We grant the children the right to be children until they are old enough to make good choices themselves. Marriage is a serious matter, and children needs the time to grow up before becoming someones wife/husband. Here, it is also normal for girls to finnish their education before getting married.
You do know that the majority of kids in highschool has already had sex out of wedlock right? What causes this? I don't know. What are the consequences? HIV, Hepatitis, Herpes. A girl not only has to worry about about getting pregnant but she also has to worry about her life aswell! Of course, marriage is a serious matter but what the serious matter is when a girl does sex out of wedlock. I don't understand the western society. I girl cannot get married at nine years old but when a girl is 15 she can have sex. When the girl becomes 18 she is considered an adult. I am considered an adult but I wouldn't ever move out on my parents and try to prove to them that I can live on my own. you say it is normal for girls to finish their education before they get married then why do they have sex before they are married? Wouldn't that be the last think on this earth one would do after they are married? Today you have people preaching about why so many teen girls and boys have AIDS. Go figure! You have girls running around promiscuous (out of wed lock) have not even finished their education and they are waiting by chance to get pregnant. Is this what we have to wait for until reality slaps them on the face?
Do your charity in the name of Da'wah and help us out
Your opinion here is flawed since you ignore the negative effects that this has on society as a whole. Having free sex spread disease, it results with females falling pregnant (some times not knowing who the father is), and when she falls pregnant out side of wedlock, who is going to help her rasie the child? the fathers do not always recognise that the child is their own. Having such cheap moral standards brings corruption to the society, and also results with women neing veiwed more cheaply.
I don't ignore the negative effects that the freedom to have sex causes. Of course there are problems related to this, but do not for a second ignore the fact that norwegian parents are not satanic worshipers who enjoy making their own children into sinfull monsters. Most have morale standards and carry dialogues with their children about many things, including sex.
Single mothers receives financiall support from our welfare system. Norwegian authorities wants us to be productive and have as many children as possible (yet there are to few children being born). Each time you have a new one, you get more support. Can you imagine the amount of money a woman from the third world with 5 children gets? We are probably talking about more than US3000 a month, at least when the children are small (barnetrygd, kontantstøtte, overgangsstønad, barnebidrag...) and she doesn't even have to work. And if she lives alone she receives even more. My sister did this, she got more than 4000US a month, living alone with 3 kids. If you have a job and have to take a long break due to pregnancy, you are STILL getting payed as if you were working.
And there are very few countries on this planet with less corruption than us. It may sound greeneyed, but I think most other countries are far worse off than us.
you havent specified where you come from, but i know for fact that the US also has the highest rape rate. what freedom. your society sounds very superficial if that is the most important thing worth mentioning.
US is on a planet of their own. You can't compare them with anyone. I am scandinavian.
How much of an Idiot Are you? I have to result to name calling because thats for the lowest of people that spread lies. 89,110 In USA
Lets look at more Statistics First
#1 Rape USA : 89,110
actually that other guy was correct, the statistics you provided are missleading becauase they show only the number of crimes, which is influenced by the population size. when looking at rate of rape per capita, it is clear that the US does not have the highest rape rate per capita. It comes 9th, and south africa is first. "Muslim" countries tend to show up in the high 50's, and 60's. (position in rank)
Id also like to point out that is these so called muslim countries actually actually implimented islam law (shariah), then the rates will most likely be way lower.
A similar claim that unreported crimes occur in the US can be made - although I accept that it is a trend that poorer states usually report less crime for a number of reasons.
Although - India has a population of over 1 billion - it's reported rates are at 15,000.
America has a population of 250 million - it's reported rates stand at 90,000.
How much leeway do unreported rapes have? Not this large.
In the above link it shows rapes per capita. The US lies at position 9, most countries on that list above it are small, poor, lawless with severe troubles (with the exception of Canada and Austrailia).
The point is that these developed, so called civilised, countries often have major problems with regard to moral standards.
For example, in the New York blackout - 3 million crimes were commited in one night.
In other countries electricity shuts off periodically for hours on end, yet such furious crime spees don't occur.
I can assure you, that list doesn't tell us the truth at all. There are several baltic states with less rapes than scandinavian countries, which is absurd. We have lots of problems with citizens of the former Sovjet Union (Balticum), they are infamous for their crime raides in Europe.
