Is marriage obligatory for a man who has does not have any desire for women or children and also does not have the means to support them because of poverty ?
According to the below hadith :
"And he who cannot marry should fast because fasting breaks those unwanted feelings.” (Muslim – Book of Marriage)
So a man who cannot marry , has to fast all his life except for the 2 days of Eid ul Fitr and Eid ul Adha in order to enter paradise?
As ridiculous as it sounds, what about castration? I know some people who just do not want the responsibilities that come with marriage while but they also want to fulfill the sexual desires ... so is it better for them to get castrated so they dont fall into zina?
ok I am against it but I am talking from a reference of some brothers who just cannot deal with relationships, why should then they suffer within the confinements of sexual desires since zina (one night stands) are haram.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
ok I am against it but I am talking from a reference of some brothers who just cannot deal with relationships, why should then they suffer within the confinements of sexual desires since zina (one night stands) are haram.
ok I am against it but I am talking from a reference of some brothers who just cannot deal with relationships, why should then they suffer within the confinements of sexual desires since zina (one night stands) are haram.
just cannot deal with relationships is not an excuse my brother them dudes should be castrated whilst they're asleep !!!!!!
That was meant for Wa7abiScientist. I forgot to quote him
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
As ridiculous as it sounds, what about castration? I know some people who just do not want the responsibilities that come with marriage while but they also want to fulfill the sexual desires ... so is it better for them to get castrated so they dont fall into zina?
It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path. (Y. Ali translation)
Reread original post!
Last edited by sabr*; 02-04-2010 at 01:15 PM.
Reason: Changing Font! Referring to original post!
Lā ilāha illā-llāhu waḥdahu lā sharīka lahu lahu-l-mulku
Wa lahu-l-hamdu yuḥyi Wa yumītu Wa huwa ḥayyu-llā yamūtu abadan abada
ḏū-l-jalāli wa-l-ikrām, biyadihi-l-khayr
wa huwa ‘alā kulli Shay’in qadīr.
'Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, "O the Messenger of God! 'Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers. He came out with the slippers in his hands and went to 'Uthman's house. The Prophet found him praying. When 'Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, "O 'Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight[shari'ah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions. (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 10) Since 'Uthman was already married, the word "marriage" in this hadith can only be applied to sexual relations.
In another incident, three women came to the Prophet and complained that their husbands were abstaining from meat, perfume and intimate relations with their wives. The Prophet quickly came to the mosque, went on the pulpit and said, "What has happened to some of my companions that they do not eat meat, they do not use perfume and they do not go to their women?! Whereas I eat meat, use perfume and go to my wives. Therefore whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me. (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p.4)
When truth is hurled at falsehood , falsehood perishes. because falsehood by its nature is bound to perish [21:18- Holy quran]
'Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, "O the Messenger of God! 'Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers. He came out with the slippers in his hands and went to 'Uthman's house. The Prophet found him praying. When 'Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, "O 'Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight[shari'ah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions. (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p. 10) Since 'Uthman was already married, the word "marriage" in this hadith can only be applied to sexual relations.
In another incident, three women came to the Prophet and complained that their husbands were abstaining from meat, perfume and intimate relations with their wives. The Prophet quickly came to the mosque, went on the pulpit and said, "What has happened to some of my companions that they do not eat meat, they do not use perfume and they do not go to their women?! Whereas I eat meat, use perfume and go to my wives. Therefore whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me. (Wasa'il, Vol. 14, p.4)
As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):
What is the reasoning for your posting the above two hadith? What is the relevance to thread topic?
Muslims are permitted to marry four wifes but one is best if unable to deal fairly with all. So your attempt to reason away the application of the hadith is erroneous. May Allah lighten any burden.
Surah Nisa 4:3
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (Y. Ali translation)
Jazakillahu Khair
Last edited by sabr*; 02-04-2010 at 02:36 PM.
Reason: Font Color!
