Probably a lame thread title but by that I mean intercultural marriages...
What do you think...Do you think the intolerance we see today....(When it comes to parents) will disappear over time?
Do you think that when it comes to us being parents, them prejudices will have vanished or do you think there is wisdom in sticking to your own culture/background etc and never experiencing the richness of another
Why do you think these prejudices exist...There is no nationalism or tribalism or racism in Islam...so why?? :enough!:
Have you personally married out of the culture and if yes did you face any difficulties/hardships/barriers?
Nice to read all the interesting posts........... Coincidentally did any of you watch the programme on BBC2 about the forced marraiges on Monday??
Back to the topic, this kind of mixed marraige thing has been going on for years, and more kids and younger generation are going for it. There is a problem culturally yes, but after you marry you adapt to that culture.
I married in Pakistan and adapted to that culture or lifestyle as you call it.
In my previous post (above) I mentioned my Turkish friend her now husband used to go clubbing, pubbing etc etc now he is more religious than his wife and adapted to the Turkish culture very well. He has just decorated their house and has put cushions on the floor.........Lovely!!!
I guess what i am trying to say is that everyone is different and you have to give yourself a chance as well as others........................
I don't think I have any 2 relative that are the same race, faith or nationality. When we have a family get together, it looks like a spill over from a UN meeting. In my family we have white, black, brown, yellow. There are Muslims, Christian, Jewish, atheist, agnostic, Mormon, JW, Budhist etc. and German, French, Jamaican, Puerto Rican, Italian, Arabic, etc.
I don't think I have any 2 relative that are the same race, faith or nationality. When we have a family get together, it looks like a spill over from a UN meeting. In my family we have white, black, brown, yellow. There are Muslims, Christian, Jewish, atheist, agnostic, Mormon, JW, Budhist etc. and German, French, Jamaican, Puerto Rican, Italian, Arabic, etc.
Omgoh:
Thats a Massive varity of races and cutures.....
Id love to have a family like that
Although I have got a rather large family...
Omgoh:
Thats a Massive varity of races and cutures.....
Id love to have a family like that
Although I have got a rather large family...
Actually it is fairly common in the States. You have to remember that most Americans are new to America and for most of us our ancestry here only goes back one or 2 generations. In the area I grew up in everybody was an immigrant from places like Lithuania, Poland, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, Italy, Russia, Iran. Iraq, Jordan, Germany etc. We mixed and the marriages reflected the mix.
kids dont go falling in love with other races - save the parents that trouble UNLESS you know 150% they wont mind
anyway aint suppose to be intermingling, but for the poor ones who it happens to before they know anything bout it or stop it (the young ones), you should know that your parents love you more then any man/girl AT THE MOMENT so make them your top priority AT THE MOMENT.
inter-cultural booby traps - heh Alhamdulillah i stayed far clear o that stuff
-
My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
-
MahshaAllah.................... Do you guys have big house???
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
I don't think I have any 2 relative that are the same race, faith or nationality. When we have a family get together, it looks like a spill over from a UN meeting. In my family we have white, black, brown, yellow. There are Muslims, Christian, Jewish, atheist, agnostic, Mormon, JW, Budhist etc. and German, French, Jamaican, Puerto Rican, Italian, Arabic, etc.
Actually it is fairly common in the States. You have to remember that most Americans are new to America and for most of us our ancestry here only goes back one or 2 generations. In the area I grew up in everybody was an immigrant from places like Lithuania, Poland, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, Italy, Russia, Iran. Iraq, Jordan, Germany etc. We mixed and the marriages reflected the mix.
yes they do ^ .....this is all hypothetical people
anyway,...im not getting married to a mangy, ill fight it with every last breath in my body.We have rights in Islam! and it is one of our fundemental rights to choose the people we will love and live with for life....buts its tough...the parents just dont get it...
You can always use emotional blackmail :P Since you have the right to refuse proposals until you like the person, you can simply say that you'll reject everyone that comes along until you get the man you want. It might just work.
format_quote Originally Posted by Amatul Wadud
I'll explain to Abu that this person, although not Baki could just be the best thing for me insha'Allah. And which father doesnt want his daughter to be happy?
Yeh I've read it, and yeh you're right. No harm in trying though huh ;p
Dooon't tell you're dad things along the lines of love or emotions..it won't work! Give him some rational explanation why a marriage to the different culture bro is good. And get your mom on your side, she's the key to changing your dad's heart.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
Dooon't tell you're dad things along the lines of love or emotions..it won't work! Give him some rational explanation why a marriage to the different culture bro is good. And get your mom on your side, she's the key to changing your dad's heart.