What is interesting here, is that those who are not Muslims state that they have the freedom to do as they wish. This is a true statement. But at the same time, they seem to think that we are trying to impose our moral system upon them, when in fact, the moral system we speak about comes from Allah (God) and is the same moral system that both Christians & Jews are commanded to follow.
Listen to the reasoning they use. I would like them to answer one question: Despite the fact that you are free to choose, when the Day of Judgement has come, and you are standing before the Almighty in Judgement, and you are asked why you chose to disobey, live by your own whims and desires, ignore what you knew to be true, and chose the way of man's laws over the laws of God, are you really going to repeat to the Almighty the things you have said here? Is that what you are going to tell Him? Interesting!
Christian_Dove: Single mothers receives financiall support from our welfare system. Norwegian authorities wants us to be productive and have as many children as possible (yet there are to few children being born). Each time you have a new one, you get more support. Can you imagine the amount of money a woman from the third world with 5 children gets?
Yup! The tax payer has to fund children who should be the responsibility of absent fathers. Apart from the tax payer not being happy about this, the British government introduced the Child Support Agency to make fathers pay up. To me that doesnt look like a system that is happily supporting single mothers.
At least muslims in third world countries don't have to cough up for other peoples so-called 'freedom'.
Listen to the reasoning they use. I would like them to answer one question: Despite the fact that you are free to choose, when the Day of Judgement has come, and you are standing before the Almighty in Judgement, and you are asked why you chose to disobey, live by your own whims and desires, ignore what you knew to be true, and chose the way of man's laws over the laws of God, are you really going to repeat to the Almighty the things you have said here? Is that what you are going to tell Him? Interesting!
Very well said brother blackjubba.
Lets see what is going to be the response of muslims who dont fail to call names when it comes to someone who has difference of opinion with them. What makes them think that they are anything better than those who have done the sin of violating the laws they believe in.
One interesting thing about the muslims. Talk to them individually, everyone will swear by ALLAH that he want to live under shariyah laws, litrally all minus exceptions. But see the result at the end of the day.....
My apology if someone feels bad.
Thanks.
Last edited by justahumane; 02-11-2006 at 03:23 PM.
Sadly, I must say that you are right. If muslims lived according to shariah law, there wouldn't be some many misconceptions about Islam. And there is no excuse for name-calling at all. Please muslims brothers and sisters, while we are defending our religion, lets also show examples of how a muslim should conduct himself.
Christian dove? Umm isnt sex nt allowed in ur religion too? Umm i think u gt the facts wrong, do u really thick americans are very happy wid their free society? So y r u guys having regular visit to the psychologists. Becos of free sex, ppl dun even bother to mmarry they just move. wen they feel like it they move out. cHildren born out of this relationship suffer a great deal. N ppl they have no family to fall back to, no religion to fall back to , nothing. As humans we need to hold on to smtg, its our nature. And 4 ur info, aisha consumatted her marriage at 15, nt at nine
actually that other guy was correct, the statistics you provided are missleading becauase they show only the number of crimes, which is influenced by the population size. when looking at rate of rape per capita, it is clear that the US does not have the highest rape rate per capita. It comes 9th, and south africa is first. "Muslim" countries tend to show up in the high 50's, and 60's. (position in rank)
Id also like to point out that is these so called muslim countries actually actually implimented islam law (shariah), then the rates will most likely be way lower.
Salam Alaikam
The sister tried to show how it was per capita, but i dont think you understood my point. My point was the overall statistics of the nation.
I don't understand the western society. I girl cannot get married at nine years old but when a girl is 15 she can have sex. When the girl becomes 18 she is considered an adult. ... you say it is normal for girls to finish their education before they get married then why do they have sex before they are married? Wouldn't that be the last think on this earth one would do after they are married? ...You have girls running around promiscuous (out of wed lock) have not even finished their education and they are waiting by chance to get pregnant. Is this what we have to wait for until reality slaps them on the face?
In my country it is not sure that you get married at all. This is not considered a thing that you have to do or is expected to do. The most of our girls and boys often goes to school until they have finished university at the age of 25-27. Due to our social benefits you then ought to work a couple of year so you can financially support a child. This is what happens when you have a society that is depending on two working parents.
