Online dating?

Dating is haraam, regardless of what means are used.

There are, however, match making sites that are becoming very popular with muslims. Sites like www.shaadi.com have lot of muslims going to select their potential partners. It by no means you start exhanging photos and get "friendly", it is to find someone with common interests and then families of both sides are involved in it. I have an article on this, inshallah i'll share that tonight.

Premarital relationship is haram for muslims to engage. Premarital relationship will lead to illegal sex. I understand that their are worse situation for new muslims when it comes to match making. They are a lot of solutions for new brothers\sisters to get match. The whole muslim community needs to address those merriage issues such as match making. Working as a community will support to solve those issues.

format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow

dating in any form is Haraam

Could you explain? How do people decide to get married without dating? Are all Muslim marriages by necessity arranged? Or is there a proper model for courtship? Thanks

CNET: Muslims turning to Web for Marriage
When "Sweetgal," a 29-year-old British Muslim from central England, began looking for a new husband last year, at first she didn't know where to turn.

The answer, it turned out, was on the Internet.

She'd been married once--a union arranged by her parents--to a man from Pakistan. It lasted seven years and produced children but broke down due to cultural differences and she didn't want to go through a similar trauma again.

At the same time, being a respectful Muslim who wears hijab, she wasn't going to start "dating," and knew her parents would have to be involved in her new search in one way or another.

Over the past two years there has been a boom in the use of Web sites that introduce Muslim men and women, not for casual dating, but for those actively seeking traditional Muslim marriage.

Where once young British Muslims might have had a marriage arranged to a spouse from the country of their parents' origin--perhaps Pakistan or Bangladesh--it is now much more common for them to marry within the Muslim community in Britain.

"Whereas before she would meet 10 or 20 people through her family, now she potentially has millions to choose from...It has put power in her hands, allowing her to shape her destiny when it comes to marriage."
--Geeta Sri Vastav, UK head of Shaadi.com
Sweetgal, who spoke to Reuters on condition of anonymity, has been registered on www.singlemuslim.com for several months, in which time she's found someone she hopes could be a marriage prospect. She does not allow her picture to appear on the site.

"My parents are coming round (to the idea)," she said. "He's a British Pakistani Muslim and more in line with what I'm looking for.

Where marriages used to be fixed up solely by parents with the help of religious leaders, the Internet now plays an influential role in bringing partners together, even if parents remain part of the equation.

Singlemuslim.com, which calls itself Britain's largest Muslim introductions agency, has seen registered users more than double over the past year to 100,000, as word has spread about its service, not only among singles but their parents too.

Such is the demand for trustworthy introductions that its founder is now opening sites in the United States, Canada and Australia to cater to large Muslim communities there.

"Our success rate is extremely high," said Adeem Younis, who founded the site from his base in West Yorkshire six years ago.

"Two people a day, on average, are coming off the site having found success, which is a lot really. We're seeing the number of traditionally arranged marriages dropping quite rapidly as this becomes more popular."

More straightforward
"For some people it's difficult because I've got children," said Sweetgal. "I want someone who is caring and understands where I'm coming from. That's why the site's really useful--I can be so much more straightforward on the Web."

Sweetgal is not alone. One of the most marked effects of the growth of sites that cater to Muslims as well as Sikhs, Hindus, Tamils and others across South Asia looking for traditional marriage, is the empowerment of women.

On some sites, more than half the registered users are professional women with above-average incomes who use the service to save time and broaden the scope of their search. They are direct and demanding about what they are looking for.

"It's been a major revolution," said Geeta Sri Vastav, the UK head of www.shaadi.com, which calls itself the world's largest matrimonial service, with 10 million registered users, most in South Asia--in India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh.

In Britain, where 700,000 people are registered, 40 percent of users say they have an average annual income of 40,000 pounds or $80,000.

"In the past, an Asian woman who came of age didn't have too many choices in terms of marriage. But the Internet has increased her options immensely," Sri Vastav said.

"Whereas before she would meet 10 or 20 people through her family, now she potentially has millions to choose from. She has the initiative. It has put power in her hands, allowing her to shape her destiny when it comes to marriage."

Family-friendly
Another impact of the sites, particularly in Britain, where there are approximately 1.8 million Muslims, is to increase the tendency for young people to "marry in," rather than looking to marry someone from their "home" country.

Rapid changes in lifestyle, wealth and outlook have increased the gap between Britain and the countries where most of its Muslims originally came from--Pakistan and Bangladesh--making cross-national marriage a much trickier affair.

New immigration laws introduced since September 11, 2001 have also made it more difficult for potential brides or grooms from countries like Pakistan to enter Britain for marriage.

"Anita." a Sunni Muslim and typical user of one of the sites in Britain, is a case in point. In her profile, she makes it clear she does not want a non-British Muslim partner.

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"Must be a U.K. citizen, preferably raised in the U.K.," she writes, adding: "Once compatibility is established, would prefer family involvement. My family know I am looking so would prefer someone who is looking with permission from their family."

There are no precise figures on Muslim marriages in Britain, but community leaders say trends have changed rapidly in recent years, particularly as far as strictly arranged marriages go, and point to education and the Internet as the main causes.

