Have you ever lost someone you love? Was it willingly or unwillingly? How did you (and they) react to it? How did u get over it? And how long did that take?
Any extra details would be really good too plz, like how old u were etc.
Jazakum Allahu khayrun in advance. Look forward to your responses.
yeah sometimes i do feel sad about that, it seems everyone has changed, they are not the same as i knew them, or may be i have changed in some abnormal way. i console myself telling myself ok i hate everyone, i dont have to care about them. it works sometimes, sometimes it doesnt.
I feel that way too, but i think its to do with the fact that we've got this islamic lifestyle now. We've had to make ourselves strangers, because Islam seems strange to even non practising muslim families, let alone non muslims.
What keeps us strong is our trust in Allah, and our family [Allah's Messengers', and the believers]. I prefer to read about them when i miss a lifestyle with people who i was really close to.
format_quote Originally Posted by islamiclife
habibi, what happened?
I just want to understand how other people go through this really akhi.. how do different type of people handle this type of situation?
format_quote Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
Elhamdulillah, I haven't lost a loved one yet.
But my mother did loose her parents almost at the same time. My grandmother died first and I remember I was about 11 or something, it snowed a lot, it was a winter evening, we (me, my younger sisters and Mum) had walked around the park near our house. When my aunt called my Mum, she was very silent for a while, said something to her sister and then with utter silence, did she cry. My sisters played around the snow and didn't notice. I held her hand the whole time, not knowing what to say.
May Allah have mercy on her and my grandfather's soul.
I remember that day clearly because that was for the first time I saw my Mum cry and that I actually felt death was close. Makes you grow and realize life. Elhamdulillah.
When your sisters found out about the death, how did they react in comparison to u? Do u think it wouldn't be too much of a problem for u if u never had seen your mom cry? What did u feel like doing when u saw your mom cry?
Does that make u feel stronger now?
format_quote Originally Posted by Hope4thebest
My dad. May Allah have mercy on him. Since he died life doesn't seem to have the glow it used to have. He used to light up my life with his presence alone. I'll never see his like again. He always had sweet words to say to me and sound advice to give to me.
What was your dad like? What kind of advice did he give, and what did he do that made u so happy?
My father last year!
He was the one who motivated me for higher education and inspired me to live a simple and straight life.He never gave me long lecture still he taught the fairness and ugliness of life. He was a quite person but his deeds were loud and clear.
Rahimahullah.
What techniques did he use?
He was a busy bee, faught two wars and once POW four years. Even, the night he died he wan hunting pigs... And death hunted him.
Did he tell you anything about the life of a POW?
I was informed at 8am and I had to travel some 1600 KMs to reach to his Janaza at 1600hrs. Allah alone knows how I traveled thouse miles without tears. I stayed on his grave alone till late that night with blank mind.
What were u thinking when u were travelling there? And when u saw the grave, is that when u felt the reality of his death?
I did inform you of who I lost that meant much to me but forgot to answer your following question:I did inform you of who I lost but forgot to answer to the following question.:
how did you(and they) react to it? How long did it take u?
To be honest it took me serveral months. The day I found out I had lost my grandfather was horrible,but considering what followed...Whenever I woke up at night I started to cry and mourn him daily. Whenever I talked to my relatives I cried loud enough to stun my family. My grandfather was not close to me as my other relatives but I still loved him. Makes me think how will I react when someone closer dies. May Allaah grant us the patience for when this occurs. His death took me by surprise as it was a tragic incident as my Aunt narrated. He threw up blood and clogged up his brain that eventually led to his death.
Its a lot easier getting over someone who hasn't had much effect on your life. But of they leave a gap behind, a gap that is noticeable all throughout your life, then you can never get over it. And thats how i feel. I feel that gap all the time.
SubhaanAllah!! Maybe thats why i have certain characters which i wouldnt have had without this test.
When your sisters found out about the death, how did they react in comparison to u?
My Mum explained to them later on, that it's the way of life and they understood. They didn't react as emotionally as I did. I think also 'cause I remember them much better and have more clear my memories. They just knew she wasn't there anymore and well, that was it.
