start their marriage life with learn to understand each other, reveal spouse's mysteries, find special things in their spouse. These are the fun parts of love.
But my marriage is not arranged marriage. I had know my wife's character and personality long time before I married her. She was my close friend since I was in grade 12 in high school, after she became my classmate.
In my third year in Uni, I had a girlfriend who refused arranged marriage. Although her parents were very angry, she still chose me. I very love her and started to prepare a marriage. But later she was angry when she knew I still in my friendship with my ex-classmate. And situation was going complicated after my ex-classmate knew I would marry someone and started to jealous. ;D
Finally my girlfriend left me and accepted a guy that chosen by her parents in arranged marriage. And later my ex-classmate becomes my wife.
I heard from some people, my ex-girlfriend look happy with her husband although in early years of her marriage she had a problem to love her husband. And I am happy in my marriage too. Happy ending for everyone. :D
Okay, okay, I know friendship between man and woman, and boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is forbidden. But my story was happened in the past, okay ?.
That's why after I read sister Lonely Gal posts, I could guess, her marriage is an arranged marriage.
And @ sister Lonely Gal.
Nothing wrong with you. You are now in 'adaptation period' with your husband.
But it's better if you understand, love is not something that we can build, and not something that will comes when we invite. But love is something that will comes anytime to the sincere heart that ready to accept it.
And you cannot have a same feeling on two different persons, because they have two different personality. You cannot love your husband like you love someone in the past. But, InshaAllah, after you accept your husband totally, you would love him with love that better than your love in the past.
Sister, you don't need to feel guilty if you don't love your husband for this time. You don't need to love him first if you want to be a good wife for him. But you must do the 'reverse way', be a good wife first if you want to love him. No mater you love him or not for this time, you must do and give your best to your husband sincerely. Remember, sincerely. The key to love your husband is accept him sincerely.
InshaAllah, after you spent many times in togetherness with him, after you and your husband passed many happy and sad times together, one day you would have a feeling that make you feel happy when you do and give something to your husband. That's love, in exactly, true love.
Remember, The Art of Loving is not The Art of Take and Give, but The Art of Give and Take. You must give if you want to take.