what is wrong if...?

good question

Eh? What about the Prophet's love for his wives?

he pays all his attention and thoughts to her and that also affects his worship.

I don't see how it would?

format_quote Originally Posted by Rebel

Eh? What about the Prophet's love for his wives?



I don't see how it would?

like he would prefer being with her rather than go to masjid and pray, for instance.

With all due respect to Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah be pleased with him, if a man's heart is so absorbed in a woman that it affects his worship of Allah, then it is the man's heart that is diseased and needs remedying and it does not mean every woman will manipulate his weakness by her will. And anyway, both traits describe peole who are weak in their deen to begin with.

I would like to mention here, I have seen honestly, (I am not speaking generally for women or men, don't misunderstand). During my college times, long times ago my friend's wife(baptist christian people) was kind of bossy, order, prepare, and telling what to do. You know, a big single comfortable sofa, she sat all the times. Her husband came back from work, very tired and came to sit on the small cheap chair. Huh?

Her husband was cleaning the dishes, she came to help him a little bit and then returned back to sofa in chatting with us. Honestly again, I have seen in the West, thousands men who followed women's steps in both pre-martial relationships or marriages.

I am sure, some of Muslim couples are same thing which is unacceptable.

[PIE]Each man and each woman have a different role models (to take care in different ways, not men follow women's command, not women follow men's command) in which our Creator created us. Equal.[/PIE]

format_quote Originally Posted by limitless

With all due to respect to him and you sis, I may add my opinion to what you said. What if the wife asked the husband not to worship Allah swt so much..and spend more time with her? More money on her? And etc? That also happens in reality, what then? What if she threatens him that she will leave the children? What about then? This has happened in my family relative. Its an abusive relationship, and the wife is the problem. The husband is just basically trying to please both, Allah swt and the wife.

And to you bro. I highlighted the words 'so much' as that can suggest extremeness in worship to th extent that the rights of the wife and children and being neglected. Allah does not like us to be extreme even in worship brother. If this is what is happening, then the husband has to give rights where they are due.

If he is mindful of his duties of providing for the wife what she is entitled to islamically, then she is wrong on her part to demand he spends more money on her.

As for the time given to family, The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, used to divide his time so that those around him were given their due rights.

Daily Routine of Prophet Mohammed (excerpt)

On the authority of Ali (kaw), Tirmizi has recorded that the Prophet had carefully apportioned his time according to the demands on him for offering worship to Allah in and his personal matters. After the early morning prayers he would remain sitting in the mosque reciting praises of Allah till the sun rose and more people collected. He would then preach to them. After the sermons were over, he would talk genially with the people, enquire about their welfare and even exchange jokes with them. Taxes and revenues were also disrtibuted at this time (Sahih Muslim, Tirmizi, Sunan Tirmizi).

He would then offer chaste prayers and go home and get busy with household work. (Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi).

He would again return to the mosque for the mid-day and afternoon prayers, listen to the problems of the people and give solace and guidance to them. After the afternoon prayers, he would visit each of his wives and, after the evening prayers, his wives would collect at one place and he would have his dinner. (Sahih Muslim,).

If the husband is giving a reasonable amount of time to his wife and she is still complaining, then really is it a matter of ignorance and she be should helped to understand/learn the life of the Prophet (saw) and hopefully learn that even when the Prophet came to spending time with his wives, it was not by abandoning other duties and it wasn't excessive amounts of time (as it stated in the hadiths above).

However, if the wife is neglectful in her religious duties, and the husband is unable to correct her, then the answer from Ibn Tamiyah himself, is that divorce then becomes obligatory for the husband (and vice versa). (A Summary of Islamic Jurisprudence: Vol 2. Divorce: Page 428)

InshaAllah this is not the case here I hope?

Assalamu 3laykum,

Many times we read something from the ulemma and we take it out of context. Keep in mind Shaykh al Islaam ibn Taymiyya was never married. He was a zaahid, a mujtahid mutlaq and a mujaahid. May Allah bestow his mercy upon him.

As for his statement concerning this topic then we need to have husnul dhan and understand ibn Taymiyya's reasoning.

Shaykh al Islaam's statement can apply to anything, not just the love of a woman, it can also apply to the love of one's children, wealth, job, etc. All things which are halal but yet can take you away from the remembrance of Allah.

A classical example is the story of Aatikah bint Zayd al Adaweeyah radiallaahu anha


Full Name: ‘Aatikah bint Zayd ibn ‘Amr ibn Nufayl al Qurasheeyah al ‘Adaweeyah.

Mothers Name: Umm Kareez bint ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Ammaar ibn Maalik al Hadrameeyyah.

She is ‘Umar ibn al Khataab’s cousin and Zayd ibn Yazeed’s sister.

She was amongst those who migrated to Madeenah.



