I want to get married, as you see im in debt, question is what do i do,
Shall i stop looking for a wife, or shall i wait like 5 years , get out of debt , then start looking.
Im going to be like 33 then, i fear i will fall into fitnah,
Does islam say i have to be debt free to marry someone.
Relax bro! No reason why you can't marry and settle your debt at the same time inshaAllah. Lucky, you're in birmingham. Make an appointment to see an advisor at this place.
bro if that debt is a student loan then I think you only have to pay quite small installments over as long as it takes depending on your income and its interest free I think or inflation adjusted?
do you have a steady income? If you have... you can try to plan out to pay out the debts.
Eventhough you have debts but if you know how to budget your money using the steady incomes you have...you can still save alot at the end of the day.
For example if you make income of 2,000 per month and 30 percent of your money you discipline and save it. so the balance of the amount which is 1,400 is the actual money you can spend.
This is a free spreadsheet for you to budget your money. or you can google budget excel
So how much you want to save for marriage? plan it from now but be realistic.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Where will you get money for the mahr, wedding and keeping a wife if you are in so much debt?
Just for the record, Prophet (SAW) liked weddings that costed the least.
nightstar: I think you should take the plunge when you feel you are financially secure (i.e you are calculatedly sure that you can repay the debt) and can bear the costs of a family.
Last edited by zakirs; 08-22-2009 at 09:47 AM.
Reason: grammar
i will be will way into my thirties then, i dont know how long i can handle this lonliness, and control my desires, This is with 0 debts.
I actually want a sunnah wedding, and the thing worrying me is the mahr
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Brother mahr is not a standard amount. It is the amount according to your wealth and liveihood. Its is her right, instructed by Allah's commandment thus you cannot give nothing. Mahr can be gold to the size of a date stone ( not that i suggest this). It just shows that you should give what you can. If they other party want this and that and 50K. Then your search goes on!
Do not be frighten of cultural boundaries, they only restrict and make halal hard to do. Brother ......Sunnah wedding is to keep it simple!!
Just for the record, Prophet (SAW) liked weddings that costed the least.
Most women desire a nice wedding. There is nothing wrong with this. Not necessarily very costly, but they enjoy celebrating their marriage with all their family and friends.
And even if he didn't spend a penny on the wedding, what about the mahr, his wife's right and what about keeping her to a good standard?
To OP, when the sahaba could not afford marriage, they abstained until they could. Even if it is very hard, you still have will-power. Keep with your Quran, salah and most of all fasting until you can afford it:
Alqamah said,
While I was going along with `Abd Allah, he said, We were with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and he said:
He who is able to marry should marry, for it keeps the eye cast down and keeps a man chaste; and he who cannot, should take to fasting, for it will have a castrating effect upon him
I would say begin seeking for a women to marry while your in debt. By the time you get married it's probably going to be $10,000(pounds). You need to get married to avoid the fitnah from the Shaitayn and the temptations. Insha'Allah Allah will grant you a great job to cover it and get you an excellent wife. Ameen.
Akhi, be firm, be strong. Here is what Allah says:
“And marry those among you who are single and the pious of your slaves and maid-servants. If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace. Allah is of ample means, Aware.” [ Sûrah al-Nûr : 32]
“And let those who do not find the means to marry keep chaste until Allah enriches them out of His grace.” [ Sûrah al-Nûr : 33] “Whoever fears Allah, He will prepare for him a way out and provide for him from whence he least expects it. And whoever places his trust in Allah, Allah is sufficient for him.” [ Sûrah al-Talâq : 2-3]
“And whoever fears Allah, He grants him ease in his affairs.” [ Sûrah al-Talâq : 4]
“There are three who are entitled to Allah's assistance: the one fighting in Allah's cause, the slave seeking to earn his liberty, and a person getting married to preserve his chastity.” [ Sunan al-Tirmidhî ]
May we always keep faith in Allah, and provide us with ease in marriage. Ameen!
May be i should just leave it, its causing me too much distress
Forgive me for this question but have you been married before? (Dont answer if uncomfortable with question)
If i was in your situation i would get married, But Only if i could provide and cope. If you think you can cope then go for it. If not take a step back and evaluate yourself before making a decision
May be i should just leave it, its causing me too much distress
lol...y you want to be distress.
The truth is living in this new 'modern' life...debts are something that is unavoidable. Buying car...buying house and etc. student loans.
Unless you're super rich....probably you're but you just want us to think you're not
If you have already debts...then plan out how to pay it. Is no use to be distress. If you know you can finish paying all the debts for example 3 years...then is nothing to worry about.
I think 14,000 you can pay within 3 years time. For example if you pay the debts 500 per month...and for one year is already 6,000
and two years... become 12,000. and add another four months..then wala... all the debts are gone. But you've to discipline yourself, do not spend your money unnecessarily. Focus on paying debts and save your money for marriage.
Financial planning is all about being discipline, realistics and focus.
Akhee...try the few first months...and don't forget to write it down. Plan, plan plan... lol
Last edited by syilla; 08-25-2009 at 02:08 AM.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
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