Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women. (OP)
Has anbody noticed within Pakistani culture people kick up a huge fuss when an older women shows interest in a younger man but when the man's older than the women they say nothing.
Why's it acceptable cullturally for a man to marry a younger women but for a women to marry a younger man, people kick up a fuss and all the telephones start ringing and gossip flys like mad.
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
I'm not against marrying an older man but he should look mature, not fatherly.
HAHA Funny sis i find it disgraceful people are making there own rules of who to marry and who not to marry! i have heard ridiculious stories that a man who takes interest is a divorced woman is not good and is far from the deen.
because its in there culture thats how they think! more like they are far from the deen because prophet mohammad pbuh never said any such thing!
and they claim that anybody who marries older woman, they also have the same views. that makes me so angry how people can bring there own ignorant rules in to this beautiful religion
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
I dont mind, if the girl was younger or older than me. Natuarally i would prefer older because i feel that i am much more mature than my age, so she will end up being similar to me in maturity.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
I think its only unacceptable in pre-Islamic indian culture which still exists in certain 'sects' of Pakistani origin. e.g. Raja sect, who consider it a sin to marry outside the family, and would not be surprised if they started ti practice incest.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
hmm I am rajput benz don't know if that's the same thing, but we have what you basically mentioned above, everyone has a heart attack when someone marries out the family. Alhamdulilah my mum's not like that
Last edited by Salahudeen; 09-15-2009 at 02:23 PM.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
The way I see it, women mature faster then men, so if a man marries a younger woman shes mentally way ahead of him anyway. I dunno about the other way around tho.
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Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
^not necessarily there's a common mistake emotions doesnt equal to maturity
Women are not maturer than men they just have more ''emotions'' and some of us interpret certain feelings which are rendered by a part of their conciousness as making them more developed in the mental side of things holistically,......... which to me is pants
Im messing..........its clear we are beaten in the race to both physical and mental maturity at around 10 years of age...its harsh
Last edited by Cabdullahi; 09-16-2009 at 01:41 AM.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
As we know there is no prohibition in a younger man marrying and older women, but he must not marry an old woman as she will weaken him. The reason for this has been explained in the Medicine of the Prophet.
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Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
format_quote Originally Posted by Yanoorah
The way I see it, women mature faster then men, so if a man marries a younger woman shes mentally way ahead of him anyway. I dunno about the other way around tho.
is that really true in all cases?
because honestly when i see the sisters/cousins my age - i feel much more mature.
i think this is dependant on the individual?
although perhaps far more girls do mature faster.
im just saying - i've seen TONS of silly/immature girls who are my age/older then me.
Assalamu Alaikum
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Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
My advice is, when your older family members give you (or your companion) trouble with the age thing, tell him / her about our prophet's situation and I guarantee that the tables will turn abit in your direction ^_^
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
People still have a sexist mentality and women are just as bad as anyone else at discriminating against women. This happens A LOT more in countries like Pakistan and India but it's not only in that part of the world. Every time a woman goes outside her traditional role, people seem to put a silly label on her. If a woman around 10 years or more older than the man here, she is labeled as a cougar. People are far more accepting of the situation here than a lot of other parts of the world but sadly it does happen everywhere.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
format_quote Originally Posted by sur
Firstly, I am a Pakistani. Lived all my life(30years) in Pak-istan. I never herd or observed such phenomenon EXCLUSIVELY for women. At least not at a scale that u should generalize it as a part of "Pakistani Culture".
My cousin is married to a younger man. In my neighbour is a family where wife is 2years older than husband..... I never saw any "fuss". May be they showed such "fuss" on BBC or CNN or Fox news & u believed it.
Secondly, such a "fuss" has islamic justification behind. Prophet Muhammad(saw) recommended that one should marry a younger lady. So like a lover of prophet knocked all his teeth when he herd prophet lost a tooth in a battle......likewise ppl with pashion for prophet take his recommendations very seriously. So when they see marriage b/w older lady & younger man their inbuild database of prophet's recommendations kicks in & they object to such action.