But there are many different views about sex anyway. In the worst form you have parent teach their children that sex an love is two different things and that it is nothing wrong with having sex without having feelings for each other. But this is far from the common view. In my view this is very wrong. Our problem is not if having sex before or after marriage but having sex without feelings and love "for fun". Sad but true.
But in our society it has gone far to long. You cannot go outside without meeting things like this: today when I got to the bus stop a big advertise showing an almost naked woman’s breath with the text "I love boops" it was an ad for a store selling clothes. I really dislike this. This is so wrong. Even if you choose a way that do not includes acceptance for this kind of exposure you cannot choose. The common space is occupied with this. And it making an impact in what our children thinks is right and expected. There is a reason why many girls are suffering from anorexia in our society.
I would not have anything against going "back" some steps in this "development".
But I do not believe that small children, nine years old should get married. I do believe that love is a major factor in a life together with someone. The main thing according to me should not be the sex issue, but the love issue.
Yup! The tax payer has to fund children who should be the responsibility of absent fathers. Apart from the tax payer not being happy about this, the British government introduced the Child Support Agency to make fathers pay up. To me that doesnt look like a system that is happily supporting single mothers.
At least muslims in third world countries don't have to cough up for other peoples so-called 'freedom'.
Tax payers? I wasn't talking about britain. Norway has an oil fund that consists of more than 166 billion (!) US dollars. The costs of imigrants on welfare are a lot higher than the costs of children living with their single mums or dads... Not that I want to set those two groups up against each other. And excuse me, absent fathers have to pay child support here, and they pay a lot.
Yes they can pay money to support them financially? Well do u know how many children who do not have the father figure of the family suffer. Can the absent father pay up to support the child psychologically? Can the child grow up well? Will the child turn out as well as achild from a proper family. There are only some exceptionate cases. These type of "child support measureS" SHOUld only be used in extreme situations, People nowdays become absent in their family and use money to shut people up? Is it such a good idea. Im nt saying the child support measure is nt good, im just saying that it should be used in extreme situations, so fathers dont dare become absent in their families.
Single moms have to work hard too to support their kids, and this means she spends little time with the child, and how can the child grow up in a good environment?
Single moms have to work hard too to support their kids, and this means she spends little time with the child, and how can the child grow up in a good environment?
The sad thing is that you do not have to be a single mother. In my country both parents are expected to work hard to support their kids and spend little time with the children. It's a shame.
Yes they can pay money to support them financially? Well do u know how many children who do not have the father figure of the family suffer. Can the absent father pay up to support the child psychologically? Can the child grow up well? Will the child turn out as well as achild from a proper family. There are only some exceptionate cases. These type of "child support measureS" SHOUld only be used in extreme situations, People nowdays become absent in their family and use money to shut people up? Is it such a good idea. Im nt saying the child support measure is nt good, im just saying that it should be used in extreme situations, so fathers dont dare become absent in their families.
Single moms have to work hard too to support their kids, and this means she spends little time with the child, and how can the child grow up in a good environment?
Woman here have been working for the last 40 years or so. Children go to school or kindergarten in the daytime. Weekends most parents stay home with their kids and there are several vacations where parents can be with their kids. We just had christmas, now in february we have 1 week winter holiday (same in october), soon is easter (1 week ++), summer holiday (1 month), etc. It's really not a problem...
And most fathers see their children on a regular basis, there are rules about this. Normally the children spend every second weekend and one 1 day a week with the parent they are not staying with. Somtimes more (1 week at each parent), as parents make their own agreements. The less the fathers see their kids however, the more they have to pay in child support. They are punnished for not seeing their kids...
Last edited by Christian_dove; 02-12-2006 at 05:18 AM.
There are very few people having Aids here, so I don't know where you got that idea... You have to remember that not having sex before marriage is something your religion teaches you, but not all people are religious.. We don't grow up with lots of laws and regulations, we are free to do what we please as long as we don't hurt others. Sex is an act that is considered joyful by many people, and some people enjoy it without taking the laws of the quoran or the bible into consideration at all. This is not forbidden. You seem to think that life in western world is only sinful, but this is not true. People are allowed to do as they wish, some are very religious and some are not. Is this bad? In my country polls have shown that more than 80 % of the population are very happy. We feel free, we can travel wherever we want, we have good social welfare systems to take care of sick/poor people, good wages, etc. The way you practise your religion is the way we did 100 years ago..