"It's just not as common anymore," said Ghayasuddin Siddiqui, the head of the Muslim Parliament of Britain.

"People coming from abroad find it difficult to adjust, and people living here find they have much more compatibility with Muslims who were also born or grew up here, so the demand for the old traditional arranged marriage just isn't there."

A side-effect of Muslim women's increased confidence that he's noticed, however, is that there now appear to be fewer "good Muslim male" marriage prospects to go around.

That's led to some women marrying outside their community, so a British Pakistani woman might marry a British Bangladeshi.

Story Copyright © 2007 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved.

I think, done respectfully, this could be a good way for reverts to meet a husband or wife..

dating is dating, whether its done in person, on the phone or on the net. the fact remains that if you have a pure intention for marriage there needs to be the male, female and the wali present so they can get to know each other. i know dozens of reverts who got married in halal ways and didnt have to resort to something like this.

I did not even realise dating was not allowed. My parents moved up north 3 years ago and I wanted to stay in the midlands so I moved in with my Girlfriend and we got a place in Coventry. Everything has been good for us, and I know she is the lady I will marry but I am sad to learn that this is something that is deemed to be wrong.

Hey. I just wanted to post this since it may be relevant to the discussion:

Why has Islam prohibited dating?

"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world shall not exist among Muslims -- where a man and a woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, getting to know each other in a very deep way.

A man and a woman are not allowed to be alone together, and any physical contact before marriage is forbidden. Hence, Dating is not permitted in Islam.

Allah has prohibited girl/boyfriend relationships in the Qur'an

"(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... ” - Qur'an Al-Ma'idah 5:5.

If a Muslim man has the desire and willingness to assume marital responsibilities, and he doesn’t have anyone in mind, he might ask his friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that might be suitable for him among their acquaintances and relatives, and then the couple can meet with their family members.

As a result, many marriages in the Muslim world were traditionally arranged marriages, though this is not a religious requirement. However, both couples can not be forced to accept an arranged marriage and if a man likes someone (with the intention of marriage) that he knows from work, neighborhood or acquaintances, etc… he shall propose to her.

Islam also encourages Muslims to marry persons for whom they have special feelings and are comfortable with. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“That would enhance/foster the bonding.”

However the prospective couple shall not meet in private, this might lead to extremely unwanted situations, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said :

“Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)..

At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. "

In conclusion, Islam lays its social structure on the basis of a permanent relationship between a man and a woman in the form of a family.


Consequently, to preserve this marital relationship, it forbids all forms of temporary relationships between a man and a woman. Pre-marital relationships in Islam are not considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman, nor is it constructive for the concept or the building the family or the Islamic society.

format_quote Originally Posted by Fi_Sabilillah

Hey. I just wanted to post this since it may be relevant to the discussion:

Why has Islam prohibited dating?

"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world shall not exist among Muslims -- where a man and a woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, getting to know each other in a very deep way.

A man and a woman are not allowed to be alone together, and any physical contact before marriage is forbidden. Hence, Dating is not permitted in Islam.

Allah has prohibited girl/boyfriend relationships in the Qur'an

"(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... ” - Qur'an Al-Ma'idah 5:5.

If a Muslim man has the desire and willingness to assume marital responsibilities, and he doesn’t have anyone in mind, he might ask his friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that might be suitable for him among their acquaintances and relatives, and then the couple can meet with their family members.

As a result, many marriages in the Muslim world were traditionally arranged marriages, though this is not a religious requirement. However, both couples can not be forced to accept an arranged marriage and if a man likes someone (with the intention of marriage) that he knows from work, neighborhood or acquaintances, etc… he shall propose to her.

Islam also encourages Muslims to marry persons for whom they have special feelings and are comfortable with. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“That would enhance/foster the bonding.”

However the prospective couple shall not meet in private, this might lead to extremely unwanted situations, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said :

“Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)..

At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. "

In conclusion, Islam lays its social structure on the basis of a permanent relationship between a man and a woman in the form of a family.


Consequently, to preserve this marital relationship, it forbids all forms of temporary relationships between a man and a woman. Pre-marital relationships in Islam are not considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman, nor is it constructive for the concept or the building the family or the Islamic society.

this is good tought me alot.

Am I right in thinking that many people who consider themselves Muslims just don't take that part of the Koran seriously? Sometimes I'm alone with muslim women at work - or at university acquitances who I assume were Muslim got together will have been 1-1 much of the time.

Obviously I don't see it as a vice - just normal behaviour, but I see what you mean. What I also think is regardless of the actual rights or wrongs of Koran (which of course a muslim would take seriously) applying that sort of rule will in most situations disproportionately impact upon women. E.g. men are already in the workplace, already in positions of power, and going to uni, and so on, and applying this rule really strictly would stop women accessing a whole bunch of opportunities.

Interesting when arranged marriages, or more formal "chaperoned" relationships work, though.

I don't agree with shaadi.com who's with me?

format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow

From all that I see and hear, they are haraam and should not be used by Muslims.

dating in any form is Haraam

Would appreciate if someone shad some light on the attributes of dating - What is dating at all???