She was extremely beautiful. ‘Abdullaah ibn Abu Bakr as Sideeq married her, he loved her so much that she overwhelmed him, he was occupied with her to the point that he did not participate in any of the battles, so his father ordered him to divorce her saying: ‘She has occupied you from the battles so divorce her.

So ‘Abdullaah said:

“They say divorce her and bring in her place,
someone who would make my me long to dream.
Indeed my separation from Ahl al Bayt,
is due to excessively being with someone magnificent.





His father insisted until he divorced her. One day his father passed by him and heard him reciting:


‘I shall never forget you as long as the sun keeps rising,
and as long as the moonlight covers the confined pigeons.
My heart turns to you every day and every night,
with the hidden affairs that souls are attached to.
I have never seen the likes of me divorce the likes of her,
nor have I seen the likes of her divorced without fault.
She has beautiful manners, is of sound judgment and nobility,
she is beautiful, shy and truthful.’




So his father softened his stance and permitted him to take her back. He said to her:


‘Indeed I divorced you without a doubt,
I resorted to an affair that had to come to pass.
Likewise is Allaah’s decree, it comes and goes,
upon the people with unity and separation.
My heart continues to be perturbed due to our separation,
but is at ease for what Allaah has brought close.
It gives you the tidings that I find no displeasure in it,
and indeed all good traits have been gathered and perfected in you.
That indeed you have a face that Allaah has beautified,
and a face that is beautified by Allaah cannot bear any flaws.’




‘Abdullaah then participated in the battle of Taa-if with the Messenger of Allaah - صلى الله عليه وسلم – and was struck with a spear and later died in Madeenah, ‘Aatikah recited mourning him:


‘I suffered the loss of the best of people after their Messenger,
and Abu Bakr, he was not neglectful.
So I took a pledge upon myself, that my sorrow for him,
shall not detach itself from me, nor the dust from my skin.
For who has seen the likes of such a young man,
who was more energized, heated up and patient in battle.
when the spear head entered him he took it,
to death, until the spear became red.’




‘Umar ibn al Khataab then married her and had a Waleemah where he invited a group of people including ‘Alee ibn Abee Taalib who said:

‘O leader of the believers, let me speak to ‘Aatikah.’
‘Umar responded: ‘You may do so.’

So he stood beside the door and said to her: ‘Where is your saying:


‘So I took a pledge upon myself, that my sorrow for him,
shall not detach itself from me, nor the dust from my skin. ‘




So she started crying and ‘Umar said to him: ‘What caused you to do that O Abul Hasan, all women do this.’
He responded: ‘Allaah said:

O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allaah that you say that which you do not do. [As Saff: 2-3]


She always used to attend the prayers in congregation, and she made it a condition upon ‘Umar to let her do so. When ‘Umar was murdered she recited in mourning:


‘The abundant tears in my eyes and my crying,
are not sufficient for the Imaam.
Tell the people of distress and misery to die,
death has given him to drink from the cup of nations.’




Az Zubayr ibn ‘Awaam then married her with the same condition that she be allowed to pray in congregation
.

She used to go to the Masjid at night and he used to dislike that, she was a woman of excellent mannerisms, when she prepared herself to go the Masjid he would say:

‘By Allaah you are going out while I dislike that.’

So she would say: ‘You may disallow me and I will stay.’

He would respond: ‘How could I do that when you stipulated that I don’t prohibit you from praying in the Masjid.’

So she left one night to the prayer and he left after her, he overtook her and waited for her in a dark place on her way to the Masjid. When she passed by he touched her body, she returned home practicing Tasbeeh and stopped going out after that. He said to her: ‘How come you do not go to the Masjid anymore?’

She responded: ‘O Abu ‘Abdullaah, the people have become corrupt.’

He said: ‘It was me who did that.’

She responded: ‘Aren’t other people able to do what you have done?’

She never went out again until he was killed [in the battle of al Jamal], she also mourned him and recited a poem.

‘Alee ibn Abee Taalib then proposed to her. She sent to him saying: ‘I will refrain O cousin of the Messenger - صلى الله عليه و سلم – for fear that you will be killed.’

It was also said that ‘Amru ibn al ‘Aas and Muhammad ibn Abu Bakr also proposed to her but she refused.
Al Hasan ibn ‘Alee then married her and passed away while she was still alive, he was the last of her husbands and Allaah knows best.

Compiled from:

Ar Riyaad an Nadirah
Usud al Ghaabah and
Al Isaabah fee Tamyeez as Shahaabah.

So we need to understand in some cases, a man can become overwhelmed by his love for his wife whereas he should be overwhelmed by his love for Allah as our purpose here in this dunya is to worship Him.

And Allah knows best

This is where the term "she's got him under the fum" comes from I think lool