It has come to my attention that most of the men and boys here have a bit problems when comes to dealing women. Most of the problems that some of you shared are because of a woman :X
I’m not an expert on women but I hope what I share here will InshaAllah make you understand woman more and hopefully make your life happier.
These are mostly from my own observation and being a woman myself.
1. When a woman talks a lot and you had enough of it and you want to make her stop , so how do you do it?
First thing you have to remember that as a woman they ‘need’ to communicate to feel ‘connected’.
So don’t ignore her or watch tv or fall to sleep while she is talking. This will only make her talk more… lol :X
And don’t ask her to shut up after listening to her talk for a few seconds without really understand what she is saying. That can lead to a more serious scenario
The best is to let her talk for a few seconds, answer her a few times then after a few seconds just tell her nicely, darling I need to have my rest, to watch tv or etc.
2. When they complaint
Man always seems to think that when a woman complaints it is as if the world is going to end. “So what I’m going to do??? I can’t fix that!!!!”
The truth is they don’t want you to fix things. The woman wants a someone close to her to listen for all the bad things that has been happening. So be sympathetic and a good listener and InshaAllah she don’t feel she needs to complaint any longer.
3. They just being emotional.
So don’t blame her. Is just her body has more estrogen than you. Let her be emotional, is the way she has been created.
4. When she is being disobedient.
Just be strict and stick to your principle. This is to let her know that you’re the leader of the family and she has to respect and listen to you. But never ever be too harsh on her. If she is sulking let her be, for deep in heart she knows you’re right and InshaAllah she’ll try her best not to do the same thing again.
I think this is an important point since I’ve met a few couples who let his woman have her own way in so many things. At the end of the day the man can’t controlled her. Everytime they argue the woman surely will wins. So control the situation from the beginning and not regretting after that.
5. Shows your emotion.
For example show your affection towards the children, be sympathethic to the ones in need. Showing and sharing emotions will InshaAllah strengthen your relationship with your wife. The woman loves to know you’re the caring person and need a shoulder to cry on too.
6. They need support
Most of the woman they don’t really understand the competitiveness of this world. So be there for her and support her. Most of the time they felt they are struggling in this world alone. With your support the woman will feel more comfortable.
Finally and most importantly, being kind, understanding, show respect and be nice to each other are the keys to have a healthier relationship. InshaAllah with lots of dua and prayers Allah swt will unite you and you’re wife again in Jannah
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
The best is to let her talk for a few seconds, answer her a few times then after a few seconds just tell her nicely, darling I need to have my rest, to watch tv or etc.
You didnt really give us something constructive to tackle this issue..
Once you start talking for a few seconds and then you listen for a few seconds and then you answer her questions for a few seconds you enter an infinite loop where you can't come out of and saying im watching TV now at this stage is heartbreaking for the queen
Last edited by Cabdullahi; 01-14-2010 at 08:21 AM.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
You didnt really give us something constructive to tackle this issue..
Once you start talking for a few seconds and then you listen for a few seconds and then you answer her questions for a few seconds you enter an infinite loop where you can't come out of and saying im watching TV now at this stage is heartbreaking for the queen
lol...
i did say a few seconds.... probably around 20 seconds? would that be enough for you or more than enough?
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
No lady is going to talk just 20 seconds and be happy..i think the right number is 20 hours not seconds
they'll not be happy but they have to let you go after you have entertain them...and have ask permission 'to leave' in the nicest way. After all they have the softest heart :X
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
Great post, syilla!
Men and women tend to have very different communication styles and tend to deal with situations differently. That in turn can lead to tensions and misunderstandings between men and women, especially spouses.
I can only trust that God had a very good reason for making us so different!!
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by glo
Great post, syilla!
Men and women tend to have very different communication styles and tend to deal with situations differently. That in turn can lead to tensions and misunderstandings between men and women, especially spouses.
I can only trust that God had a very good reason for making us so different!!
lol thanks glo... is nothing really
I'm just worried for the men here... they seem don't understand women at all.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
lol nice thread sis Syilla.
I agree though with Abdullahi 20 secs is probably how long she pauses for a breath hehe
i don't think for those who talk alot... pausing for breath is an option.
The key is to entertain them first... then that has justify the meaning that "i've listen to you" After that you have the rights to say "Now you've to listen to me since i've listened to you".
If not...you can go no.4 mode :X
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by glo
I wonder if men sometimes feel equally misunderstood my women ...
