To be happy with a woman is to understand her first (OP)
It has come to my attention that most of the men and boys here have a bit problems when comes to dealing women. Most of the problems that some of you shared are because of a woman :X
I’m not an expert on women but I hope what I share here will InshaAllah make you understand woman more and hopefully make your life happier.
These are mostly from my own observation and being a woman myself.
1. When a woman talks a lot and you had enough of it and you want to make her stop , so how do you do it?
First thing you have to remember that as a woman they ‘need’ to communicate to feel ‘connected’.
So don’t ignore her or watch tv or fall to sleep while she is talking. This will only make her talk more… lol :X
And don’t ask her to shut up after listening to her talk for a few seconds without really understand what she is saying. That can lead to a more serious scenario
The best is to let her talk for a few seconds, answer her a few times then after a few seconds just tell her nicely, darling I need to have my rest, to watch tv or etc.
2. When they complaint
Man always seems to think that when a woman complaints it is as if the world is going to end. “So what I’m going to do??? I can’t fix that!!!!”
The truth is they don’t want you to fix things. The woman wants a someone close to her to listen for all the bad things that has been happening. So be sympathetic and a good listener and InshaAllah she don’t feel she needs to complaint any longer.
3. They just being emotional.
So don’t blame her. Is just her body has more estrogen than you. Let her be emotional, is the way she has been created.
4. When she is being disobedient.
Just be strict and stick to your principle. This is to let her know that you’re the leader of the family and she has to respect and listen to you. But never ever be too harsh on her. If she is sulking let her be, for deep in heart she knows you’re right and InshaAllah she’ll try her best not to do the same thing again.
I think this is an important point since I’ve met a few couples who let his woman have her own way in so many things. At the end of the day the man can’t controlled her. Everytime they argue the woman surely will wins. So control the situation from the beginning and not regretting after that.
5. Shows your emotion.
For example show your affection towards the children, be sympathethic to the ones in need. Showing and sharing emotions will InshaAllah strengthen your relationship with your wife. The woman loves to know you’re the caring person and need a shoulder to cry on too.
6. They need support
Most of the woman they don’t really understand the competitiveness of this world. So be there for her and support her. Most of the time they felt they are struggling in this world alone. With your support the woman will feel more comfortable.
Finally and most importantly, being kind, understanding, show respect and be nice to each other are the keys to have a healthier relationship. InshaAllah with lots of dua and prayers Allah swt will unite you and you’re wife again in Jannah
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Nasiha21
Brother I do not agree with you. Woman need to feel needed cos they are considerate and need a situation where they can use this quality: like in taking care of a family. You could HELP your wife in fullfilling her tasks. Gets you loads of bonuspoints . It shows that your on her side and want the best for her and want to make her life less hard for her.
Maybe a tip for other brothers: HELP your wives. And dont say your to busy, thats just an excuse, coz the Prohpet sws had multiple roles as a leader and he still found time to help his wives out in the kitchen and stuff. Used too sow his own clothes and stuff. and more importantly: didnt complain about food being BAD. That makes a woman sad seriously when you tell her the food she made is bad. Alhamdoellilah for my dad, tried to make him dried rice once. Turned out to be some porridge like mass haha totally the opposite! But did he complain ...NO. He hated it but he ate like half (with long teeth and taking loads of time too get his mind to work with him). Sad actually now i think of it...i tortured my dad..
Salaam
Ooh by the way: i thought the sleeping on the couch thing was just a myth?? Not doing that to my husband. He probably owns the bed so who am i to say he has to sleep on the couch?? Seriously do women actually do that?? Thought it was just something from the movies and stuff..
And whats a whistleblower??
Sister, now you are talking. I had to get out of bed ( I was trying to sleep) to reply to this post of yours.
Ok, so a woman wants to feel that she is needed by a man. And for this, she wants man to share in her tasks? Prophet pbuh was a perfect man, we cannot be like him no matter how hard we try. But that is not the matter of debate here.
