Fatherless Father

As my eyes set sight on my kid in a crib I could hardly afford
My own seed still found him hard to hold could to touch
Never been shown love so I couldnt do as such
Emotionless as my little finger he would clutch
Soon it became too much
So I found myself stuck on the clutch
Easy way out just seems more appealing
Found myself kneeling
Praying to be woken from this nightmare I was dreaming
Seening my own kid grow for my eyes
Troubled by the violence arguements and lies
Silent temperment an element I would deny
Just as I had been in my childhhood life
Wish I knew what to do feel like a fool
Remenis instancees from my own childhood
No good should I surrender-I would but I remember
How hate infiltrate my mindstate when
I thought about my father rather back then
Why he bother split man
Wish I could put it down for you to understand
Apprehand I aint have the upper hand I didnt intend for this to happen
But Im happy when I see a smile makes the pain worth while
In denile pile on the stress your mum's messed
Slowly put hand on ur chest felt your heartbeat my heart skipped
Flipped wish I could show you life every step from the first on earth
Catch every tear wept read you story for you slept
Crept bed side hear your breath make me feel alive
Took long to form a bond tryna respond but I dont wanna get it wrong
I wanna reach but I aint been caught
I wanna teach but I aint been taught
Fought the demons screaming man why did I drop this man
See man I dont wanna flee son
YOUR THE SEED THAT I PLANTED SO I MUST FEED YE AND NEVER TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED

There's quite abit edited to make it more palitable, so it isnt as easy flowing but yall get the picture right?