I found this on another forum and thought it would be nice to share
"Why do we shout in anger?" a wali asked. "Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?"
His disciples thought for a while. One of them said: "Because we lose our calm; we shout for that."
"But why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?" asked the wali. "Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry?"
The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the wali. Finally, he explained: "Wehn two people are angry at each other, their hearts become distanced. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other throught that great distance."
Then they wali asked: "What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other, they talk softly. Why? because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small."
The wali continued: "When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper, and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally, they need not even whisper, they only need to look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.
"The moral of the story," said the saint, "is that when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!"
Jazakallah Khayr for sharing, brother. It was very insightful.
May Allah SWT give us the Tawfeeq to control our tempers unless it be for His sake.
Ameen.
This reminds me of something I once heard a woman say about when her children were in trouble. She said that instead of yelling at them she learned to lower her voice to a whisper and speak slowly. She found it was much more effective.
This is a wonderful story, a perfect metaphor for this. I greatly dislike when people elevate their voice unnecessarily. I fear that the way I go about communicating that may only increase the distance as well though.
He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}] www.QuranicAudio.com www.Quran.com
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