What about the fact that a man feels to be needed too? How would he feel needed if he comes home after a day long's work, after fulfilling his duty as Allah has called him a "maintainer and protector," only to help his wife feel needed? Is not it the responsibility of wife to offer some thanks to this man who has exposed himself to the outer savage world just to maintain and protect her? A recent study at McGill university confirmed that men have a weaker immune system and they are susceptible to more infections. How does it feel to know that a man, with his weaker immune system, exposes himself to the outer world, full of pathogens, animals and darwinian humans, to maintain and protect his wife, only to come home to again make his woman feel needed? Does not she feel valued by the fact that he is earning for her?
*end of rant*
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
Sister, now you are talking. I had to get out of bed ( I was trying to sleep) to reply to this post of yours.
Ok, so a woman wants to feel that she is needed by a man. And for this, she wants man to share in her tasks? Prophet pbuh was a perfect man, we cannot be like him no matter how hard we try. But that is not the matter of debate here.
What about the fact that a man feels to be needed too? How would he feel needed if he comes home after a day long's work, after fulfilling his duty as Allah has called him a "maintainer and protector," only to help his wife feel needed? Is not it the responsibility of wife to offer some thanks to this man who has exposed himself to the outer savage world just to maintain and protect her? A recent study at McGill university confirmed that men have a weaker immune system and they are susceptible to more infections. How does it feel to know that a man, with his weaker immune system, exposes himself to the outer world, full of pathogens, animals and darwinian humans, to maintain and protect his wife, only to come home to again make his woman feel needed? Does not she feel valued by the fact that he is earning for her?
*end of rant*
you mean that you guys are weaker than us???? Yesssssss!!! Poor thing, yeah, you must be protected by a strong wife. And we thought that men were "qawwamun". The end of a myth.......
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
Sister, now you are talking. I had to get out of bed ( I was trying to sleep) to reply to this post of yours.
Ok, so a woman wants to feel that she is needed by a man. And for this, she wants man to share in her tasks? Prophet pbuh was a perfect man, we cannot be like him no matter how hard we try. But that is not the matter of debate here.
What about the fact that a man feels to be needed too? How would he feel needed if he comes home after a day long's work, after fulfilling his duty as Allah has called him a "maintainer and protector," only to help his wife feel needed? Is not it the responsibility of wife to offer some thanks to this man who has exposed himself to the outer savage world just to maintain and protect her? A recent study at McGill university confirmed that men have a weaker immune system and they are susceptible to more infections. How does it feel to know that a man, with his weaker immune system, exposes himself to the outer world, full of pathogens, animals and darwinian humans, to maintain and protect his wife, only to come home to again make his woman feel needed? Does not she feel valued by the fact that he is earning for her?
*end of rant*
so what will you do...come back home and just sit on the sofa to stare at the TV until its sleep time whilst the queen feels lonely and unwanted?
that is something that will never happen in my household inshallah!!
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
so what will you do...come back home and just sit on the sofa to stare at the TV until its sleep time whilst the queen feels lonely and unwanted?
that is something that will never happen in my household inshallah!!
I dont watch TV first of all. I will come home and most probably sleep to re-energize myself for efficiently earning for the woman again ... its a loss-loss situation for men .....
Last edited by CosmicPathos; 01-16-2010 at 02:11 PM.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Nasiha21
Yeah I actually thought he was anti-woman at first...guess I was wrong. My apologies for that! The Scientist is the anti- woman one...just kiddin'!
Salaam
nobody is anti-women....you should see the brothers section and what they say they'll try to do to make their wives ecstatic ....from gifts to helping with the chores
anti-man and anti-woman is something the shaytan and his minions want to cause destruction on earth
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by bewildred
you mean that you guys are weaker than us???? Yesssssss!!! Poor thing, yeah, you must be protected by a strong wife. And we thought that men were "qawwamun". The end of a myth.......
whatever.
yes, men have a weaker immune system. It does not mean we are physically weaker than you. But whatever floats your boat. you can keep your female-centric views. But the "myth" of women being created from twisted rib of Adam still stands ... doesnt it?