I'm not besharam enough to do that lol I wouldnt even if I wanted to. Yeh I guess, at mum. JazakAllah khayr akhee.
And emotional blackmail, yah turn the tables sahabiyaat
MahshaAllah.................... Do you guys have big house???
LOL, I grew up with just my Mother and my Sister. I did have 14 or 15 Aunts and Uncles and numerous first cousins. I believe I had over 30 married cousins when I left home in 1958.
We used to all get together at my grandparents farm at least once a month. The last family gathering I went to was 2 years ago and that was the first one since 1959 I had been to. The family has now grown to over 1000 living relatives. The 85 acres that remain of the old family farm looked like a rainbow with all of the different colored people and all related to me to some extent. I am the oldest surviving male.
I shoul point out my Granparent were mixed on both sides. On my Mother's side My grand mother was full blooded Lipkas and spoke Lipkas, Chinese and Lithuanian. My Grand father was Russian, Polish and Lipkas He spoke Lipkas, Russian, Chinese and Hebrew. On my Father's side My Grandmother was primarily Native American (one of the Algonquin tribes) and German with a touch of French She only spoke American English. Her Husband, My Grand father was predominantly Scott with some Russian, Lithuanian, Lipkas and Chinese. He spoke English, Russian German and Chinese. On my mother's side they were Roman Catholic, on my father's side they were Episcopalian. I was raised Roman Catholic. As a child the languages spoken most often at home were Russian, Chinese and Lithuanian
i sat there and watched it with my dad and thanked Allah with all my heart for letting it appear now lol
All my dad had to say about it was, **** them, why are they always picking on pakistan, why dont they go see whats happening in india! and besides this stuff doesnt really happen and if it does, so what.
yup, its exasperating ...................i know....i need a paracetomol..........
ofcourse i will say no ......im not allowed to say no btw.....but im going to do it anyway.....and then...all hell will be let loose..... i have such a wonderful life i want to skip and distribute flowers.
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
ofcourse i will say no ......im not allowed to say no btw.....but im going to do it anyway.....and then...all hell will be let loose..... i have such a wonderful life i want to skip and distribute flowers.
Honey, you're tellin me?!
But you know, saying NO isnt as bad as you think Lo0o0oL! Like seriously you know wat you gotta say? Just tell em that if they force you into summin you dont want then u aint guna be happy and then if the marriage dont work out na'uthubillah its guna be all their fault for ruining ur happiness.
Failing that, the sisters section is open for ya if u wanna talk *wub*
MahshaAllah........... and you are the oldest surviving male.............
Your reply left a very pretty picture in my mind especially the way you described it as being a rainbow of different coloured people........
May Allah Bless you with a long and healthy life so that you may relate some of the stories to your grandchildren. Ameen. Summ Ameen.
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
LOL, I grew up with just my Mother and my Sister. I did have 14 or 15 Aunts and Uncles and numerous first cousins. I believe I had over 30 married cousins when I left home in 1958.
We used to all get together at my grandparents farm at least once a month. The last family gathering I went to was 2 years ago and that was the first one since 1959 I had been to. The family has now grown to over 1000 living relatives. The 85 acres that remain of the old family farm looked like a rainbow with all of the different colored people and all related to me to some extent. I am the oldest surviving male.
I shoul point out my Granparent were mixed on both sides. On my Mother's side My grand mother was full blooded Lipkas and spoke Lipkas, Chinese and Lithuanian. My Grand father was Russian, Polish and Lipkas He spoke Lipkas, Russian, Chinese and Hebrew. On my Father's side My Grandmother was primarily Native American (one of the Algonquin tribes) and German with a touch of French She only spoke American English. Her Husband, My Grand father was predominantly Scott with some Russian, Lithuanian, Lipkas and Chinese. He spoke English, Russian German and Chinese. On my mother's side they were Roman Catholic, on my father's side they were Episcopalian. I was raised Roman Catholic. As a child the languages spoken most often at home were Russian, Chinese and Lithuanian
ofcourse i will say no ......im not allowed to say no btw.....but im going to do it anyway.....and then...all hell will be let loose..... i have such a wonderful life i want to skip and distribute flowers.
The Shariah gives you the right to say no - and saying no doesn't entail disobedience to parents. Just be wise in the way you say it.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
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yeh kind of off putting. lol.
Nice to read all the interesting posts........... Coincidentally did any of you watch the programme on BBC2 about the forced marraiges on Monday??
oh:
lol I wouldnt even if I wanted to. Yeh I guess, at mum. JazakAllah khayr akhee.
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