Okay I duno how to put this buh am jus gonna be straightforward.. As boys/men, would you go for someone that wears a ninja head to toe or someone who don't cover herself.. Now I know, I mean it's obvious that gurlz who don't cover themselves are more attractive buh on a serious note, who would you as a guy go for and why? Btw, this has NOTHING to do with Islam.. Am jus sayin generally.. I know some guys get put off if they see a gurl in a ninja cuz they feel she's too "Islamic" or too "extreme" or wahever.. Yet deep down that gurl could be an outgoing person.. Similarly, a gurl who don't cover herself properly, a guy could turn her down & yet deep down she could have the most amazing of characters.. So yeaaa, I was wonderin wah are your views on this? :><:
" Its sometimes better people don't get to know you..
Cuz the more they know you, the less they understand & accept you..
Alone is better, what say " - SRK
beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. when Allah chooses he beautifies people to whomsoever he wills with his wisdom, ergo not keeping a beard/not wearing hjab is nothing but a lack of trust in Allah swt.
i say a lone muslim who abandones societal pressure is nothing short of a legend
Each has their own criteria but someone not keeping a sunnah beard (which is actually near compulsory) due to thinking it is not necessary/not from the deen/not worth anything means this person is far from being perfect. I wouldn't recommend such a person for marriage to a God conscious and Islamically focused muslimah.
In my humble opinion (which may not be worth much)
this is a ludicrous statement. Do you have any idea how many guys have beards because their parents forced them? Or because they just wanted to avoid people making assumptions about their iman like you? Or just follow the crowd without any knowledge of its significance? All are for the wrong reasons.
Both these types are extremely prevalent and as common as the hijabi who wears it just because her parents wear it. There is absolutely no essential correlation between the level of iman one has and the way they choose to style the hair on their face. What gives you the right to assume otherwise? Go to any Muslim country and see the amount of beardies drinking alcohol, at the club, or even guess what? There are also those foolish terrorists in the mountains with HUGE beards
It is exactly these types of judgmental comments that make people shy away from Muslim gatherings because they don't fit physical standards. Do you seriously believe a beard is some sort of litmus test for iman?!
I never automatically assume a hijabi is more pious than a non hijabi because I don't know the intentions or context behind their actions. In a day and age where even saying Allah or praying shows courage, it is shocking to me how you could just ruin a guy's image infront a potential wife with your assumptions.
Last edited by AntiKarateKid; 08-18-2010 at 11:31 PM.
I personally like when I see Muslim girls/women wear niqab. Some say its unnecessary and over-doing. But niqab lessens the fitnah in the society. And yes I would marry someone who wears niqab definitely.
About the beard thing, it's haraam to take a razor and have a clean shave according to the 4 madhabs if I'm not mistaken, so a person who does this is sinful, he sins every morning by shaving his face. It's considered mutilation and comes under changing the natural creation of Allah (swt).
There is a difference of opinion over the length, but there is no difference of opinion that taking a razor and shaving the beard is haraam.
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
Both these types are extremely prevalent and as common as the hijabi who wears it just because her parents wear it. There is absolutely no essential correlation between the level of iman one has and the way they choose to style the hair on their face. What gives you the right to assume otherwise? Go to any Muslim country and see the amount of beardies drinking alcohol, at the club, or even guess what? Being those foolish terrorists in the mountains.
It wasn't apparent that the brother was making assumptions. Having a beard does show that a Muslim brother is acting upon a very important Sunnah. We can only look at what is apparent, not at what's in the hearts. So, if a Muslim man has a full beard, it would be safe to say he's Deen-conscious.
What does the beard have to do with people sinning?? Now, I may be wrong, but I always assumed that the beard isn't responsible for sins. It's the person.
Having a beard doesn't make these acceptable in any way, nor can we say that bearded people are always the baddies.
It's like one of the guys in our village back home who was coming down a hill on his bike, which had no brakes. There were a couple of ladies at the bottom and although he called out a warning, he ended up crashing into them. One of them said: 'Have you no shame? Look at the size of your beard and you do this?!'
To which he replied: 'I'm sorry, it didn't come supplied with brakes'.
It's foolish to claim that since bearded people commit sins, it's not a very good thing after all. And no, I'm not saying you claimed that. It's an excuse I've heard many times, which is frankly, sickening.
Last edited by ~Raindrop~; 08-18-2010 at 11:38 PM.