Last edited by CosmicPathos; 01-16-2010 at 02:13 PM.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
I dont watch TV first of all. I will come home and most probably sleep to re-energize myself for efficiently earning for the woman again ... its a loss-loss situation for men .... whatever.
so you wont even spend half an hour of your time chatting with her?
its a loss-loss situation when you're alone and you have to go to work looking like a cave man because you don't have someone to tell you to wear this or to put on a moisturizer and when you come back home to stare at white walls until you fall a sleep...
you'll be schizophrenic
to provide is also to provide your ears to listen to her and what she's got to say
Last edited by Cabdullahi; 01-16-2010 at 02:32 PM.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
Sister, now you are talking. I had to get out of bed ( I was trying to sleep) to reply to this post of yours.
Ok, so a woman wants to feel that she is needed by a man. And for this, she wants man to share in her tasks? Prophet pbuh was a perfect man, we cannot be like him no matter how hard we try. But that is not the matter of debate here.
What about the fact that a man feels to be needed too? How would he feel needed if he comes home after a day long's work, after fulfilling his duty as Allah has called him a "maintainer and protector," only to help his wife feel needed? Is not it the responsibility of wife to offer some thanks to this man who has exposed himself to the outer savage world just to maintain and protect her? A recent study at McGill university confirmed that men have a weaker immune system and they are susceptible to more infections. How does it feel to know that a man, with his weaker immune system, exposes himself to the outer world, full of pathogens, animals and darwinian humans, to maintain and protect his wife, only to come home to again make his woman feel needed? Does not she feel valued by the fact that he is earning for her?
*end of rant*
First of all brother, your not sad at all! I actually am postphoning studying for a test I have on monday so...and besides its the middle of the day...what are you a vampire?? haha your funny
Secondly you brothers ARE needed. See the thing is brother, you guys earn the money thats true, but a woman wants to contribute as well. Personnaly i would feel quite useless and a burden just sitting at home doing nothing while the husband is doing the hard work. So how do we contribute? We make ourselves usefull around the house and take care of you guys. And I think when a husband gets home he at least deserves a hug for going to work and earning money and protecting the women against society. And after a whole day without seeing eachother whats more fun than to do the dishes TOGETHER and talk about what went on that day?? So in return we actually love you guys and i personnaly think a woman should be extra sweet to the guy. BUT the guy shouldnt forget the wife works too, not outside but inside the house. We cook you dinner, make sure your clothes get washed and dried in time for you to use, make sure the house is tidy so you dont feel like you came home into a warzone. Take care of the kids (raise and educate them) since we spend lots of time with them. And for the educated woman (yes they excist) she could help you doing small tasks like calling a plummer or cablecompany when needed. Pay bills over the internet and stuff. So actually we make your lives a bit easier for you. And I honestly think that without women you men would be nowhere to be honest, you just would live miserable lives day in day out. We actually brighten up your lives and you do the same for us. Soo what you got to say now? Haha
Salaam
And get off your lazy behind! Its no time too sleep now!! HAHA this just too funny
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Nasiha21
First of all brother, your not sad at all! I actually am postphoning studying for a test I have on monday so...and besides its the middle of the day...what are you a vampire?? haha your funny
Secondly you brothers ARE needed. See the thing is brother, you guys earn the money thats true, but a woman wants to contribute as well. Personnaly i would feel quite useless and a burden just sitting at home doing nothing while the husband is doing the hard work. So how do we contribute? We make ourselves usefull around the house and take care of you guys. And I think when a husband gets home he at least deserves a hug for going to work and earning money and protecting the women against society. And after a whole day without seeing eachother whats more fun than to do the dishes TOGETHER and talk about what went on that day?? So in return we actually love you guys and i personnaly think a woman should be extra sweet to the guy. BUT the guy shouldnt forget the wife works too, not outside but inside the house. We cook you dinner, make sure your clothes get washed and dried in time for you to use, make sure the house is tidy so you dont feel like you came home into a warzone. Take care of the kids (raise and educate them) since we spend lots of time with them. And for the educated woman (yes they excist) she could help you doing small tasks like calling a plummer or cablecompany when needed. Pay bills over the internet and stuff. So actually we make your lives a bit easier for you. And I honestly think that without women you men would be nowhere to be honest, you just would live miserable lives day in day out. We actually brighten up your lives and you do the same for us. Soo what you got to say now? Haha
Salaam
And get off your lazy behind! Its no time too sleep now!! HAHA this just too funny
just to add to that .. Most of men have one wonderful woman (besides wife ) whose importance is irreplacable .. MOM
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist
whatever.
