Where I live there are so many young Muslim women today who tell me that it doesn't exactly say in the Qur'an that a woman should cover her hair. Now, I've seen the verses in the Qur'an in reference to it so I don't need those to be quoted but please do it if it's beneficial to what you're trying to explain for me and maybe other non-Muslims who may be lurking here and have the same question.
On my campus at the university the women are split into two groups. The girls who wear the hijab and the girls who don't. The girls who wear the hijab are seen as more religious and respected whereas the girls who don't wear the hijab are more so outcasts and frowned upon. Especially in MSA. This is the behavior that I am seeing as a non-Muslim. To learn more about Islam I have started to hang out with more sisters and this divide that I am seeing is a bit troubling. I've been told by the girls who don't wear it that hijab has much more to do with culture than it has to do with Islam. What are your thoughts on this?
I know my religious status here says Christian but this is something that I would like to be informed about. For all of the sisters out there why do you or don't you wear the hijab? To the men, what is your take on women who wear it in comparison to those who don't?
Just so you all know I am not against wearing hijab. In fact I respect the Muslim women so much who wear it and it puts a smile on my face every time I see a young woman with her hijab on because I see the presence of the ummah in my area which could be a reason in and of itself to wear it.
But convince me. As a non-Muslim, show me evidence, give me a reason to wear the hijab. (I am aware that there is a verse about it in the Bible)
I think that girls who don't want to wear hijab, are seriously suffering from some low self esteem or some kind of an image complex where they think that wearing it hinders their self projection as a sound person or gets in the way of their 'true personality" .
i dont intend to sound mean, but they should really refresh their concept of tauheed. (oneness of Allah swt). WAllahe when guidance comes to you, how can you doubt one commandment from Allah swt deeming it insignificant, and yet arrogating one's closeness to deen in spirit/actions and whatever else they hang on to. And most who vehemently defy the hijab are so hell bent against it, they claim to interpret the verses with their own limited intellect and expect the audience to applause in awe of their wisdom!
There is only one thing that can be said to them, one must strive to achieve guidance from Allah swt and one must pray SINCERELY to Him to show them the right way if they really seek it, it is the promise of Allah swt that He never rejects the prayer for true guidance. unless they 're afraid that their conviction for non-hijbiness will falter, if they are sincere muslims they will be rightly inspired and if not, they're only fooling themselves.
Sister Fatima, it's interesting that you mention this. Over the weekend I attended a lecture on Surah Rahman by Numan Ali Khan, and he mentioned this very thing. In the Muslim community, there are a lot of sisters with low self-esteem. They see all these Western girls showing a lot of skin with their manner of dress getting all the attention from the guys, and they want that attention, so they think that they have to dress like that too.
A lot of it is because their fathers never pay them much attention at home, so they lack that strong male presence. It is the same with non-Muslim girls as well. I have met a fair number of non-Muslim girls with self-esteem issues largely because of a lack of father or a bad relationship with their father. They try to get that attention from guys and end up doing things they shouldn't do.
So I think that some of the blame has to go on the parents here, particularly the fathers. Now, I don't pretend to know how to be a parent. I don't have kids, so I can't tell anyone how to raise one. I'm just passing on the message that I heard on Saturday. Don't shoot the messenger, dude.
" Fires shots " : ) Dont worry, I completely agree with you here, so i wont kill you : p. Most of the time this is the reason why girls don't find the courage to cover up in front of strange males, since its a part of their nature to get some sort of appreciation to feel good about themselves and when that appreciation lacks at home, they seek it outside. This thing is very common where I live and I am a bit too familiar with it, but sadly king of nines, ours is a male chauvinist culture( and chauvinism is not Islamic, not that i know of at least), men mostly defend their chauvinism by twisting religious interpretations, and most women ; ironically their mothers, grandmothers etc highly SUPPORT their chauvinism when, obviously it is shown to the wifes and daughters ( to maintain their dominance since ours is mostly a joint family system where 2,3,4 brothers, married with their families might need to live together to share expenses).
Then comes the double standards that are attached with chauvinism, clearly un-islamic, where some men go out and about with females, have fun, and then discard such girls to settle down for 'decent pious girls, since out-going girls are not considered good home makers, aren't doormats. And It is despicable that these very men keep a very close eye on their own sisters, restrict their movements, and yet they ruin the sisters of other brothers, and the saddest part of this dilemma is their parents supporting their sons, calling the behaviour ' innocent mistakes' and 'men can get away with it' kind of statements, but at the same time not withstanding any such mistake from females and going extremely harsh with them if anyone found involved in such a thing.
Anyhow, there's little women are left with to do about it than just be patient, they still have to be the strong ones, and they are taught Not to expect any sort of emotional support from the males members of the family , though this is very un-Islamic, but this culture has taken deep roots in some muslim societies. And the reason for that can easily be explained by male dominance, lack of religious education for both men and women, religious sermons from people who are not scholars, and such pseudo scholars mostly emphasizing on the duties of women in the mans life but never on the man's role in the women's life, so there we have a very big problem which has strong links to the male ego. But since there are people in this world who are raised without parents, one can only blame them just about that much, ofcourse we must strive to improve this state of affairs but if unfortunately faced with this situation, One can pray to Allah swt for things to change for the better,and make our eeman strong so that we don't fall in traps to our emotional weaknesses.
So yes you're very right and I wish muslim men would understand how important it is for them to bond with their daughters , wives, and sisters. I see very few girls who are close to their fathers, and I must say they have a very strong personality, are very self assured. And girls who have their fathers/brothers keeping a very safe distance from them, treating them as only some women in the house who are there to serve our needs, have un-stable , weak personalities and they seek to affirm their emotional worth outside their homes by not covering, trying to attract attention or any other activity. Others who do not cover are those who belong to liberal families where religion is used only as a prayer/ ritual when a person is born, married, and dies. May we all be guided to the right path and may we be saved from the tricks of satan and hell fire, ameen.
I also heard a very nice lecture i'll link it up here. It instructs men to be really gentle with women while telling them of the commandment from Allah swt, and also assert the fact that they ask of women to do so and so not because they want it, but because it is Allah swt who requires it from them. It is a very nice lecture from one of my favorite scholars.
I think that girls who don't want to wear hijab, are seriously suffering from some low self esteem or some kind of an image complex where they think that wearing it hinders their self projection as a sound person or gets in the way of their 'true personality" .
There are other reasons too. I've heard a Muslim women not wearing a Hijab because she was worried that she might be discriminated at her workplace or she might draw too much attention to herself.
Some may be scared because they have heard stories about Muslim women wearing the Hijab and getting attacked by some non-Muslims.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
And there are manyyyy who dont cover because they fear not finding good proposals, and that is also very true..It has become harder for practising muslims to find appropriate spouses...
I never heard of that one. I noticed most men from my culture want Muslim women to be covered up.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
Look at the people that we generally consider to be uncivilized. I mean like the primitive tribes living in the jungle. How are they dressed? Naked or nearly naked, right? So what happens when they become civilized. Do they take off their clothes or do they put on more clothes? A sign of their becoming civilized is that they begin to put on more clothes, right?
Now look at the people who generally consider themselves to be civilized. I mean like the advanced tribes living in the West. How are they dressed? More specifically, what do they consider proper attire for men and women? Do they apply the same dress code for men and women? No, they don't.
Just take a look at any formal function. Their men are all dressed up, fully covered up to the neck, under two or three layers of clothes. Hoiw about their women? Dressed as expensively as possible in as little clothes as possible, right? If a man turns up at a formal function with, say, his shirt unbuttoned, his peers would think that he is not properly attired. Yet they expect their women to turn up for formal function with as many buttons undone as possible.
Don't you see a conspiracy here? Their men have brainwashed their women into thinking that it is civilized to show as much skin as possible while the men themselves, knowing better, cover up as much skin as possible. What are their men trying to do? What else but to satisfy their lustful natures! And their women haven't got enough intelligence to see through the ploy.
