It’s a beautiful sunny day, Moosa and Fatima, two bubbly and vibrant 5 year old twins, try to draw their parent’s attention to the lovely sandcastles they had been constructing for hours in the garden. Dad is too busy viewing television and replying to emails on his Blackberry mobile while mum has for the last few hours been chatting with her friends and updating her Facebook page. Mum and dad, hardly take notice of their kid’s achievement. Both parents are usually so involved in their work and social environments that they “hardly” get time for their kids.
Apart from the first four weeks spent with mum after birth both Moosa and Fatima have ever since infancy been inhabitants of a day care centre. In the evenings mum picks them up on her way back home from office. Dad returns usually late in the evening and both parents barely have time to interact with their kids before its time to sleep and wake-up again.
A strange phenomenon of children with both parents but are “modern day orphans”. Due to many parents deep engrossment in the material and social environment, they are unable to spend basic and vital time with their children, thus neglecting them and reducing them to the level of “modern day orphans”. Parents are there, but in reality they are not “there”.
Child neglect, very common type of child abuse, is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs; it not only relates to lack of food, education and clothing but extends to the child’s emotional and spiritual needs as well as hygiene and supervision. Child neglect is not always easy to spot and the guilty parents are so often oblivious of this syndrome.
Recently a teacher from Primary School asked her students to write an essay about what they would like for them…
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her:- What happened?
She answered:- Read this. It’s one of my student’s essays.
Oh Allah, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place and have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk… I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working.
Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired and I want my mum to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me… and… I want my brothers to fight to be with me… I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me and last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them… Allah I don’t ask you for much… I just want to live like every TV.
At that moment the husband said:- ‘My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!
She looked up at him and said:- ‘That essay is our son’s!!!
Makes you think doesn’t it?? The significance of child neglect should come as no surprise, given the present day lack of parental care and nurturance. It is so crucial to offer our children care in terms of educational training, emotional support and spiritual guidance. The heart of a child must be filled with love and Imaan(faith). A child’s mind must be entertained with proper guidance, knowledge and wisdom and not left to be nurtured by peer pressure, social networking and immoral television programs.
Allah Ta’ala, The Most Exalted says: “ O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire …”(Qur’an- 66:6).
The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Everyone of you is a protector and guardian and responsible for your wards and things under your care and a man(parent) is a guardian of his family members, and is accountable for those placed under his charge.” (Hadith-Bukhari and Muslim)
Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don’t realize what messages they are sending.
One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have caring and loving parents to call mum and dad. There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.
Have fun with your kids, laugh with them, talk to them – children remember having fun more than they remember having things. When they’re older, they look back and remember fun things you did together, not the expensive play stations, ipods, mobiles or toys they had. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon hin) was casual and loving towards children. He once kissed his grandchild while another companion of his witnessed this action and said; “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Hadith-Al-Bukhari)
Children are a great boon both in this world and even more in the hereafter… The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in this context, said: When someone dies, their works (righteous acts) come to an end, apart from three: Sadaqah Jariyah (ongoing charity), beneficial knowledge, or a pious child who prays for them (the deceased). (Related by Imam Muslim in his “Sahih”; Al-Tirmidhy, Al-Nasa’y and Imam Ahmad)
And never …yes never neglect and create “orphans” of them while both of you are still around…Children are indeed among our greatest assets…Love and care for them when they need it most and they will love and care for you when you need it most!
Surah Al Baqarah 83rd verse:And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but God; treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and practice regular charity. Then did ye turn back, except a few among you, and ye backslide (even now).Surah Al Baqarah 117th verse:It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in God and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.Surah Al Baqarah 215th verse:
They ask thee what they should spend (in charity). Say: Whatever ye spend that is good, is for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers. And whatever ye do that is good, -God knoweth it well.Surah Al Baqarah 220th verse:
(Their bearings) on this life and the Hereafter. They ask thee concerning orphans. Say: "The best thing to do is what is for their good; if ye mix their affairs with yours, they are your brethren; but God knows the man who means mischief from the man who means good. And if God had wished, He could have put you into difficulties: He is indeed Exalted in Power, Wise."