Lā ilāha illā-llāhu waḥdahu lā sharīka lahu lahu-l-mulku
Wa lahu-l-hamdu yuḥyi Wa yumītu Wa huwa ḥayyu-llā yamūtu abadan abada
ḏū-l-jalāli wa-l-ikrām, biyadihi-l-khayr
wa huwa ‘alā kulli Shay’in qadīr.
Even though your questions been answered no harm in throwing in my .02 cents
Man who cant marry because he is not interested in having a family and wants to dedicate his whole life to professional work , development and research . A fine example of such a muslim is the former Indian president Abdul kalam.
A wife would be a hindrance to this pursuit, how? If anything she could be a motivation, and a companion. Why work so hard to attain worldly success when you have no wife and kids to share it with? I believe the saying goes, "We work to live, not live to work."
2.A rich man who does not want to get married because he doesnt want to face all the problems arising out of marriage such as domestic quarrels with his wife and children's tantrums .He just doesnt want this tension( along with this workplace tension) in his life and has thus decided not to get married .
Being rich has nothing to do with domestic quarrels. If a person is a good husband and has a pious wife then being rich and having a family is manageable. If it wasn't manageable then majority of the MD's in the states would be single. I also noted you were just probing to get answers for some personal satisfaction versus genuinely being affected by the situation. Bani-Israel were a race that condemned itself due to the excessive and unnecessary question asking they did. Also you said Mahr was 100,000? No offence but that is total b.s unless you know some real gold diggers. I personally come from a background where 100,000 is more than the yearly salary of many people who we meet and greet with and I have yet to hear someone ask 100,000 for mahr. More like 5,000 sometimes 10,000. My close friend married recently and his family are literally millionaires in the United Kingdom; his mahr was 1,000 GBP.
. Also you said Mahr was 100,000? No offence but that is total b.s unless you know some real gold diggers. I personally come from a background where 100,000 is more than the yearly salary of many people who we meet and greet with and I have yet to hear someone ask 100,000 for mahr. More like 5,000 sometimes 10,000. My close friend married recently and his family are literally millionaires in the United Kingdom; his mahr was 1,000 GBP.
Read my post , i already told you that I stand corrected and i meant the salary and not the Mahr which was very demanding these times . Would you want your daughter to marry a Pauper who earns a very low salary .You dont seen to see the tougher side of life.
And Why did the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) said : "He who cannot afford marriage must fast, " that is for those who are poor and cannot afford a family .
Last edited by Predator; 02-04-2010 at 03:04 PM.
When truth is hurled at falsehood , falsehood perishes. because falsehood by its nature is bound to perish [21:18- Holy quran]
Well I would not base any marital decisions based off of financial backing. Starting off on the wrong foot can only end one way. You reap what you sow. I'm way too young to be talking about my own daughter rather I need to talk about myself first. I would most likely furnish my daughter with a sound education most likely in my concentration in Medicine ( I would recommend (OB/GYN- as there is a shortage of muslim females in this area) although she can choose whatever she likes. Money would definitely not be the issue. Obviously, I would not actively seek out a pauper but these days living with such high standards of living if one gets an education and seeks out the proper modes of earning there is no way you can get be too poor to be considered for marriage. There is just no way, unless one is lazy, handicapped, or both!
Well I would not base any marital decisions based off of financial backing. Starting off on the wrong foot can only end one way. You reap what you sow. I'm way too young to be talking about my own daughter rather I need to talk about myself first. I would most likely furnish my daughter with a sound education most likely in my concentration in Medicine ( I would recommend (OB/GYN- as there is a shortage of muslim females in this area) although she can choose whatever she likes. Money would definitely not be the issue. Obviously, I would not actively seek out a pauper but these days living with such high standards of living if one gets an education and seeks out the proper modes of earning there is no way you can get be too poor to be considered for marriage. There is just no way, unless one is lazy, handicapped, or both!
As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):
Akhi hafizmo:
People will continue to create excuses for following their Nafs (Desires) and not the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAWS). The evidence presented is clear that Muslim men don't stay single. The continued opinions not based upon Islam only furthers this threads downward spiral.
This thread has adequately been addressed.
Last edited by sabr*; 02-04-2010 at 03:17 PM.