Perhaps one of the male forum members can start a thread on women understanding men.
We might all learn something!
Maybe i can do that
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
nice thread sis, I also crave to be understood at times so I can see where you're coming from. Sometimes you jus wanna talk and let it all out. othertimes you jus feel like crying on some 1s shoulder. And sometimes you jus wanna have a good moan about something and you want some 1 to listen.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
true...everyone need a shoulder to cry on . but i've give up :X i only cry to Allah swt...no one seems can comfort me enough...so i rather cry on the prayer map by myself huhu
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
LOL, we men know everything!
I am te bestes husband my wife could have, i always listen, and treat her like a queen....hold on she's asking me something........ok nevermind i think i hear words....who knows...i wasn't listening
Always pay attention to your wifes feelings.....I think i asked her about how she was feeling last year.ummm, ...yeah she should be good for awhile
Always listen to what she tells you to do.....I think i was supposed to take out the trash? ......That might have been those words i heard her mumbling?
Treat her like the queen she is....every friday i take her to Mc'donalds fro a double cheeseburger and a milkshake.....you know......high class stuff
Just messssssing around
Dudes listen to your wives! And if your not married, LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!! She s the most important woman in your life!
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
4. When she is being disobedient.
Just be strict and stick to your principle. This is to let her know that you’re the leader of the family and she has to respect and listen to you. But never ever be too harsh on her. If she is sulking let her be, for deep in heart she knows you’re right and InshaAllah she’ll try her best not to do the same thing again.
I think this is an important point since I’ve met a few couples who let his woman have her own way in so many things. At the end of the day the man can’t controlled her. Everytime they argue the woman surely will wins. So control the situation from the beginning and not regretting after that.
Is this really true? Ladies, please tell me? I thought if you don't agree to the woman's point of view then you can either forget about the food or you gotta sleep on the couch.
Do all women just wanna blabber without any concern for winning the argument?
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (Alone) let believers put their trust.
Surah Ale Imran : 160
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) climbed up Uhud, accompanied by Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and ‘Uthmaan, and the mountain shook with them. He struck it with his foot and said: “Stand firm, O Uhud, for there is no one on you but a Prophet or a Siddeeq or two martyrs.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3483)
Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) does not inspire seeking forgiveness in a slave whom he wishes to punish.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Ali_008
Is this really true? Ladies, please tell me? I thought if you don't agree to the woman's point of view then you can either forget about the food or you gotta sleep on the couch.
Do all women just wanna blabber without any concern for winning the argument?
Women will do anything to win an argument they'll use anything against you for example
Sarah: Ahmad, why don’t you ever clean up after yourself?
Ahmad: (exhausted after making dinner) I was busy making dinner for the kids. You never clean up after yourself either.
Sarah: (Becoming evil) What do you mean I never clean up after myself? I make dinner all the time, and the kitchen doesn’t look like this! All you did was make a little bit of pasta!
Ahmad: (getting upset) I honestly cleaned after myself
Sarah: (increasing in intensity) Bull crap!! . You never do anything else. I have to do everything around here. I don’t know what I got from marrying you you're just a bald head i mean look at you , you bloody look like ET.
Ahmad: (Very hurt) Ok, then maybe you shouldn’t have married me!
Its shocking but im afraid its the truth
Last edited by Cabdullahi; 01-15-2010 at 09:36 AM.
Someone said to the Prophet, "Pray to God against the idolaters and curse them." The Prophet replied, "I have been sent to show mercy and have not been sent to curse." (Muslim)
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Italianguy
LOL, we men know everything!
I am te bestes husband my wife could have, i always listen, and treat her like a queen....hold on she's asking me something........ok nevermind i think i hear words....who knows...i wasn't listening
Always pay attention to your wifes feelings.....I think i asked her about how she was feeling last year.ummm, ...yeah she should be good for awhile
Always listen to what she tells you to do.....I think i was supposed to take out the trash? ......That might have been those words i heard her mumbling?
Treat her like the queen she is....every friday i take her to Mc'donalds fro a double cheeseburger and a milkshake.....you know......high class stuff
Just messssssing around
Dudes listen to your wives! And if your not married, LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!! She s the most important woman in your life!
You are the best Husband ever....And thanks for the advice
Btw what has happen to your wife's friend ZAINAB??? No new story on them...??
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
lol nice thread sis Syilla.
(Very hurt) Ok, then maybe you shouldn’t have married me!
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks