To be happy with a woman is to understand her first

**syilla** · 01-13-2010

It has come to my attention that most of the men and boys here have a bit problems when comes to dealing women. Most of the problems that some of you shared are because of a woman :X

I’m not an expert on women but I hope what I share here will InshaAllah make you understand woman more and hopefully make your life happier.

These are mostly from my own observation and being a woman myself.

1. When a woman talks a lot and you had enough of it and you want to make her stop , so how do you do it?

First thing you have to remember that as a woman they ‘need’ to communicate to feel ‘connected’.

So don’t ignore her or watch tv or fall to sleep while she is talking. This will only make her talk more… lol :X

And don’t ask her to shut up after listening to her talk for a few seconds without really understand what she is saying. That can lead to a more serious scenario

The best is to let her talk for a few seconds, answer her a few times then after a few seconds just tell her nicely, darling I need to have my rest, to watch tv or etc.

2. When they complaint
Man always seems to think that when a woman complaints it is as if the world is going to end. “So what I’m going to do??? I can’t fix that!!!!”

The truth is they don’t want you to fix things. The woman wants a someone close to her to listen for all the bad things that has been happening. So be sympathetic and a good listener and InshaAllah she don’t feel she needs to complaint any longer.

3. They just being emotional.

So don’t blame her. Is just her body has more estrogen than you. Let her be emotional, is the way she has been created.

4. When she is being disobedient.

Just be strict and stick to your principle. This is to let her know that you’re the leader of the family and she has to respect and listen to you. But never ever be too harsh on her. If she is sulking let her be, for deep in heart she knows you’re right and InshaAllah she’ll try her best not to do the same thing again.

I think this is an important point since I’ve met a few couples who let his woman have her own way in so many things. At the end of the day the man can’t controlled her. Everytime they argue the woman surely will wins. So control the situation from the beginning and not regretting after that.

5. Shows your emotion.

For example show your affection towards the children, be sympathethic to the ones in need. Showing and sharing emotions will InshaAllah strengthen your relationship with your wife. The woman loves to know you’re the caring person and need a shoulder to cry on too.

6. They need support

Most of the woman they don’t really understand the competitiveness of this world. So be there for her and support her. Most of the time they felt they are struggling in this world alone. With your support the woman will feel more comfortable.

Finally and most importantly, being kind, understanding, show respect and be nice to each other are the keys to have a healthier relationship. InshaAllah with lots of dua and prayers Allah swt will unite you and you’re wife again in Jannah

**CosmicPathos** · 01-16-2010

Originally Posted by Nasiha21

First of all brother, you make the rules not us. We have to obey you remember? Very hard at times cos sometimes you guys stuff up yourselves sometimes

But do we disobey you: NO.
1. We know you cant read minds. We actually take the time to talk to you but you just dont listen and call it 'nagging'.
2. Crying is no blackmail. US women are sensitive creatures and dont keep our emotions inside like you do. Letting it all out relieves us so we cry when we feel the need to. That means we also cry when one of you says something hurtfull.
3. We dont ask you what you want cos we want you to figuire it out yourselves. You are smart people (at least we like to think that) When you do figuire it out yourselves and show us your considerate our love for you men growes. So we actually doing you a favour her..
4. Yes and No arent good enough answers. We want more dept, we want an intellectual challenge. We sit all day at home with no one around to talk to. This way we keep our intellect on a steady level. Children AINT intellectual challenges so that doesnt count.
5. Most of the time we dont want you to solve it. We want you to be there for us in the process. To be a support for us.
6. Headaches? What headaches? Thats not a thing for muslimwomen.
7. Its not inadmissable when we want to point out an obviuous pattern!
8. Im not gonna react one this on, NOT APPROPRIATE!
9. We ask you whether we are fat to give you the chance to say: no your beautiful. That also makes our love for you grow. So in this case we also are doing you a favour. And say it like you mean it!
10.

11. Im sorry we actually thought of you as an equal. Us woman multitask, we sort of assumed you guys had that ability as well. We will just stick to one thing then and make sure we speak slowly using simple words. Come on you are much smarter then at arent ya??

Getting bored... Does another sis wanna finish up haha??
Haha

LOL
Ooh by the way I do think nr. 3 and 9 have some truth in it seriously.

Salaam

"9. We ask you whether we are fat to give you the chance to say: no your beautiful. That also makes our love for you grow. So in this case we also are doing you a favour. And say it like you mean it!"