So, my dear sisers, think about that whenever you may feel the urge to be modern by exposing yourselves. I am sure you have more working brain cells than some of those advanced tribewomen!
I never heard of that one. I noticed most men from my culture want Muslim women to be covered up.
yeah they do want them to be covered up, After marriage : ) before marriage all they look for is beauty and since they cannot guage the looks of a person wearing the veil, they mostly choose from non hijab wearing pretty girls, 'cause they rely on their dawah abilities a lot to bring the change of deen in their wives, looks however cannot be changed after marriage ... ( ok thats sounds like a serious accusation on Asian muslim men but ahh what can i say, i hear it all the time :s I'm sure there are many other out there who prefer a personality too with extreme good looks too hence where I live, most muslim women do not feel the motivation to cover themselves up because men always seem to prefer girls who they find pretty, and prettily dressed up, things are very slowly changing though but very slow )
In fishing you use different lures to catch different types of fish. Ditto for marriage. If the idea is to get a husband who wants a pretty wife, then look pretty. Just remember that such men would look for another pretty face in next to no time. Would that kind of men be what you want for a husband?
I'm going to be Devil's Advocate here and say something that might upset some of you.
Anyone who says that looks doesn't matter when finding a marriage partner is a liar. Looks are important. Would you want to be with someone you couldn't stand to look at? I wouldn't.
But that having been said, looks are not the be all and end all. I look for a woman that is intelligent and strong in her faith as well as having a sense of humor. If she can laugh and have a good time, carry on a decent conversation, and help me become a better man, I can work with everything else. She doesn't have to be a smoking hot supermodel (those women don't exist anyway), but decent looking enough that I feel attracted to her.
I'm going to be Devil's Advocate here and say something that might upset some of you.
Anyone who says that looks doesn't matter when finding a marriage partner is a liar. Looks are important. Would you want to be with someone you couldn't stand to look at? I wouldn't.
Salaam,
That's true. Looks are important in marriage.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
sure they are, but women almost always have to settle for normal weird looking guys, who have very un-important looks : P
So! that makes women very Nice , and more faithful than men, who cant even devote themselves to their partners ( at least in their thoughts) if they aren't very good looking.
Define to me what is normal weird looking guys. What do you mean by un-important looks?
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
sure they are, but women almost always have to settle for normal weird looking guys, who have very un-important looks : P
So! that makes women very Nice , and more faithful than men, who cant even devote themselves to their partners ( at least in their thoughts) if they aren't very good looking.
so that proves men are shallow!<_<
Haha. Not all men are shallow, but plenty are. Course, there are also shallow girls.
The way I think about it is that some girls who were not "attractive" were some of the kindest women I have ever met. They had impeccable personal hygiene, they just did not have the looks that guys wanted. Well, all those shallow guys who cared so much about looks missed out. The guys who came along and fell in love with who the girls were began to see them for the beauty inside of these girls. Those guys were the truly lucky ones.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." --Martin Luther King Jr.
Yes, looks are important for initial attraction, but if that's all a woman has, I won't be around for very long. There has to be some intelligence and a sense of humor as well for me to maintain a relationship. If I have to explain everything to her, then that will get old quick and I'll be done.
I have rarely seen beautiful woman with an awesome sense of humor, you just dont get everything now do you? God has given beauty to some, and then humor to some, no fair giving everything to the beautiful one isnt it? who would marry the humourous ones then ?
I have rarely seen beautiful woman with an awesome sense of humor, you just dont get everything now do you? God has given beauty to some, and then humor to some, no fair giving everything to the beautiful one isnt it? who would marry the humourous ones then ?
The same can be said of men too. I've always been considered a funny guy, sometimes cute, but rarely handsome.
I would rather have an average looking woman with intelligence and a sense of humor over a smoking hot woman with nothing else going for her.
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Why should I wear hijab? (OP)
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hence where I live, most muslim women do not feel the motivation to cover themselves up because men always seem to prefer girls who they find pretty, and prettily dressed up, things are very slowly changing though but very slow )
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