yes, men have a weaker immune system. It does not mean we are physically weaker than you. But whatever floats your boat. you can keep your female-centric views. But the "myth" of women being created from twisted rib of Adam still stands ... doesnt it?
Amen to that bro! ....At least we agree on one thing (Adam, rib, woman)
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by zakirs
just to add to that .. Most of men have one wonderful woman (besides wife ) whose importance is irreplacable .. MOM
Yes sir! What ever language you speak Mother, Umma, Madre.....She is always there! The most improtant woman in our lives......until you get married Then the queen takes over the kingdom, takes down the plasma tv....And moves your collectables on the table to put flowers and doilies
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
People, here's the guy's side of the story. I start to laugh whenever I even think of this video. Every thing in it is so true and so funny. Just mute your speakers because this one has music in the background and read and have a great laugh.
P.S. - Ladies, everything said in this video is real. I think, all us men here will agree to that. (No Offense)
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If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (Alone) let believers put their trust.
Surah Ale Imran : 160
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) climbed up Uhud, accompanied by Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and ‘Uthmaan, and the mountain shook with them. He struck it with his foot and said: “Stand firm, O Uhud, for there is no one on you but a Prophet or a Siddeeq or two martyrs.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3483)
Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) does not inspire seeking forgiveness in a slave whom he wishes to punish.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
true...everyone need a shoulder to cry on . but i've give up :X i only cry to Allah swt...no one seems can comfort me enough...so i rather cry on the prayer map by myself huhu
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
First of all brother, you make the rules not us. We have to obey you remember? Very hard at times cos sometimes you guys stuff up yourselves sometimes But do we disobey you: NO.
1. We know you cant read minds. We actually take the time to talk to you but you just dont listen and call it 'nagging'.
2. Crying is no blackmail. US women are sensitive creatures and dont keep our emotions inside like you do. Letting it all out relieves us so we cry when we feel the need to. That means we also cry when one of you says something hurtfull.
3. We dont ask you what you want cos we want you to figuire it out yourselves. You are smart people (at least we like to think that) When you do figuire it out yourselves and show us your considerate our love for you men growes. So we actually doing you a favour her..
4. Yes and No arent good enough answers. We want more dept, we want an intellectual challenge. We sit all day at home with no one around to talk to. This way we keep our intellect on a steady level. Children AINT intellectual challenges so that doesnt count.
5. Most of the time we dont want you to solve it. We want you to be there for us in the process. To be a support for us.
6. Headaches? What headaches? Thats not a thing for muslimwomen.
7. Its not inadmissable when we want to point out an obviuous pattern!
8. Im not gonna react one this on, NOT APPROPRIATE!
9. We ask you whether we are fat to give you the chance to say: no your beautiful. That also makes our love for you grow. So in this case we also are doing you a favour. And say it like you mean it!
10.
11. Im sorry we actually thought of you as an equal. Us woman multitask, we sort of assumed you guys had that ability as well. We will just stick to one thing then and make sure we speak slowly using simple words. Come on you are much smarter then that arent ya??
Getting bored... Does another sis wanna finish up haha??
Haha LOL
Ooh by the way I do think nr. 3 and 9 have some truth in it seriously.
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