You also don't seem to be adequately familier with Pak-istani culture to judge Pakistani culture, since you don't even know in Pakistani culture women rarely propose. Let alone proposing a younger man.....
the prophet mohammad saw said in the hadith marry a younger woman because of the fact she can give him many children but some pakistani take this hadith completely wrong and totally out of context and think that they should forbid there son from marrying an older woman even though she might be really fertile and only in her late twenties or thirties and divorced. they start to think and believe all sorts of things that to marry a virgin is better and to marry a divorced woman is bad they make dirty judgements on divorced women ive seen it with my own eyes but it just goes to show how little they know because the prophet mohammad saw said there is as much blessings in marrying a divorced woman then a virgin who has never been married. there mentality is they think they know it all but they don't. it might not be the mentality of some pakistani people as you say but it certainly is the mentality of the majority of pakistani people and its all ignorance lack of education about islam
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
I did not go through the whole thread , but as wel all know Khadijah Radi Allahu Anha was older than the Prophet sala lahu alihi wa sallam when they married.
Also i know a doctor personally he married a much older woman n even gave birth to like 4 kids .
How perfect You are O Allaah, and I praise You. I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except You. I seek Your forgiveness and turn to You in repentance
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
becuase people have nothing better to do then to find satisfaction in sticking their big nosey nose's in other peoples business until they practically ruin someones perfect and legitimate chance with another...unbelievable...
why do people insist on being such headaches that all it really boils down to ---> people and thier thriving on gossip...
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
reality is nothing more then a test
never expect things to go your way and always be willing to be patient through injustice after attempting to KINDLY AND MODERATELY stick up for yourself
leave your way for the akhirah
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
Its more of a Hindu culture and Pakistanis got this mentality from them. Another reasoning they use that is since women show aging on average earlier than men, they wanna get younger females. Another reason is that younger females produce better offsprings than lets say a 40 year old virgin ... I personally have nothing against those who marry older women (it depends how old) but I find marrying older women, if one wants to have progeny and longer sexual relations, a bit wrong. Again, personal choice.
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Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
There's a good reason why men like to have their females younger or a lot younger than themselves. The younger the female is, the more babies she will be able to have. Furthemore, many men are capable of breeding into their old age, while women are known to hit menapause as young as 18. So general rule is to get in and make hay while the sun shines! I once heard a gynacologist advise that the best time for women to have their first baby was during their second decade of life (between about 10 and 20). Anything later than that poses an increasing risk. It's the FIRST baby that's really crucial to have early. The second baby onwards doesn't matter if it's later.
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
format_quote Originally Posted by Karl
There's a good reason why men like to have their females younger or a lot younger than themselves. The younger the female is, the more babies she will be able to have. Furthemore, many men are capable of breeding into their old age, while women are known to hit menapause as young as 18. So general rule is to get in and make hay while the sun shines! I once heard a gynacologist advise that the best time for women to have their first baby was during their second decade of life (between about 10 and 20). Anything later than that poses an increasing risk. It's the FIRST baby that's really crucial to have early. The second baby onwards doesn't matter if it's later.
brother karl that depends on Allah swt how many kids a woman has. its nothing to do with the age of a woman. look what age the wife of the prophet khadija was when she gave birth? may Allah be pleased with her. she was 40 when she married the prophet (saw)
Re: Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
brother karl that depends on Allah swt how many kids a woman has. its nothing to do with the age of a woman. look what age the wife of the prophet khadija was when she gave birth? may Allah be pleased with her. she was 40 when she married the prophet (saw)
Does scientific knowledge have any value? Khadija (as) was a wife of Prophet. Unique laws apply to them.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
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the prophet mohammad saw said in the hadith marry a younger woman because of the fact she can give him many children but some pakistani take this hadith completely wrong and totally out of context and think that they should forbid there son from marrying an older woman even though she might be really fertile and only in her late twenties or thirties and divorced. they start to think and believe all sorts of things that to marry a virgin is better and to marry a divorced woman is bad they make dirty judgements on divorced women ive seen it with my own eyes but it just goes to show how little they know because the prophet mohammad saw said there is as much blessings in marrying a divorced woman then a virgin who has never been married. there mentality is they think they know it all but they don't. it might not be the mentality of some pakistani people as you say but it certainly is the mentality of the majority of pakistani people and its all ignorance lack of education about islam
that all it really boils down to ---> people and thier thriving on gossip...
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