Islam: Cherish your Daughters

The recommendation to beget children is inclusive of both sons and daughters, and along with this general encouragement Islam has given special merits to seeking and bringing up female children - in stark contrast to Pre-Islamic Arabia and other civilizations where daughters were a burden to be ashamed of. The Arabs prior to Islam took their hatred of daughters a step further by burying them alive.


"And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision." (An-Nahl 16:58-59)


But the Messenger of Islam, Muhammad(saw) broke from the evil norms of his society, welcoming into his household his famous four daughters Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthoom and Fatima and nourishing them with his immense love in his household which he shared with his beloved wife Khadijah [RA]. The Prophet's love for his daughters was and still is without parallel.


The Prophet was audience to one man who rehearsed his sorry tale, a tale of a brutal crime against humanity which brought tears to the Prophet's blessed eyes. Here was the man's tale:


''When I had not embraced Islam, a daughter was borne to me. When I heard the news of her birth, I wanted to bury her as was expected of me. My ancestors had done the same because it was considered better to kill the girl at birth before she could run away with someone in youth and bring shame to the whole family. The culture and tradition demanded that I bury the daughter as soon as she was born, but my heart had already developed feelings for the child and I could not do so. Time went by, and she grew day by day. Every day, I felt an urge to kill her but every day the fatherly love wrestled with the thought and put it to rest. But when she came to the age of becoming a lady, the thoughts of her running away and bringing shame to the whole family started to haunt me every second of the day. It grew so unbearable that I could not rest; I could not sleep or eat. One day, I asked my wife to dress her in nice clothes and get her ready and tell her that I was going to take her out so she could play with her friends. Although my wife did the same, but somehow she sensed this was not what I intended to do. She kept on crying silently while she combed my daughter’s hair and dressed her. My daughter, on the other hand was delighted that I was going to take her out.


When she was finally done and I was about to leave, my wife mustered up enough courage to come up to me and whisper in my ears, ”Don’t lose your trust!”


I rushed out of my house with my daughter and started on my way. I had no plan; my mind was in a state of confusion. Should I kill her or not? If I should, then how? Suddenly I saw an old deserted well that I knew was filled up with sharp stones. Should I throw my daughter in the well? My heart and mind were going in two opposite directions. My mind told me to kill her as she would bring shame to me one day while my heart kept on fighting but the fatherly love grew weaker and weaker. All this while, my daughter had been running around me, talking to me about things she would do with her friends oblivious to what a turmoil I was going through. I could not stand it no longer; I grabbed her and pushed in the well.


She must have been surprised, but all she could say was “Don’t lose your trust!” and this is what she kept on repeating until I could hear her no longer.''


When the man finished his story, he looked up and saw the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). The Prophet’s (SAW) beard was soaked with tears and he said that "If He had been allowed to punish a person for his crimes before embracing Islam, that man would have been the first one to get punished."


The religion that was sent with the Nabi prescribed a special reward for those who cherished and nourished their daughters. This has been oft recorded in several authentic Ahadeeth.


"Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." (Reported by Muslim)


"Whoever has three daughters or sisters, or two daughters of two sisters, and lives along with them in a good manner, and has patience with them, and fears Allah with regard to them will enter Paradise." (Reported by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhee and others)


And in another Hadith: "They will be a shield for him from the Fire." (Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Maajah)


Of course this extended to the daughters of the daughters as well.


Zaynab's daughter, Umamah, remained as the sweet memory of her mother. She was one of the loveliest members of the Prophet's family and dearest to his heart. 'A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was once given a necklace as a present and said, "l'll give it to the dearest one in my family."

All the women said, "The daughter of Abu Quhafa ('A'ishah) will take it." But he called Umamah to him and hung it around her neck.

"One day he (s.a.w) led his Companions in Prayer whilst carrying Umaamah bint Zaynab(ra) when he made rukoo’ he would put her down, then when he stood, he would pick her up." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


Therefore, it is upon the parents who have intellect to accept whatever Allah’s(swt) gift is with full joy and happiness, whether the gift is male or a female. Since its being a male or being a female is due only to Allah’s(swt) order alone - He, the One free from all imperfections - and Most High says:


"To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren who He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things." (Ash-Shura 42:49-50)


It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir (RA) that the Prophet (SAW) said: “Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows mercy to, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him.” A man asked, “And (for) two, O Messenger of Allaah?” He replied: “And also (for the one who has) two (daughters)." [Ahmad] [Al-Bukhaari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]


On the authority of ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him: The Messenger of Allaah - صلى الله عليه وسلم - said:


"…and whoever takes care of three daughters or three sisters and raises them upon good manerisms, is merciful towards them until Allaah makes them independent of him, Allaah would obligate the entrance to Jannah for him.


A man said: 'O Messenger of Allaah, or two?'


He responded: 'or two.'


Even if they said one, he would have said one…"


[Sharh as Sunnah: 13/14]


So, be eager to bring up your daughters to abide in the home, and adhere to firmness for it is more beneficial for their religion and more likely to bring you honor in this world and the
Hereafter.


And the horrid attitude in some cultures to divorced daughters was tossed out by the Prophet too. When his beautiful, beloved daughters Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthoom were divorced by the sons of Abu Lahab on Umm Jamil and the Quraish's insistence, then the Prophet did what was unthinkable in the pagan Meccan society which stigmatised divorcees-he welcomed them home with open arms. He did not treat them as a burden.


The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Shall I guide you to the best (form of) charity? It is to provide for your daughter when she (returns) to you (because of divorce or other circumstances) and has no one but you to provide for her." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1296


Subhanallah