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RisingLight
03-07-2019, 01:01 PM
I hope you can bear with me one last time.
I have been complaining in this forum for around 18 months but i cant stop cuz things just get harder!!

Are my tears worth nothing? Isnt Allah the most merciful and who can do everything?
I couldnt do anything in Islam without hiding it,for 7 years and going,but i said ok i finally accepted it because i thought one day it would end and Allah would get me out lf this country and I would be a free muslim.Elhamdulillah because its happening but what then?

Am making hijra for Allah,and yet be such a rubbish in the society? I will be an emigrant and will not earn much.I will work in low jobs as my uni isnt recognized.Its a bad uni but i went there because there i could be away from family and pray,and rejected the best uni many people dreamt.

I have had days i had only bread or just water to eat and i was happy with it cuz i always hoped one day it would get better.

But now even non muslims from my country are migrating and they are earning so much more than i will earn.The only way i can earn more than them are haram ways which I cant do ofc.
I am like in prison!!! How can i live with this feeling that everyone around me have so much more and am such a low social status??
My whole life id be a low social status!! Why should i be so humiliated?? Where did i do wrong? Yes i complain here a lot but only here because i want to get it out!!!!!
If I meet a muslim irl i told tell him omg my life sucks etc i just smile and try to hide all even though everyone can notice my depression.
I cry almost everynight cant be burden be a little less???? Cant at least anxiety be removed? Isk what else to doo !!! Im praying,doing dhikr,doing all i can except fasting because im secretive muslim and sadaqa because i dont have!!! I slept without dinner last night and i dont careee!! I just care to be normal in my mind because i am completely suffocated every second,i cant breathe!!!

There was this girl i met online unporpusely as i said before and she lives where i am going to migrate in shaa Allah and we will try do things halal.Her family knows.But how can i marry her when her father and brothers all have good jobs?
How can i feel a man when their wives have so much and i cant provide my wife with anything other people have??? She doesnt care about money but how can i live with having less than all?

Most of muslims who know me say i have a good heart and character bla bla.If I am truly this good and am crying almost everyday why isnt my life getting a little better,or at least my mental health getting any better but i feel extremely anxious the whole time and suffocated.
How can i accept i am made to be such a low status person and live among people way better than me?

Please make duaa for me.I cant make duaa properly i cant think properly i cant do anything properly anymore!!!!!!! MAY ALLAH CURSE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME HASSED,I ALWAYS FORGIVE EVERYONE BUT MAY ALLAH CURSE THE ONE WHO CAUSED ME THIS PAIN THAT ITS RUINING MEE!!!!!! NO MERCY FOR THIS ONE
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AbdurRahman.
03-07-2019, 01:25 PM
The problem is with your imaan and not wealth status.

Allah tests us with poverty and we have to remain patient and grateful. The peace of bread and water you lived on should be looked upon as a great bounty from Allah as there are children in Africa that don't even have that

I anticipate a frustrated and anguish filled life for you brother if you don't become a grateful and content* person than the complaining and ungrateful attitude you have now
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ZeeshanParvez
03-07-2019, 01:39 PM
Remind yourself that this world is going to end....

Any happiness you get here will end

Any sorrows that come your way will end...

And make dua that Allaah gives you the tawfiiq to accept what He ordains for you without any problem


Also always make dua against evil destiny
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CuriousonTruth
03-07-2019, 03:21 PM
Hmm I didn't read all of what you wrote but I can say, very few things hurt my own fate more than the hadiths about Qadr. If I'm being honest you, I say Dua very very half heartedly after reading those hadiths than before.
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MazharShafiq
03-07-2019, 03:33 PM
Allah tests us with poverty and we have to remain patient and grateful
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