If a woman is indeed fat, why does a man has to lie to her to say "no you are not fat" to get her favor .... the whole foundation of love is based on lies, how would it go forward ....

**★ηαѕιнα★** · 01-16-2010

Originally Posted by Italianguy

Yes sir! What ever language you speak Mother, Umma, Madre.....She is always there! The most improtant woman in our lives

......until you get married

Then the queen takes over the kingdom, takes down the plasma tv....And moves your collectables on the table to put flowers and doilies

Thats to make a home out of a house. Big difference there. And thats why you marry in the first place dont ya? To build a home, a family...
So its sort of a package deal haha

Look at the bright side happy ItalianDude: FREE interiordecorating!

**abu salaahudeen** · 01-16-2010

sounds like nasiha21 wanted to get a few things of her chest lool

you make some good points and alot of generalisation towards the men

**★ηαѕιнα★** · 01-16-2010

Originally Posted by abu salaahudeen

sounds like nasiha21 wanted to get a few things of her chest lool

you make some good points and alot of generalisation towards the men

Haha just wanted to have a laugh brother. And besides the vid contained some generalisation as well!

Not married yet so got nothing to get off my chest alhamdoellilah. Just dad being annoyingly OVERprotective sometimes.

Salaam

**abu salaahudeen** · 01-16-2010

lol haven't seen the vid

communication is the key its strange how many married couples live with each other for years but don't know how to communicate wit each other and pick on each others faults

strange

last i checked marriage is a bliss not a burden which reminds me of a proverb

"Marriage is like a fort, those on the outside wish to break in and those on the inside wish to break out."

**bewildred** · 01-16-2010

All this makes me want to make a couple of rak'as just to thank Allah for I met my beloved one. He's very religious and very understanding and helpful and loving and kind and generous and open-minded........Yup, he's got some drawbacks but when I read some of the bros' comments, his drawbacks are mere details. Uhhhh, I gotta run now tell him just how much I cherish him...

**cat eyes** · 01-16-2010

Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist

"9. We ask you whether we are fat to give you the chance to say: no your beautiful. That also makes our love for you grow. So in this case we also are doing you a favour. And say it like you mean it!"

If a woman is indeed fat, why does a man has to lie to her to say "no you are not fat" to get her favor .... the whole foundation of love is based on lies, how would it go forward ....

lol yeah id prefer a man to be honest with me rather then having to lie if they were to lie all the time before you know it you will be taken a size 16 in dress size and your man will still be to afraid to call you a big fatty

**bewildred** · 01-16-2010

Look, we're discussing a topic in here. It's an Islamic forum, right? What I find not rational is to make a comment just for the sake of hurting another person. If you have some joy of doing so, fair enough. It simply doesn't honor your good sense.

**★ηαѕιнα★** · 01-16-2010

Come on people. Can't we just get along??

**bewildred** · 01-16-2010

That's a good avice....Nasiha. Thanks.

**Ğħαrєєвαħ** · 01-16-2010

Originally Posted by Muraad

I believe the following image accurately depicts the differences between men and women. Please observe:

wwwislamicboardcom - To be happy with a woman is to understand her first

wwwislamicboardcom - To be happy with a woman is to understand her first

LOOOL that cracked me up lool.
By the way , not all women are like that

Sure some women like shopping ,but some dont take as long as others.
SOme have reasons and some dont i dunno. lol
but that was funny LOOL

**CosmicPathos** · 01-16-2010

Originally Posted by Muslim World 12

LOOOL that cracked me up lool.
By the way , not all women are like that

Sure some women like shopping ,but some dont take as long as others.
SOme have reasons and some dont i dunno. lol
but that was funny LOOL

sorry, most are like htat. including my mom.

**cat eyes** · 01-16-2010

i don't go shopping at all. not interested

use to love it when i was a teenager. its just a waste of money really when you could be spending it in the way of Allah but i guess some women are programmed differently

**Ğħαrєєвαħ** · 01-16-2010

I personally dont like shopping myself, its boring

,,well it can get boring..
although i like jewelry,clothes,and others girl/women stuff..but i dont see what the point is going to shopp to by it every day or week or whatever..
Its too not good at all

lol the only way i can put it..
Mostly when i go shopping ill b with my friends, they do all the shopping for themselves, i look around buy nothing, but they buy loads

BUT when it comes to foodd yeah i cant miss out

..
Lol i know im weird..we all gotta doo what we gorra do aye

so yea...
read some of the posts..and they were funny

..lol

**CosmicPathos** · 01-16-2010

true, my mom is also not a shopaholic and I like this quality of hers. Shes actually pretty simple. But I see the "woman" side of her when we go for our weekly groceries

but allhamdulillah. shes the foundation stone of my life. so yea.