Are you speaking of USA Dove???? Do you by chance live in the country?? Not trying to be "smart" or anything.....But where are you getting your facts...........Divorce is the highest ever...Aids is most certinly is high here....and have u been to wal-mart lately?....Last time i went, the half naket people shocked me.....some so very young, standing right beside parents....and as far as the welfare---Thats a joke---ask any elder person...as I have seen and talked to them,,,and even bought them medication...Its my opinion and mine only---But USA needs to feel ashamed for the treatment of its elder and the children....
I am a American, and its very sad ..was you aware that some children, the only meal they have is "free lunch"...and even that they are trying to stop...and as far as sex....Rich, poor, religious, good upbring, loving parents--non-caring parents....none of this means one thing.....The children here are out of controle...and sad to say. but many of the parents are also.
Than you have the rise in rent.utilites, food, gas...all things have rased in prices, so families are forced to have both working parents..which leaves the kids. free.....80% happy?? ..This can't be the usa...........peace to you....
Are you speaking of USA Dove???? Do you by chance live in the country?? Not trying to be "smart" or anything.....But where are you getting your facts...........Divorce is the highest ever...Aids is most certinly is high here....and have u been to wal-mart lately?....Last time i went, the half naket people shocked me.....some so very young, standing right beside parents....and as far as the welfare---Thats a joke---ask any elder person...as I have seen and talked to them,,,and even bought them medication...Its my opinion and mine only---But USA needs to feel ashamed for the treatment of its elder and the children....
I am a American, and its very sad ..was you aware that some children, the only meal they have is "free lunch"...and even that they are trying to stop...and as far as sex....Rich, poor, religious, good upbring, loving parents--non-caring parents....none of this means one thing.....The children here are out of controle...and sad to say. but many of the parents are also.
Than you have the rise in rent.utilites, food, gas...all things have rased in prices, so families are forced to have both working parents..which leaves the kids. free.....80% happy?? ..This can't be the usa...........peace to you....
Norwegian, we don't have wal mart, thank God. Americans have the gouvernment and the welfare system that they deserve... Norway is the world's best place to live... Oil revenues and a focus on social welfare politics have placed Norway at the top of the United Nations' so-called Human Development Index 4 years in a row.
Last edited by Christian_dove; 02-12-2006 at 06:10 AM.
Woman here have been working for the last 40 years or so. Children go to school or kindergarten in the daytime. Weekends most parents stay home with their kids and there are several vacations where parents can be with their kids. We just had christmas, now in february we have 1 week winter holiday (same in october), soon is easter (1 week ++), summer holiday (1 month), etc. It's really not a problem...
And most fathers see their children on a regular basis, there are rules about this. Normally the children spend every second weekend and one 1 day a week with the parent they are not staying with. Somtimes more (1 week at each parent), as parents make their own agreements. The less the fathers see their kids however, the more they have to pay in child support. They are punnished for not seeing their kids...
The life in america is really very weird. Isnt it? Spending time with ur family is such a burden that people choose holidays and feel that it is enough. Do you know what a family is? Or r u too one of the victims that never got a chance to learn what is a family. Family is abt spending time together. When you are sad abt smtg, you get home you see your mom, N talk to your dad, play games with him, have fights with your siblings over the silliest things, and then talk about ur ambitions with them after that. Sitting with ur grandmother and drinking tea, and learn about the traditional things she used to do. Work is not everything in life.
You say its not really a problem, because you are not the child that suffered. I teach part time at a student care, i see children everyday. And this particular child who has nobody to hold on to in his family, Its really painful to see his tears and how he winthdraws withhin himself. And you say its ok?
Why is it that the children have to be nomads and stay one week with one parent. A girl in my place ran away becuase of that. When she stays one week with her mom, her mom says dont mix too much with ur dad, And when she stays with her dad, her dad brings strange woman to her house. And when both parents meet they fight. This affected the girl so much, she ran away, and when the authorities found her, she says how nice will it be if i have both parents at home just like other children? Is this really ok. It may be ok 4 u as an adult? But is it ok 4 a child? Divorce is a nightmare 4 a kid? Do u know that?
The less the fathers see their kids however, the more they have to pay in child support. They are punnished for not seeing their kids.
