Perhaps I am not the best one to comment, but I do have questions also that might facilitate conversation. My questions first:
How representative would you say this man and his attitudes are among Muslim bachelors? Would it be more representative of Muslim males in certain regions? (The one man in the video suggested it is partly a problem with American culture.) Would you say that it is more representative of a certain age range of males?
My comments:
This man seemed so focused on marriage that he was hanging all of his happiness upon it. He had a belief that if he could just find the right wife then he would be happy. Unfortunately, for men like that, they are often not happy no matter how wonderful their wife is. Peace and happiness must be found from within rather than expecting others to create it for you. I felt bad for this man, in this regard, because I can see where the attitude will lead down the road. Any time he finds himself unhappy in the marriage it will be blamed on his wife. He needs to work on himself before he ever worries about finding a wife. Quite sad, but also it seems quite common among younger individuals today. Man (and woman) should seek God first. The man on the video seemed to be seeking woman first. I feel sorry for his future wife also. The whole thing makes me quite sad.
I was a bit shocked by the man in the video. His language was shocking. He was eating hot dogs. Will someone please tell me those were halal turkey or beef hot dogs he was eating. I confess I was shocked at the music and break dancing (?) at the conference he went to. His attitude would have been shocking if it were not something I see so commonly among younger individuals-- that just makes it all so sad. I am not sure how old he is. Did it say and I missed that?
This "Muslim Speed Dating" looks a bit dodgy. Ya'ni... there were no mahrams as far as I could see and break dancing with music? You don't cross over into the haraam to fulfil one sunnah.
Last edited by Banu_Hashim; 09-26-2010 at 01:17 PM.
‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)
Marriage is definitely a necessity for many but no need to be so hyper, like: 'omgggg i need to get married right now otherwise I'm gonna dieeeee'.
Marriage will come inshaAllah as long as people are taking some action. It seemed the guy was simply despairing. He needs to relax, calm down, take a chill pill or something.
dont chase marriage let it chase you....you just have to learn to lay in the cut until an opportunity presents itself
The method they use in the mosque is pretty good, it would be better to put a screen or a barrier in between...the funny thing is though just 3 sisters turned up and it looks like they've basically dragged themselves on the way to this event...you can see it from their faces haha
''Lets put it this way she can't weigh more than me'' - Ahmad saleh
^ classic haha
Last edited by Cabdullahi; 09-26-2010 at 03:15 PM.
I kinda feel like everyone sort of missed the point - I felt like the video was exaggerated and had added humorous situations to highlight the basic fact which is that it's tough to get married.
format_quote Originally Posted by PouringRain
Perhaps I am not the best one to comment, but I do have questions also that might facilitate conversation. My questions first:
How representative would you say this man and his attitudes are among Muslim bachelors? Would it be more representative of Muslim males in certain regions? (The one man in the video suggested it is partly a problem with American culture.) Would you say that it is more representative of a certain age range of males?
Generally, keeping in mind that this video was done in a humorous way and wasn't (to the best of my knowledge) meant to be a serious documentary, I'd say not representative in the way he was acting.
However, since companionship, love, intimacy, etc etc are all only permissible through marriage for Muslims, marriage is defiently on the minds of a lot of people, a lot of times. As the Imam said near the end of the video, it's natural to feel that way. It's also tough because its hard to control one's human desires when one walks out on the street in the summer time to see a beautiful girl wearing a short skirt and a tank top. That's tough to deal with.
As for whether what exactly the video was meant to represent, I can't answer that because I have no idea who made the video. You'll have to ask this question on the youtube page and maybe they'll be able to give you an accurate response.
My comments:
This man seemed so focused on marriage that he was hanging all of his happiness upon it. He had a belief that if he could just find the right wife then he would be happy. Unfortunately, for men like that, they are often not happy no matter how wonderful their wife is. Peace and happiness must be found from within rather than expecting others to create it for you. I felt bad for this man, in this regard, because I can see where the attitude will lead down the road. Any time he finds himself unhappy in the marriage it will be blamed on his wife. He needs to work on himself before he ever worries about finding a wife. Quite sad, but also it seems quite common among younger individuals today. Man (and woman) should seek God first. The man on the video seemed to be seeking woman first. I feel sorry for his future wife also. The whole thing makes me quite sad.
I completely agree with what you're saying, but like I said, I think it was definitely exaggerated.
I was a bit shocked by the man in the video. His language was shocking. He was eating hot dogs. Will someone please tell me those were halal turkey or beef hot dogs he was eating. I confess I was shocked at the music and break dancing (?) at the conference he went to. His attitude would have been shocking if it were not something I see so commonly among younger individuals-- that just makes it all so sad. I am not sure how old he is. Did it say and I missed that?
I'm pretty sure they were halal hot dogs lol. Yeah the music and break dancing was something part of the conference. But then again, I think all of this is not the underlying point of the video. Im not sure about his age.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
Marriage is definitely a necessity for many but no need to be so hyper, like: 'omgggg i need to get married right now otherwise I'm gonna dieeeee'.
Marriage will come inshaAllah as long as people are taking some action. It seemed the guy was simply despairing. He needs to relax, calm down, take a chill pill or something.
I have no idea what the break-dancing was about?
When I saw the video, I was just laughing throughout..because to me it felt like it wasn't meant to be an accurate story of his journey to get married, rather a humorous, mockumentary-type approach to highlight some aspects of what Muslim youth go through via exaggeration and humor.
Break dancing by the little kid, was I think part of the entertainment session or something. No idea.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
I think that Imam Abdulmalik said it best near the end; "don't get married just for sex".
Btw they got Denzel to oversee the dating thing? (02:55 in vid)
I think that Imam Abdulmalik said it best near the end; "don't get married just for sex".
Btw they got Denzel to oversee the dating thing? (02:55 in vid)
I hope that's not crude language for the forum, lol. That's something you'd rather read on the brother's section.
But that's true, at the same time.
But i think there's a misconception about guys and what you mentioned. Guys still require and want companionship, etc, no matter how manly they pose to be.
I think that Imam Abdulmalik said it best near the end; "don't get married just for sex".
Btw they got Denzel to oversee the dating thing? (02:55 in vid)
Salaam
Very good point - some people realy believe that when they have a sexual problem - they should just get married - what they dont understand is that marriage isnt just about sex - its about sharing your life with someone else, responsibilities and change of life - if your not ready for all that - then it can create far more problems.
They merely:
Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
Took ownership of it and don't justify it
And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
I know, I'm just saying generally. No need to get so defensive. :P jkizzle.
For the most part though, the video the OP posted is typically not what goes on in the US, to my knowledge. Spouses are usually found by word of mouth, family, etc. Or informal settings. In my life, I've only read about ONE "Muslim Singles' Get Together" in my locality, which is actually happening this month or something. I'm not going though, obviously. I'm too young. Just kidding, lol. I wouldn't go either way, insha-Allah.
Though, I've been noticing the rise of matrimonial websites. What used to be a despicable thing... now is becoming pretty common. Sort of like facebook. I remember a time when I used to think facebook, myspace, and youtube were horrible websites. It's either I'm becoming more liberal or society is evolving, or both... Or I'm just growing up. I doubt it's the latter, lol.
I think that Imam Abdulmalik said it best near the end; "don't get married just for sex".
Btw they got Denzel to oversee the dating thing? (02:55 in vid)
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I confess I was shocked at the music and break dancing (?) at the conference he went to. His attitude would have been shocking if it were not something I see so commonly among younger individuals-- that just makes it all so sad. I am not sure how old he is. Did it say and I missed that?
and break dancing with music? You don't cross over into the haraam to fulfil one sunnah.
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