The Marriage Thread

[Getoffmyback]

how much are you planning to spend on your wedding?


Edit by Rashad: Important Note! Excuse my intrusion upon your post, Getoffmyback. Just wanted to make a quick announcement lol. This thread is for anything related to marriage. I will personally strictly moderate this thread to ensure that nothing un-Halaal is being discussed. Keep jokes the minimum and restrict them to the gender appropriate sections. Depending on the results of this thread, we MAY open a MARRIAGE FORUM! *drumroll* ... or shall I say *duff-roll* ?

[SweetCherryPie]

I'm confused. What is "mahr"? Maybe it's called something else here (my country). Is it the amount of cash you pay to the bride? Apart from the things you exchange with one another?

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Yes, it's the dowry sis.

[Grofica]

(exchage rate to dollars is like 1.3 km to the dollar)

We spent 300 km for the Magistar
about 1500 km for food.
900 dollars on my dress
300 dollars on his suite and shoes
50 km on hair and makeup
and the cake was uhmmmm 60 km maybe 80 something like that...

that was it. :-)

but we had it in this nice restraunt over looking a lake... it is my favorite restraunt in the whole world... (literally)

it was all his friends and family because mine cant get passports... but it was beautiful it was everything i could have dreamed of and more. and best of all i have my muž (husband)

[SweetCherryPie]

Yes, it's the dowry sis.

Ah okay. Where I am from, the dowry depends on which state you are in currently (or if I'm not mistaken, which state you were born in).

Another Q - has the other thread on the amount spent on weddings been included in here or deleted? I was looking for that thread ....

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

It's been joined sis Both threads.

[SweetCherryPie]

It's been joined sis Both threads.

Okie dokie!

Now that's sorted ...

Is the culture the same everywhere else when it comes to engagement rings? And then the wedding rings?

Does the groom wear one as well?

For the brothers : how much would you spend on an engagement ring? Ideally, I'm sure any man would prefer to spend less but to make the soon-to-be bride happy or perhaps, the future in-laws as well ... would you spend more than you can afford?

For the sisters : what's your ideal engagement ring would be, in terms of price?

I asked because when I was younger, I thought the more expensive it is, the more the person loves you - take note that I was 9 or 10 then. Back then I was surrounded by people who could afford any amount for anything, even now as well.

My first brother's wife's engagement ring was ridiculously big (for her finger, anyway) and overly priced.

Out of curiosity, I went to a jewellery shop last few months to customise my engagement ring (for the fun of it) and over all, it turned out to be EUR5800. I was shocked and told myself, that is it ... hellz no!

I found out that there's cubic zirconia that is the 'second grade' of diamonds which costs a lot less and well, apparently, to produce it - they do not use child labour. So I was wondering, if there is any sister out there that wouldn't mind going for that instead of real diamond?

I, for one, wouldn't mind at all for I think at the end of the day .. all the material things you have in life, you can't bring them with you into the grave so why spend a lot on them?

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

lol sis

I don't even care about a ring lol, honestly speaking. Maybe it's just me.

[Beardo]

(exchage rate to dollars is like 1.3 km to the dollar)

We spent 300 km for the Magistar
about 1500 km for food.
900 dollars on my dress
300 dollars on his suite and shoes
50 km on hair and makeup
and the cake was uhmmmm 60 km maybe 80 something like that...

that was it. :-)

but we had it in this nice restraunt over looking a lake... it is my favorite restraunt in the whole world... (literally)

it was all his friends and family because mine cant get passports... but it was beautiful it was everything i could have dreamed of and more. and best of all i have my muž (husband)

I'd like a restaurant overlooking scenery as well. But those are way too expensive here. Or so I think. Plus, it's hard to find places which have separate areas so you could perform purdah, ya know? But wow, masha'Allah. That sounds quite affordable and nice.

Okie dokie!

Now that's sorted ...

Is the culture the same everywhere else when it comes to engagement rings? And then the wedding rings?

Does the groom wear one as well?

For the brothers : how much would you spend on an engagement ring? Ideally, I'm sure any man would prefer to spend less but to make the soon-to-be bride happy or perhaps, the future in-laws as well ... would you spend more than you can afford?

For the sisters : what's your ideal engagement ring would be, in terms of price?

I asked because when I was younger, I thought the more expensive it is, the more the person loves you - take note that I was 9 or 10 then. Back then I was surrounded by people who could afford any amount for anything, even now as well.

My first brother's wife's engagement ring was ridiculously big (for her finger, anyway) and overly priced.

Out of curiosity, I went to a jewellery shop last few months to customise my engagement ring (for the fun of it) and over all, it turned out to be EUR5800. I was shocked and told myself, that is it ... hellz no!

I found out that there's cubic zirconia that is the 'second grade' of diamonds which costs a lot less and well, apparently, to produce it - they do not use child labour. So I was wondering, if there is any sister out there that wouldn't mind going for that instead of real diamond?

I, for one, wouldn't mind at all for I think at the end of the day .. all the material things you have in life, you can't bring them with you into the grave so why spend a lot on them?

I would spend as much as it costs to purchase a golden diamond ring, I guess. lol, I haven't really put much thought into that, to be honest. Actually, I haven't put any thought at all!

I personally don't want a ring. Or maybe just a silver one, because I think it looks cool. No gems or anything on it though. Actually, no, I don't want one at all.

Islamically speaking, there should just be a Nikkah and Waleemah. The engagement stuff isn't necessary. :X


You guys, keep this thread as Islamic and beneficial as you may, because this thread will be my alibi for a Marriage forum. :X

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^Yea ur right, Islamically there's only a Nikah and Waleemah...hence why I don't care for one...

