love marriages-your thoughts

Ok, now i m going to answer your questions

format_quote Originally Posted by Najm

[*]What would your parents think about a "halal love marriage"(not to confuse with haram)? [*]Would they think about the person you chose, or simply reject? [*]How many of our parents would allow love-marriage over arranged-marriage?[/LIST]
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FiAmaaniAllah
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1.
My parents are christians so they wont think anything about a halal love marriage. The only thing they would think about is that they will be worried cause their daughter married a muslim man. Their thoughts about islam is that every moslem is a terrorist and hits his wife and things like that....

2.
What would they think about the person? i dont know. first they will be so worried cause hes an arabian but in the end they will accept cause its my life and i can choose who i wana marry.

3.
I really dont know. but many times i was in egypt and the people i got to know there seemed to be modern and let their daughters or sons choose who they want. but i think inside they would prefer if their daughter/son picks someone they choose for them. but i really dont know...i dont know that much moslems till now.

format_quote Originally Posted by Pk_#2

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue]Wa'alaykumSalaam, Hey huni,

My answer is below, I thought I'd post in the form of YS or maybe that was her and we jus' think alike..



Love marriage is when you have feelings for someone, it's not making those feelings known and showing that person that you are oh so crazily, madly in love with em, ahaha,

Mr.Akhi + Miss.Ukthi =Bad relationship...

Add Mr.Wali into the equation = Good relationship...

Providing that the following did not take place before Mr. Wali was notified:

Touching
Talking
Flirting
And anything else haraam! (like eating each other )


Hope that makes sense,

Well this post made me laugh
You mentioned " No talking" , so does that mean that asking critical question like the below is not allowed as well

What is your concept of marriage?
Have you been married before?
Are you married now?
What are you expectations of marriage?
What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
What is the role of religion in your life now?
Are you a spiritual person?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
What is the role of the husband?
What is the role of the wife?
Do you want to practice polygamy?
What is your relationship with your family?
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
How did you get to know them?
Why are they your friends?
What do you like most about them?
What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
What is the level of your relationship with them now?
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
What are the things that you do in your free time?
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
Do you like to write your feelings?
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
Do your friends use foul language?
Does your family use foul language?
How do you express anger?
How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
What do you do when you are angry?
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
How do you spend money?
How do you save money?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
Do you support the idea of a working wife?
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
Do you believe in abortion?
Do you have children now?
What is your relationship with your children now?
What is your relationship with their other parent?
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
What is the best method(s) of raising children?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
How were you raised?
How were you disciplined?
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

This ideology of not being allowed to question person with whom you are going to marry before marriage is pathetic one .
Its like buying a pet from a petshop. No wonder the divorce rates are hitting the roof these days.

Arranged marriages are good and more successful

they must be great and successful

that is love-marriages

I think arranged married is better but of course I have to know his personality and manneres well , this can happen by meeting him in the present of my father or brother.

I disagree with love marriages, partly because it, in the first place is haram, the both will meet, become friends, the so called 'innocent' talk will then turn into flirting and so forth.

second of all when you are 'in love' with someone you are too blind, because of the 'love' to see the persons bad personality, or the bad side of that person. it is only after you are married and you have lived with that person do you become more awear of their personality, where as by then it will be too late.

so all those whom are intending on getting married, let you wali, parents, find you a suitable match, if you agree then there you go.

Ma'Salam

My marriage is somewhere in between. I loved him, but I never even saw him before an hour before we got married... but we talked on phone, and msn though for a couple of months.

My first marriage was hmmm... I cant really say, it was arranged, but also love. We were set up, but did what we thought was "halal dating", like meeting at my parents place, talking, being together out in cafes or whatever. We divorced because of "religious differencies" after many years. I was too new muslim when we married.

what's love??........