Does muslim girls accept converts? What do they require? How to a her on the street?

Salam Alaikum all

So I dont have contact with muslims except sometimes on internet and I am completely ignorant when it comes to this subject.

Is it true that is very hard to find a girl if you are not arab?

Is it true that you need to pay mahr and it is usually 5.000-10.000 euros/dollars?

What actually do they require in general?

If you see her on the street and you like her,do you just go and ask her wali or what? How sisters want to be approached?

How to spot a convert?

Do they want to work or let the man provide everything for the family?

I know how it should be but I am curious how it is in real life

There is not a specific amount for Mahr as far as I know.. She can request as much as she wants. She can request 1 Euro too. It all depends her respect to you and your respect to her.

And ethnicity is not a barrier in Islam. You can marry to a woman from any race. I am sure you can find an Arab woman (if that's your personal preferance) who doesn't mind your ethnicity or being a convert too.

DyingLight said:

Salam Alaikum all

So I dont have contact with muslims except sometimes on internet and I am completely ignorant when it comes to this subject.

Is it true that is very hard to find a girl if you are not arab?

Is it true that you need to pay mahr and it is usually 5.000-10.000 euros/dollars?

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Wa'alaikumsalam.

Are you White?. ... Then you can easily get a wife in Indonesia since White convert guys are favorite among Indonesian Muslim girls.

Not rich is okay. As long as you are not lazy to work. Also you don't have to give big mahr.

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Your problem actually relate to culture. Muslims in some societies with conservative culture, indeed, hard to accept men from other ethnic, or men who are poor. But Muslims in other societies with moderate culture usually look at personality. As long as this man has good personality, then he can be accepted, regardless his ethnic, or how rich this man.

Almost relevant link...

https://youtu.be/klbdLTimkJA
..
..
..missing an eye and walking backwards..

Classic humour there.

...yeah we know yours is still there, you've pointed to it before.

If you read my post: 6 years and still converting you will understand why I am not rich
I am not searching now actually I just wanted to know how it really is in real life,am curious
I know this about the indonesian girls.In general they are kinda gold diggers,thats why they like white converts so much.Is it true?
How you find out the wali of a muslim girl,in general? You just go and ask them on the street?
I know nothing about this subject

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M.I.A. said:

Almost relevant link...

https://youtu.be/klbdLTimkJA

Click to expand...

Uhuu 42 minutes. Ill grab popcorns and check

DyingLight said:

If you read my post: 6 years and still converting you will understand why I am not rich
I am not searching now actually I just wanted to know how it really is in real life,am curious
I know this about the indonesian girls.In general they are kinda gold diggers,thats why they like white converts so much.Is it true?
How you find out the wali of a muslim girl,in general? You just go and ask them on the street?
I know nothing about this subject

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Uhuu 42 minutes. Ill grab popcorns and check

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Lol, yep.. makes sense.
..
..
In all fairness you get what you go in for..

So its almost never love but rather, need.

Allah swt raises and lowers as he wills.

..once you start digging for " "gold" " all becomes clear.
..
..
Cant wait to cash out and see what i got for all this digging. :|

M.I.A. said:

Lol, yep.. makes sense.
..
..
In all fairness you get what you go in for..

So its almost never love but rather, need.

Allah swt raises and lowers as he wills.

..once you start digging for " "gold" " all becomes clear.
..
..
Cant wait to cash out and see what i got for all this digging. :|

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Right ! Need would be better.I cant express myself good in english.You are right

JazakhAllah Khair bro.Nouman is one of my fav speakers,it was a pleasure to hear him.I didnt know a lot of these stuff

That part about that guy sucking milk in the corner until he was man enough was epic
"What you doing bruh? We gettin married yet? -Naah still 4 years old,need two more bottles" :giggling:

Walaikum Asalaam

DyingLight said:

Is it true that is very hard to find a girl if you are not arab?

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What does being Arab have to do with it? Are most nonArabs single? I think not...

DyingLight said:

Is it true that you need to pay mahr and it is usually 5.000-10.000 euros/dollars?

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Not unless you're arab ;D

DyingLight said:

What actually do they require in general?