Surah Al-Nisa 2nd verse:
To orphans restore their property (When they reach their age), nor substitute (your) worthless things for (their) good ones; and devour not their substance (by mixing it up) with your own. For this is indeed a great sin.Surah Al-Nisa 3rd verse:
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.Surah Al-Nisa 6th verse:
Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account.Surah Al-Nisa 8th verse:
But if at the time of division other relatives, or orphans or poor, are present, feed them out of the (property), and speak to them words of kindness and justice.Surah Al-Nisa 10th verse:
Those who unjustly eat up the property of orphans, eat up a Fire into their own bodies: They will soon be enduring a Blazing Fire!Surah Al-Nisa 36th verse:
Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who are near, neighbors who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For God loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-Surah Al-Nisa 127th verse:
They ask thy instruction concerning the women say: God doth instruct you about them: And (remember) what hath been rehearsed unto you in the Book, concerning the orphans of women to whom ye give not the portions prescribed, and yet whom ye desire to marry, as also concerning the children who are weak and oppressed: that ye stand firm for justice to orphans. There is not a good deed which ye do, but God is well-acquainted therewith.Surah Al An'am 152th verse:
And come not nigh to the orphan's property, except to improve it, until he attain the age of full strength; give measure and weight with (full) justice;- no burden do We place on any soul, but that which it can bear;- whenever ye speak, speak justly, even if a near relative is concerned; and fulfill the Covenant of God: thus doth He command you, that ye may remember.Surah Al Anfal 41st verse:
And know that out of all the booty that ye may acquire (in war), a fifth share is assigned to Allah,- and to the Messenger, and to near relatives, orphans, the needy, and the wayfarer,- if ye do believe in Allah and in the revelation We sent down to Our servant on the Day of Testing,- the Day of the meeting of the two forces. For Allah hath power over all things.Surah Al Isra 34th verse:
Come not nigh to the orphan's property except to improve it, until he attains the age of full strength; and fulfill (every) engagement, for (every) engagement will be enquired into (on the Day of Reckoning).Surah Al Kahf 82nd verse:
"As for the wall, it belonged to two youths, orphans, in the Town; there was, beneath it, a buried treasure, to which they were entitled: their father had been a righteous man: So thy Lord desired that they should attain their age of full strength and get out their treasure - a mercy (and favor) from thy Lord. I did it not of my own accord. Such is the interpretation of (those things) over which thou was unable to hold patience."Surah Al Hashr 7th verse:
What God has bestowed on His Apostle (and taken away) from the people of the townships,- belongs to God,- to His Apostle and to kindred and orphans, the needy and the wayfarer; In order that it may not (merely) make a circuit between the wealthy among you. So take what the Apostle assigns to you, and deny yourselves that which he withholds from you. And fear God; for God is strict in Punishment.
Surah Al Insan 8th verse:
And they feed, for the love of God, the indigent, the orphan, and the captive.Surah 89 - Al Fajr 17th verse:
Nay, nay! But ye honor not the orphans!Surah Al Balad, 14th, 15th and 16th verse:
Or the giving of food in a day of privation, to the orphan with claims of relationship or to the indigent (down) in the dust.Surah 93 - Al Duha 6th verse:
Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?Hadiths about importance of orphan care
by Imam Bukhari*The excellence of someone who provides for an orphanAbu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The person who strives on behalf of the widows and poor is like those who strive in the way of Allah and like those who fast in the day and pray at night."*The excellence of someone who provides for his orphan'A'isha said, "A woman came to me who had two of her daughters with her. She asked me for something, but I could not find anything except for a single date which I gave her. She divided it between her daughters and then got up and left. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came in and I told him what had happened. He said, 'Whoever looks after these girls in any way and is good to them will have them as a veil from the Fire.'"* The excellence of someone who provides for an orphan in the company of his parentsUmm Sa'id bint Murra al-Fihri related from her father that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I and the guardian of an orphan will be in the Garden like these two." (His two fingers)Al-Hasan reported that an orphan used to eat with Ibn 'Umar. One day he called for food and looked for this orphan but could not find him. He arrived after Ibn 'Umar had finished. Ibn 'Umar called for more food to be brought to him but they did not have any. So he was brought sawiq and honey. He said, "Here, have this! By Allah, you have not been cheated!" Al-Hasan said, "By Allah, Ibn 'Umar was not cheated!"Sahl ibn Sa'd reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I and the guardian of the orphan will be in the Garden like that," indicating his forefinger and middle finger.Abu Bakr ibn Hafs reported that 'Abdullah would not eat unless an orphan was at his table.The best house is a house in which orphans are well treated.Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The best house among the Muslims is the house in which orphans are well treated. The worst house among the Muslims is the house in which orphans are ill treated. I and the guardian of the orphan will be in the Garden like that," indicating his two fingers.
http://www.ihh.org.tr/399/en/
May Allah increase my Rizq so I may fulfil my obligation to the orphan, Ameen.
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