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~Zaria~
02-10-2013, 07:13 PM
THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES









A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.


POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.


FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

......


http://goo.gl/uzydR


*************************************


Just to add, for my muslim brothers and sisters - if ever you find yourself in difficulty: Trust in Allah, trust in Allah, trust in Allah.

He (subhanawataála) would never place you in a situation, just to hurt you. How can One who is so Merciful and Loving, ever desire us harm?
He dearly loves His creation.....so remember that our difficulties are only a test - for us to draw closer to Him/ or as a means of cleansing our deeds and elevating our ranks.

The following duaas are short and easy to remember, and can be read when in difficulty:


حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

“Hasbunallahu wa ni`mal Wakil’


Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).”
Al-Bukhari, 5/172



اللَّهُمَّ اكْفِنِيهِمْ بِمَا شِئْتَ
Allaahummak-fineehim bi maa shi’ta

O Allah, suffice (ie. protect) me against them however You wish.

Muslim 4/2300



:wa:
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abcdcool2012
02-10-2013, 09:30 PM
Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
long quote removed

Really ? They said these ?
Reply

~Zaria~
02-11-2013, 03:07 PM
^Assalamu-alaikum,

According to the article, these were some of the comments of actual rapists.

Unfortunately, violent attacks on women are becoming more common than ever.

Last week, a 17 year old teenager was raped and disembowelled (whilst still alive), and later died from her injuries in South Africa:
http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/Ne...words-20130208

Today, there is another report of a 19 year old who was raped and strangled in a neighbouring town:
http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/Ne...dered-20130211

A few months ago we witnessed the protests in India following the brutal rape and murder of a young student.


I think the above tips are quite useful for women to be aware of.

Importantly, if one is ever attacked - depending on the situation, do your best to fight your attackers at the initial confrontation.
Once an attacker is able to move you away to another area or get you into his car, you lose even more control of the situation - and studies have shown that the likelihood of returning alive is greatly diminished. Allah knows best.

We are living in a really sick society, so its up to us to be aware and take the necessary precautions that will insha Allah, ward us from such evils. :cry:


:wa:
Reply

Muhaba
02-11-2013, 04:29 PM
read Ayatul-Kursi over yourself. you can read it once or thrice or 7 times . the more times the better. Also read Bismillahi alazi laa yaduro ma'a ismihee shai'un fil-ardi wa laa fissama-i wahowa sameeun aleem.
this has lots of good effect. Allah protects His creation in amazing ways.

once in Syria my mothr and I were going back home after the tarawee prayer from the masjid (pretty late at night). Since the way back home was pretty long, we decided to go another way thinking we might find a street that would lead us quicker. unfortunately this way was very long and we had to go through some really deserted paths and grounds. (Dumb thing to do especially at night but we had no idea). Since we had come so far from the masjid we decided to go all the way - we had to make a circle around the place to reach home. As we were walking we had to pass by some buildings. In the yard of one building, there were some men sitting. We were really scared and continuted to read Ayatul-Kursi. At that very moment, two boys (one a teenager and another about 11) came from behind us and started brisk walking not too far ahead of us. I'm positive the men thought that those two boys were with us. in this way, we passed the men. By then, the two boys had gone out of sight. Since they had been going a bit fast, we assumed that they had gone. After that we came to a large apartment building by whose side we had to pass in a long alley. On one side of the alley was the building's yard enclosed with a wire fense. And we were surprised to see that the yard wasn't empty but was full children playing cheerfully. And in this way, we passed that area and reached the street that led to our house, which was not a deserted street since it had some grocery stores that remained open till the early hours of the morning. And so Alhamdulillah we were able to reach home safely.

I must also add that Syrian men were mostly very pious and didn't even look at anyone with an evil look. Subhan-Allah.

There were only rare cases of rapes and kidnappings that we heard from some people. still no woman should endanger herself no matter how trustible the people seem. if anyone is in a threatening situation, do read Ayatul-Kursi immediately and blow over yourself.
(Now the situatin in Syria is terrible and there are cases of abduction etc. that you read about in the news)
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GuestFellow
02-11-2013, 04:39 PM
:sl:

Assuming these are from rapists who have been caught, it only gives a small representation of how rapists think.

Most victims know their rapist. He could be a boyfriend, relative, husband or friend.
Reply

Periwinkle18
02-11-2013, 05:59 PM
Jazakillah khayrun for sharing sis.
Reply

ardianto
02-11-2013, 06:21 PM
Originally Posted by GuestFellow
Most victims know their rapist. He could be a boyfriend, relative, husband or friend.
In Indonesia, .... yes!
Reply

Qurratul Ayn
02-11-2013, 08:34 PM
:jz: for sharing that article Sister ~Zaria~ (glad to see you're back :D I'll PM you)

I always become a little bit apprehensive whenever I read articles about rape or abuse and it is devastating to read, hear things like this that's happening all over the world but as Sister WRITER has written
Originally Posted by WRITER
read Ayatul-Kursi over yourself. you can read it once or thrice or 7 times . the more times the better. Also read Bismillahi alazi laa yaduro ma'a ismihee shai'un fil-ardi wa laa fissama-i wahowa sameeun aleem.
this has lots of good effect. Allah protects His creation in amazing ways.
Read them!!!

Let's not forget abuse happens to males too not only females, thus this information can aid everyone


O :Allah: please guide us and help us in this life, protect us all and grant us Your Mercy and Love and the strength within us to stay true on the rightful path.



Making Du'a for y'all always
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Qurratul Ayn
02-11-2013, 08:36 PM
Originally Posted by GuestFellow
Most victims know their rapist. He could be a boyfriend, relative, husband or friend.
Originally Posted by ardianto
In Indonesia, .... yes!
And the rest of the world too, unfortunately Brother ardianto
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Alpha Dude
02-11-2013, 09:13 PM
Good advice.

The creepy finger pic. feels out of place though.
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GuestFellow
02-11-2013, 09:36 PM
Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
Good advice.

The creepy finger pic. feels out of place though.
....I thought it was a knife...but now I look at it...I thought it was something else.
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Iceee
02-11-2013, 09:49 PM
Salaam.

Even though I am a male, it was a good read and I recommend everyone to read this alhumdulillah.
Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Just to add, for my muslim brothers and sisters - if ever you find yourself in difficulty: Trust in Allah, trust in Allah, trust in Allah.

He (subhanawataála) would never place you in a situation, just to hurt you. How can One who is so Merciful and Loving, ever desire us harm?
He dearly loves His creation.....so remember that our difficulties are only a test - for us to draw closer to Him/ or as a means of cleansing our deeds and elevating our ranks.
Please brothers and sisters, read a short Surat from the Quran if you feel in your "Gut" that something is not right. It's happened to me a couple of times and I prayed (I also ran since I'm fast). Place faith in God.
Reply

GuestFellow
02-11-2013, 09:50 PM
:sl:

That picture doesn't look right. Please remove it. It's highly disturbing. :skeleton:
Reply

Iceee
02-11-2013, 10:02 PM
Originally Posted by GuestFellow
That picture doesn't look right. Please remove it. It's highly disturbing.
Yeah, change the picture to a video :)



Be strong boys and girls. And always expect the unexpected.
Reply

~Zaria~
03-17-2013, 06:25 PM
:salamext:

This story brought tears to my eyes!



This is said to be a real story that happened in the United State of America.

It is about a sister from Malaysia who used to work in U.S.A. She used to cover up herself properly with hijab (Head-Cover) and she had good manners. One night this girl was on her way back home from work. She took a shortcut to reach home. The road she took was quite hidden and there were not many people passing by at that time. It was relatively late, she felt afraid and nervous walking alone along the dark and suddenly she saw a man (white American) resting against the wall at the side lane. She felt very scared and her heart beat became very fast. She whispered to her heart, "What can he do when I pray to Allah to protect me?" She then recited Ayat-ul-Kursi.

At the time she passed this strange man, she managed to turn and recognize the man's face. Fortunately, the man didn't do anything to her and she was safe until she reached her home.

The next morning she read the newspaper that a woman was raped by a man at the lane of the road that she has taken last night just 10 minutes after she crossed the lane. She was very confident that the man that she saw last night is the rapist.

On her sense of responsibility she directly went to the police station and lodged a complaint. She could identify the suspect in the parade camera and after the investigation was done the police could prove that man was the rapist.

This girl was wondering why the man did not make her as a victim although she was walking alone at that night. She really wanted to know his reason. So she requested the permission of the police to talk to the rapist just before the sentence was passed.

She asked the rapist: "Why didn't you do anything to me on that night even though you knew that I was walking alone?" The rapist answered: "No, you were not alone. That night, I saw two young men walking with you. One on your right side and the other one was by your left side. If you were alone, sure you too would have been my victim."

The woman was shocked to hear this from the rapist. She felt very grateful to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'la for protecting her when she invoked His protection by reciting Ayat-ul-kursi.

Imam Tirmidhi writes that Abu Hurayrah (Allah be well pleased with him) reports that

the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said that whomsoever recites the first verses of Surat al-Mu’minun and then Ayat al-Kursi in the morning, they will remain under the protection of Allah Most High until the evening. Similarly, whomsoever reads this during the night will remain under the protection of Allah Most High until the morning. [Al-Jam al-Tirmidhi: Tafsir of Surat al-Baqarah, Under Ayat al-Kursi]

Remember, whoever recites Ayat-Al-Kursi in times of difficulty, Allah will provide help for them. ─Abdullah Bin Amr R.A.

Source: Unknown

**************************


(Ps. I cannot be sure of the authenticity of this actual story....but I just wanted to share the message therein in shaa Allah.)


'Say: "Nothing will befall us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Protector.
In Allah let the believers put their trust." [Surah At-Tawbah: 9:51]


:wasalamex
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~Zaria~
03-21-2013, 04:50 AM
Be mindful in your treatment of women!

Abu Muhammed

The recent violent rape and mutilation of a 17 year old girl in the ‘sleepy’ town of Bredasdorp in the Cape Province of South Africa sparked country wide outrage and anger. While this incident has placed South Africa squarely in the international limelight as being the ‘Rape Capital’ of the world with an estimated 683 000 incidents of rape annually, it has to be stated that Rape is an international phenomena that takes place both in developed and developing countries, in countries traditionally classified as ‘civilised’ and ‘first world’ as well as those known as ‘uncivilised’ and ‘third world’.

While we can go down the route of making this issue a ‘numbers game’ and declaring the country with the lowest incidence of rape to be most civilised, the fact of the matter is that even one rape is one too much.

Rape is reflective of a deep-seated, systemic dysfunctionality of a society wherein women are treated with total disrespect having no value.

On the scale of ‘ill treatment and disrespect shown to women’ rape may well weigh the heaviest, given its gruesome nature and violation of a woman’s honour there are many other acts of physical, verbal and psychological abuse, mostly domestic perpetrated against women even in the most civilised countries and societies, symptomatic of a serious underlying psychological problem in the manner and way women are treated.

In America, the so called bastion of freedom and liberties of the modern world and the protagonist of modern day feminism,

· 22 million women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

· More women are injured due to domestic violence than those injured in car accidents and muggings combined (‘Hope Alliance report’)

· One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds (UN Study on the Status of Women)

· 25% of American women will suffer domestic violence in their lifetimes (Survey of Women’s health)· Cost of domestic violence by partners exceeds $5.8 billion of which $4.1 billion are for direct medical and mental health costs.

More than 8 million days of paid work lost collectively by victims of domestic violence which is equivalent to the loss of 32 000 full-time jobs (Cost of Intimate Partner violence against women in the United States, – Centres for Disease Control & Prevention, Atlanta)




If such is the incidence of physical abuse one can well imagine the level of verbal and psychological abuse and general disrespect that women face.

The manifestation of abuse is nothing other than a reflection of the psyche of society moulded, shaped and churned out by the mass media machinery where women are used to sell anything from a tooth pick to a truck tyre!

Hence women are seen as nothing other than commodities and sex objects whose only function is to serve the visual and physical gratification of men. A woman is judged more on her physical appearance than her mental and intellectual capacity. The multimillion dollar fashion and cosmetic industry, which generates almost $600 billion a year, is sufficient proof of this.

The current situation that women the world over find themselves in, although camouflaged by all the glitz and glamour, is not very different to the situation that women found themselves in during the period of Jaahiliya (Ignorance) of pre Islamic Arabia.

Arabia was a male-dominated society. Women had no status or rights of any kind other than as sex objects and commodities that could be bought, sold and even disposed of. The number of women a man could marry was not fixed. When a man died, his son ‘inherited’ all his wives except his own mother. A savage custom of the society was to bury their female infants alive. Modern day abortion being no different other than being more sophisticated. Even if a man did not wish to bury his daughter alive, he still had to uphold this ‘honourable’ tradition, being unable to resist social pressures. Drunkenness and gambling were common vices. It was during such times that women were sold off in lieu of debts or offered as guarantees. One point worthy of mention is that in spite of women being treated in the manner mentioned above it was still considered an act of cowardice for a man to violently attack or show aggression to a woman.