**Ğħαrєєвαħ** · 01-17-2010

Alhamdulilah

..
I think its pointless to do pointless things lool
Like shop for a shirt or a piece of jewelry etc,that you allready have at home like millions of , and you still want more? isnt that a bit Materialistic or whatever. not to mention pointless its all NO USE literally no use atall..Craving too much for dunya stuff and you dont think once about Akhira! Well my personaly opinion/view .
You like the piece of jewelry or phone, then the stores get in a new flavour lol, and then you start wanting that..if you all fall for that then you seriously got Issues ..
InshaAllaah i dont mean to offend nobody..forgive me if i have

**Ğħαrєєвαħ** · 01-17-2010

Sorry i think my posts were off topic..forgive me InshaAllaah
I think i got carried away with the last posts i think
anyway IM A GEEK i tend to go off topic a few times so yea

**Ummu Sufyaan** · 01-17-2010

What about the fact that a man feels to be needed too? How would he feel needed if he comes home after a day long's work, after fulfilling his duty as Allah has called him a "maintainer and protector," only to help his wife feel needed? Is not it the responsibility of wife to offer some thanks to this man who has exposed himself to the outer savage world just to maintain and protect her? A recent study at McGill university confirmed that men have a weaker immune system and they are susceptible to more infections. How does it feel to know that a man, with his weaker immune system, exposes himself to the outer world, full of pathogens, animals and darwinian humans, to maintain and protect his wife, only to come home to again make his woman feel needed? Does not she feel valued by the fact that he is earning for her?

i think you mentioned the other extreme. neglect of each spouse by the other is not something good. in other words, i think its important that both the husband and wife show should reciprocate their appreciation/value to one another.
doesn't matter if you're in the kitchen all day, its not going to kill to show your appreciation. and likewise, it does matter if you're at work all day, show a bit of affection. both of you have equally suffered to keep each other pleased and one isn't better and more deserving of appreciation, etc than the other.

that's the problem with some people, they underestimate the others duty and that is something strange considering both husband and wife essentially work to help each other out and so neither should make the other feel "uncared for" both have equal and important roles to maintain and uphold a healthy marriage and both deserve to be cared, etc...

give and take, that's all it boils to really. giving too much whilst not receiving isnt good, and taking to much without giving isn't good either.

and about your weaker immune systems, maybe the wife would want o take are of you's if only you didnt milk it when you get sick

**Italianguy** · 01-17-2010

Originally Posted by Nasiha21

Thats to make a home out of a house. Big difference there. And thats why you marry in the first place dont ya? To build a home, a family...
So its sort of a package deal haha

Look at the bright side happy ItalianDude: FREE interiordecorating!

Actually my mother in law did all the decorating

She's awesome. She brought so much stuff back from India to decorate the house

I even ordered a doorway from an ancient Indian mansion, it's like 10 foot tall and 6 foot wide, as a decoration, it's like 600 years old(EXPENSIVE

) but it looks awesome! I even found one without the Hindu carvings!

Alll of our furniture is from India(my wife loves it). And yes I am very happy, I couldn't have found a better woman, I owe her my life. She is the most kind hearted and beautiful woman in the world

.

Not sure about everyone else here.....but I see our marriage as the best thing to happen to me, I am very greatfull to have her and we communicate Allllllooooottt! Communication is a key to a successfull marriage along with love and dedication. I was only kidding in my previous post's. I would do anything for her......anything! She is my queen, and I treat her as such. I am usually not one to show affection, nor talk about feelings.....but....I'm not sure how I would survive without her

God be with all the women..... mothers, wives, aunties, sisters, cousins, and so on. Without our women we men would be nothing.Ameen.

P.s. "Behind every great man, is a woman........rolling her eye's"

(Mahatma Gandhi) "Gandhiji"

**Ibn Abi Ahmed** · 01-17-2010

Originally Posted by Wa7abiScientist

"9. We ask you whether we are fat to give you the chance to say: no your beautiful. That also makes our love for you grow. So in this case we also are doing you a favour. And say it like you mean it!"

If a woman is indeed fat, why does a man has to lie to her to say "no you are not fat" to get her favor .... the whole foundation of love is based on lies, how would it go forward ....

This type of a 'white' lie is actually allowed in Islam to create love between the husband and wife.