[Beardo]

I forgot to mention. You know in Indian culture, for example, there's like literally 5 occasions for a wedding. I'm not going to go into detail about each one, but I think it's ridiculous. Nikkah + Waleemah = DONE! All these parties are useless and it's simply overdoing the entire thing. It also ruins the pleasure from the bride and groom's side, especially with all the money being spent. I'm not trying to be a stingy person here lol, I'm just saying what is ethical. The money could be used better elsewhere. We use our money to feed the rich and then tell the poor we don't have any money in our wallets. It shouldn't work like that, ye know?

[SweetCherryPie]

lol sis

I don't even care about a ring lol, honestly speaking. Maybe it's just me.

Some women do not care, I don't care of the price now - to be honest, as long as it signifies that I am married - perhaps, it's the culture here. As I mentioned in my previous post - that amount for a ring is WAY TOO MUCH and ridiculous!

[Beardo]

Some women do not care, I don't care of the price now - to be honest, as long as it signifies that I am married - perhaps, it's the culture here. As I mentioned in my previous post - that amount for a ring is WAY TOO MUCH and ridiculous!

Well, at the same time, you don't want something you get when you put a quarter in the machine and then it pops out...

I guess it should be bought graciously, considering it's a once in a life time thing for most people and all.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Some women do not care, I don't care of the price now - to be honest, as long as it signifies that I am married - perhaps, it's the culture here. As I mentioned in my previous post - that amount for a ring is WAY TOO MUCH and ridiculous!

It's not just in one place now. It's kinda spread all over lol.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I forgot to mention. You know in Indian culture, for example, there's like literally 5 occasions for a wedding. I'm not going to go into detail about each one, but I think it's ridiculous. Nikkah + Waleemah = DONE! All these parties are useless and it's simply overdoing the entire thing. It also ruins the pleasure from the bride and groom's side, especially with all the money being spent. I'm not trying to be a stingy person here lol, I'm just saying what is ethical. The money could be used better elsewhere. We use our money to feed the rich and then tell the poor we don't have any money in our wallets. It shouldn't work like that, ye know?

Yea, not just Indian but Pakistani. Well technically it was one place. There's so many things in it from Hindus...and that bothers me. I saw my cousins wedding movie and u know how they do the money thing over the head...she did it with a CHICKEN...and i was like THen when they were goin to their room...she put oil around the corners of the wall n stuff :S

[SweetCherryPie]

I'd like a restaurant overlooking scenery as well. But those are way too expensive here. Or so I think. Plus, it's hard to find places which have separate areas so you could perform purdah, ya know? But wow, masha'Allah. That sounds quite affordable and nice.

I'm sorry to ask this but what is purdah?

I would spend as much as it costs to purchase a golden diamond ring, I guess. lol, I haven't really put much thought into that, to be honest. Actually, I haven't put any thought at all!

I personally don't want a ring. Or maybe just a silver one, because I think it looks cool. No gems or anything on it though. Actually, no, I don't want one at all.

Islamically speaking, there should just be a Nikkah and Waleemah. The engagement stuff isn't necessary. :X


You guys, keep this thread as Islamic and beneficial as you may, because this thread will be my alibi for a Marriage forum. :X

It's usually silver for men as men are not allowed to wear gold. As for me, I would opt for platinum with a nice, small cubic zirconia! Lol.

While I agree with you on that, if anything, it should be done Islamically but for some, to be part of a society that expects something from you and your family, you kinda have to go about doing it a certain way.

That said, I'm happy that my father has agreed to keep it small and personal if ever I get married!

[Asiyah3]

I wouldn't even care if I wouldn't have a Waleemah <_< Actually I don't want one at all. It's only one day and besides won't bring me any benefit not in this life nor the Afterlife. I'd rather spent the money on our honeymoon or on a bigger house.

How much would I want to be spent on a wedding ring? I don't know but I love jewelleries and specifically diamonds and more importantly it will be a very precious memory to me. I guess I'd spend as much as it's cost afterall we marry only once in our lives...

[★ηαѕιнα★]

The less the better. Small weddings are the blessed ones I once heard.

Salaam

[Insaanah]

I wouldn't even care if I wouldn't have a Waleemah <_< Actually I don't want one at all. It's only one day and besides won't bring me any benefit not in this life nor the Afterlife. I'd rather spent the money on our honeymoon or on a bigger house.

How much would I want to be spent on a wedding ring? I don't know but I love jewelleries and specifically diamonds and more importantly it will be a very precious memory to me. I guess I'd spend as much as it's cost afterall we marry only once in our lives...

The maojority of scholars consider the walimah as a very stressed upon sunnah. Some consider it obligatory. So therefore it will bring you much reward.

A ring, on the other hand, while it may be nice to have one, does not form part of the Islamic wedding customs, neither does a honeymoon.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

I wouldn't even care if I wouldn't have a Waleemah <_< Actually I don't want one at all. It's only one day and besides won't bring me any benefit not in this life nor the Afterlife. I'd rather spent the money on our honeymoon or on a bigger house.

Waleemah is from the Sunnah and there is blessing in it because the Prophet (saw) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, after he got married: “Give a wedding feast, even if it is with only one sheep.”

[Asiyah3]

I'd like to add one more question to this thread if nobody minds

How much will you spend on a house? Do you plan to rent it or buy one (how much would you spend on these)? What kind of a house do you require? How many rooms, the size etc. ? Please free to tell more...