It was at this time and to such a community of drunken, male dominated and war mongering people that Allah Ta’ala chose to send His Final Prophet (May Peace be upon him) with the final revelation – Al Quraan. In a period of 23 years the Noble Messenger of Allah made such an effort and prepared these ‘backward’ desert dwellers to become the beacons of light that would radiate out of the sand dunes of the deserts of Arabia to illuminate the minds, hearts and souls of humanity who were then grovelling in the oceans of darkness. Together with removing Idol worship, forging human brotherhood between the black and the white, the slave and the master, uplifting the oppressed and downtrodden, giving hope to the weak, inculcating sober habits and perfecting good character he also redefined the position of women in society and restored to them their equality, honour, dignity, humanity and position in society. No more was a woman a mere commodity with no rights but rather she was recognised as an individual with full rights to ownership, education, inheritance, respect, honour and marriage.

Perhaps the highest accolade given to a woman was that Islam recognised her sacrifice during child bearing and birth (Qur’an-Surah 46, Verse 15) and therefore made her deserving of most respect from her children even above the father (Hadith-Bukhari & Muslim) and also categorically stating that ‘Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother’ (Hadith-Ahmad, Nasai)

This venerated position of women was imprinted on the psyche of every male of the society. This was achieved through equating the service and happiness of parents to great and meritorious acts like striving in the Path of Allah and Hijrah (migration) for the sake of Allah. Such was the zeal with which the once male dominated society treated and served their women that a companion once carried his mother on his back to allow for her to fulfil the rights of the Haj (Pilgrimage) and yet thereafter acknowledging that he had not fulfilled the right of her one ‘turning’ towards him as an infant out of concern for his well being.

The Noble Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) also said, ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their women well’ (Hadith-Tirmidhi).

In another narration it is mentioned ‘I command you to take good care of the women’ (Hadith-Bukhari) and also, ‘Do not beat Allah’s female servants (i.e women)’ (Hadith-Abu Da’ud, Ibn Majah). The Noble Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) also said ‘How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats his camel and then embraces her?’ (Hadith-Al-Bukhari)

Based on the above some scholars like Ata bin Rabah (May Allah’s mercy be with him) stated, the fact that the Noble Messenger of Allah(pbuh) never resorted to the permission of beating and said, ‘He who beats his wife is not a good person’ (Hazimi, al-Itibar)

From the above we learn that Islam encourages the kind treatment of women and forbids in both word and spirit, their abuse in any form, be it physical, verbal, emotional and psychological. It therefore stands to reason that rape is something that Islam condemns in the strongest terms and, in fact a rapist in an Islamic country would be sentenced to death by the Islamic courts

It was this type of thought that permeated the psyche of Muslim societies from the time of the Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)until this day and any behaviour to the contrary by Muslims today is nothing other than their deviation from the principles advocated by Islam and the lifestyle of the Noble Messenger of Allah(pbuh). Issues like honour killings and spousal abuse in Muslim societies which are often highlighted in the media and for which Islam is criticised are practices that have their place in culture and have no basis in the Qur’aan and Sunnah.

Shariah always has an ‘inner’ as well as an ‘outer’ mechanism that are used to achieve its objectives. In the issue discussed, if the psyche of the society could be described as the ‘inner’ mechanism to allow for women to be respected and honoured then it must be said as an ‘outer’ mechanism Islam advocates the institution of Hijab so that women are judged for what they are truly worth and not merely objects for men’s gratification. As much as the media always makes an issue of and maligns the treatment of women in Islam it is interesting to note that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world (Guiness book of records) and in the west, in particular, most reverts are women who have no hesitation in donning the hijab. In fact, they do so with much pride.

In Islam rape and all other forms of women abuse are reviled. In fact The Noble Messenger of Allah (pbuh) discouraged and penalised adultery, fornication and rape.

Wa’il ibn Hujr reports of an incident when a woman was raped. When he the rapist was later positively identified the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him ) said “Stone him to death.” (Hadith-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).

May Almighty Allah Ta’ala grant us the wisdom, courage and moral strength to uphold the rights and dignity of our women in society …ameen.


