I need some advice regarding my marriage. I'm trying to get a number of peoples opinion on the matter before i act/decide on anything as this is a very important issue for me.
The thing is, I recently got married, and we love each others company. However, a year into the marriage my wife decided that there was an opportunity in Australia (more than 12,000 miles away) for her, and that she wanted to go for a few months. Since we were both earning at home, and MashAllah both were doing doing very well, I did not see why she wanted to go, but on her insistence, I agreed that she could go.
We continued talking regularly and somehow made the long distance thing work for the few months as agreed. However, when it came time for her to come back, my wife refused to do so, and said she wanted to work there for another 2-3 years. I've tried convincing her every way possible, but she just won't budge. I've even talked to her parents, and they are supportive of her, and want me to wait however many years it takes for her to decide to come back.
I'm really torn, I really love my wife, but for some reason, she just wants to live in a foreign land, all by herself. My parents are old, and i am the only son, so moving with my wife is not an option either. I'm not sure if this is just me, but maintaining a long distance relationship is really hard - and already we are starting to get frustrated at each other. The love and trust is slowly starting to wither away.
Re: Marriage advice/help needed: wife won't return home
Be direct to her and tell her without hesistance what your decision is about the matter (that you want her to live with you because she is your wife.)
If she disagrees, tell her the point of marriage is to be with each other, not to earn money in distant lands for many years.
Tell her your marriage is on the line and tell her clearly, you are losing trust in a marriage which has had no intimacy or closeness.
If she persists in not wanting to return, tell her that she can stay there for a specific time period (if you wish), but that she should visit you for some time too. If she agrees, you can wait. Keep yourself busy with good things.
If you both cannot agree and you feel things are getting out of hand, then you should get her parents (or some elder whom she respects) involved and ask them to tell her to come back because this is a marriage, not an indefinite business trip. Tell them that you can already earn enough at home so she doesn't need to go abroad to earn and that this makes you lose trust in the marriage.
If she still doesn't want to come back indefinitely, then tell her that you are considering to divorce her (if you feel this is better for you) because you cannot handle the stress of a relationship which is non-existent.
Ask Allah to make a way out for you from this difficulty and share your emotions to Him after your prayers in the day.
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