Do u think it wouldn't be too much of a problem for u if u never had seen your mom cry?
Yeah, I reacted quite differently from my sisters, one is a year younger, the other one four years younger than me, but still. It was those tears that made me remember she's actually someone's daugther, like I am hers. Grandmother wasn't only grandmother, but a mother too.
What did u feel like doing when u saw your mom cry?
I remember wanting to tell her I was sorry, but couldn't say 'cause I was going to cry too then and I wanted to be strong for Mum. So instead I held her hand tightly and didn't let go. I said to myself a prayer for my grandmother to be happy wherever she was.
Does that make u feel stronger now?
Yes, definitely. It didn't make me feel weak at that time, it just made me feel clueless and sad. Having seen her cry, made me realize adults cry too and they are also "children" to someone.
“If only I had checked myself”
—
Guy who wrecked himself
True leaders don't create followers...
.... They create new leaders.
Yeah.. Lost quite a few people close to me in the fast few years.. In 2006 my Great Grandmother who i was very close to.
Last September, on the 8th of Ramadan, my Grandfather passed away.
9 months later, in June, i lost my father..
Im 16 years old, still havent got over the fact that he's gone.. There's always be a little of me thats missing, and nothing will ever be the same anymore :\ i had such a close relationship with my dad but i guess Allah does whats best.
But to know that he's in a better place now Im not worried for him because Inshallah he's in Jannah and i know he was such an amazing Muslim - so God fearing and had such strong Imaan Mashallah. Please remember him in your dua's..
And to be honest i dont think i'll get over the the deaths of these people because they were so close to me, and obviously i will never forget my dads death..
Yeah.. Lost quite a few people close to me in the fast few years.. In 2006 my Great Grandmother who i was very close to.
Last September, on the 8th of Ramadan, my Grandfather passed away.
9 months later, in June, i lost my father..
Im 16 years old, still havent got over the fact that he's gone.. There's always be a little of me thats missing, and nothing will ever be the same anymore :\ i had such a close relationship with my dad but i guess Allah does whats best.
But to know that he's in a better place now Im not worried for him because Inshallah he's in Jannah and i know he was such an amazing Muslim - so God fearing and had such strong Imaan Mashallah. Please remember him in your dua's..
And to be honest i dont think i'll get over the the deaths of these people because they were so close to me, and obviously i will never forget my dads death..
i am sorry for your loss at such a young age habibi
I have never "literally" lost anyone close me alhumdulilah
but I did lose someone very close to my heart, even though, that one is still around.
I feel that it will be less suffering if that one did really pass away rather than losing such person in that way.
I keep telling myself this: "Alhumdulilah for everything, maybe Allah is testing me by that one" and I just keep my life move on because nothing really deserve us to be over-care about!
What was your dad like? What kind of advice did he give, and what did he do that made u so happy?
My Dad was perfect to me. He was kind, caring, funny and very understanding. He gave me religious advice as well as worldly advise. I was always his little girl (even though I'd reached adulthood long before his death).
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
I miss her more when im extremely sad, because then she could have helped me, and i miss her more when i am really happy, because then i would shre it with her........*sigh*
This is something I've always been petrified to even think about. I don't ever want to lose anyone.
I haven't yet, but in a way—I've lost my father. He's still alive, but he's just... gone and I haven't seen him in years, and probably won't ever again.
My great grandmother died when I was very little. I didn't like going to her house because she always gave sloppy kisses, but now I really appreciate how kind she was. She loved to cook, and we still use her recipes at home.
(I say I haven't really lost anyone because back then, it never affected me because I didn't understand it. When I learned to understand it, it had been so long. Sometimes I wish she were back and I could talk with her.)
My Grandmother .
She was the nicest GrandMother in the whole world.May Allah bless her and grant her Jannah! {AAMEEN}
I dont think much about her or I become teary..
And I have patience by knowing that Everyone has to taste death
My uncle, then my aunt, then my best friend, then my two grandmothers (four months of each other) then my uncle.. then my grandmother's sister who was also like a grandmother..
