regarding proposal

[noorseeker]

Just wanting a answer to the following situaution

I know a sister who is looking to get married, found out we are very compatible, share similar experiences in life.

But now i find out there is another guy coming to see her at the end of the month to come and see her with his family.

He isnt british born, and she would prefer british born, and i know she prob choose me over him.

She wants to see me before him, Islamically i thought you cant push in line if their is a another proposal going on.


I was going to see her, but told her i have to see her after she meets him.


I dont want her to say no to him, and then meet me and find out she dont like me. She taking big risk


So am i allowed to see her first?

JazakAllah khayran in advance

[noorseeker]

bumping cars

[Innocent Soul]

I think you have to wait ...

[Insaanah]

The Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam said : it is not allowed for a man to make a proposal against his brothers proposal until he marries the woman or gives her up." (saheeh muslim, book 8, chap 6, 3294). This hadeeth is greatly understood by many. They think that if a man proposes to a woman, she cannot be proposed to by any other man, nor has she the right to think about any other man until she gives her response to the first man. This is wrong. She can be proposed to by more than one man, and then choose whichever of them she prefers. What is not allowed is for a man to propose to a woman after she was proposed to by someone else and had accepted the other persons proposal.

If sisters are forced to choose one at a time, that means they have to decide about one man without knowing who else might be interested. She might choose one man thinking he's the only one interested when in fact someone better was waiting. Or she might reject the first one, and see others and then realise that the first one was best. So as long as she has not accepted anyone's proposal, more than one can propose at the same time and she has the right to see them all before making a decision.

Allah knows best.

[CosmicPathos]

without sounding judgmental, is being British born more important to this sister than one's commitment to his deen? Just a question to think about.

[KittenLover]

without sounding judgmental, is being British born more important to this sister than one's commitment to his deen? Just a question to think about.

Everyone has their own individual preference I guess, she may have her reasons for wanting someone british born as I do. So I can understand where she's coming from.

I would go see her bro, the other family hasn't even proposed yet have they?? they're just coming down to see her, he might not even like her, so what's the problem with you seeing her.

[CosmicPathos]

Everyone has their own individual preference I guess, she may have her reasons for wanting someone british born as I do. So I can understand where she's coming from.

I would go see her bro, the other family hasn't even proposed yet have they?? they're just coming down to see her, he might not even like her, so what's the problem with you seeing her.

Of course. But my question is asking whether personal/individual preferences can take over religious obligations? Out of these 2 proposals, the sister should marry the most religious one. If the second dude is more religious but not british born, I am not sure if she would be right to reject him and choose the OP. No offense to anyone. Just my individual thoughts.

[Asiyah3]

without sounding judgmental, is being British born more important to this sister than one's commitment to his deen? Just a question to think about.

Well, I'd also prefer to marry someone British born if I'd be satisfied with his religiouscommitment.

[CosmicPathos]

hmm. Wow. Anything unique with being "British born?" Nationalism in disguise of preferences? Just an honest question.

[noorseeker]

Wheter she likes me or not. The other guy is still coming down,

I am prepared to wait till she see,s the other guy and then await her choice.

Yeah he hasnt proposed , he just coming to see her.

I do agree deen should over ride things, but the british thing is more about compabiltiy.

[noorseeker]

hmm. Wow. Anything unique with being "British born?" Nationalism in disguise of preferences? Just an honest question.

I dont wanna marry someone from back home, because i cant have a laugh and joke or talk about deen with them in my mother tongue

[CosmicPathos]

Wheter she likes me or not. The other guy is still coming down,

I am prepared to wait till she see,s the other guy and then await her choice.

Yeah he hasnt proposed , he just coming to see her.

I do agree deen should over ride things, but the british thing is more about compabiltiy.

okay? So you are saying a Canadian born would not be compatible with a British born? or anyone else for that matter? I've seen Canadian non-Muslims happily married to British non-Muslims ... some British born Muslims have some sort of a special compatibility requirement of being born in their land?!? No offense again to "British born" Muslims.

[noorseeker]

so to make it simple


I can go down to see her, theres no sin on me

[CosmicPathos]

I dont wanna marry someone from back home, because i cant have a laugh and joke or talk about deen with them in my mother tongue

what if they are Canadian or US born? The worst does not always have to be from "back home."

[noorseeker]

what if they are Canadian or US born? The worst does not always have to be from "back home."

Brother my thread is not about comptabiltity, You are going off topic

[Asiyah3]

I apologize Nightstar, for also commenting off-topic

WahabiScientist, maybe you can start a new thread about his topic, how much nationality matters or sth

[Insaanah]

so to make it simple
I can go down to see her, theres no sin on me

Alhamdulillah. And seeing as you've got your answer, and this thread is going off topic, I think it should be closed.

[noorseeker]

Alhamdulillah. And seeing as you've got your answer, and this thread is going off topic, I think it should be closed.

no disrespect brother because your the only one thats given a hadith,
i dont wanna rely on one person, i hope inshallah someone else will post aswell

[Muslim Woman]

So am i allowed to see her first?

Offer Istekhara salat about her; if see positive , then InshaAllah go ahead.

[Insaanah]

no disrespect brother because your the only one thats given a hadith,
i dont wanna rely on one person, i hope inshallah someone else will post aswell

Sorry brother, I didn't realise.

While you wait for some more replies, I'll give you one more hadeeth if you don't mind. (Saheeh Muslim, book 9, 3527)

When Fatima Bint Qais told the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam that she finished her waiting period, the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam told her that Mu'aawiyah and Abu Jahm had proposed to her. After mentioning the weaknesses of both of them, he suggested she marry Usaamah instead.

In this example, the Prophet did not inform her of one man and then say that she must make up her mind (yes or no) concerning one man before any other man could speak to her.