Obeying parents to which extent?

**peace_maker** · 10-15-2011

I know that there is a very high position for parents in Islam. And that through their pleasure is Allah's pleasure; and through their anger is Allah's anger. We must never hurt them in any way, and always keep them happy.

But, what about when your mother or father is guiding you wrong with or without their knowledge? For example to.. haram, bidah, shirk...?Should we still go according to them with an excuse of honoring parents, or should we disobey them and follow what is right instead?

Please try to quote verses/hadeeths with your reply.Jazakallah Khair

**sis muslimah** · 10-16-2011

Qur'an says: "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23). Muhammed (saws) has said that some of the most disgraced people in hellfire will be those that are there because they did not care for their parents in old age.

So while Islam does put a high emphasis on respecting one's parents and elders in general, it also forbids obeying parents in that which is known to be wrong.

The Prophet (saws) ordained that "No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes disobedience to the Creator."
The Qur'an also says, "But if they strive with thee to make thee ascribe unto Me as partner that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly.] (Luqman 31:15)"

therefore obedience is first only to allah swt then your parents

"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is two years. Be grateful to Me and your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." [Quran 31:14-15]

**Abz2000** · 10-16-2011

i found this narration:
Abu Huraira's mother, was still a polytheist, He prayed for her to become a Muslim, but she refused. Sunni sources report:

One day, he again invited his mother to believe in the One God and His Prophet. She answered with some bad words about the Prophet. Abu Hurairah went to the Prophet with tears in his eyes. “Why are you crying, Abu Hurairah?” asked the Prophet. “I always invite my mother to Islam, and she always refuses,” said Abu Hurairah. “I asked her again today. But she said some things about you that made me sad. Can you pray to Allah for her to turn to Islam?” The Prophet prayed for Abu Hurairah’s mother to accept Islam. When Abu Hurairah went home, he found the door closed. He heard the splashing of water. He tried to enter the house, but his mother said, “Wait a minute. Don’t come in yet.” Then she got dressed and said, “You can come in now.” When Abu Hurairah went inside, his mother said, “I declare that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.” Abu Hurairah again went to the Prophet crying. But this time his tears were tears of joy. “I have good news, Rasul'Allah,” he said. “Allah has answered your prayer and guided my mother to Islam.”