Few are those houses that are built upon love...

A narration that speaks volumes from ‘Umar b. al-Khattāb (radhy Allāhu ‘anhu) in al-Kharā’itī’s (d. 327h) book on character:

“From Abu ‘Azrah al-Du’ali who lived during the time of ‘Umar (radhy Allāhu ‘anhu) and used to marry women and then separate from them, until he became known by the people for doing so, and stories would be told about him. When he heard of this, he took ‘Abd Allah b. al-Arqam home with him, and while he was listening, asked his wife, “I implore you with God’s name: Do you hate me?”

“Don’t implore me like that,” she said.

He said, “Yet I do.”

“By God, yes.” she said.

Abu ‘Azrah said to ‘Abd Allah, “Did you hear that?” They then left and went to ‘Umar, saying to him, “People say I wrong women and then separate from them. Ask Abdullah what he heard from my wife.” He did so, and ‘Umar having heard what she had said, sent for his wife.

He said to her, “Are you the one that goes and tells her husband that she hates him?”

She said, “Oh Leader of the Faithful, I am the first to repent and turn back to God’s command. He implored me in God’s name, so what was I supposed to do? Lie? I felt wrong lying!”

“Then lie,” said ‘Umar. “If one of you doesn’t love someone else they shouldn’t say so. Few are those houses that are built upon love; rather people get along by depending upon Islam and Ihsān to one another.”