Reason: Font color! Is there a feature to change default color from blue?
Lā ilāha illā-llāhu waḥdahu lā sharīka lahu lahu-l-mulku
Wa lahu-l-hamdu yuḥyi Wa yumītu Wa huwa ḥayyu-llā yamūtu abadan abada
ḏū-l-jalāli wa-l-ikrām, biyadihi-l-khayr
wa huwa ‘alā kulli Shay’in qadīr.
Read my post , i already told you that I stand corrected and i meant the salary and not the Mahr which was very demanding these times . Would you want your daughter to marry a Pauper who earns a very low salary .You dont seen to see the tougher side of life.
And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficent for His creatures' needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).
(Ph.D. & Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)
__________________________________________________ _______
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4:
Narrated 'Abdullah:
We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
__________________________________________________ _______
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 7:
Narrated Said bin Jubair:
Ibn 'Abbas asked me, "Are you married?" I replied, "No." He said, "Marry, for the best person of this (Muslim) nation (i.e., Muhammad) of all other Muslims, had the largest number of wives."
__________________________________________________ _______
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 11:
Narrated Sad bin Abi Waqqas:
Allah's Apostle forbade 'Uthman bin Maz'un to abstain from marrying (and other pleasures) and if he had allowed him, we would have gotten ourselves castrated.(1)
__________________________________________________ _______
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 130:
Narrated 'Abdullah:
We used to participate in the holy battles led by Allah's Apostle and we had nothing (no wives) with us. So we said, "Shall we get ourselves castrated?" He forbade us that and then allowed us to marry women with a temporary contract (2) and recited to us: -- 'O you who believe ! Make not unlawful the good things which Allah has made lawful for you, but commit no transgression.' (5.87)
__________________________________________________ _______
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 80:
Narrated Sahl bin Sad:
The Prophet said to a man, "Marry, even with (a Mahr equal to) an iron ring."
__________________________________________________ _______
Last edited by sabr*; 08-10-2010 at 07:21 PM.
Lā ilāha illā-llāhu waḥdahu lā sharīka lahu lahu-l-mulku
Wa lahu-l-hamdu yuḥyi Wa yumītu Wa huwa ḥayyu-llā yamūtu abadan abada
ḏū-l-jalāli wa-l-ikrām, biyadihi-l-khayr
wa huwa ‘alā kulli Shay’in qadīr.
Sadly This is not the year 600AD . The to-be father in laws of this age expect their to be son-in-laws to be earning tones of money . Mahr which was just 10000 about 20 years ago is now over 100000 with inflation and rising cost of loving .
There's no doubt the understanding of Mahr is gone down the drain for the majority; they treat it more like a business contract, and make arrangements for a divorce before the marriage even takes place.
format_quote Originally Posted by ★ηαѕιнα★
I thought the woman decides how much mahr she wants not the parents? I do agree with you on the fact the mahrs have rissen througout the years. But you know the thing: the wives of the Prophet PBuH had very small mahrs. Women knowadays ask far much more than that. Like they think of themselves as being better women then the wives of the Prophet PBuH. I think thats rediculus to be honest. They shouldnt be asking high mahrs out of respect and modestness for them. They were the best women that lived in that period.
Secondly the guy could get to a point he will hate his new bride. Just cause of the fact she made him work very hard for her mahr as a weddinggift. While its not necessary at all. What are you gonna do with a load of juwelry? You cant make it do tricks or make it dance or whatever. Then it would actually have some use: you coiuld use it to entertain yourself. Making a guy work hard while its not necessary cant be a good start for a wedding seriously..
Mahr is a gift from the man to the woman; the woman can chose to accept the gift and marry, or reject. The Quran states the Ujur (Mahr) as a gift, not a demanded cost set by the bride or her family.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Array
Staying Single in Islam is unIslamic?
''LIVE for the sake of ALLAH, LOVE for the sake of ALLAH, FIGHT for the sake of ALLAH, & DIE for the sake of ALLAH''
Re: Staying Single in Islam
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Quote
Bookmarks