A family is a respnsiblity. Why is it so difficult 4 u americans to be with kids? This punishment is good idea. But all this can be avoided if they werent absent in the 1st place. What im trying to say is, divorce 4 extreme reasons not just becos u dont get along. If u cany get along, try to get along, compromise a little. Love and life is about that. If one partner is angry the other is to be quiet, and then talk out the matter nicely. Divorce may nt affect the parents that much christian dove, but the kids? Its really sad? I feel that money cant pay up everytg, the best is t avoid divorce, so you can be with ur child, see them grow up. If u have kids, u ave to be responsible 4 them. No amount of money can replace a parent!
There is nothing wrong in working. People work to provide a happy environent 4 their family. Dont defeat the purpose, if your work eats in the time you spend with your children. The child support is good, it teaches lesson to those who are absent. But what i really am talking abt is, avoiding the whole situation in the 1st place. Isnt that better?
Even in islam, if you want to divorce you are given 3 months with no pressure from anyone so you can think whether ur decsion is good or bad. You are nt be under any influence, no lawyers nothing. So ur decsion will be solely made by you. And if u really feel divorce is necessary, then you are to support them even if u divorced them. Divorce is made really difficult in islam so as to avoid such a situation. Because divorce is a really bad thing
MEMBER HAS BEEN WARNED FOR VIOLATING FORUM RULE #9
format_quote Originally Posted by shanu
The life in america is really very weird. Isnt it? Spending time with ur family is such a burden that people choose holidays and feel that it is enough.
As I allready said, I am not american. Spending time with children is not a burden. You think fathers have been home with their kids always? Hello, use your head! Before people were hunters and fishers, fathers were gone for weeks or months. Nobody complained because thats how they got food. You think that parents dont spend time with their kids in the afternoons and weekends? Stop being so imensely fanatic about this.
Do you know what a family is?
Yes, i have kids, do you? Do you know what a family is? If clutching to your mother until you are way above 30 waiting for her to find a cousin you can marry is your idea of an family I have no problem with that. I however, moved into my own apartment when I was 16. It was great!
Or r u too one of the victims that never got a chance to learn what is a family. Family is abt spending time together. When you are sad abt smtg, you get home you see your mom, N talk to your dad, play games with him, have fights with your siblings over the silliest things, and then talk about ur ambitions with them after that. Sitting with ur grandmother and drinking tea, and learn about the traditional things she used to do. Work is not everything in life.
So you think these things are not normal amongst westerners? I spent plenty of time with my grand when she was alive, and my kids spend time with their grandmums. Oh my goodness, you are really brainwashed. There are some mental clinics with programs that will get you out of your psychosis you know...
You say its not really a problem, because you are not the child that suffered. I teach part time at a student care, i see children everyday. And this particular child who has nobody to hold on to in his family, Its really painful to see his tears and how he winthdraws withhin himself. And you say its ok?
So, what you are saying is that because of this ONE child with lousy parents that you know of, then all the parents in the west is contantly trying to avoid being with their kids and are just generally bad?
Why is it that the children have to be nomads and stay one week with one parent. A girl in my place ran away becuase of that. When she stays one week with her mom, her mom says dont mix too much with ur dad, And when she stays with her dad, her dad brings strange woman to her house.
Again, that is ONE example. I can name plenty that didn't have a problem with this. There is no country on the face of the earth were everyone is happy and everything is perfect. And it is common knowledge that one does not talk bad about the other parent to ones own child. This will create conflict within the child and is a very bad thing to do. It is close to child abuse and parents doing so here actually risk being released of their rights to see the child.
And when both parents meet they fight. This affected the girl so much, she ran away, and when the authorities found her, she says how nice will it be if i have both parents at home just like other children? Is this really ok. It may be ok 4 u as an adult? But is it ok 4 a child? Divorce is a nightmare 4 a kid? Do u know that?
Yes, she had stupid parents, not my fault. You think it would have been better for her having her parents living togheter hearing them fight EVERY SINGLE DAY? Hello...? Parents need to learn what is the best for their kids, fighting while the kids hearing it is wrong, and most parents will avoid this.
The less the fathers see their kids however, the more they have to pay in child support. They are punnished for not seeing their kids.