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Depends on the girl you marry. Also you don't need to pay the mahr all at one time. You can make arrangements with the girl and her guardian on how to pay it. Also it doesn't have to be money..it can be anything. As I said, it depends on what was agreed upon during the time of the marriage contract.

DyingLight said:

If you see her on the street and you like her,do you just go and ask her wali or what? How sisters want to be approached?

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I don't suggest that unless you know the girl. If you were working with a girl you were interested in for example, you may respectfully ask her or better yet a third party who knows the both of you and can facilitate a meeting between you and her family.

DyingLight said:

I know how it should be but I am curious how it is in real life

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The reason why it may seem that its easier for other cultures to find suitable spouses is because it's often arranged by their families. Since that family aspect/culture is not there for you to utilize, it will be a bit more challenging, but not impossible. If you know any other muslims at all, you should let them know you're looking for a spouse. You can also ask at your local mosque. The other thing I suggest would be joining social media groups where conversations take place (like on facebook). You'd have to be careful about keeping things halal though. There are a lot of reverts out there who are in your same shoes looking for a spouse as well.

DyingLight said:

Ps: Despite agreeing they liked the way I looked and my personality,I have been rejected more than once for not being an arab and poor,so I am just waiting till I get rich,if I do,in shaa Allah

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Just as poor people can become rich, rich people can also become poor. It shouldn't be about the money. I understand that in general we all want someone who is financially stable, but it's not the most important thing out there. So don't feel hung up just because you are rejected due to your financial status. In the end, we all take what is destined for us regardless of what is in our pockets. May Allah make things easy on you brother and grant you with a wonderful spouse who compliments you in every way ameen. Also never forget to pray about it and leave it in His hands.

*charisma* said:

Walaikum Asalaam



What does being Arab have to do with it? Are most nonArabs single? I think not...



Not unless you're arab ;D



Depends on the girl you marry. Also you don't need to pay the mahr all at one time. You can make arrangements with the girl and her guardian on how to pay it. Also it doesn't have to be money..it can be anything. As I said, it depends on what was agreed upon during the time of the marriage contract.



I don't suggest that unless you know the girl. If you were working with a girl you were interested in for example, you may respectfully ask her or better yet a third party who knows the both of you and can facilitate a meeting between you and her family.



The reason why it may seem that its easier for other cultures to find suitable spouses is because it's often arranged by their families. Since that family aspect/culture is not there for you to utilize, it will be a bit more challenging, but not impossible. If you know any other muslims at all, you should let them know you're looking for a spouse. You can also ask at your local mosque. The other thing I suggest would be joining social media groups where conversations take place (like on facebook). You'd have to be careful about keeping things halal though. There are a lot of reverts out there who are in your same shoes looking for a spouse as well.



Just as poor people can become rich, rich people can also become poor. It shouldn't be about the money. I understand that in general we all want someone who is financially stable, but it's not the most important thing out there. So don't feel hung up just because you are rejected due to your financial status. In the end, we all take what is destined for us regardless of what is in our pockets. May Allah make things easy on you brother and grant you with a wonderful spouse who compliments you in every way ameen. Also never forget to pray about it and leave it in His hands.

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Well well look whos post attracted moderators I am not searching now sis,even if I do there is no muslim girls where I am now lol,but in the future I am gonna need these info in shaa Allah.
So no talking on the street,got it.I was really confused about that.Good news that mahr can be everything.So I guess an Umrah or Hajj can be mahr.Awesome
Uhm if you know any social media groups that is worth it feel free to tell me here or in pm.
Thank you for replying every question with explanation
Judging from your title I guess you like making duaa,so i'd beg you to make one for me cuz I am going through a lot now.I'd make one for you too anyway
Thanks again

racism is the worst thing ever

I don't think that there is a problem marrying Muslim from other countries as long as he is really a good Muslim,

the problem is how her family trust the man they know nothing about him at all, here after she agree her brothers

look for everything about him and how he deal with others to see if he really deserve the girl that is why in Islam there is (walli )

to look after the girl until they trust the man. they wont ask for a complete man but really good manner and Ethics .

some tribes do not prefer this marriage .