Of all of those the ones that hit me the hardest was my best friend and my maternal grandmother.. albeit, since my uncle went first, it was a really bad shock, he was young and just had another son born two weeks prior to his death...
when my best friend died, I just couldn't believe it.. and to be quite honest I am not sure I ever got over it.. I wrote in my diary alot, and I think I got rid of my bedding three or four times that year.. I remember I had this really bright knit duvet cover where I'd spent my nights weeping, it was the first to go.. I just couldn't stand the sight of it.. I was unwell for a long time.. then I discovered Islam.. it was really comforting.. I actually appreciated why the prophet SAW, used to look forward to belal making the call for prayer...It gives you a chance to weep in peace and talk to Allah swt and he does put peace in the heart.. al7mdllilah, you just have to take it one day at a time, and if you can't you take it one hour at a time, or a minute at a time, until you can live with it...
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
D,: It is, isn't it. I've lost someone very close to my heart just a few weeks ago and I'm still hurting. In a way, I have moved on, but I do get sad and upset when something remindes me of them. But then I tell myself that everything that happend and/or is about to happen was already written for me and I can't do anything to stop it but hope for the best that God will give me enough strength to cope.
This thread needs a little lifting up so I'm gonna write down some stuff that hopefully insha'Allah will lift your spirits.
Al-Hasan al-Basri (rahimullah) said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”
Al-Fadl ibn Sahl said: “There is a blessing in calamity that the wise man should not ignore, for it erases sins, gives one the opportunity to attain the reward for patience, dispels negligence, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, calls one to repent and encourages one to give charity.
Calamities and disasters are a test, and they are a sign of Allahs love for a person because they are like medicine: even though it is bitter, despite its bitterness you give it to the one whom you love – and for Allah is the highest description. In the saheeh hadeeth it says: "The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396) and Ibn Maajah (4031); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Muslim (918) narrated that Umm Salamah (r) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah () say: I heard the Messenger of Allaah () say: “There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and says what Allaah has enjoined – ‘Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allaah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better’ – but Allaah will compensate him with something better.”
She said: When Abu Salamah died, I said: Who among the Muslims is better than Abu Salamah, the first household to migrate to join the Messenger of Allaah ()? Then I said it, and Allaah compensated me with the Messenger of Allaah ().
And to end Allah says:
No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah:
So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boaster: [57:22-23]
I know it's easier telling someone to move on after losing their loved one then actually doing it, but there is a wisom behind it all that our limited understand may not be able to see. The heart may still grieve over something that was never meant to be but truly in the remembrance of Allah do the hearts find rest. So praise and thank Him for His decree so that He may compensate you with what is better.
Last edited by 'Abd-al Latif; 09-13-2009 at 10:05 PM.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
Its a lot easier getting over someone who hasn't had much effect on your life. But of they leave a gap behind, a gap that is noticeable all throughout your life, then you can never get over it. And thats how i feel. I feel that gap all the time.
SubhaanAllah!! Maybe thats why i have certain characters which i wouldnt have had without this test.
FiAmaaniAllah
Waalaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
I just came across this thread before going to bed. I'll probably be crying myself to sleep now!
Everyone experiences someone close dying or "the one" who turns out not to be. Death is cruel; people say it gets easier, but personally I find it harder and harder each time.
I read a few of the heartbroken posts on here and just wanted to give a general response. If these people who broke your hearts had cared enough then your hearts would be intact. Are they feeling that gap? or thinking about you? Getting heartbroken over people who obviously didn't care enough about you is a sure-fire way to mess yourself up. There will be better in store for you IA. Maybe this doesn't apply to everyone who commented but it may help a few remove the rose-coloured glasses.
The greatest loss in life is not death, its when relationships inside us die" ..
When all muslims are in heaven [Inshallah] we will be united with the ones we love, - our parents, brothers sisters, relatives and friends..
i think the worst type of loss is when yu fall out with some you unconditionaly loved, && its a big shame when they cant see that =[ .. when relationships arent the same anymore.. when the other person means the world yet they dont believe you =[ .. thats painful =[
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This is something I've always been petrified to even think about. I don't ever want to lose anyone.
عليكم
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) say: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (
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