We appreciate feedback on our articles. Please send feedback or any constructive comments to: feedback@eislam.co.za


********
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Cabdullahi
03-21-2013, 10:51 AM
Men are also raped, mentally.
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purple
03-21-2013, 01:10 PM
Originally Posted by Cabdullahi
Men are also raped, mentally.
I don't know why you've written this? Article posted are in favour with the rapist and giving them excuses. None of the article posted support the victim male or female. we makes excuses for males that rape females but not male that rape male or female that rape male. Women (when they are victim) are always blamed and male rapist are given excuses. Not enough hanging or harsh punishment. And are we saying every male has high potential to rape? If not, why do we insist on " explaining" small proportion of male's behaviour and linking to the victim? :exhausted
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Cabdullahi
03-21-2013, 01:16 PM
Originally Posted by purple
I don't know why you've written this?
I've written it because it's true - i'm not talking about physical rape here.

A rapist is a rapist and no excuses shall be given to a person who rapes.
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purple
03-21-2013, 01:20 PM
"she was recognised as an individual with full rights to ownership, education, inheritance, respect, honour and marriage."

Muslim in this forum constantly argue this 'right' and most of whom are vehemently against higher education, ownership and career for women that want it. but we happen to mention it when we want non Muslim on our side or argue against them.
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Qurratul Ayn
03-21-2013, 01:22 PM
Originally Posted by purple
Muslim in this forum constantly argue this 'right' and most of whom are vehemently against higher education, ownership and career for women that want it. but we happen to mention it when we want non Muslim on our side or argue against them.
Are you being serious?!
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purple
03-21-2013, 01:25 PM
Originally Posted by Cabdullahi
I've written it because it's true - i'm not talking about physical rape here.

A rapist is a rapist and no excuses shall be given to a person who rapes.
It is true but is has no place on this topic. Abuse towards men are only mentioned when speak of abuse towards female. I created a topic about domestic violence towards men, NOONE has commented on it. But we all like to mention it in topics about female abuse?
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purple
03-21-2013, 01:27 PM
Originally Posted by Qurratul Ayn

Are you being serious?!
Yes I am serious. Most of members here are against the abovementioned including the person that posted the article. If you don't believe me, search these topics for yourself.
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Qurratul Ayn
03-21-2013, 01:50 PM
Originally Posted by purple
I created a topic about domestic violence towards men, NOONE has commented on it.
Could you provide a link here then? Seeing as it's related to the overall topic; rape.

Originally Posted by purple
Yes I am serious. Most of members here are against the abovementioned including the person that posted the article. If you don't believe me, search these topics for yourself.
None of the Brothers here have expressed such thoughts since I've been on this forum, but I shall search for related topics and look for myself as you've suggested, my dear purple.

The "person" who created this thread and posted a few articles is our dear Sister ~Zaria~, I sincerely doubt she'd be against higher education and careers for women.
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Qurratul Ayn
03-21-2013, 01:50 PM
Apologies... Double post
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~Zaria~
03-21-2013, 01:52 PM
Originally Posted by purple
Yes I am serious. Most of members here are against the abovementioned including the person that posted the article. If you don't believe me, search these topics for yourself.
Can you provide such statements that I have supposedly made?

Indeed there are various rulings pertaining to women in the work-place - regarding suitable occupations that limit interactions with men, and if this is impossible, then the manner a women should conduct herself. However, this is a completely seperate topic.
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purple
03-21-2013, 01:57 PM
Originally Posted by Qurratul Ayn

Could you provide a link here then? Seeing as it's related to the overal topic; rape.



None of the Brothers here have expressed such thoughts since I've been on this forum, but I shall search for related topics and looks for myself as you've suggested.

The "person" who created this thread and posted a few articles is our dear Sister ~Zaria~, I sincerely doubt she'd be against higher education and careers for women.
She is only 'for' health and social care profession not any other sector like many other members here. She is against women having business and even against daughter working in their father's business/shop. She is against women studying mathematics as higher education but for medicine/nursing etc. Same with brothers, some of whom are completely against working, period. Wait, let me search the link.
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purple
03-21-2013, 02:01 PM
Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Can you provide such statements that I have supposedly made?

