Yes
No
Depends... (please specify)
I'm a male
Array
This poll is meant for females. This subject entered my mind while browsing a thread. Would you live under the same roof with your husband's family?
Would you agree to move in together with them?
Edit: Males are allowed to express their opinions of course.
Last edited by Asiyah3; 02-18-2010 at 01:55 PM.
I voted no... nothing against the in-laws, but I wouldn't feel comfortable living in someone else's home... mind you, I wouldn't want to live with my parents again either, no matter how much I love them. I just think that having privacy is healthier for our relationship.
in-terms of finance, it can be cheaper to live with the fam, but i would prefer to live in my own house.....
^^ can someone pls remove the spam? It is getting way out of hand this is an Islamic forum and the thread is about moving in with your husband's family not the pedants repository!
Edit......................
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 04-11-2010 at 11:10 AM.
he isn't stirring trouble, he is just plain annoying.. I can't sort through a thread when I am met with one bulk spam courtesy of a new gadfly whose attempts are proselytizing are close to laughable.format_quote Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
^ditto. what a mockery.
the last thing we need is a barrage of bigotry. i mean if your going to post something, at least take the tie out and post something more worth while, convincing and not so idoioc.
why's it always the Christians that like to stirr troublei doubt Jesus preached to annoy people.
three methods I have noticed with these freaks whether out on the road, overseas or on the web.
1- incessant harassment of others a la mode of this
2- brain washing like this
and when all else fails let's not forget good old fashioned bribery for a conversion like handing out food or medicine for proselytism .. they sicken me as they have undoubtedly sickened millions of others through the ages!
sob7an Allah
islamica liked this post
Assalamo alaykom,
I voted "depends" because I know both very good and really bad sides of living with the husband's parents. I am not married, but I have listened to sisters' stories.
If I would live with my future husband's parents I would need to be promised to have privacy time, own raise of the children and no parents from the husband who believe they know better than me in everything. Of course they know a lot, but they need to understand that if I'm the wife and mother they need to ask me before letting the children eat or do anything, and not say to me that I'm so young and don't know what to do. Specially when I might be from a different culture we might have different views on things, and both might be good but to do what I feel is good might make me a better mother. So I need this promise, and my husband's support, to be able to do it. But to live with his parents otherwise wouldn't be a problem, I would help them and try to be as social as possible.
NO way!
Every couple need to have their own place.
They need to have their own life.
To the OP: this is a cultural thing and there is nothing wrong with it as long as all the Islamic guidelines are met regarding non-mahrams and hijab. You'll find that majority of Pakistani sisters will move in with their in-laws after marriage as this is expected and normal. This is also common in the Bengali, Indian and Saudi culture and possibly many more cultures.
Brothers and sisters who don't have this tradition as part of their custom won't give you an answer that's tailored to your needs so the results of this poll aren't very accurate. My advice is take a look at your own circumstances and try to negotiate things with your in-laws if you find something you dislike – that's if moving in is a part of your custom to begin with.
For Pakistani women living in Pakistan that's not an option Lol they get married n go to they're husbands family's house n I guess then they secretly pray that they get a separate house later on
My parents were born and raised in India. My Dad came from a wealthy family, Mom came from a poor family. When they married, my Mom agreed to live with my Dad's family and after-wards once my Dad got a good job, he and my Mom moved out after 5 years living with in-laws.
A lot of newlywed couples do this; live with husbands family until he can support himself and his wife, then move out together. I say this is good as well because this allows the husband to pay off debts/wedding party fees etc.
Sorry I bumped this thread after years, didn't know voting will get a thread bumped.
niqabi29 liked this post
As I've ever written in another thread. In Pakistan, after getting married, the wife join the husband family. But in Indonesia, after getting married, the husband join the wife family.
So it's common in Indonesia if a husband live in the in-law house or in house that provided by in-law. My sister in-law live in my parent in-law (they have passed away) house with her husband. One of my brother in-law live with his mother in-law. My another brother in-law live in a house that provided by his wife parent. My youngest sister live in a house that given by my parent. She live there with her husband.
Frankly, I'm closer to my mother family than my father family. And after getting married I more often gathered with my wife family than my origin family. Typical of Indonesian wives is they want always close with their origin family after getting married and draw the husband close to them. Typical of Indonesian husbands is, they follow what their wives want.
I'm still close with my wife family. I don't feel any change on how they treat me now.
Personally, I would not move in with my husbands family,
I enjoy my home, and privacy entirely too much.
But this also depends on culture, thankfully thats not a custom in our culture. So its nothing I had to worry about..alhamdulilah.
But Indonesian culture is different. Commonly in Indonesia, if newlywed couples haven't able to have their own shelter, they live in the wife parent house. There is exception, of course, like the husband family house is bigger or nearer to the place where the husband work.format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
It's because in Indonesian culture the women are always belong to ttheir families while the adult men are free men who come to the women families.
It's normal if the wife parent (if rich) give anything to the her like house, furniture, car, etc, that can be used for live with the husband. Even is normal if a man work in his parent in-law company.
So Iceee, if you see an Indonesian husband who look rich, do not too fast to make conclusion that he is rich. Probably what he have actually are his wife's properties.
By the way, I remember my friend older brother. He was a handsome guy but from ordinary family. One day a girl from rich family interested to him, but he rejected it. And his brother complain to me "Ohh, how stupid my brother is!"
If it was a large house and me and my husband could have the basement to ourselves sure.
I voted it depends, I can handel a year or two but after that we should be out of that house and into our own home.
But if his mother or father was sick then yes I would live there for however long.
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Quote
Bookmarks