A family is a respnsiblity. Why is it so difficult 4 u americans to be with kids? This punishment is good idea. But all this can be avoided if they werent absent in the 1st place. What im trying to say is, divorce 4 extreme reasons not just becos u dont get along. If u cany get along, try to get along, compromise a little. Love and life is about that. If one partner is angry the other is to be quiet, and then talk out the matter nicely. Divorce may nt affect the parents that much christian dove, but the kids? Its really sad? I feel that money cant pay up everytg, the best is t avoid divorce, so you can be with ur child, see them grow up. If u have kids, u ave to be responsible 4 them. No amount of money can replace a parent!
So what you say is that people who are divorced haven't tried anything, they just suddenly moves? THey enjoy going through the traumas of divorce? How naive are you really? In Norway, if you have kids, you have to go through 3 counsellings to try and sort things out before you can even ask for a divorce. My own parents got divorced. They decided to wait until I was adult until they did it, however, I disapproved of them. I think they should have gotten their divorce at least 5 years before they did, in stead of living in a cold marriage with no love. You think us kids didn't notice? Kids are so smart, the see and understand a lot more than adult thinks. If they see a married couple (their parents) who are constantly fighting they will think that this is the correct thing to do in a marriage, and then bring it along to their own marriage.
There is nothing wrong in working. People work to provide a happy environent 4 their family. Dont defeat the purpose, if your work eats in the time you spend with your children. The child support is good, it teaches lesson to those who are absent. But what i really am talking abt is, avoiding the whole situation in the 1st place. Isnt that better?
Yes, but perhaps you should know a little bit more about what you actually are talking about before opening your mouth? How about fathers who are abusive? Now I know that amongst muslims it isn't really easy for a woman to break out from an abussive marriage, some stay in these marrieges for YEARS, with suffering for themselves AND the kids, you think that is any better?
Even in islam, if you want to divorce you are given 3 months with no pressure from anyone so you can think whether ur decsion is good or bad. You are nt be under any influence, no lawyers nothing. So ur decsion will be solely made by you. And if u really feel divorce is necessary, then you are to support them even if u divorced them. Divorce is made really difficult in islam so as to avoid such a situation. Because divorce is a really bad thing
3 months?? Wow... Did you know that here it is 2 YEARS!!!? It will take 2 years to get a divorce.
And I am not american, how many times do I have to say it.. And I am really sorry that I am so harsh but you really annoy me. Off course divorce is a bad thing, but guess what? Most kids grow up to be good people even if their parents was divorced. It is not good, in fact it is bad, but let's not make it sound a lot worse than it really is.
Last edited by Christian_dove; 02-12-2006 at 02:25 PM.
1stly divorce is certainly frowned upon in Islam. And I would love to correct you as you have misunderstood me greatly, or maybe you hadn’t bothered to learn the correct procedures of islam as I’ve assumed earlier that you may have. It’s a sad fact that you know little of our religion and you talk as you have learnt a great deal.
I have one request that you should read through this with much patience so that you would not make the grave error of talking without having background knowledge of Islam my dear brother.
Divorce as a last option:
Although divorce being allowed in Islam is a sign of the lenience and practical nature of the Islamic legal system, keeping the unity of the family is considered a priority for the sake of the children. For this reason, divorce is always a last choice, after exhausting all possible means of reconciliation. For example, Allah addresses men asking them to try hard to keep the marriage, even if they dislike their wives:
.
.. live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.
Surah 4 Verse 19
Also the following verse is addressed to women asking them the same thing:
If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; ...
Surah 4 Verse 128
The very 1st part of divorce is to propose it verbally. That is the man says “Talaq” 3 times. Talaq here refers to Divorce or I divorce you. And Divorce can be initiated by the husband or by the wife. The husband has the right to pronounce the words of divorce (talaq) to his wife. He can also give her a statement of divorce in writing. The wife can seek divorce from her husband through khul`, but if he refuses to grant her request then she can seek the dissolution of marriage through the court of law.
A husband who wants to divorce his wife should use the words of divorce with full awareness after much thinking and consideration. Using the words of divorce in haste or anger is not right. The proper procedure is to give divorce when a woman is not pregnant and is not going through her monthly menstrual cycle. Divorce can take place by saying one time "I have divorced you" (talluqtuki) or "You are divorced" (anti taliq). After this the women should spend the time of her `iddah.