Not perfect, for one thing. There is a clearly deficiency in such a person iman wise. This doesn't mean I'm being holier than thou or judging such a person but when people don't desire to follow sunnah, then that's a definite negative attribute.
Think about it this way: Allah has made man khalif of the household. It is his duty to guide toward practising Islam fully and protecting the wife and kids from falling into deeni (and wordly) harm. The akhira is infintely more important than the hereafter. If a muslimah is concerned for her hereafter, she should marry someone that has the same kind of concern. Somebody that doesn't desire to follow sunnah clearly does not meet this requirement. In all likelihood, he is going to be lax and under his khilafat things are not going to be completely Islamically run. He won't have the desire to stamp out fitnah.
Prince charming is all fairy tale. Don't buy the romantic 'he's such a kind sweetheart' stuff. Go for a guy that is likely to better you in deen and protect you, even if it means he is being 'harsh' to you.
For example, a guy that protects his wife (by forbidding her) from going out to meet her friends that regular partake in backbiting and gossiping over afternoon tea is 100% better than a guy who couldn't care less and gives his wife supposed 'freedom' (let's face it, a lot of sisters would think this guy is the answer to their dreams).
Firmness is a necessity in deen and it shouldn't be seen as backward/controlling behaviour.
He could be the best and kindest person and give you the world but if he can't help you get closer to Allah and his religion (even if it means by him being controlling and forcing out some bad habits you have), then what use is he?
I've seen plenty of clean shaven bros have wonderful Islamic marriages and plenty of bearded ones turn out to be basket cases and terrible for the wife.
Yes people expect a person with a beard or hijaab on to be sinless, and if you do a sin they say "you have a beard and you done that" as if growing a beard makes you sinless this frustrates me when people have this attitude, "OH I WANNA BE A PERFECT MUSLIM BEFORE I GROW A BEARD OR WEAR HIJAAB"
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
Not perfect, for one thing. There is a clearly deficiency in such a person iman wise. This doesn't mean I'm being holier than thou or judging such a person but when people don't desire to follow sunnah, then that's a definite negative attribute.
Think about it this way: Allah has made man khalif of the household. It is his duty to guide toward practising Islam fully and protecting the wife and kids from falling into deeni (and wordly) harm. The akhira is infintely more important than the hereafter. If a muslimah is concerned for her hereafter, she should marry someone that has the same kind of concern. Somebody that doesn't desire to follow sunnah clearly does not meet this requirement. In all likelihood, he is going to be lax and under his khilafat things are not going to be completely Islamically run. He won't have the desire to stamp out fitnah.
Prince charming is all fairy tale. Don't buy the romantic 'he's such a kind sweetheart' stuff. Go for a guy that is likely to better you in deen and protect you, even if it means he is being 'harsh' to you.
For example, a guy that protects his wife (by forbidding her) from going out to meet her friends that regular partake in backbiting and gossiping over afternoon tea is 100% better than a guy who couldn't care less and gives his wife supposed 'freedom' (let's face it, a lot of sisters would think this guy is the answer to their dreams).
Firmness is a necessity in deen and it shouldn't be seen as backward/controlling behaviour.
He could be the best and kindest person and give you the world but if he can't help you get closer to Allah and his religion (even if it means by him being controlling and forcing out some bad habits you have), then what use is he?
Muslim men are meant to be romantic. The prophet peace be upon him was..
He wasn’t “harsh” in his teaching or the way he treated his wives. I rather marry a breadless brother than a dictator. Anyway who would want their wives to secretly resent them? There is a huge difference between treating the wife kindly and advising her kindly from treating like she is your daughter. The husband meant to be the wife companion, not her father. Romance is absolutely essential..
I may have misunderstood you, but you write a daughter and father relationship instead husband and wife?
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one.." [Bukhaari].
In my humble opinion (which may not be worth much)
this is a ludicrous statement. Do you have any idea how many guys have beards because their parents forced them? Or because they just wanted to avoid people making assumptions about their iman like you? Or just follow the crowd without any knowledge of its significance? All are for the wrong reasons.
Both these types are extremely prevalent and as common as the hijabi who wears it just because her parents wear it. There is absolutely no essential correlation between the level of iman one has and the way they choose to style the hair on their face. What gives you the right to assume otherwise? Go to any Muslim country and see the amount of beardies drinking alcohol, at the club, or even guess what? There are also those foolish terrorists in the mountains with HUGE beards
It is exactly these types of judgmental comments that make people shy away from Muslim gatherings because they don't fit physical standards. Do you seriously believe a beard is some sort of litmus test for iman?!