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah:that the Messenger of Allah said: "If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.'"

a good Muslim can marry a good girl Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'la said: (Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision) Surah An Noor

there is no racism but goodness

about almahr it depends on the girl I don't know may be start with 1500 Eur


but a good Muslim man really good I think is important than everything and a good Muslim woman you think you should marry

even if she asked 10000 Eur you would say it is not a big deal as long as I want her

but I think more than 1000 Eur useless coz it has no meaning .the mahr of the daughters of the prophet Of Allah was simple alhamdullah

a Swiss man proposed to my sister after a while and doing Istekhara prayer we knew that he used to hurt his x wife > he was wealthy with no manners

Amalalharbi said:

racism is the worst thing ever

I don't think that there is a problem marrying Muslim from other countries as long as he is really a good Muslim,

the problem is how her family trust the man they know nothing about him at all, here after she agree her brothers

look for everything about him and how he deal with others to see if he really deserve the girl that is why in Islam there is (walli )

to look after the girl until they trust the man. they wont ask for a complete man but really good manner and Ethics .

some tribes do not prefer this marriage .

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah:that the Messenger of Allah said: "If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.'"

a good Muslim can marry a good girl Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'la said: (Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision) Surah An Noor

there is no racism but goodness

about almahr it depends on the girl I don't know may be start with 1500 Eur


but a good Muslim man really good I think is important than everything and a good Muslim woman you think you should marry

even if she asked 10000 Eur you would say it is not a big deal as long as I want her

but I think more than 1000 Eur useless coz it has no meaning .the mahr of the daughters of the prophet Of Allah was simple alhamdullah

a Swiss man proposed to my sister after a while and doing Istekhara prayer we knew that he used to hurt his x wife > he was wealthy with no manners

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If only everyone thought the same as you and the other sisters here.
Nah if she said 10.000 even if I had millions id just dissapear.I mean,wouldnt my money be hers too? Why would she take a part from the family's economy only for herself?
What do girls do with mahr?
In shaa Allah you and your sister get married to men better than the ones you hope for

Salaam bro ,

If you experience racism, which I hope not but if you do you can of course look for other converts too. Convert women would certainly be willing to marry another convert, it makes many things much easier because the cultural difference won't be there.

I will keep you in my dua.

Kawlah said:

Salaam bro ,

If you experience racism, which I hope not but if you do you can of course look for other converts too. Convert women would certainly be willing to marry another convert, it makes many things much easier because the cultural difference won't be there.

I will keep you in my dua.

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Yup,if the conditions are right for me to search again ill do that in shaa Allah.No cultural difference and so much better understanding.Though converts are hard to spot,especially if they arent hijabi,no way you would know

Thank you sis,It keeps making my day You are the only person in the universe who prays for me lol.I am and will do that too

DyingLight said:

If only everyone thought the same as you and the other sisters here.
Nah if she said 10.000 even if I had millions id just dissapear.I mean,wouldnt my money be hers too? Why would she take a part from the family's economy only for herself?
What do girls do with mahr?
In shaa Allah you and your sister get married to men better than the ones you hope for

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I am against that much Mahr true , but do not be harsh on girls this is a right of their rights

I believe in dua

I think when you find her, try to talk with her family about that much Mahr they will accept as long as you are really a good Muslim they want her happiness .

DyingLight said:

Yup,if the conditions are right for me to search again ill do that in shaa Allah.No cultural difference and so much better understanding.Though converts are hard to spot,especially if they arent hijabi,no way you would know

Thank you sis,It keeps making my day You are the only person in the universe who prays for me lol.I am and will do that too

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Salaam ale3koem wa rachmatoullahi wa barakathoe,

You spotted a convert without a hidjab (yet.. soon I will wear one Insha'Allah) so that's one thing you did today then. Haha.

Anyway, I do really pray for you and your peace of mind. I can sense your sadness from your post and hope that Allah will ease your burden

As for the mahr, I think that it depends on what is appropriate for the country and situation you are in. Mahr is a kind of insurance for a woman, so in a poor country she might ask more than me who comes from a country with a social security net for divorced women. I would not know what to ask, probably just some jewelry like is common here in the West as a marriage gift. More as a symbolic gift than actual money.

I guess the woman's family has a role to play in it too, and women from different cultural backgrounds might ask what is common in their countries which could be closer to an insurance. If you wish to marry I think you could go to a mosque and tell them that you're eligible, you might be surprised at the results. I asked Allah to bring love in your life, so who knows..

I am a full member now, will take some time to PM you tomorrow Insha'Allah.

Kawlah said:

Salaam ale3koem wa rachmatoullahi wa barakathoe,

You spotted a convert without a hidjab (yet.. soon I will wear one Insha'Allah) so that's one thing you did today then. Haha.

Anyway, I do really pray for you and your peace of mind. I can sense your sadness from your post and hope that Allah will ease your burden

As for the mahr, I think that it depends on what is appropriate for the country and situation you are in. Mahr is a kind of insurance for a woman, so in a poor country she might ask more than me who comes from a country with a social security net for divorced women. I would not know what to ask, probably just some jewelry like is common here in the West as a marriage gift. More as a symbolic gift than actual money.

I guess the woman's family has a role to play in it too, and women from different cultural backgrounds might ask what is common in their countries which could be closer to an insurance. If you wish to marry I think you could go to a mosque and tell them that you're eligible, you might be surprised at the results. I asked Allah to bring love in your life, so who knows..

I am a full member now, will take some time to PM you tomorrow Insha'Allah.

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Alaikum Salam we rahmetullah

I didnt spot you,the whole forum knows your a convert .Ohhhh now that makes sense.I thought she just wanted to spend them on useless stuff.She deserves a huge mahr then

Cant go to a mosque yet,where I am now the mosques here arent really sunni and when I go back home you know I have trouble practising let alone marry lol.But I will do that on the first chance

You know when you make duaa the angel wishes the same on you too,so be careful being too lovey-dovey,it can have a boomerang effect,just kidding :haha: . I really appreaciate it.Thank you for always supporting me.You have a really good heart sister,wish everything for you turns out to be better than your heart

DyingLight said:

Good news that mahr can be everything.So I guess an Umrah or Hajj can be mahr.

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Yes. There's actually a story which I think you may enjoy:

DyingLight said:

Uhm if you know any social media groups that is worth it feel free to tell me here or in pm.

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If you search groups on facebook, you'll find plenty. Some examples "revert Muslims" "latino Muslims" "reverts in (country)". There are also specific groups for those looking for marriage.

DyingLight said:

Thank you for replying every question with explanation

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No problem

DyingLight said:

Judging from your title I guess you like making duaa,so i'd beg you to make one for me cuz I am going through a lot now.I'd make one for you too anyway
Thanks again

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Of course, inshallah. Just remember, the best du'a is the one you make for yourself as well May Allah ease your burdens ameen.

Which I know you can approach her by going to her Walli or that your mother or any of your female relatives go to the house of the girl

If you can not and you're looking for her in Social Media, try not to talk to her alone. This is not a good thing

But if you have fear from Allah and really wanna marry , it is possible to gather three Muslim sisters (if they want to) with her in a group

and tell her that you want her father's or her brother's number to stay away from kholwah .

may Allah help you.

It can be definitely intimidating to try and find a spouse locally, especially if you don't already have connections with other Muslims (if you do, just let people know you're looking to marry, and if Allah wills, someone will get back to you).

As a fallback, realistic option, you can try www.purematrimony.com (don't take this wrong, it's legitimately the most "pure" Muslim marriage site you can find, and I personally found my own spouse there ). You'll definitely do a double-take on this option, but keep it around; bookmark it or something. You can find a spouse through any means, given they're Halal, and there's nothing wrong with a controlled (i.e. monitored for misbehavior), meaningful, and sincere search through an online service. P.S. I have no affiliations with them except that I found my own there. But note, it costs money, but that is only a positive, because it ensures only serious people actually register, and there's plenty!

DyingLight said:

Salam Alaikum all

So I dont have contact with muslims except sometimes on internet and I am completely ignorant when it comes to this subject.

Is it true that is very hard to find a girl if you are not arab?

Is it true that you need to pay mahr and it is usually 5.000-10.000 euros/dollars?

What actually do they require in general?

If you see her on the street and you like her,do you just go and ask her wali or what? How sisters want to be approached?

How to spot a convert?

Do they want to work or let the man provide everything for the family?

I know how it should be but I am curious how it is in real life

Click to expand...

If racism does not concern you and you have curiosity about some things in some countries, why not you try entering the Islamic University