I'm not sure what (advice?) I'm hoping to get from posting this, perhaps a listening ear. I am an educator of young students who have pretty severe emotional issues. Today was extremely difficult. They can be abusive (verbally and physically) and mostly I see through their behavior to the abuses that are inflicted upon them. I have taken some "Pearls of Wisdom" to my classroom and we now have, listed in plain sight on our 'Tools for Success' board Sit down as a strategy for handling anger. It helps me to think of Allah whenever they have an angry outburst, especially if I feel a spark spread out to me. Plus, I can remind them of this wonderful thought even as I myself practice it. I have read another 'pearl' that I will take to class, Steps for seeking knowledge. Because I am in a public school, I cannot speak overtly of religion, but mroe and more I see it is what these children are lacking; a belief that someone loves them and they have value.
It is so helpful to write here because today I felt so helpless in my class. Just like never going back. And it is not every teacher or person who can work daily with these children, accept their abuses with patience and hope that they will find a different way. It is so hard for them..... Sometimes it is so hard to bite my tongue :grumbling
But also I feel guilty a bit about wanting to move on, to be with other children, easy children, who will shine bright with love of learning.
Where does guilt come from anyway?
Wow sis I commend you on your patience and understanding of these children. I'm an educator myself and I know that even normal children can be hard to deal with sometimes.
I guess the feelings of guilt come from your caring and commitment to help these children. Even though they might hurt you sometimes you have affection for them and want to help them.
May Allah SWT help you out sis and give you more patience to aid these children, ameen
Thank you for your gracious reply. Being a teacher you must realize the complexities that come from dealing with administration. So while today was somewhat better with the students, I had an illumination. I plan to request a transfer to another position, realizing that without the support of my principal, the students are not truly going to get their needs met. It is a long, complicated story but I feel better knowing my decision to leave may ultimately provide more for these children. And I will go where Allah leads. So many things are coming together to create change in my life-----there is a plan more important than one I could make myself.
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