All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

Artic090 said:

I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?

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Artic090 said:

Dear sisters and brothers,
some of you "know" me and my situation. But i decided to write you all my story, starting from the beginning.

I hope you have got 10 minutes of your lifes to dedicate me.


I've always been an atypical guy compared to Western kids: no drinking, no smoking, no disco, no sex.
During my adolescence I lost all my friends because they loved doing transgressive things, while I was very serious and responsible. Here in Italy if you do not follow the mass they label you as a loser, problematic.

But since I was a young boy I had just a little dream in my heart: to find a good girl, get married and have my happy family. But this is not possible in the Western and Catholic world. In 28 years I have never found the right girl, and when I try to expose my ideals people have always humiliated me... especially Catholic people (women). They say that i need psycologist, that in this world i wont find my right girl because my girl exists only in my head, ad so on.
So I decided to get away from the Catholic community and from God... because God had decided to leave me alone with those people so disreputable. I asked Him such things like "What is wrong on me? Why i cant be happy? Why girl are so corrupted with sex, smoke and alcool? Why nobody believe in my same ideals? Why did you give me birth if there isnt space for me in this world?".
I tell you honestly: if I could give my life to a sick child who is going to die, I would do it willingly. At least i give a smile to a child that surely will be a winner, will realize his dream. I would find peace by dying.

But this summer, while I was working as a volunteer at the hospital, I noticed a Muslim Pakistani girl (she was an interpreter fror pakistani people who live here and cant talk good italian language) who struck me a lot. I had never seen such a beautiful girl, a beauty that I could not even describe. I saw what in Islam is called "Haya" (i dont know if she really was a "haya-girl",but this is the impression I had).
Although I didnt know her (we never talked) I secretly fell madly in love with her. Suddendly i didnt see her at work? Where was she go? Simply: I come to find out that she is already married and that she is two months pregnant, so she stopped working. Death came in my heart.
When I think of her I feel like crying, both because I had the illusion of having a future with her, and because it is the umpteenth demonstration that I can never be happy.

But i still remember the first day i saw her: when i came back home, i started to read information on Pakistan and Islam. A new world has opened up! Finally Islam described the world I have always dreamed of: justice, freedom, hope. And Muslim women were described as I always wanted: no promiscuity, no smoke, no alcohol. Perfect wifes and mothers. I started to dream women as our Maryem or Aisha.

I came back to have more hope and I made peace with God thanking him for introducing me to that Pakistani girl, because thanks to that event I could understand what would be my right path.

I started studying Urdu and The Koran alone, I decided to become a better boy than now.
I have read that many Pakistani fathers do not accept that their daughter get marry an Italian, and this has been an extra stimulus to study everything about Islam, hoping to show that even if I am not a Pakistani by birth, I can be the right boy for their daughters thanks to my sacrifices and my values. Do you remember when that young boy wanted to marry a girl entrusted to the prophet Mohammed? He was poor and unknown ... but the Prophet put him to the test by asking him to recite the Qur'an. In this way He understood that that boy was really the perfect husband for that woman.
And I would like the same to happen to me: I want to show that I am a good boy in every respect, I want every girl's father to be proud of me also through the knowledge of the Islamic religion.

But something of not nice happened in October...

While i was trying to improve my urdu, in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I asked her about Pakistani traditions and so on....and talking about some topics she told me that the kind of purity I'm looking for does not exist in the world of Islam, that girls have engaged before marriage (she had a boyfriend and physical relationships when she was only 16), that many girls lie about their past and other things so. These words shocked me!

So, i started to take other info...and a lot of people told me: "Oh no! Dont do that! You will not find your ideal girl in Islam because in this world all girls had other men, muslims girls are the same as catholic, it's impossible for you to find a pious and virtuous girl at 28 years old...."

Dear sisters and brothers: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her, but i dont know how, where to start and especially if Islam can save me.

Click to expand...

Ibn Shahid said:

I'm not going to lie, you sound absolutely mental.

Stop this fixation with Pakistani girls just because you fell madly in love with one previously. Your future spouse could come from any background, so don't keep your search fixed on Pakistanis alone.

As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

When it comes to Islam, it's great that you want to embrace the religion, and you can do so very easily by saying the Shahadah (google what that is later), after that we can get into other minor things you will have to change. However, I would strongly recommend you find objective, rational reasons to believe in Islam rather than purely emotional arguments. Emotions come and go and are not objective, where as rational arguments are objective and do not change.

Also, no practising Muslim will marry you unless you convert to Islam first.

Click to expand...

Artic090 said:

I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?

Click to expand...

Artic090 said:

I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?

Click to expand...

Misbah-Abd said:

This is where his sincerity is compromised. He is more fixated on finding a pure virgin girl than seeking the truth of Islam. If he could find what he was looking for in his religion, he wouldn't be here flirting with the idea of embracing Islam to get what he desires. ^o)

Click to expand...

Ibn Shahid said:

As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

Click to expand...

fschmidt said:

I don't understand how you can say this given what Quran 24:3 says. If you steal and repent and return what you stole, then the repentance is complete. But if you murder, you cannot return what you have taken, so the repentance can never be complete because you cannot return the life to the dead. Promiscuity is more like murder than like theft in this regard because it cannot be undone. Of course the promiscuous person should repent, but they should also be willing to live with the consequences of their action which includes the loss of the right to expect to marry a chaste partner.

Click to expand...

Artic090 said:

Dear sisters and brothers,
some of you "know" me and my situation. But i decided to write you all my story, starting from the beginning.

I hope you have got 10 minutes of your lifes to dedicate me.


I've always been an atypical guy compared to Western kids: no drinking, no smoking, no disco, no sex.
During my adolescence I lost all my friends because they loved doing transgressive things, while I was very serious and responsible. Here in Italy if you do not follow the mass they label you as a loser, problematic.

But since I was a young boy I had just a little dream in my heart: to find a good girl, get married and have my happy family. But this is not possible in the Western and Catholic world. In 28 years I have never found the right girl, and when I try to expose my ideals people have always humiliated me... especially Catholic people (women). They say that i need psycologist, that in this world i wont find my right girl because my girl exists only in my head, ad so on.
So I decided to get away from the Catholic community and from God... because God had decided to leave me alone with those people so disreputable. I asked Him such things like "What is wrong on me? Why i cant be happy? Why girl are so corrupted with sex, smoke and alcool? Why nobody believe in my same ideals? Why did you give me birth if there isnt space for me in this world?".
I tell you honestly: if I could give my life to a sick child who is going to die, I would do it willingly. At least i give a smile to a child that surely will be a winner, will realize his dream. I would find peace by dying.

But this summer, while I was working as a volunteer at the hospital, I noticed a Muslim Pakistani girl (she was an interpreter fror pakistani people who live here and cant talk good italian language) who struck me a lot. I had never seen such a beautiful girl, a beauty that I could not even describe. I saw what in Islam is called "Haya" (i dont know if she really was a "haya-girl",but this is the impression I had).
Although I didnt know her (we never talked) I secretly fell madly in love with her. Suddendly i didnt see her at work? Where was she go? Simply: I come to find out that she is already married and that she is two months pregnant, so she stopped working. Death came in my heart.
When I think of her I feel like crying, both because I had the illusion of having a future with her, and because it is the umpteenth demonstration that I can never be happy.

But i still remember the first day i saw her: when i came back home, i started to read information on Pakistan and Islam. A new world has opened up! Finally Islam described the world I have always dreamed of: justice, freedom, hope. And Muslim women were described as I always wanted: no promiscuity, no smoke, no alcohol. Perfect wifes and mothers. I started to dream women as our Maryem or Aisha.

I came back to have more hope and I made peace with God thanking him for introducing me to that Pakistani girl, because thanks to that event I could understand what would be my right path.

I started studying Urdu and The Koran alone, I decided to become a better boy than now.
I have read that many Pakistani fathers do not accept that their daughter get marry an Italian, and this has been an extra stimulus to study everything about Islam, hoping to show that even if I am not a Pakistani by birth, I can be the right boy for their daughters thanks to my sacrifices and my values. Do you remember when that young boy wanted to marry a girl entrusted to the prophet Mohammed? He was poor and unknown ... but the Prophet put him to the test by asking him to recite the Qur'an. In this way He understood that that boy was really the perfect husband for that woman.
And I would like the same to happen to me: I want to show that I am a good boy in every respect, I want every girl's father to be proud of me also through the knowledge of the Islamic religion.

But something of not nice happened in October...

While i was trying to improve my urdu, in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I asked her about Pakistani traditions and so on....and talking about some topics she told me that the kind of purity I'm looking for does not exist in the world of Islam, that girls have engaged before marriage (she had a boyfriend and physical relationships when she was only 16), that many girls lie about their past and other things so. These words shocked me!

So, i started to take other info...and a lot of people told me: "Oh no! Dont do that! You will not find your ideal girl in Islam because in this world all girls had other men, muslims girls are the same as catholic, it's impossible for you to find a pious and virtuous girl at 28 years old...."

Dear sisters and brothers: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her, but i dont know how, where to start and especially if Islam can save me.

Click to expand...

Ibn Shahid said:

No, that's not how this works. Everyone has the right to repent, and will be forgiven completely provided their repentance is sincere. That's the essence of mercy, and is one of the many reasons why Allah (Azza Wa Jala) is called the most merciful. Whether or not the punishment is still carried out is irrelevant to whether or not their repentance is accepted.

You should be fine with marrying a non-virgin provided they have repented and are of exemplary character. In Islam, you marry someone based on their current character, not their previous one.

Also, killing an innocent person is not the same as committing zina. Please do not take the Islamic rulings for murder and apply them to zina.

Click to expand...

Ibn Shahid said:

I'm not going to lie, you sound absolutely mental.

Stop this fixation with Pakistani girls just because you fell madly in love with one previously. Your future spouse could come from any background, so don't keep your search fixed on Pakistanis alone.

As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

When it comes to Islam, it's great that you want to embrace the religion, and you can do so very easily by saying the Shahadah (google what that is later), after that we can get into other minor things you will have to change. However, I would strongly recommend you find objective, rational reasons to believe in Islam rather than purely emotional arguments. Emotions come and go and are not objective, where as rational arguments are objective and do not change.

Also, no practising Muslim will marry you unless you convert to Islam first.

Click to expand...

fschmidt said:

I don't understand how you can say this given what Quran 24:3 says. If you steal and repent and return what you stole, then the repentance is complete. But if you murder, you cannot return what you have taken, so the repentance can never be complete because you cannot return the life to the dead. Promiscuity is more like murder than like theft in this regard because it cannot be undone. Of course the promiscuous person should repent, but they should also be willing to live with the consequences of their action which includes the loss of the right to expect to marry a chaste partner.

Click to expand...

Ibn Shahid said:

As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

Click to expand...

cinnamonrolls1 said:

You seem to care more about marrying a virgin than something else. So what if shes not? Maybe she sinned and repented,maybe she was previously married idk. Its not a healthy mindset and if your one defining characteristic is a pakistani virgin then you wont get very far my friend. Like @Ibn Shahid said its fine to have a preference but really tge most important thing in a spouse is if theyre practising etc.

Click to expand...