I never automatically assume a hijabi is more pious than a non hijabi because I don't know the intentions or context behind their actions. In a day and age where even saying Allah or praying shows courage, it is shocking to me how you could just ruin a guy's image infront a potential wife with your assumptions.
Good thing you said your opinion is not worth much here, brother. You're right. Why? You've misunderstood and misrepresented what I meant. Go back and read it again. Did I say having beard is the be all and end all of what constitutes iman?
Did I suggest the sister look for someone that lacks ilm, taqwa and understanding of the deen but go for the one that has beard alone? No. That would be absurd.
I said, if a guy doesn't have beard specifically for the following reasons: "due to thinking it is not necessary/not from the deen/not worth anything".
We all know beard is an essential part of Islam as is donning hijab. There's a difference if someone doesn't wear these for perfectly acceptable reasons: e.g. fear of attack/discrimination or maybe even prohibited by parents if they're young, even if they don't wear it at the present time and plan to later on, I wouldn't mind that, as long as they don't go on to say it is worthless and pointless. That IS wrong and such a person is contemptable. No question about it.
Last edited by Alpha Dude; 08-18-2010 at 11:52 PM.
Muslim men are meant to be romantic. The prophet peace be upon him was..
He wasn’t “harsh” in his teaching or the way he treated his wives. I rather marry a breadless brother than a dictator. Anyway who would want their wives to secretly resent them? There is a huge difference between treating the wife kindly and advising her kindly from treating like she is your daughter. The husband meant to be the wife companion, not her father. Romance is absolutely essential..
I may have misunderstood you, but you write a daughter and father relationship instead husband and wife?
Romance in and of itself is good. I support that. Love and mercy is a necessity, without doubt.
Being harsh does not necessarily mean being without wisdom. You don't need to go guns blazing and beat the crap out of your wife to get her to understand something. There are ways of talking to people. Even in firmness, you can display mercy. They might not like what you say at first and find it a bitter pill to swallow but in the end they are likely to come round if you show them the incorrectness in their approach. Once they understand where they have erred, they will even appreciate you.
However, I disagree with the airy fairy westernised media/trashy novel advertised notion of 'romance' and 'love' that most teen girls (and guys) grow up on.
Last edited by Alpha Dude; 08-18-2010 at 11:50 PM.
Romance in and of itself is good. I support that. Love and mercy is a necessity, without doubt.
Being harsh does not necessarily mean being without wisdom. You don't need to go guns blazing and beat the crap out of your wife to get her to understand something. There are ways of talking to people. Even in firmness, you can display mercy. They might not like what you say at first and find it a bitter pill to swallow but in the end they are likely to come round if you show them the incorrectness in their approach. Once they understand where they have erred, they will even appreciate you.
However, I disagree with the airy fairy westernised media/trashy novel advertised notion of 'romance' and 'love' that most teen girls (and guys) grow up on.
So basically the husband should advise the wife which I agree.
What do you mean by media novel notion of romance?
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one.." [Bukhaari].
So basically the husband should advise the wife which I agree.
It is his Allah imposed duty to do so.
The typical romeo/prince charming stereotype. The guy that is sooo 'kind/caring' because he bends to his wife's every desire out of supposed love and lets her walk over him.
I've seen plenty of clean shaven bros have wonderful Islamic marriages and plenty of bearded ones turn out to be basket cases and terrible for the wife.
thats not true and if it is it will be rare.. btw it don't give you a right to judge people who have a beard or a woman who wears the hijab.
i hope your not implying about modestly dressed muslim women also
The typical romeo/prince charming stereotype. The guy that is sooo 'kind/caring' because he bends to his wife's every desire out of supposed love and lets her walk over him.
lol Romeo/prince charming type which I have read is a love story not whole lifetime marriage story. Do you mean those type that let their wives go out with friends all the time and let their wives speak to them in bad manner all the time?
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one.." [Bukhaari].
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I know some guys get put off if they see a gurl in a ninja cuz they feel she's too "Islamic" or too "extreme" or wahever.. Yet deep down that gurl could be an outgoing person.. Similarly, a gurl who don't cover herself properly, a guy could turn her down & yet deep down she could have the most amazing of characters.. So yeaaa, I was wonderin wah are your views on this? :><:
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