Indeed there are various rulings pertaining to women in the work-place - regarding suitable occupations that limit interactions with men, and if this is impossible, then the manner a women should conduct herself. However, this is a completely seperate topic.
Suitable occupation? Then please explain why you are against women studying mathematics, science etc? And also against them taking jobs as scientist and having their own business? There is no hadith and Quran verses to support your stance BTW. Women can't be builders etc obviously but having their own business is permitted. Don't try to lie. I will post the link but using my mobile so you'll have to wait once I able to post it.
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White Rose
03-21-2013, 02:08 PM
Originally Posted by purple

Muslim in this forum constantly argue this 'right' and most of whom are vehemently against higher education, ownership and career for women that want it. but we happen to mention it when we want non Muslim on our side or argue against them.
Its best if you do not generalize. Even if some of them do, so what? Have you read their reasons? I am tired of people mentioning equality as if it can only produce pure results.
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purple
03-21-2013, 02:14 PM
Originally Posted by ارجمند
Its best if you do not generalize. Even if some of them do, so what? Have you read their reasons? I am tired of people mentioning equality as if it can only produce pure results.
It is not 'some' it is 'most'. And did you read it in the context I've mentioned it? DONT be a hypocrite and mention to non Muslim or post an article when you personally are dead set against it. I mentioned nothing about equality, if you want to stop your wife, daughter etc do so but don't make a consensus in this forum (which it is) and don't a be hypocrite. I must've hit a nerve.

I have read their reasons. I have problem with hypocrite, two faced people and those that force it others and belittle people that have different lifestyle and made different choices.
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~Zaria~
03-21-2013, 02:39 PM
Originally Posted by purple
Suitable occupation? Then please explain why you are against women studying mathematics, science etc? And also against them taking jobs as scientist and having their own business? There is no hadith and Quran verses to support your stance BTW. Women can't be builders etc obviously but having their own business is permitted. Don't try to lie. I will post the link but using my mobile so you'll have to wait once I able to post it.

JazakAllahu khayrun. You have reminded me of why I no longer participate as much in discussions on this forum.
Sadly, there are members here who seek out argumentation, which, in real life, I avoid as much as possible.

In any case, in response to your comments:

As I have indeed mentioned, there are certain professions that are possibly more suitable for women to be in, and others that are not as suitable - for the mere fact that it entails women to work closely alongside men, to leave their homes and families in pursuit of wealth.
Who can deny that as a woman, it would be so much more preferable and comfortable to be treated by female gynaecologists and medical personnel? And have our daughters taught by female teachers? etc.

If one has to leave her home to financially support herself and kids, and out of genuine need - then truly there is no blame on her.

And if she can work from home, then Alhamdulillah.
If this is not possible - would it not be better for her to first seek those occupations that do not result in her mixing with men, as much as possible?
And where she would be directly providing benefit to the sisters in this ummah?
And where there is interaction with men - then she does so, observing proper hijaab and niqaab - both in her appearance and her behaviour?

I have never been 'against women studying mathematics, science, etc' as you mention.
All beneficial knowledge should be sought by both men and women. However, the manner that we apply such knowledge, bestowed upon us by Allah Taa'la Himself is also important.
When we have been blessed with such intellect and knowledge, then we should ensure that we are using it for the pleasure of Allah at all times.


^ These are my personal thoughts on this topic.
And from my reading, it seems to be type of sentiment expressed by many senior scholars as well.

If you have a difference in opinion, this is fine.

Sister, you are free to live your life in the manner that you deem to be best.

We have not laid judgements on others. We have merely expressed our opinions.
As have you.
To each his own.

But please, lets not for look for debate - esp. by bringing other discussions across from other threads.

This thread was sincerely meant to provide tips and suggestions to our sisters on the topic of rape - which sadly, is a growing problem across the world.

Please allow us to continue back on the original discussion.


:wasalamex
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purple
03-21-2013, 02:57 PM
OK sorry to derail your topic. Can I post link for domestic violence against men?
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~Zaria~
03-21-2013, 04:13 PM
^ No problem sister. In shaa Allah, it would be of benefit to us.
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GuestFellow
03-21-2013, 07:25 PM
Originally Posted by purple
I don't know why you've written this? Article posted are in favour with the rapist and giving them excuses.
Hello magical purple

It actually gave advice to avoid being raped/victim of a crime.

we makes excuses for males that rape females
Some people do but not all of us. Rapists should not be defended at all. I don't make excuses! =) I do agree people do tend to blame the victim of rape.

Not enough hanging or harsh punishment.
It's VERY hard to prove rape.
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