.The basic rule is that divorce must be uttered with full consciousness and without any coercion. If a person pronounced the words of divorce to his wife, in a fit of anger, while he lost all control over himself or due to the influence of intoxicants which he sinfully consumed, or he was forced by someone else to do so, then in all these cases his words of divorce are null and void and have no effect
In other words, your intention of divorce must be clear, and this words must be said after much thinking and consideration. Words which are thrown out of anger, or under the influence of alcohol or under the influence of others will only make the statement of divorce invalid.
And if he decide to proceed on with the divorce, he must know that after divorce he will be responsible to provide her maintenance during her `iddah and if there are any children in the family then he will be responsible for their expenses. Thus to grant her that right equally with the husband while she has no financial obligation is unfair and unjust. The wife can, however, divorce her husband if her husband gave her that right either at the time of marriage or afterwards.
Now after this part, come the 3 months waiting period where CHRISTIAN DOVE has clearly misunderstood what I had to say. The procedure of divorce in Islam is such as to encourage reconciliation where possible. After divorce the woman should wait three monthly cycles during which her husband remains responsible for her welfare and maintenance. He is not permitted to drive her out of the house during this period. She has been advised not to leave the house of the divorcing husband, in order to enhance the chances of reconciliation, as well as to protect her right of sustenance during the three months waiting period. The main purpose of this waiting period is to clarify whether the divorced wife is or is not expecting a child. Its second use is as a cooling-off period during which the relatives and other members of the family or of the community may try to help towards a reconciliation and better understanding between the partners. The Qur'an says:
"And if you fear a breach between the two, then appoint judge from his people and a judge from her people; if they both desire agreement, Allah will effect harmony between them, surely Allah is Knowing, Aware." (4:35).
If they are reconciled they may resume the marriage relations at any time within the waiting period, whereupon the divorce is automatically revoked. If further trouble arises and divorce is pronounced a second time, the same procedure is followed. Only if the matter reaches a third divorce does it become irrevocable. The wife is then to leave the house and is free after three monthly cycles to marry another man if she wishes. The first husband is not then permitted to remarry her unless she has in the meantime married another man and been divorced in usual legal manner.
So u see, it doesn’t take just 3 months for a divorce, this 3 months is ONLY a waiting period whereby, the husband and the wife continue to live together in the same house so as to encourage them to get together again. And chances of getting back together is high, as the couples are close when they live in the same house, So its not really that easy for a divorce is it?
Now even after this period, they both feel they really need to divorce, and then only the divorce proceedings begin. Islam never gives way to rash decisions, this 3 months period is given to them so they can sit down and think in sober minds whether it was really a right step and they can get back easily together within this 3 months.
And if they still want a major separation, the divorce proceedings will go on. The third divorce falls in the third category, because they cannot go back to one another, till after the wife ‘happens’ to marry someone else, then ‘happens’ to get divorced by him. In this case, she can go back to her first husband. Such a tough rule was made as a punishment and a way of preventing people from misusing this tolerant ruling of permitting divorce. The word ‘happens’ is parenthesized because the woman's new marriage and divorce should come naturally without planning, as many people might do to legalize her return to the first husband!
Do you think divorce in islam is as easy as buying a sweet. Yes its not as long as 2 years nor is it very short.. 2 years in fact is very long. 1stly, in a western society during this 2 years, the couples are not usually living in the same house, Chances of getting back together is quite low actually. And its really unfair on the woman’s part of the husband is a wife beater and she has to wait TWO whole years to get away from him? And I hope I have cleared your misconception about the 3 months? Its not that easy to abandon woman in islam.
Next time dont mock without learning, please if you dont like us, dont stick to the forum and vomit out ur hate. Its only making urself ridicuolous as you can see we dont mock yours. The reason being that Our beloved Isa is involved in your religion, And we believe in one thing. You follow ur belief, i follow mine. I shall not believe in what you believe and you shall not believe in what i believe, Peace on u Christian Dove
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Quote
Re: Morality in western society
H 
Do you by chance live in the country?? Not trying to be "smart" or anything.....But where are you getting your facts...........Divorce is the highest ever...Aids is most certinly is high here....and have u been to wal-mart lately?....Last time i went, the half naket people shocked me.....some so very young, standing right beside parents....and as far as the welfare---Thats a joke---ask any elder person...as I have seen and talked to them,,,and even bought them medication...Its my opinion and mine only---But USA needs to feel ashamed for the treatment of its elder and the children....
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks