Polygamy is a good idea if the husband is righteous and righteous people are rare in this world. Many men in Islamic countries use polygamy in Islam to fulfill their needs. So obviously, women have grown up to not trust their husband in a polygamous marriage. Furthermore, a man has to respect his wife's decision as well. If she is not happy, he needs to consider that. Not everyone woman likes to be in a polygamous marriage and we all need to respect that.
To fullfill our needs, ofcourse, we men have desires 24/7. Otherwise we will fall into zina. But ofcourse we need to be pious too. A women has only these desires once a month...just the truth
http://www.youtube.com/user/robinb4life?feature=mhee
I will not calm down until I will put one cheek of a tyrant on the ground and the other under my feet, and for the poor and weak, I will put my cheek on the ground. - Umar ibn khattab(Ra)
Off topic posts have been removed. I mentioned in an earlier post that anything outside of the current topic, including marriage contracts, basic rights of the spouses and other similar topics, are to be discussed in new threads. Further off topic posts will be removed to avoid derailing this thread.
cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn off topic posts has not be removed that includes her first one. At least be fair on this issue.
To fullfill our needs, ofcourse, we men have desires 24/7. Otherwise we will fall into zina. But ofcourse we need to be pious too. A women has only these desires once a month...just the truth
What I mean is they do not take care of their multiple wives and do not treat them fairly.
To fullfill our needs, ofcourse, we men have desires 24/7. Otherwise we will fall into zina. But ofcourse we need to be pious too. A women has only these desires once a month...just the truth
cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn off topic posts has not be removed that includes her first one. At least be fair on this issue.
I've only left the very first post and a couple or so others because they were in line with the topic title: polygamy from a woman's point of view. All women may not agree with her but in fairness she has made some good points. It's very rare to hear a sister speaking for it and I believe there is benefit in it.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
I've only left the very first post and a couple or so others because they were in line with the topic title: polygamy from a woman's point of view. All women may not agree with her but in fairness she has made some good points.
No it isn’t on topic at all. Oh Of course, that why you are not deleting her post because she has "some good points". Right on, now I am starting to get what this forum is about. Any opinions you have liking towards wont be deleted. I get it. Dont expect to participate in such a forum. bye
What I mean is they do not take care of their multiple wives and do not treat them fairly.
Aha ok, then your right.
http://www.youtube.com/user/robinb4life?feature=mhee
I will not calm down until I will put one cheek of a tyrant on the ground and the other under my feet, and for the poor and weak, I will put my cheek on the ground. - Umar ibn khattab(Ra)
No it isn’t on topic at all. Oh Of course, that why you are not deleting her post because she has "some good points". Right on, now I am starting to get what this forum is about. Any opinions you have liking towards wont be deleted. I get it. Dont expect to participate in such a forum. bye
If that was the case then I would have allowed the argument to carry on because there is more fun in the drama. I don't have any personal liking towards anyone's posts except for those which I have clicked 'like' on. I am looking at the posts from the concept of benefit. I cannot genuinely claim to like any of the posts unless I have learned something new Islamically.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
The basis of my questions is the presumption that men have a 'biological need' to be satisfied - that can not be achieved by one wife......and that the only reason men are now limiting themselves, (in this modern day), has stemmed from the lack of financial means and other social stressors.
If a man married multiple wives, actually this is not because 'biological need', but 'emotional need'. If only for biological, one wife is enough. Men's durability is not unlimited, while woman have better endurance. Women are still able when their spouses have run out the power. Yes, women have "off days", but not long, and men actually can wait.
As a woman who ever got married I think you understand what I mean.
So, why men married multiple wives?. Because every woman is different. They have different character, personalities, and different ways to treat the men. Those men want to feel this difference. This is what I mean with "emotional need".
If that was the case then I would have allowed the argument to carry on because there is more fun in the drama. I don't have any personal liking towards anyone's posts except for those which I have clicked 'like' on. I am looking at the posts from the concept of benefit. I cannot genuinely claim to like any of the posts unless I have learned something new Islamically.
Even the person who created the posts said her posts were off topic. Sure, you are looking at these posts from benefits perspective. Are there any benefits in calling sisters selfish? What do I know? This is last time you will be hearing from me. I don’t intend to support forum that is so clearly biased. So have a nice life I guess and I wont bother you or other fellow members anymore.
Even the person who created the posts said her posts were off topic. Sure, you are looking at these posts from benefits perspective. Are there any benefits in calling sisters selfish? What do I know? This is last time you will be hearing from me. I don’t intend to support forum that is so clearly biased. So have a nice life I guess and I wont bother you or other fellow members anymore.
Dear sis, can we discuss this on PM's?
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
This is a sensitive subject though, if you want to need know more study Hormones and fertility more. Women ovulate once a month, and during this period they are fertile, and this is where a women has more desire. With Men its different, they are fertile 24/7, and they do not have the same hormonal fluctuations as women do. So naturally men have more desire, and polygamy is the halal way of fullfilling it, if one wife indeed is not enough. I am not saying that this is the only reason but if a man can't control hmiself with one wife then there is an option for another.
http://www.youtube.com/user/robinb4life?feature=mhee
I will not calm down until I will put one cheek of a tyrant on the ground and the other under my feet, and for the poor and weak, I will put my cheek on the ground. - Umar ibn khattab(Ra)
If you are still not able to get a wife, do not talk about want to have multiple wives.
Lol!
SubhanAllah brother,
Indeed, first be able to treat one wife well and complete your duties with one family (how often is this achieved today?), before even considering taking on 2/3/4.
That too is affected by a number of factors psychological, physiological and even genetics.. Perhaps when you're a teenager and what you've said rings true from your experience but men too are affected by hormones, sports like cycling even a computer on your lap or simply feeling sad.
That aside.. I think the topic has been chewed multiple times and regurgitated and re-chewed... So glory to those who do and those who don't.. but not those who say they do and decide they won't.. It is a mutual decision between the parties involved not a show of machismo.. and I agree with the post that Sr. Zaria made about it being a test to the woman too. We're human beings with feelings, intelligence, desires etc.
The way some people here talk is as if we're some sort of inferior quality ornament for acquisition.
There can only be one queen bee.. if you're going to have more than one it is best to give each one her own hive.. not because of jealousy or so they wouldn't both be fighting for your wallet (please don't flatter yourselves).
I believe in this day and age women earn equally if not Superior to men at least that's what the consensus say so have a look at them because that applies especially so to Muslim women. Have a look at England as an example where Muslim women generally have higher education even compared to their atheist & Christian counterparts which isn't the case for Muslim men (I had posted an article on the matter a response to 'Thinker' before-- be that as it may they need their separate place of residents because the natural order of things is that too many adults in one household will have a clash of opinion it is a natural law, it applies to men too..
A ship can't have more than one skipper, nor can more than one man lead in battle it isn't an exclusive condition of women alone-- so it is something to think about before you congratulate yourself on how righteous you're for self-immolating by taking in the strays, widows & spinsters.
That too is affected by a number of factors psychological, physiological and even genetics.. Perhaps when you're a teenager and what you've rings true from experience but men too are affected by hormones, sports like cycling even a computer on your lap or simply feeling sad.
Nope, its purely our desires, nothing to do about it but to supress it until we men marry, its part of our nature.
Its our nafs, our dear Prophet Muhammed(Saw) mentioned that we have to marry young is because of this reason.
Last edited by Jedi_Mindset; 04-16-2012 at 04:59 PM.
http://www.youtube.com/user/robinb4life?feature=mhee
I will not calm down until I will put one cheek of a tyrant on the ground and the other under my feet, and for the poor and weak, I will put my cheek on the ground. - Umar ibn khattab(Ra)
Nope, its purely our desires, nothing to do about it but to supress it until we men marry, its part of our nature.
Exactly what are you saying NO about? Certainly you're not a spokesperson for all men? There would otherwise be no need for Nocturnal tumescence tests, Yohimbine, testosterone patches or blue pills..
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
No it isn’t on topic at all. Oh Of course, that why you are not deleting her post because she has "some good points". Right on, now I am starting to get what this forum is about. Any opinions you have liking towards wont be deleted. I get it. Dont expect to participate in such a forum. bye
Bye,
Polygamy... Would I? Uhm... Not in my present state. Nah, no way.
But if I had the not only the correct understanding of polygamy in Islam, coupled with a stricter practice of deen, then why not?
Before people start considering polygamy as an option, maybe they should take a good long hard look, within. In modern times, it's hard enough juggling home life with work and other commitments... Imagine juggling two home lives with the rest (facepalm).
Besides, most of us live in the west... polygamy is not tolerated and is even a crime in most (if not all) western countries. Wanna get married to two wives? maybe go to the third world and consider your options there. That's what I think...
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