I have a friend he used to smoke weed and do a bunch of other drugs and all this stuff he still believes in allah but he denies alcohol is haram and stuff he has a very big ego and all he talks about is how rich he is and he can be very arrogant and then he talks about how much zina he commits and all this stuff like he doesn't pray or anything his mom knows he does this stuff he says she doesn't care but she doesn't let him smoke in the house (he has a big house and stuff) and like blocked him because he was even greedy even though he had so much money like for example he would always use over people's intoxicants and then use his intoxicants for himself i don't really care because he's still using intoxicants which either way is haram but like idk I unblocked him and re added him and I want to try to guide him back to Islam how should I go about this and should I do it during ramadan he identifies as a Muslim
Last edited by Bobbyflay23; 05-13-2017 at 10:18 PM.
This seems to be a common problem in the youth. The issue as you've said is the arrogance. These people commit the haram but don't feel ashamed. The first step towards change would be to have the feeling of humility in their hearts. At least with shame they can go from showing off and committing sins to hiding their sins as they open their hearts and minds to learn about what is right and wrong, and eventually they will leave them and sincerely repent.
It would be difficult to take someone in such a low state of iman and change them completely. It's something that has to be done slowly...like beginning with the basics. Where does he get the idea that drinking and smoking aren't haram? He has to correct his knowledge at least lol.
This seems to be a common problem in the youth. The issue as you've said is the arrogance. These people commit the haram but don't feel ashamed. The first step towards change would be to have the feeling of humility in their hearts. At least with shame they can go from showing off and committing sins to hiding their sins as they open their hearts and minds to learn about what is right and wrong, and eventually they will leave them and sincerely repent.
It would be difficult to take someone in such a low state of iman and change them completely. It's something that has to be done slowly...like beginning with the basics. Where does he get the idea that drinking and smoking aren't haram? He has to correct his knowledge at least lol.
I don't know where he gets his knowledge on that but honestly I have never seen anyone more arrogant than him like even my arrogant friend blocked him because of how arrogant he is but I see hope in him because he's the only Muslim in youth that I know that isn't family and I want a real Muslim friend I just want to see if I can guide him I just say alhumdillah he didn't just leave he religion because he clearly doesn't care about his moms feelings or anything so that means he's not keeping his outshell of saying he's a Muslim just because of his mom plus instead of telling me he's a muslim since his mom wasn't around he would tell me he's aetheist so that means he has atleast enough iman for rasool allah saw to intercede for him on the day of judgement but still I want to help him out what should be the first thing I should do I want to schudule to hangout with him on Monday I dont want to give him the idea that I'm trying to preach to him so how should I start off by talking to him and I'm assuming he's going to talk about his sins quite a bit should I shun him when he does that or not because I think he's not going to listen to me and become arrogant to anything I say if I tell him his sins are bad and stuff
Last edited by Bobbyflay23; 05-13-2017 at 11:11 PM.
I don't know where he gets his knowledge on that but honestly I have never seen anyone more arrogant than him like even my arrogant friend blocked him because of how arrogant he is but I see hope in him because he's the only Muslim in youth that I know that isn't family and I want a real Muslim friend I just want to see if I can guide him I just say alhumdillah he didn't just leave he religion because he clearly doesn't care about his moms feelings or anything so that means he's not keeping his outshell of saying he's a Muslim just because of his mom plus instead of telling me he's a muslim since his mom wasn't around he would tell me he's aetheist so that means he has atleast enough iman for rasool allah saw to intercede for him on the day of judgement but still I want to help him out what should be the first thing I should do I want to schudule to hangout with him on Monday I dont want to give him the idea that I'm trying to preach to him so how should I start off by talking to him and should I act as if I'm cool with drugs at first so he feels comfortable with me I used to smoke with him so I think he might still be comfortable with me idk
I don't think you should pretend to like something which is haram just for him to accept you. You should find some common ground though so that you have a connection and a place to go from there. You can ask him about his family life and figure out where it all went downhill lol. People who utilize drugs are trying to numb themselves from pain or tragedy, have no self-esteem and are easily persuaded by others, or they have low iq's/ignorant of the wrong they do. If you can figure out why he started in the first place and he can open up to you, then that'll be a start.
I don't think you should pretend to like something which is haram just for him to accept you. You should find some common ground though so that you have a connection and a place to go from there. You can ask him about his family life and figure out where it all went downhill lol. People who utilize drugs are trying to numb themselves from pain or tragedy, have no self-esteem and are easily persuaded by others, or they have low iq's/ignorant of the wrong they do. If you can figure out why he started in the first place and he can open up to you, then that'll be a start.
His dads a drug lord ans his mom divorced him because of it he lives with his mom I think his grandma lives with him too he is Arabic like me infact I think he's the exact type of Arabic I am and his house is like decorated in a middle eastern style I don't know much else about him other then his love for zina and drugs last I met him he was trying to quite the hard and addicting drugs
He doesn't seem depressed or anything he seems very happy I just asked him if he wants to chill on monday and he said idk I think I should lure him to hang out by offering him to take him out to eat because usually he only hangs if he has some sortve benifit
His dads a drug lord ans his mom divorced him because of it he lives with his mom I think his grandma lives with him too he is Arabic like me infact I think he's the exact type of Arabic I am and his house is like decorated in a middle eastern style I don't know much else about him other then his love for zina and drugs last I met him he was trying to quite the hard and addicting drugs
Maybe you could ask him about the progress of him quitting? He may seem happy on the outside, but it's because he's not awake to the reality of life unfortunately. Maybe not having a proper dad in his life affects him.
Ok I'll try that out If he's willing to meet up inshallah I'll start off by letting him talk about stuff and update me about how life's been and then I'll start trying to get to him and open his heart up
Ok I'll try that out If he's willing to meet up inshallah I'll start off by letting him talk about stuff and update me about how life's been and then I'll start trying to get to him and open his heart up
Make du'a that allah guides Him and opens his heart to your advice. May Allah grant you ease and success in helping guide him ameen.
Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Ilyaas (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) once mentioned:
Many people feel that Tableegh means to inform people of the message of Deen. However, this is not the complete understanding of the meaning of Tableegh. Rather, Tableegh means to convey the message of Deen to the people to the best of one’s ability, in such a beautiful manner that people are inclined towards Deen and there is hope in them accepting the message. This was the manner in which the Ambiyaa (alayhimus salaam) carried out the effort of Tableegh.
(Malfoozaat Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Ilyaas (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) pg. 129)
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