If i found out for definite, or if he was shameless enough to openly admit it, id react differently depending on if we have children.If we did have children, i wouldnt leave him, i'd just tell him never to touch me again, ill live in the house, take care of him and his kids,but as far as me and him go, its over. I can never love him again.
also depends on if i loved him to begin with, if i did, it would kill me, and if i didnt it would be insulting, but would hurt less.
if i didnt have kids, ....i dunno....depends on exactly how his relationship is with this other woman.
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
If i found out for definite, or if he was shameless enough to openly admit it, id react differently depending on if we have children.If we did have children, i wouldnt leave him, i'd just tell him never to touch me again, ill live in the house, take care of him and his kids,but as far as me and him go, its over. I can never love him again.
also depends on if i loved him to begin with, if i did, it would kill me, and if i didnt it would be insulting, but would hurt less.
if i didnt have kids, ....i dunno....depends on exactly how his relationship is with this other woman.
Its a long distance relationship, basically my hubby moved to the uk after marrying me (am basically frm uk) and this woman seems to be one of his old colleagues so i guess its an old flame still burning..and we dnt hve any kids but i was juts planning to hve one and then i found out abt this..i dnt hve the freedom to divorce, theres no such thing as divorce in the society i come from....am going mad.!!:laugh:
Its a long distance relationship, basically my hubby moved to the uk after marrying me (am basically frm uk) and this woman seems to be one of his old colleagues so i guess its an old flame still burning..and we dnt hve any kids but i was juts planning to hve one and then i found out abt this..i dnt hve the freedom to divorce, theres no such thing as divorce in the society i come from....am going mad.!!:laugh:
this shud be in the advice section sis.
Does your husband want to marry this woman?
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
Erm...i would probly be very hurt, and would end the marriage (but would do deep thinking if there were children) reason being is i would mind him having a second wife, but for him to go behind my back and have an illigal relationship....no thats would hurt - probly would die before i get to kill him!
edit: if there were children i would ask him to repent sincearly, if he goes back to it i will ask him to repent again if he does it again i will ask him to leave us a peace until he has changed his ways and if he does not within 3 months then kullah (is that what they call it?)
I dont understand Backbiting - Talk to me in English
If it was me, i would forgive him because Allah (SWAT) said forgive people at leaste 70 times a day and if i forgive people even they hurt me so badly and Allah would forgive my sins inshaAllah.
^bub,would you be even kind enough to accept her as a co-wife?i doubt if any woman can do that willingly...
sis nisha,can you go on with him like that?you define your limit of tolerance,decide if u can bear with this affair or not,if its impossible for you to live with him then go for a divorce,theres no point in being his wife then.on the other hand if you think that this can fixed,then wait for sometime.but first have a word with him in private,i mean dont involve any relatives,tell him that you are going to get divorce if he doesnt change himself,and see his reaction..if he has some feelings left for you,may be he changes himself,otherwise,the sooner you come to know what you have to with the rest of your life the better!
may the best happen to you,
you are in my prayers inshallah
take care dear sis!
^bub,would you be even kind enough to accept her as a co-wife?:
in a lot of cases the woman could also be married
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
are you implying that the sisters don't and will not cheat?
umm not necessarily but men mostly do the cheating and since im a gal i thought it wud be nice to hve advice frm sister and i wanted advice frm bro's aswell so i cud see his point of view.
Go for divorce, if there's anything left in him for you, he won't let you go and being his wife you'll be able to know, how genuine his persuasion is in not letting you go.
and if he's ready for a divorce......... May Allah make it easy for you.
The entrance of a third person in a marital relationship, i think, is completely intolerable unless there's some forced necessity.
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (Alone) let believers put their trust.
Surah Ale Imran : 160
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) climbed up Uhud, accompanied by Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and ‘Uthmaan, and the mountain shook with them. He struck it with his foot and said: “Stand firm, O Uhud, for there is no one on you but a Prophet or a Siddeeq or two martyrs.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3483)
Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) does not inspire seeking forgiveness in a slave whom he wishes to punish.
i think you should gather as much evidence as you possibly can, then get the elders in your family as well as his together, and present your evidence
if he continues to deny it even with all the evidence, you have every right to seek a divorce
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i doubt if any woman can do that willingly...
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