Baby Killin'

wow......great poem.....

Well, I am not a sis. Just to humour you I will comment. Don't have a nack for poem though.

I think this line should be:

"We possest killin offspring like the pests"

I deleted the "cos" and changed the "they" to "the".

format_quote Originally Posted by Skillganon

Well, I am not a sis. Just to humour you I will comment. Don't have a nack for poem though.

I think this line should be:

"We possest killin offspring like the pests"

I deleted the "cos" and changed the "they" to "the".

How would that make sense?

The thing is that before I asked God to free us from demons, to show the reasons why I had asked such a thing i said 'because we are possesed, killing our off spring like they are pest'

Just said it in slang

Not quite at the Sis level brother Skill

This is for the dropped seeds siezed for they got to breathe~
Deceased by the op of greed I grieve for what could have been~
Concieved in a whirlwind a world well menacing would have been a product of sin~
Would just seen green corrupt to win, but if I flipped the scene~
Abrupt as it may seem, and although life is hard given the choice you would not have given in~
Hearing your voice makes me conclude that I could win~
Fearing loss of my boy makes me strive to bring-endless joy~
Sing-relentless OH BOY Wonder if you understand~
When your a fetus fitted with umbilical cord in hand~
Was this meant to happen is this really God's life plan~
A life span of less week than I could count in one hand?
Wonder if Ibrahim aborted his children where would we be man
Grieve for em, fetus from semen, Lord free us from demons
Cos we possest killing offspring like the pests
Nevertheless with zest you jump in bed with the next

Man..

Sometimes I sit stare equipt with a tear~
Wonder if I was aborted would I be exalted from the pain~
I encounter day by day set free from instances that we call fate~
Maybe she wanted to abort me but it was too late~
Loss too great, lost in this whirlwind~
As I toss through the criss cross of life's crises~
They say Christ sees my crime sprees wish time freeze~
Why would I want an ice piece when families aborting kids~
Cos of financial insecurities substantial cure be~
Contraception an intervention before the seed flourished and got killed~
Before the seed was nourished then got grilled~
argh this op got me ill stop droping something so so real~
Trust you can feel him inside, move about full of life~

I corrected some spelling if you don't mind.

format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi

How would that make sense?

The thing is that before I asked God to free us from demons, to show the reasons why I had asked such a thing i said 'because we are possesed, killing our off spring like they are pest'

Just said it in slang

Not quite at the Sis level brother Skill

soz. You can keep the "Cos" just change "they" into "they're". That will be better slang.

Not quite at the Sis level brother Skill

lol....concieved...not concived.....and menacing...not menecing...abrupt....not aborupt

see wat he means bro skill....

ooops.......we posted at the same time...i guess u corrected all the mistakes....

format_quote Originally Posted by Skillganon

I corrected some spelling if you don't mind.

Seriously for effort you out class the sisters, for actual validity, lol they out class you

I only saw the change of Abraham to Ibrahim lol PEACE BE UPON HIM

format_quote Originally Posted by al_imaan_786

^^lol....concieved...not concived.....and menacing...not menecing...abrupt....not aborupt

see wat he means bro skill....

ooops.......we posted at the same time....

Thats what I am talking about.

format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi

Seriously for effort you out class the sisters, for actual validity, lol they out class you

I only saw the change of Abraham to Ibrahim lol PEACE BE UPON HIM



Thats what I am talking about.

lol I hope you did not mind.

I Just might have a go at this poetry stuff too.

format_quote Originally Posted by Skillganon

lol I hope you did not mind.

I Just might have a go at this poetry stuff too.

No akhi, its fun!! And I Love you!

Anyhow, yea have a go, just dont get hooked.

Let me start you off, you can write:

Without Hesitation My Inspiration Became My Aspiration...

nice poem brother, and no i don't have any suggestions to make it better i probably end up destroying it

Nice poem bro...I like

Hmm....good!

Foetus*

Umbilical*

There may be more, i'm crap at spelling too, your not alone, copy and paste into word and try spell check, although ur slang words will pick up too,

Peace!

Mashallaah this is an excellent poem, very deep Mashallaah!

I don't know if you made the layout deliberate, so I altered certain things to emphasise certain parts? and the red highlighted part is where I corrected spellings. I hope you don't mind.

Mashallaah though

This is for the dropped seeds seized for they got to breathe,
Deceased by the op of greed I grieve for what could have been,
Conceived in a whirlwind a world well menacing would have been a product of sin,
Woulda just seen green curropt to win,
but if i flipped the scene?
Abrupt as it may seem, and although life is hard given the choice you would not have given in,
Hearing your voice makes me conclude that I could win,
Fearing loss of my boy makes me strive to bring-endless joy,
Sing-relentless
OH BOY
Wonder if you understand,
When your a foetus fitted with umbilical cord in hand,
Was this meant to happen?
is this really God's life plan?
A life span of less weeks than I could count in one hand?
Wonder if Abraham aborted his children where would we be man
Grieve for em,
foetus from semen,
Lord free us from demons,
Cos we possess killin offspring like they're pests
Nevertheless
with zest you jump in bed with the next

Man..

Sometimes I sit stare equipped with a tear,
Wonder if I was aborted would I be exalted from the pain,
I encounter day by day set free from instancees that we call fate,
Maybe she wanted to abort me but it was too late?
Loss too great,
lost in this whilrwind,
As I toss through the crisscross of life's crisis~
They say Christ sees my crime sprees wish time freeze,
Why would I want an ice piece when families aborting kids?
Cos of financial insecurities substantial cure be,
Contraception an intervention before the seed flourished and got killed,
Before the seed was nourished then got grilled,
argh,
this op got me ill stop dropping somethin so so real
Trust you can feel him inside, move about full of life.

SP that's really wierd, because this was more of a rap, and I got a flow to it and the way you write it was nearly perfectly the same as I would have 'rapped' it.