Are my tears worth anything? How to accept the qadr of Allah?

[RisingLight]

I hope you can bear with me one last time.
I have been complaining in this forum for around 18 months but i cant stop cuz things just get harder!!

Are my tears worth nothing? Isnt Allah the most merciful and who can do everything?
I couldnt do anything in Islam without hiding it,for 7 years and going,but i said ok i finally accepted it because i thought one day it would end and Allah would get me out lf this country and I would be a free muslim.Elhamdulillah because its happening but what then?

Am making hijra for Allah,and yet be such a rubbish in the society? I will be an emigrant and will not earn much.I will work in low jobs as my uni isnt recognized.Its a bad uni but i went there because there i could be away from family and pray,and rejected the best uni many people dreamt.

I have had days i had only bread or just water to eat and i was happy with it cuz i always hoped one day it would get better.

But now even non muslims from my country are migrating and they are earning so much more than i will earn.The only way i can earn more than them are haram ways which I cant do ofc.
I am like in prison!!! How can i live with this feeling that everyone around me have so much more and am such a low social status??
My whole life id be a low social status!! Why should i be so humiliated?? Where did i do wrong? Yes i complain here a lot but only here because i want to get it out!!!!!
If I meet a muslim irl i told tell him omg my life sucks etc i just smile and try to hide all even though everyone can notice my depression.
I cry almost everynight cant be burden be a little less???? Cant at least anxiety be removed? Isk what else to doo !!! Im praying,doing dhikr,doing all i can except fasting because im secretive muslim and sadaqa because i dont have!!! I slept without dinner last night and i dont careee!! I just care to be normal in my mind because i am completely suffocated every second,i cant breathe!!!

There was this girl i met online unporpusely as i said before and she lives where i am going to migrate in shaa Allah and we will try do things halal.Her family knows.But how can i marry her when her father and brothers all have good jobs?
How can i feel a man when their wives have so much and i cant provide my wife with anything other people have??? She doesnt care about money but how can i live with having less than all?

Most of muslims who know me say i have a good heart and character bla bla.If I am truly this good and am crying almost everyday why isnt my life getting a little better,or at least my mental health getting any better but i feel extremely anxious the whole time and suffocated.
How can i accept i am made to be such a low status person and live among people way better than me?

Please make duaa for me.I cant make duaa properly i cant think properly i cant do anything properly anymore!!!!!!! MAY ALLAH CURSE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME HASSED,I ALWAYS FORGIVE EVERYONE BUT MAY ALLAH CURSE THE ONE WHO CAUSED ME THIS PAIN THAT ITS RUINING MEE!!!!!! NO MERCY FOR THIS ONE

 

[AbdurRahman.]

The problem is with your imaan and not wealth status.

Allah tests us with poverty and we have to remain patient and grateful. The peace of bread and water you lived on should be looked upon as a great bounty from Allah as there are children in Africa that don't even have that

I anticipate a frustrated and anguish filled life for you brother if you don't become a grateful and content* person than the complaining and ungrateful attitude you have now

 

[ZeeshanParvez]

Remind yourself that this world is going to end....

Any happiness you get here will end

Any sorrows that come your way will end...

And make dua that Allaah gives you the tawfiiq to accept what He ordains for you without any problem


Also always make dua against evil destiny

 

[CuriousonTruth]

Hmm I didn't read all of what you wrote but I can say, very few things hurt my own fate more than the hadiths about Qadr. If I'm being honest you, I say Dua very very half heartedly after reading those hadiths than before.

 

[MazharShafiq]

Allah tests us with poverty and we have to remain patient and grateful

 

[Eusra Fhaad inshaAllah]

As Salaam u Alaikum

Respected bro,
Allah will give you.Not now but in future in this world itself along with reward of hereafter InshaAllah .Allah SWT will give.Focus on imaan.Read life of Ibn taymiyyas',he lived poorly but Allah raised his status amongst best of His slaves.We all know him for being one of the bestest & amongst Awliya of Allah.

Money means nothing.It's good if you have it & it's equally good if you don't have it.But,you might be going through a temporary poverty.Remember you joined low ranking uni,leaving top uni,for ALLAH?

So,when we give up something for ALLAH Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala we get tested whether we are true or not.Remain patient ,obedient & being grateful for what you earned in terms of good deeds is better than wealthy status& see how much you are truthful to Allah.

"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.

And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test)."

Surah Ankaboot


We get tests for our imaan.We get tested with wealth,poverty,illness,loss of fruits,deaths,major calamities but,

"Give Gladtidings to the saabireen-Those who when struck with calamity says 'Verily we belong to Allah & to Him we return.These are the ones who get blessings & mercy from their Rabb..."

Surah Baqarah

We all go through tests but what we got to remember is Allah has promised rewards in both the worlds for the ones who goes through severe hardships & still remember ALLAH & are obedient to Him.

Recite Surah Yusuf with translation & see Aayat that are speaking of reward for the muhsineen (good doers)

So,work on doing Tasbeeh,Istighfar& Duas with nawafil.You need to keep hope that Allah will make things easier with time.Nothing happens overnight.We need to become steadfast first & then the reward appears.First thing is reaching to isteqamah by Allah's help.

Allah says :

"Allah will help him who helps His religion"

Surah Hajj

So,help Allah's religion,study & give dawah - spread Islam, busy yourself.Make your goal to be like Ibn taymiyya one day,a star of Islam,InshaAllah

Allah will enrich you in imaan & with dunya too with your hard work & love of Islam.

May Allah reward you& have mercy on you blessing you with a house in Firdaws Al Aala.

Aameen

 

[Desert]

As Salam alaikum

Brother like the sisters and brothers are saying read surah yusuf and surah baqarah

You are blessed to be of those who worship the one true God...as you see majority on earth are polytheist...

Be happy with what you have

if life gives you lemons make lemonade